Tuesday

Tuna
"A Rage in Harlem"

A Rage in Harlem (1991) is a film I adored it beginning to end. There were three reasons for this, set decoration, cinematography by Toyomichi Kurita and Robin Givens looking absolutely amazing. She only shows cleavage, and a long look at her ass as co-star Forest Whitaker licks it, but she is hot in every scene she appears in. Let me set up the plot. A deal involving stolen gold ore between a black gang and a white gang in a backwater Mississippi town goes awry, the police show up, and Robin Givens grabs the gold and heads to Harlem. She thinks the rest of her gang is dead or in jail, and doesn't much care. She approaches Danny Glover to sell the gold, but she needs a place to spend the night. As luck would have it, the undertakers ball is being held in his establishment, and Whitaker looks like a perfect patsy to her. He is overweight, doesn't drink or smoke, is an avid church goer, and is still a virgin. His younger brother, Gregory Hines, is a big numbers man and major player. When Given's old boyfriend shows up looking for her and the gold, the plot gets a little crazy on the way to finding out who will get the girl, the gold and the money.

In addition to the long look at Givens buns. we see breasts from some assorted strippers/hookers. IMDB readers have this at 5.5 of 10, and call it Crime genre. I saw it more as a comedy. Ebert saw it as a love story, and liked it at three stars. Come to think of it, it should probably be called romantic comedy/crime. Rotten Tomatoes shows it at 86% with 100% positive from the major critics. It grossed $10.4M in the US. Although the plot was somewhat preposterous, and some of the characters were much larger than life, I was thoroughly entertained. C+.

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  • Robin Givens (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)
  • Unknowns (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

    "The Crossing Guard"

    The Crossing Guard (1995) was directed by Sean Penn, and starred Jack Nicholson. His seven year old daughter had been killed by a drunk driver, Nicholson pretty much fell apart, and his marriage Anjelica Huston ended. His days are spent running his jewelry store, and his nights are spent in a strip club, getting wasted. Hence comes the nudity, with breasts and buns from Pricella Barnes and Kari Wuhrer. Nicholson is actually living for the day when the drunk driver, David Morse, gets out of jail, so he can shoot him.

    I wasn't very impressed wit the film my first watching, but found it much more interesting the second time through. Not only do they give a great portrait of how Nicholson and Huston deal with the death of their child, but they give a great insight into how Morse must also deal with what he has done. Near the end, there is a great moment of irony, when Nicholson is stopped for drunk driving.

    IMDB readers say 6.2 of 10. Huston was nominated for a Golden Globe, and deservedly so. Nicholson was a little over the top, and the film seem a little long for what it covered. Ebert and Berardinelli are lukewarm at 2.5 stars. Rotten Tomatoes rates it 63% positive, but only 33% from the top critics. US gross was a very disappointing $883k. While I found it more interesting the second time through, it is more the themes than the actual film. C-.

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  • Kari Wuhrer (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
  • Priscilla Barnes (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)

    • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Sonny (2002)

    This film is Nicolas Cage's directorial debut, a steamy Southern Gothic potboiler about some small-time players in the pay-for-sex business in N'Awlins.

    It's basically a Tennessee Williams concept updated to the new millennium: people trying to keep the dignity and self-respect of their lives in a profession that tends to snuff out the brighter angels of our nature. It had some moments, but Nic Cage made some directorial choices which just didn't work:

    1. He exercised no control (or the wrong control) over the actors, and several scenes are delivered with a hysteria which seems unnecessary and inappropriate for the circumstances. Cage himself turned in one of the sillier performances as a gay pimp in a yellow Huggy Bear suit, but Franco and Brenda Blethyn were the main scenery-chewers.

    2. He used some kind of blurring technique to show Franco's drunken perspective, and it came off about as sophisticated as the acid trip in Easy Rider.

    Just in passing, I wonder if any actor has ever gotten so much mileage out of an extended celebrity impression as Franco has gotten out of "doing" James Dean?

    You might fairly infer from some things I wrote above that the film is very old-fashioned and rhetorical. Imagine James Dean acting in a Tennessee Williams play in 1954 or 55, add color, and you'll have a very accurate picture of what it is like.

    I did think that ever-dependable Harry Dean Stanton and ever-improving Mena Suvari managed to deliver credible characters by using understatement. They gave performances from which the other cast members might have learned something.

    • Brenda Vaccaro, playing almost exactly the same role she played in Midnight Cowboy, but now 63 years old and mighty big.
    • Josie Davis (1, 2, 3). Some years after Charles in Charge, she studied at the legendary Actor's Studio. She has struggled to free herself from her sitcom image, and her post-Studio credits still involve Love Boat: the Next Wave, Baywatch, and Nash Bridges. One thing is certain. She sure ain't awkward and kinda ugly anymore. She's attractive, and she has a killer body. Check her out at the Charlie's Angels premiere

    Another woman was naked as well. See her pics in Tuna's archives under "sonny".

