Sunday

"Dream On"

seasons one and two

As promised, here are the nude scenes from seasons one and two. These are taken directly from the DVD box set, so the quality is better than the ones we have seen earlier in the week.

I wrote the following comments several years ago, when I bought the DVD on the week of its release. Some of the bio information may have changed.

Here's the summary of the nudity in Season 1, which aired in 1990:

  • Episode 2: "Death Takes a Coffee Break". Nice nudity. Playing a college girl, Jeannine Renshaw seduces Martin by removing her shirt. (FILM CLIP). I think this is your one and only chance to see her stuff. Jeannine gave up on acting and became a writer. She wrote several episodes of Angel.

  • Episode 3: "Sex and the Single Father". Nice nudity. Susan Lentini is topless in broad daylight, in one of Martin's daydreams. (FILM CLIP). Lentini was out of show business by 1995, based on her IMDb entries. Martin (Brian Benben) also shows his bum in this episode.

  • Episode 6: "... and Sheep are Nervous". Almost no nudity. DeDee Pfeiffer did a sex scene, but DeDee wasn't into nudity in those days. (FILM CLIP)

  • Episode 8: "Martin Gets Lucky". Nice, if somewhat dark, sex scene between Martin and Dierdre Imerschein. (FILM CLIP). Dierdre eventually moved to the other side of the camera, and has no performing credits after 1997.

  • Episode 12: "555-Hell". Martin knocks on the wrong door and is greeted by a topless hooker expecting a client with specialized tastes! The hooker in question was one of our familiar faces, Monique Gabrielle, dressed in scuba gear. (FILM CLIP). I assume you all know who Monique is if you are reading this page.

Here's the summary of the nudity in Season 2, which aired in 1991:

  • Episode 1: "The Second Greatest Story Ever Told". There is some excellent nudity in this episode. A couple of cuties are seen topless on the set of a monster movie (Martin stumbled into the wrong sound stage), and they re-appear in his fantasies. (FILM CLIPS).

    • Anastasia Barzee never made it as a TV star, but went on to a very successful career on stage in the musical theater. She played Emma in Broadway's Jekyll and Hyde. I don't know anything about the subject, but I gather than she is now a major stage star, since a Google search for her turns up 500 valid responses, many of them very impressive Broadway credits.

    • Lisa Saxton's career was more mundane and predictable. She started as a model in Playboy Newsstand Specials, and her film roles consisted of such classic roles as "Naked Lady in Bed". See her nude in the immortal cinema classic, Terminal Exposure

  • Episode 2: "And Your Little Dog, Too". Nice nudity again. Carolyn Lowery played a notorious groupie. (FILM CLIP). Martin published her biography, "Starfucker". No sign of Carolyn in the past three years, but she was still getting plenty of work in TV and B features as recently as 2000-2001.

  • Episode 3: "The 37-Year Itch". Nice nudity from gorgeous Mimi Craven, a famous gal-pal of Sharon Stone, who still works in TV here and there, and is also a "semi-professional photographer." (FILM CLIP). She comes by her last name through a 1984 marriage to horror film maven Wes Craven (they divorced three years later).

  • Episode 5:  "Futile Attraction". Very pleasant nudity from Paula Trickey and Connie Woods as two women with whom Martin had performance problems. 

    • The scene with Woods is really cute. She dons a cheerleader outfit and waves her pompoms for Martin, all to no avail. (FILM CLIP). As far as I can see, this was her last job in show biz.

    • Trickey (FILM CLIP) failed in an attempt at a sexy B movie career, but has had a solid mainstream TV career, and has been working steadily on the boob tube ever since she quit the movies. You can also see her breasts in another timeless screen romance, Killer Cop 2. 

  • Episode 7: "What I Did For Lust". Susan Ashley shows her breasts. (FILM CLIP). This was her last credit at IMDb. Her few previous credits are softcore sex films. See full frontal nudity from her in Private Passions.

  • Episode 10: "Pants on Fire". Laura Albert is back, playing the same character she played in Episode 1 (the whipped cream girl). This time she shows her breasts, but not in the show's typically clear and well-lit context. (FILM CLIP)

  • Episode 11: "The Charlotte Letter". Fleeting topless exposure from three typical Cinemax stars: Kimber Sissons, Lisa London, and Cheryl Boudreau. (FILM CLIP). Only two of them got topless, and the quality is poor because they are seen in a stag film which is popped into a VCR and seen on a TV screen. Sissons and London have appeared naked in many films, mostly of the straight-to-vid variety.

