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Tuna
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"Two Girls for a Madman"
Two Girls for a Madman (1968) is an early roughie from Something Weird Video, and is far from their best release to date. The entire thing is narrated over a bad jazz track, The acting is seriously over the top, and the plot is a joke. Two friends are both ballet students. Tony France is a serious ballet student, but rather shy and lives with her mother. Jean Weston is a party girl, not quite 17. They both attract the attention of the same demented rapist.
France shows breasts in a shower scene. Several unknowns show breasts and buns when Weston ends up at an orgy. We also have breasts and buns from unidentified ballet students. This is a terrible film. Even as a genre lover of early soft core, it was painful to watch. E.
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Toni France
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Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
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Gotham
(1988 - cable):
On the surface, Gotham is a film noir detective story. A man walks
into the office of a down-on-his-luck private eye, spins a story,
details don't seem to make sense, but the detective takes the job
and lowers his shoulder to the wheel.
The beginning of Gotham is very similar to the
beginning of Vertigo. In Vertigo, a rich guy hires a detective to
follow and possibly protect his wife, whose body seems to have been
taken over by a dead women. In Gotham, a rich guy hires a detective
to find out why his dead wife his following him. In both movies, the
detective was hired to tail a ghost.
The great difference between the two films is that
Vertigo respects the rules of the genre, while Gotham does not. In
Vertigo, as in almost all such noir films, we understand that there
must be an explanation for the apparently supernatural and
nonsensical details which confront the detective. If we just hang on
to our grasp of the possible, we will soon solve the case along with
the shamus. If the story is a really great one, the writer and
director place key clues right in front of us, so that if we are
particularly alert, we may even solve the crime before the detective
does. When the curtains were pulled back in Vertigo, there were no
ghosts and there were no sets of mysterious women who looked exactly
alike. The ghosts were fictions, sleight-of-hand created as part of
the usual greedy insurance scam. And the reason the two women looked
exactly alike is that they were, in fact, the same woman. The
detective was hired specifically because of his fear of heights,
which was incorporated into the scam when, at a certain point
critical to the scheme, acrophobia prevented him from following the
people he was supposed to be tailing. The mystery had a perfectly
logical explanation.
Gotham, on the other hand, chooses not to play by the
rules and conventions. In this film, the reason everything seems to
make no sense is because everything really makes no sense. It does
no good to hang on to our sense of the possible, because the
solution is impossible. The guy's dead wife really is following him.
He buried her in her jewels, as per her request. Year later, he
needed the jewels, so he exhumed her body, removed the jewels, then
re-interred the body. This ticked her off mightily in the afterlife,
and she came back for her damned jewels. The detective is simply
caught in the middle of their feud. To make matters even more
confusing, the private eye is not only tailing a dead woman, but is
having sex with her, and falling in love with her.
It is easy to become irritated with a film which uses
such cheap tricks. You can't derive any of the usual pleasures
offered by mystery films, because there is no mystery. Unlike most
detective films, where everyone is lying and nothing is as it seems,
requiring the detective to untangle the web of deceit, everything in
Gotham is
exactly as it seems. A guy says he's being followed by his
dead wife, and that's exactly what is happening. It isn't a
detective story at all. It's a ghost story.
I suppose you just have to accept what the film
throws at you and see if any of it works for you. Tuna didn't really
enjoy it that much, but I thought it worked in a lot of ways. It has
a lot of atmosphere, a touch of poetry, plenty of cynical dialogue,
and a bravado femme fatale performance from Virginia Madsen, who was
slim and sleek, and filled out the spiffy wardrobes in magnificent
fashion.
This is a movie that may appeal to you if you like
something which is off the beaten path.
Resident Evil 2:Apocalypse
(2004):
Haven't seen it. The critics hated it, but I have one positive thing
to say about it:
Other Crap:
-
Our first look at a trailer for Rick. "From
best-selling children's author, Daniel Handler (aka "Lemony
Snicket"), comes a morally reprehensible movie that's definitely
not for children. It's a fairy tale of New York all about internet
porn, carnivorous capitalism and cold-blooded murder, just in time
for the holiday season. Meet Rick (Bill Pullman). Trapped in an
upper management job that's paid him buckets of cash in exchange
for his soul, he's dominated by a boss who's a third his age,
adrift on a sea of corporate testosterone, brutalizing his
employees every time he opens his mouth. His only connection to
humanity is his daughter, Eve, who's growing up and drifting away
from her dad, downing before-dinner cocktails and cruising older
men on the internet. Like all of us, Rick has given the best years
of his life to a company that couldn't care less, he's alienated
from the people he loves, and he faces daily humiliation. And like
all of us, he gets through the day by contemplating revenge on
those he blames for his failed life. Unlike us, however, Rick not
only has revenge's business card, he's been offered a promotional
discount."
