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* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).
* White asterisk:
expanded format.
*
Blue asterisk: not mine.
No asterisk: it probably
sucks.
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OTHER CRAP:
Catch the deluxe
version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles,
here.
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Teach Me Tonight
(1997)
Teach Me Tonight is an erotic whodunit starring Judy
Thompson and Kim Cassidy (AKA Kim Yates). Thompson is living with a
grad student and working in the university on a science grant
project. Things begin to unravel. First, her old best friend
(Cassidy) shows up out of nowhere, and ends up at their house for
the night, where she noisily entertains a gentleman. The next day,
Thompson discovers an earring in her bed, proving that her boyfriend
has been having an affair. She moves out, and ends up with Cassidy.
When she returns the next day to collect some things, she finds her
boyfriend with a bullet hole in his head, and a large
package of drugs among his possessions. She is the number one suspect
in the murder, and
she in turn suspects Cassidy, but wants to protect her.
This weak effort finds favor only with fans of
the main actresses. On the story side, the acting is weak. On the
erotica side, the photography is excessively dark start to finish,
making it difficult to enjoy the nudity.
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Notes and collages
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Bloodrayne: Deliverance
I don't know how but Uwe Boll keeps financing bad movies and even sequels to
them. He must be some kind of evil genius. Here is the sequel to BloodRayne,
this time played by Natassia Malthe, she has to beat non-other than Billy the
Kid who, to serve the purposes of this movie, is a vampire.
This time the U-man didn't even manage to deliver some nudity.
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La Mujer del Juez
(1984)
The wife of a judge feels lonely because her husband works too
much. Therefore she seeks another love and finds it in the person of a
young man.
Norma Duval (Miss Spain of 1973 and one-time star of the famous
French cabaret show "Folies
Bergere" ) plays a sexually repressed woman reluctantly opening her mind
to sexuality. This is the best role of Duval's career ... including full
frontal nudity! RLDVDs has a
widescreen and digitally remastered version available
with no regional coding!
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The Comedy Wire
Comments in yellow...
Critics mercilessly slammed Britney Spears' comeback performance on MTV's
Video Music Awards as a "train wreck," causing the excuses
to fly thick and fast. Her fans blamed MTV, claiming they changed her routine
at the last minute for insurance reasons. And her own handlers tried to blame
host Sarah Silverman, claiming Britney was too upset to perform because she'd
heard Silverman's mean jokes about her kids during rehearsal. The TV show
"Extra" even offered her a "do-over," inviting her to take another crack at the
same song on their studio stage. But Britney is already bouncing back in her own
way: shortly after the debacle, paparazzi photographed her getting out of a car
in a miniskirt with no panties and once again flashing her genitals.
* But she only did it to prove they do NOT look like
Sarah Silverman's mouth!
Quote of the Day:
"It appears we have appointed our worst generals to command forces, and our most
gifted and brilliant to edit newspapers. In fact, I discovered by reading
newspapers that these editor/geniuses plainly saw all my strategic defects from
the start, yet failed to inform me until it was too late. Accordingly, I am
readily willing to yield my command to these obviously superior intellects, and
I will, in turn, do my best for the Cause by writing editorials - after the
fact."
-- Robert E. Lee, 1863
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