  • Episode 12: "The Name of the Game is Five-Card Stud." Cherie Michan takes off her top in a cute scene in which she lost her blouse playing poker. (FILM CLIP). She made several more appearances on Dream On, and a few other similar guest shots, but had disappeared from the landscape by 1998. There was also male nudity in this episode, a bum from Sean Masters

 

 

The River Murders

2011

Minor spoilers in this section

In The River Murders, Ray Liotta plays a married police detective who becomes a suspect in a series of murders in which he is the only connecting link. The victims are all women and have all slept with him except for one, and that one is his mother. To make matters especially baffling, the detective can't remember ever telling anyone that he slept with some of these women, so the killer seems to have access directly into the detective's brain. Given that the crimes were all obviously committed with a distinctive signature, therefore by a single person, and given that they occurred in several states, the FBI has jurisdiction over the case and their lead investigator (Christian Slater) is not especially happy with how the local detective is co-operating with the investigation.

This premise really had some potential, but missed the brass ring by turning the hunt immediately into a "why done it?" and nothing more. The film shows us almost immediately who committed the murders, and then reveals that the FBI was conclusively able to rule out Liotta as a suspect. While the FBI still needs to find out the identity of the killer and his connection to Liotta, those of us watching know who the murderer is, so the only hook for us is the connection. The plot was spoiled even further by showing us almost immediately how the killer could know certain things that Liotta thought he never told anyone.

Imagine if the plot had taken a slightly different direction. What if we (and the FBI) could not rule out Liotta as a suspect, and what if he had shared the details of his love life with his priest, his psychologist,  his dad, his ex-wife or all of the above? Then the film would have added an extra layer of mystery. Could Liotta be the murderer? Could the killer be the priest? The shrink? The dad? Liotta's jealous wife? Somebody with access to the shrink's files? All of that could have been added without changing the identity of the actual murderer, and would have kept us guessing. Alternatively, what if we could not see the killer, could not rule out Liotta with DNA or an alibi, and had not been told how the murderer could know details that Liotta never told anyone? Then the FBI (and we) would certainly have had to keep Liotta on the top of the suspect list, and there would have been far more tension between the feds and the local cops.

But the author was having none of that. Everybody knew immediately that Liotta was innocent, and they soon figured out how the killer got into Liotta's brain. We know even more than the FBI, since we can actually see who is committing the crimes. The only reason for us to keep watching is to find out why this dude has an axe to grind against Liotta. I didn't find that to be a very compelling motivation.

Complete spoilers in this section

The film also had a major plot hole.

We find out in the final moments of the film that the killer is the detective's biological son. The details are too complicated to explain here, but that's supposed to be a big surprise, although I reckon that neither the FBI nor Liotta should have been surprised that he had sired a child or two, given that his entire life was a succession of brief affairs and one-night stands.

But here's the problem: the 11th hour revelation of the son contradicts something which happens earlier in the film. The victims were raped. The FBI was able to rule out Liotta by taking a DNA sample and matching it to the rapist's. See my point? Instead of saying, "Jack didn't commit the crime," the DNA analyst would have said in the first five minutes of the film, "Interesting. Jack, didn't commit the crime, but the DNA similarity shows that the rapist seems to be his son or father." Knowing that, they would run more detailed tests, rule out the father, and start looking for a disgruntled son. They would not necessarily have found the murderer any faster in those circumstances, but nobody would have been surprised that it was Liotta's kid.

And here's the greater problem: if the DNA test had been realistic, nobody would have been surprised that the murderer was Liotta's kid, and there would have been no movie in the first place because, as I pointed out earlier, that connection is the only part of the puzzle hidden from those of us watching the film.

Oh-oh!

End spoilers

Having re-read the above, I don't know whether I am criticizing the movie or myself, for my failure to appreciate the "why done it?" genre. I guess it's a bit of both. One the one hand, I clearly don't find "why?" to be a good enough hook to sit through a plot-heavy police procedural with stock one-dimensional characters, so I guess I was predestined to write a negative review. On the other hand, a great scriptwriter could have avoided the mammoth plot hole, and could have taken the "why?" hook and done more with it than to produce this mediocre and predictable straight-to-vid treatment.

NUDITY

The only nudity comes from three corpses:

Nike Imoru

Vanessa Toll

Sarah Ann Schultz (the character) or Rachel Handler (the body double). Despite the fact that we can see a face, I am pretty certain that this is actually Rachel Handler, and not Schultz, for three reasons: (1) in every camera set-up where Schultz can be clearly identified, the nudity is shot from the top of her breasts upward, and it's often awkward to do so, indicating that the director seems to be avoiding any nudity from Schultz; (2) Handler is listed as a body double at IMDb; (3) the dead corpse looks completely different from the character played by Schultz, and looks exactly like Handler, who we saw in The Big Bang. I would never have known that this corpse was supposed to be Schultz, except that the Liotta character identifies her for us in the same instant in which we first see the body. I think that "instant ID" was probably placed in the script to get past the confusion that might have been caused by the fact that the dead body looked nothing like the live woman in the previous scene. Mind you, I could be wrong about all of this because I don't have any inside info, but that's where I'll place my bet.