-
Six new clips from First Daughter, the new Katie Holmes comedy
-
The trailer from Around the Bend, which stars Walken and Caine.
: " Four generations of men are suddenly brought
together by the chance to uncover the truth about their family's
past. It is a journey that takes them out on the road to a world
full of surprises - some comic, some dramatic, and all of them
personal."
- This week's movies:
Mr. 3000 - 50% positive reviews.
- This week's movies:
Wimbledon - 44% positive reviews
- This week's movies:
Silver City -61% positive reviews.
- This week's movies:
Infernal Affairs - 93% positive reviews (limited distribution)
- This week's movies:
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow - 81% positive reviews.
- This week's movies:
National Lampoon's Gold Diggers - no advance reviews.
The approximate theater count for this week's new releases: Sky
Captain - 3200, Mr 3000 - 2600, Wimbledon - 1800, Gold Diggers -
1000, Silver City 100, Infernal Affairs: unknown.
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Teresa Heinz Kerry scolds hurricane relief efforts for being too
concerned with clothing: "Clothing is wonderful, but let them go
naked for a while, at least the kids"
- Press your luck.
Florida ballots: Nader is off ... on ... off ... (wheel still
spinning). No whammy! TRIVIA: Did you know that the
whammy from Press Your Luck was designed by Savage Steve Holland,
the guy who wrote and directed the cult classic film Better Off
Dead?
Check this out for details.
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PokerLizard.com - exclusive interview with Wil Wheaton, yet
another celebrity poker fanatic.
-
Urban Legend: While a teenager, future First Lady Laura Bush
caused the death of a classmate by running a stop sign. Status:
True. (No charges were filed.)
- Centuries of tradition, my ass, dept.
Amid Protests, House of Commons Votes to Ban Fox Hunting
-
Some great selling techniques used by real estate agents.
Read the ad, look at the charming picture, then click on the
picture of the bungalow to see the area surrounding it.
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Uncensored: Are My Boobs Crooked?
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The Daily Show looks at the assault weapons ban.
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A full trailer for Surviving Christmas
-
Basic Instinct 2 is a go.
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KERRY PLANS "DECEMBER SURPRISE". Amid fears that he is
trailing further behind President George W. Bush in the polls,
Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry is planning a December
Surprise to win the election, aides confirmed today. But even as
rumors of Mr. Kerry’s “December Surprise” spread through
Democratic circles, some Democrats expressed fears that Mr.
Kerry’s aggressive new strategy, while a positive sign for the
campaign, might be too little, too late.
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2004 winners announced for Kennedy Center Honors
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Are there ethnic slurs in 'Shark Tale'? Dreamworks Studio says no.
DreamWorks defended its upcoming animated "Shark Tale" against
mounting criticism from Italian-American groups who say the
movie's gangster-like Shark characters foster ethnic stereotypes.
A spokesman for the protesters, Vincent "Fat Vinny" Garagiola,
said that DreamWorks better "fix da fuckin' problem". He added,
"if they like underwater adventure so fuckin' much, maybe they'd
like to meet Luca Brazzi"
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The Travel Channel picks the World's Best Bathrooms
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The Australian questions Viagra's use of a tiger as their
commercial spokesman for virility.
- They actually suggest replacing the tiger with Kirk's
dik-dik. I didn't make that up.
- You mean there really is a Kirk's dik-dik which is not
attached to William Shatner?
- "According to one website devoted to tiger mating habits,
males of the species are unfaithful pedophiles whose flirtation
rituals involve domestic violence and spraying large quantities
of anal gland excretions and urine."
- Oh, sorry, no. That was actually a website about the mating
habits of Catholic priests.