    Read Tuna's comments here

     

     

    OTHER CRAP:

     

    Other crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap

     

     

    PIRATE COUNTDOWN:

    days left until International Talk Like a Pirate Day (Sept 19)

    Link goes to (where else) TalkLikeAPirate.com - now with new English-to-Pirate instant translator

     

     

    MOVIE REVIEWS:

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Graphic Response
    • Kim Cattrall, a little bit of breast exposure in scenes from Sunday night's episode of "Sex and The City". Episode #85, "The Domino Effect".

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

    Hankster
    'Caps and comments by Hankster:

    Here's Chapter 2 of Kari Wuhrer in "Luscious", seems like she spent most of the movie naked. Personally, I enjoyed the body painting scenes.

    Dann
    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    "Backbeat"

    This 1993 historical drama tells the story of the very early Beatles during their Hamburg Germany gigs in 1960-61, and focuses on "fifth" Beatle Stuart Sutcliffe who was actually more intested in art than music.

    Some great 60's music and some nice nudity by several actresses including female lead Sheryl Lee. An interesting movie which will be especially attractive to Beatles fans.

    Flautista
    Kim Yates One of the few Skinemax regulars without aftermarket parts. Here she is topless in scenes from "Loveblind" (1999).

    Nutsa Kukhianidze The young Russian actress topless in scenes from Neil Jordan movie, "The Good Thief" (2002).

    Unknown An unknown topless bimbette in scenes from "Renegade Force" aka "Rogue Force" aka "Counter Force" (1998), starring the always over-acting B-movie favorite, Michael Rooker.

    Variety
    Amy Locane
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    		Toplessness and some rear nudity in scenes from the 1996 movie "Carried Away" aka "Acts of Love". For my money, my favorite of all of her films is the 1994 movie "Airheads", starring Brendan Fraser, Steve Buscemi, Adam Sandler and Fat Tony himself, Joe Mantegna.

    Susanne Bormann
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

    		The young and beautifully built German actress going topless and full frontal in scenes from "Raus aus der Haut" (1997). "Caps by the Skin-meister.

    Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    RESTAURANT REQUIRES FAT LAWSUIT WAIVER
    It's GOOD For You! - Seattle's 5 Spot restaurant is taking counter-measures against lawyers who are trying to sue restaurants for making people fat. As a publicity stunt, they are making anyone who orders their decadent dessert, "The Bulge," sign a waiver. The Bulge includes a sugar-coated fried banana, ice cream, macadamia nuts, whipped cream and two kind of syrup. Signing the waiver absolves the 5 Spot of responsibility for any weight gain and confirms that if you have to go to fat camp, you won't send them the bill.

  • Can you sue them if you get diabetes?
  • If you refuse to sign, you have to eat it with "Lite" whipped cream.
  • Soon, you'll have to sign this waiver before you can eat in ANY restaurant.


    STRIP CLUBS OFFER DANCERS COLLEGE TUITION
    She's Working Her Way Through College - Katzman Enterprises, which owns four lap dancing clubs in Windsor, Ontario, ran an ad in the University of Windsor's student newspaper offering to pay the tuition of students who work as strippers. The tuition is in addition to the regular salary and tips. Some female students expressed outrage, but a spokesman for the club said they're really trying to upgrade their talent by encouraging "intelligent" people with "good communications skills" to work at their clubs.

  • Why?
  • If they're looking for the most intelligent girls, they might have to buy them breast implants, too.
  • They need students with no morals who'll do anything for money, so they're targeting the law school.
  • For $20 extra, the naked co-eds will pretend to matriculate for you.


    50 MOST-HATED TV CHARACTERS
    Have They Never SEEN Barney?! - FHM magazine named its "50 Most-Hated TV Characters." They include nerdy Dwayne Wayne of "A Different World," pompous Dr. Frasier Crane, Mrs. Garrett on "The Facts of Life" and Fran Fine from "The Nanny." Some real people made it onto the list, too, including Kathie Lee Gifford, obsequious interviewer James Lipton and professional grump Andy Rooney. And the #1 Most-Hated? The entire cast of "Full House."

  • FHM would've cut them some slack if the Olsen twins had been 17 when they were on it.
  • At one time or another, Andy Rooney has whined about them all.
  • Steve Urkel demanded a recount.


    SIMON & GARFUNKEL REUNITING
    The Sounds Of Silence - Pollstar reports that Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel, who were rumored to be reuniting but then had a fight at the Grammys and refused to speak to each other, have reserved dates at concert arenas nationwide. They are planning a "very special announcement" Tuesday in New York.

  • Don King will announce a series of prize fights.
  • Their publicists will issue separate written statements claiming that they are now on speaking terms again.
  • They're setting aside their differences for something that's bigger than both of them: the paycheck.