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Huevos de Oro
Aka "Golden Balls." (The kind between your legs, not the soccer kind. The
literal translation would be "golden eggs"). Summary info and film clips
in yesterday's edition. (You will find more nudity in the film clips as well,
including another full frontal from Maribel Verdu as she gets out of bed.
Several scenes were too dark and/or had too much motion blur to produce adequate
caps.)
Man, that Maria de Medeiros has a weird-shaped face. Every time I see a capture
of her I think the aspect ratio must be wrong. Not so. It's just that her head
is in the wrong aspect ratio.
Come to think of it, every time I hear her voice I think the playback speed must
be wrong. Not so. It's just that her voice is in the wrong timbre.
She's one odd little duck.
Maribel Verdu
Maria de Medeiros
Raquel Bianca
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* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).
* White asterisk:
expanded format.
*
Blue asterisk: not mine.
No asterisk: it probably
sucks.
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OTHER CRAP:
Catch the deluxe
version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles,
here.
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La Liceale nella classe dei ripetenti
(1979)
This is the second in a series of La Liceale raunchy teen
comedies from Italy. The setting is a school full of students with
little ability and less interest, all of whom delight in torturing
the somewhat unusual faculty. The headmaster carries a riding crop,
and is constantly hurting himself or others with it. One teacher is
a large woman who bounces off the ceiling every time there is a loud
noise near her. The gym teacher is perpetually trying to get laid,
and has to motivate uninterested students. The new music professor
comes out of class every afternoon to find his car disabled.
When you ask about hot
Italian stars today, Monica Belucci and possibly Asia Argento come
to mind. Most mainstream movie buffs will also remember Gina
Lollobrigida and Sophia Loren. If you were a fan of Italian
exploitation in the 70s, however, the names were Edwige Fenech and
Gloria Guida. This time the large-breasted, Lolita-like Guida takes
the lead role, and shows off her abundant breasts and buns. The
central plot narrative features Guida, as the most attractive girl
on campus, being pursued by two main suitors: the headmaster's son;
and a dark, quiet boy in the class.
Of course, the school has the usual class troublemakers who are
constantly up to mischief, much of which involves toilets, small
explosives, and dirty tricks on professors. There is a shower scene
that is eerily similar to the "beaver hunt" in Porky's, with the
guys punching a hole into the girls shower, and the girls noticing,
and slapping soap suds on them. The more observant of you have
already figured out that Porky's came out three years after this
film!
IMDb readers say 3.9 with only 34 votes. It is no wonder that the
voter turnout it light, in that it is very hard to find. I found it
in an all-region PAL from Germany at RLDVDs.com. It is titled Flotte
Teens jetzt ohne Jeans (Hot Teens - Now Without Jeans) in the German
release. It sports a pretty good transfer, with only a few white
spots here and there. The biggest negative is that there is a choice
of German or Italian and no English subtitles. On the other hand,
much of the comedy is physical humor, which translates well even
without a common language.
If there were English subtitles, it would be a C+, a genre
picture with a lot of entertainment value. That is still the proper
grade if you speak Italian or German. If not, caveat emptor.
You know the drill. Click on the pic
to get the straight skinny.
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Slave Girls From Beyond Infinity
Today we journey back to 1987 for "Slave Girls from Beyond Infinity." Now you would think with a title like that it would be chock full of nudity, but it's not, just a sprinkling here and there.
Scoop's note: the slave girls were actually
quite clever. Although they came from beyond infinity, they were just barely
beyond, just across the border, and were thus still able to send their kinds
to the prestigious infinity public schools.
Brinke Stevens is a "Babe in Bondage" with some slight nipple exposure.
Cindy Beal topless as she takes a dip in the ocean.
Elizabeth Kaitan does the "Babe in Bondage" thing and some breast exposure in the sack.
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Notes and collages
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It's a Boy/Girl Thing
Another visit to the lusty, R-rated Peruvian soap opera.
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The Worst Years of Our Lives
Ariadna Gil tribute, part 1
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A film clip of
Cordula Reyer in Hellphone |
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Demi Moore |
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Frankie Rayder |
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Leelee Sobieski |
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Anne Dudek (l) and Melanie Lynsky (r) in
park
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Julia Volkova of the Russian faux-lesbian
duo Tatu
 
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Ten 'Til Noon
This very good 2006 thriller with its very unique style and gut-punch
delivery will keep you glued to your seat from the beginning to the end.
The story focuses on a crime committed between 11:50 AM and 12:00 noon.
It is told repetitively from the viewpoint of ten different people who are
all connected to the crime. As we see the ten minutes replayed from each
person's point of view, things start to become clearer.
Any more information would give too much away, but I found this to be
an excellent nail biter that I highly recommend.
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| Jennifer Hill |
Rayne Guest |
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The Comedy Wire
Comments in yellow...
An appeals court reinstated an indecent exposure charge against a
41-year-old Riverside, California, woman, overruling a judge who found that the
law banning someone from exposing "his person" only applied to men. The woman
had complained that her neighbor's 14-year-old son was making too much noise
playing basketball, and when he didn't stop, she stepped onto her deck and
sunbathed nude, then threatened to do it every time the teen played basketball.
The judges wrote that they found no reasonable or logical basis to conclude that
women can't commit indecent exposure.
* I find no logical basis to think that a woman showing
her naked body to a 14-year-old boy would be a very effective threat.
Ryan Seacrest and the three "American Idol" judges offered to collectively
manage Britney Spears for six months and revive her career. Simon Cowell said
they'd start by keeping her away from her stupid friends and buying her some
underwear.
* You know you've hit bottom when you turn to Paula Abdul
for career advice.
* Would it really help that much to have Paula Abdul critique her MTV wipeout
by saying she looked beautiful and everyone loves her?
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