- Are you feeling just too fucking cheerful? Maybe you need
My Miserable Life: A Compendium of Suffering: "This
compendium of suffering contains hundreds of real stories
illustrating just how much life sucks. Enjoy, and share your own
tales of woe."
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XtremeCoasters.com - videos of exhilarating roller coaster rides.
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Why Does Disney Always Kill The Parents?
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The Presidential Prayer Team renames September 11 - "Patriot Day".
You say you're too young to join? Well, it goes without saying
that there is also a
Presidential Prayer team for Kids.
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Martha Stewart seeks to serve her prison term immediately.
(Her appeals have not yet run out)
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Actress Tracey Gold's mug shot. Gold, who starred in
TV's 'Growing Pains' and famously went public with her anorexia
battle, was arrested in September 2004 for drunk driving after
rolling her SUV--carrying her husband and three young boys--down a
California freeway embankment.
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MovieJuice! reviews Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow.
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This site claims this is a bare nipple picture of Scarlett
Johannson (It is new to me, and I don't recognize her
from the picture.)
- Tips from Weekly World News:
HOW TO BE A SUCCESS ... Even if you're dumb as dirt!
-
The secretary for the squadron commander purported to be the
author of now-disputed Bush memoranda said that she never typed
the documents and believed that they are fakes.
-
Film on Cat Torture Draws Protesters in Toronto. Can
you believe those crazy Canucks? They actually think that
torturing a cat is a negative thing! How can an entire country
become so deluded?
-
Latino Review has an early review of John Sayles's new film,
Silver City.
-
JoBlo asks: "Is Paul Bettany set to replace Hugh Grant as the
reigning British male romantic comedy lead? " Well, I'm
thinking it would be better if the top comedy star were actually
funny, but what do I know? Hugh Grant may be a douchebag, but he
does have some gift for comedy. From what I've seen of Bettany,
he's about as funny as Dick Cheney.
-
The Daily Show - is internet divorce the greatest threat to
marriage?
-
The Daily Show talks about the National Guard documents
Other Crap archives . May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
Click
here
to submit a URL for Other Crap
MOVIE REVIEWS:
Here
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
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Shiloh
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Words from Scoop.
.avi's from Shiloh.
.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.
NOTE: because of a unique combination of
circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial
bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip
format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a
picture. When
you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in
the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.
I know this is not especially convenient, but it
allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from
hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some
reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not
play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory
work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this
new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want
to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips
altogether.
Private Lessons
Sylvia Kristel, the original Emmanuelle, in a film
where a 15 year old boy gets a crush on her. This movie was made in
1981, so I suppose 1983's My Tutor was the copycat. Whatever else
you say about this film, you have to love any film that co-stars
Emmanuelle and Dr Johnny Fever.
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs for these movies:
Shiloh says:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
A reader says:
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
Scoop says:
I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
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PAL
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'Caps and comments by PAL:
"Double Threat" (1993) was aired recently, and with in such good quality that I couldn't resist doin' the 'caps!
- Sally Kirkland shows off tons of robo-cleavage, plus far off toplessness and plenty of rubbing of her breasts and crotch. There is also a nipple sighting in #1.
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- Sherrie Rose goes topless and shows thong views.
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Crimson Ghost
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NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.
Today the Ghost takes a look at the 1988, lo-budget, T&A, sci-fi comedy "Dr. Alien".
- Edy Williams, the busty ex-Mrs. Russ Meyer has a very nice topless scene...especially when you factor in that she was 46 at the time!
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- Edy Williams (zipped .wmv)
- Julie Gray strips off her shirt and bra in this scene. Folks who watched MTV back in the late 80's (when they still played videos) may remember her from a bunch of Ozzie Osbourne videos.
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- Julie Gray (zipped .wmv)
- Karen Russell showing off her big'uns.
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- B-movie legend Michelle Bauer joins Karen Russell, and they both showing off their big'uns.
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- Michelle Bauer and Karen Russell topless video clips (zipped .wmvs)
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- Last but not least, a video clip of Linnea Quigley, Ginger Lynn Allen and Laura Albert all dancing topless (zipped .wmv).
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Dann
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'Caps and comments by Dann:
"Gotham"
One of the strangest movies I've ever seen, and one of the sexiest, this 1988 drama is kind of a Mike Hammer in The Twilight Zone.
