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Miscellaneous:
None of these are mine, but were culled from Usenet or bulletin boards.
- Laura Morante in The Son's Room (zipped .wmv)
- Paris Hilton in House of Wax. Very nice quality, widescreen capture
(zipped .avi). There is no explicit nudity - the bottom of her skinny rump and
maybe just a hint of the top of her pubes, but it is actually quite sexy. If
she were a fresh face, I'd say. "Wow, she is adorable." Unfortunately, I know
it's Paris.
- Polly Walker in episode 2 of Rome. The zipped .avi may be of interest
because it is in super-size: 1280x720. Maybe we'll get some better lighting
for the next clip made at that definition!
The Polly Walker clip also comes with two sample captures. (Again, not mine.
I just made the frame in order to label the unlabeled caps.)
The Sensuous Nurse
(1973):
God bless those guys at NoShame Films, whoever they might be. This DVD is a
treasure!
The Sensuous Nurse is one of the great Italian sex farces of the 60s and 70s,
but nobody has known that for a few reasons. First, it has never been available
on DVD. Second, the available video tapes were not only of inferior quality, but
were significantly expurgated as well. Although the film runs more than 100
minutes long, various video versions have been as short as 77 minutes. This DVD
not only restores the film to its original full length, but also preserves the
original widescreen aspect ratio, and has been digitally remastered from the
vault negatives.
The IMDb rating of 4.6 is just crazy. The people who assigned those low
grades must have seen the 77 or 81 minute version, and it must have been edited
down to an incoherent mess. The full version not only looks good, but it works
both as lowbrow comedy and as erotica. There are sexy scenes; there are funny
scenes; and there are funny sex scenes. Oh, sure it is crude, and the humor
consists of lowbrow hijinks, but the whole thing is such good-natured,
irreverent, over-the-top fun, that I found myself laughing out loud several
times, almost against my will. And the comedy is just the icing on the
cake, because the primary appeal of the film is not one but two naked Bond
girls: Ursula Andress (Dr. No) and Luciana Paluzzi (Thunderball). Luciana didn't
remove her panties, but I think this movie presents your only opportunity to see
her ample bosom. Ursula showed it all again and again, and looked magnificent
doing so. Pretty Carla Romanelli also supplied full frontal and rear nudity in a
comic role, and one other woman stripped stark naked just to get her nipples
tweaked by Jack Palance while he was making a phone call.
The plot concerns a rich old man who has a heart attack during sex with a
younger woman. Expecting his imminent demise, his family has just about divided
his possessions when the family doctor presents them with the bad news: he might
recover. The doctor has two things to add: (1) the old man would surely die if
he had a second heart attack; (2) he will need constant care and, given his
financial status, can and should be attended by a full-time nurse. His scheming
nephew thinks about these recommendations and realizes they can easily be
combined into a sinister plot - if the old man had a full-time nurse so gorgeous
that he would have to mount her, thus causing his second heart attack.
Enter Ursula Andress.
Andress comes to realize that the old boy is quite a good fellow, while his
family is a bunch of greedy sycophants, so she backs out of the scheme, falls in
love with the old man, and ...
... well, I think you can probably take it from there.
Some of the family members are hilarious. One of the nephews is a retired war
veteran who still seems to think he's in the army, and re-creates various
military exercises and maneuvers around the grounds of the estate, complete with
military music played on a powerful sound system. His nemesis is the local
drunkard, who loves to play pranks on him by sabotaging his equipment. Those two
characters, and their rivalry for the affections of the gorgeous maid, fuel much
of the comedy.
Without really thinking it through, I started watching the film in English
with English sub-titles, and that turned out to be a great idea, because the
translations were radically different, and sometimes one of the two came up with
a much funnier way to translate the Italian jokes into English equivalents. You
would miss some of the humor if you chose only one or the other. The American
English dubbing is surprisingly good - not good in the sense of "co-ordinated
with the lip movements," but good in the sense of "actually employing real
actors with a deft comic touch." Although I lack sufficient skills to understand
the Italian soundtrack, I have to think the American actors probably did an
excellent job at conveying the humor of the original Italian script.
I thought I was watching it to record the nudity dutifully, and I ended up
enjoying the hell out of it, dumb though it was. I recommend this DVD if you
have any interest in the Italian sex farces of that period, or in the beautiful
women in the cast.
| Luciana Paluzzi |
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| Ursula Andress |
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| Carla Romanelli |
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| Unknown |
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