 

 

  • * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.

OTHER CRAP:

Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.

 

 

 

Shameless

American Version, Season One, 2011

s1e7

Aesthete is going to take on all the top TV shows of 2011 in 1920x1080 clips. Shameless comes up first on his list, but he'll also get to Game of Thrones and the Spartacus prequel.

Emmy Rossum film clips. See below.

 

 

 

 

 
 

Groupie Girl

(1970)


Here clips (mp4) and caps of a 1970 movie originally called Groupie Girl and then re-named I am a Groupie.

So very little to recommend this one. 'Tis the kind of exploitative fare made in the UK during the late 60's and early 70's that had enough people going to the cinema to keep the industry alive. Country girl travels with some band, has some sex, and experiences some disappointments until yada yada yada.

Four women get nekkid, three for the only time on screen because, if IMDB is taken at its word, this was the only movie they have made to date.

One, Esme Johns, plays the lead character, the girl who is the groupie. Interesting face and recreational body were not enough to land her another role. Sad. (FILM CLIP)

Two others are Christina Wright (FILM CLIP)

and Linda Priest (FILM CLIP)

By far the most revealing performance was by Ms. Priest who, although originally uncredited, spends a minute or so of screen time at a party, where she strips down to her birthday suit and dances, in a manner of speaking. No bush, but the other two Bs are there in sizable quantities.

That party - which is the kind of thing a 13-yr-old boy imagines band parties to be - also brings to the big screen the Collinson Twins, Mary and Madeleine. Former Hefmates were they but they spend far too little time topless in this scene and another - so I stuck the two together both in one collage and one clip. (FILM CLIP)

With that you have the only good reasons to watch Groupie Girl.

 

 
 

Medium Raw: Night of the Wolf

(2010)

Skinless horror from the makers of the Dark Rising franchise. WWF wrestler Andrew Martin aka Test has a part but died before its release.

Brigitte Kingsley: very tight t-shirt.


Made... The Movie

(2010)

Cheerleader movie.

Rachel Skarsten: very tight leotards.

Ashley Leggat: cleavage as Pudding Bitch.

Alana Randall: cleavage doing jumps.


2 fois une femme

(2010; aka "Twice a Woman")

DVD release hasn't been announced yet but clips are making the rounds on the internet.

Evelyne Rompre: full frontal giving a BBB performance.


"I Dream of Murder"

(2006 TV movie)

Movie featured during the "crazy female psychiatrist" week on the wimmin's network.

Carrie Colak: partial book.


"Lost Girl"

Season 2 returns with twice as many episodes but downgraded to PG-rated nudity.

episode: "Something Wicked This Fae Comes" (2011; s2e01)

Anna Silk: brassiere having fully clothed sex.

Sarah Jurgens: sexy as some sort of sleeping beauty about to be deflowered by a circus carnie.


"The Collector"

episode: "The Supermodel" (2004; s1e02)

A supermodel who sold her soul to the devil? The entire industry did that!

Carly Pope: sexy as hooker.

Angelika Libera: sexy as model who suddenly gains weight so that her breasts expand a few cup sizes. That's Laura Soltis from Hiccups in the first frame.

Erica Cerra (brunette) & Nina Pousette (blonde): sexy as lingerie models.


"Jake 2.0"

episode: "The Good, the Bad, and the Geeky" (2003)

Carly Pope: sexy as geekette.

Sara Multch: playing one of the models.


"Rescue Me"

season 7

Last week's series finale was the biggest on cable since The Sopranos. However for us hosers the final season doesn't begin airing in Canada until this weekend.

Callie Thorne: sexy in very tight sausage dress with no panty lines.


"Lonesome Dove"

episode: "The Outlaw Years: The Hanging" (1995)

Mary Beth Rubens: not wearing much as hooker.


 

 

Film Clips

(followed by samples or thumbnails when available)

Neelam Schlemminger in Prinz & Bottel (2010)

unidentified hippies in Happiness Runs (2010) in 720p

Hanna Hall, also in Happiness Runs in 720p

Hazel O'Connor in Girls Come First (1975)

 

PICS

Kim Kardashian on her honeymoon

Jana Pallaske in Phantom Pain (2009)

Emmanuelle Vaugier in 40 Days and 40 Nights (2002)

Shannyn Sossamon in 40 Days and 40 Nights (2002)