Uncle Scoopy's Fun House

Weeds

Weeds closed out season four with a bunch of cliffhangers, and a bunch of nudity. Young Hunter Parrish flashed his bum yet again and, far more to the point of our site, Mary-Louise Parker took a bath on camera. You can't really see what she has beneath the water, but her breasts are above the water, and you can see them from two different angles.

As her brother-in-law says, "I can see your boobies."

Film clip here. Samples below.

* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

* White asterisk: expanded format.

* Blue asterisk: not mine.

No asterisk: it probably sucks.

OTHER CRAP:

Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.

Restraint

(2008)

A stripper/hooker is trying to escape her life. Her psychotic boyfriend is taking her away from that life. It isn't until the whole thing goes sour at a filling station that she discovers he has her boss's body in the trunk. The filling station owner also notices, so the violent boyfriend blows him away.

The two decide to hide in a remote mansion, which they presume to be abandoned until they discover the rich agoraphobic who lives there. The fugitives need money, but the owner has none on hand. Although the boyfriend is incredibly violent and unstable, the rich man comes up with a plan to forestall the violence and possibly even save his own life. The stripper looks much like his former fiancée, so he coaches her to go to his bank and make cash withdrawals from his account.

We soon have reason to wonder who is playing whom and for what reasons.

Since Restraint is basically a three character play on a single set, I found this Aussie film rather talky, claustrophobic, and slow-moving. The woman was the only sympathetic character, and even she was only marginally so. The boyfriend was easy to hate as an abusive and violent self-serving creep, and the rich man had plenty of issues of his own.

Teresa Palmer shows breasts and buns.

Michelle Bauer

part 2

We're jumping around a bit in Michelle's career. (Why do I suddenly feel like Ralph Edwards? And why am I making a joke that nobody will understand?)

The 1985 film is Tomboy, in which Michelle played the challenging role of "topless woman in Corvette," a part cruelly and unjustly ignored by the academy in their annual award deliberations. This is a third party clip.

The 1995 clip is Brainscan's own, followed by his collage. It features Michelle in yet another bit of Oscar bait, Vampire Vixens from Venus. These were not just any vampire vixens, mind you, but outer space vampire vixens, which require far more acting skills. They say that Lee Strasberg found it so difficult to play female space vampires that he needed to close the Actor's Studio for a month to rest up after his own transvestite effort in the long-forgotten Bloodsucking Martian Minxes. And the great Stanislavski, who would act the part of a tree so convincingly that he would stand still and move gently in the breeze for months at a time, just plain refused even to try space vampire vixens, knowing that certain failure would embarrass him in front of his students. He did try on the costumes, but that's a story for another day.

Presumed Guilty

(1991)

Holly Floria film clips.

NYPD Blue

Today we have some terrific network nudity.

"Doesn't happen," you say?

Well it did with "NYPD Blue." Charlotte Ross bared all in the 10th season episode, "Nude Awakening." Granted they managed to hide the really naughty bits, but this is still some pretty erotic stuff from a very sexy lady.

Notes and collages

Billy Bathgate

1991

Only rated 5.7 at IMDb, but not a bad film, made far better by a young, stark naked Nicole Kidman, who was sporting quite a different appearance from the one we now know.

Bluebeard

1972

This film was the grandfather of all the multi-celebrity nudity films, and it will take many days to cover it. Let's start it off with Joey Heatherton. Film clips here. Collages below.