A loser private detective is approached by a client with a fairly simple request: he's being stalked by his ex-wife. Persuade her to leave him alone. When the PI discovers the wife died 10 year ago, he figures his client is a nutball and a source of easy money.
Things escalate when he contacts the wife who is indeed the same woman that supposedly died 10 years ago. Is she a ghost or is there another explanation? And will things become more complicated when the PI falls in love with the (maybe) dead wife?
A gritty, classic "down and out PI" film, very sexy, but with a strong Twilight Zone flavor, some great nudity by Virginia Madsen, and an ending that will leave you scratching your head.
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DeadLamb
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Brooke Burns
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Krista Kalmus
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From Monday night's episode of "North Shore"...Burns shows a little cleavage. Kalmus looks fantastic in a bikini (#1) and then has a cuddle party with Marika Dominczyk and some dude.
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Nikki Cox
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Vanessa Marcil
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Also from Monday night TV...scenes from the season premiere of "Las Vegas". Naturally, Cox shows off her 1000 acres of cleavage, and Marcil looks gorgeous as always.
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Debra Messing |
The "Will & Grace" star shows a little cleavage on Monday night's Leno.
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Variety
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Linda Cardellini |
A very special thanks to Twitchy for 'capping it, so we don't have to watch it :-)
New this week on DVD, here is Cardellini wearing a skin tight latex body suit in scenes from "Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed".
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Amira Casar
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The former model bares all 3 B's in scenes from the French movie "Anatomie de l'enfer" aka "Anatomy of Hell" (2004). This is the latest film by Catherine Breillat, the same writer/director who made the sexually explicit French film "Romance" (1999).
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Tiffany Shepis
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Señor Skin 'caps of the Troma regular baring breasts and bum in scenes from "The Deviants" (2004)
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Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
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Pat's comments in yellow...
FAMOUS CON MAN SAYS CBS MEMOS ARE LOUSY FORGERIES
Learn Your Craft, People! - Frank Abagnale Jr., the famous con
man-turned-crimebuster whose story was told in the movie "Catch Me If You
Can," sent an e-mail to Fox News' Neal Cavuto. It read, "If my forgeries
had looked as bad as the CBS (Bush National Guard) documents, the movie
would have been titled 'Catch Me In Two Days.'"
Actually, it only took bloggers two hours to catch them.
Is Neal Cavuto SURE that e-mail was really written by Frank Abagnale?
RADIO STATION BROADCASTS IN KLINGON
Do Aliens Really Speak Klingon? - Germany's state-run radio is now
broadcasting a show in Klingon. A spokesman said it was to emphasize the
station's philosophy of multicultural, intergalactic openness, and it
"should help users from other galaxies get an impression of Germany." It's
so popular, they're adding Klingon to the existing 30 languages on their
web page.
It will give aliens the impression that Germans are big nerds.
Wasn't there enough spit on the microphones when they were just speaking
German?
"APPRENTICE" INSPIRES NEW TOY
Lawyer Action Figure Sold Separately - Reality TV is coming to the toy
store: on the premiere of the new season of "The Apprentice," the two teams
competed to create a toy for 6-year-old boys. The women's team won with
the "Morph Machine," a remote controlled car that comes apart when it
crashes and is easily put back together. Mattel liked it so much, they
plan to have it in stores by early 2005 at a price tag of $30.
All the profits will go to benefit Donald Trump's favorite cause: Donald
Trump.
It comes with its own little toy insurance policy.
Of course it will be re-named "The Trumpmobile"
The mens' team created a wind-up Donald Trump that walks around firing
Ken and Barbie.
RANGERS BASEBALL PLAYER ARRESTED FOR ASSAULTING FAN
One Riot, One Ranger - Texas Rangers relief pitcher Frank Francisco was
arrested Tuesday in Oakland, California, for aggravated battery, after he
threw a plastic chair into the box seats during a brawl over Oakland A's
fans who had been yelling abuse. It hit a man in the head, bounced off and
hit a woman in the temple, breaking her nose. The woman was not
identified, other than that she was married to a man who'd been heckling
the Rangers.
And that this is the last time she lets him pick the place they go for
their anniversary.
So a Texas Rangers pitcher can't even throw a chair and hit the right
person? That explains the Rangers' record.
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