UPDATES:

• I added a few dozen more individual volumes to section B of the encyclopedia. New ones highlighted in yellow.

Rome (Episode 3):

These caps come from the most recent episode of Rome, which aired Sunday. The nudity this week was nothing special, but I'll tell you what is extraordinary. If you remember, last week I ran some clips from usenet which purported to be from episode three of Rome, and my comment was something to the effect of, "That is Polly Walker, but I don't know how this could be from episode three of Rome because that hasn't even aired yet."  Well, guess what? Those clips were the real deal, the very same scene captured here. I don't know who did those clips or how he got them, but ya gotta be impressed.

These are not my captures, but simply framed edits of some original captures by an imager named "Mr Blonde."

Polly Walker

Mailbox:

Candice Michelle

Susanne Benton from "A Boy & His Dog."

Alexander Keith in "Capitol Conspiracy."  (Aka "The Prophet").  This movie is bad even by Fred Olen Ray standards, and Alexander Keith is about as sexy as Keith Jackson, the voice of college football.  (He is great doing football, but I wouldn't want to kiss him.)

Inserts

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

HURRICANE KATRINA INCOMPETENCE NEWS ROUND-UP

One More Disaster - The federal government will discontinue giving $2,000 debit cards to Hurricane Katrina evacuees.  Among the problems: fights in the long lines, people applying who weren't really from the affected areas, and reports that people were using them to buy things such as X-Boxes and Rolexes.  Also, some entrepreneurs were offering $1500 cash for them, since the cash could be used to buy drugs, booze and cigarettes.  One upscale store reported two affluent-looking young women using the cards to buy $800 monogrammed Louis Vuitton handbags.

*  Well, they already HAD enough cash for booze, drugs and cigarettes.
*  If you're going to relocate to Dallas, that's a necessity.
*  It was either that or a tank of gas.
*  Nice to know that even after a natural disaster, all it takes to get rich in America is a good idea.


What Can Brown Do For You? - FEMA head Michael Brown was removed from direct command of Hurricane Katrina relief efforts Friday, but he privately blamed the media for scapegoating him, saying FEMA's response time was about the same as usual for dealing with a major hurricane.  He told the A.P., "I'm going to go home and walk my dog and hug my wife, and maybe get a good Mexican meal and a stiff margarita and a full night's sleep," and then he'd go back to helping victims.

*  Look for him next week, sometime...
*  That's a margarita, not a hurricane...He stays far away from hurricanes.
*  He knew he was in trouble when his dog refused to be seen out with him.
*  He was accused of being an incompetent no-nothing who got a government job by knowing the right people, and that's unheard of in Washington!


FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER CHURCH GROWING IN POPULARITY
Saucy! - Thanks to the Internet, the fastest-growing religion in the world may be the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.  It was founded by physics grad Bobby Henderson of Oregon, who opposes the push to teach "Intelligent Design" in schools.  Realizing proponents didn't specify which God did the designing, Henderson declared that it had been revealed to him that the universe was created by a flying monster made of spaghetti and meatballs, and he wants that in the curriculum.  His website (www.venganza.org) is now getting two million hits a day, images of it are everywhere, and one blog is offering $1 million to anyone who can disprove
the existence of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

*  And his archangel, Oregano.
*  I can!  If there were any creature made entirely of spaghetti and meatballs, Luciano Pavarotti would've eaten it by now.
*  On eBay, you can buy slices of garlic toast with the image of the Flying Spaghetti Monster on them.



WORLD'S SLOWEST POLICE CHASE
Slower Than O.J.? - Jethro Smith of Devon, England, was sentenced to two years' community supervision after leading the slowest car chase in history.  Dairy farmer Chris Lees of Devon, England, called police to report that Smith had broken into his house, loaded belongings into his wheelbarrow, and was escaping by pushing it down the road in a pouring rain.  The cops said they were busy and to follow at a safe distance until they could arrive.  Lees and his children got in the car and crept behind Smith and the wheelbarrow for eight miles until the cops finally arrived, two hours later.

*  In England, thieves pushing wheelbarrows usually outrun the cops.
*  This aired live on British TV, and was still more exciting than the usual programming.





GAY COWBOY MOVIE WINS TOP PRIZE
Saddle Sore - The grand prize at the Venice Film Festival went to director Ang Lee's "Brokeback Mountain," a western starring Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal as two cowboys who have a gay sexual relationship while tending sheep in Wyoming.  Lee said it shows the film is "unique and so universal."   He called it "a great American love story."

*  Like "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid!"...Oh admit it, you know what was going on with those two.
*  They were just two gunslingers who couldn't go straight.
*  This gives a whole new meaning to the phrase, "The cowboys went out to slap leather."
*  Animal lovers like it, too, because for once, the lonesome cowboys left the sheep alone.



MOST POINTLESS BRITISH CELEBRITIES
The Pia Zadora Award - In a poll by the British TV show, "The Death of Celebrity," which mocks people who are famous despite having little or no talent, Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham was voted the UK's most pointless celebrity.  Her husband, soccer star David Beckham, was second, with busty glamour models Jordan and Abi Titmuss were #3 and #4 and Tony Blair at #5.  Surprisingly, the entire Royal Family lumped together only made it to #7.

*  There's just so much competition now.
*  I remember when there was nothing more pointless than the entire British Royal Family lumped together.
*  Brits were confused: they think Posh Spice and David Beckham ARE the Royal Family.
 *  How can Posh Spice's fame possibly be more pointless than the other four Spice Girls'?


TYRA'S PORN DOUBLE TROUBLE 
Totally Not Tyra - The New York Post reports that model/TV host Tyra Banks is having doppelganger trouble: the September cover of the porn mag Xtreme features a naked model who looks just like her.  The woman was discovered by a porn director at a mall, and has now posed nude, made a movie called "Boned" and launched a website called "TotallyTyra.com."  Banks' spokeswoman saw the Xtreme spread and said, "Clearly, this is not Tyra. Tyra doesn't smoke or drink, and she wouldn't pose nude in a million years."

*  Of course, for a model, one year equals a million years.
*  We know she wouldn't: that's why this woman is so popular.
*  All it really takes is going to the same plastic surgeon.
*  The lookalike's next gig: hosting a reality show called "America's Next Top Porn Star."

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