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Tuna
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"Tortured Females"
Tortured Females (1965) is an early roughie. It is unrepentingly nasty, but has a certain charm because of that. The entire story in narrated by Denine Dubois' character to a sheriff, and is thus a series of flashbacks. When they cut back to the present, there is Denine, one breast exposed, telling the story. She is naked, but showing mostly breasts and buns through most of the story, which is supposedly a update of Little Red Riding Hood, in that she is on the way to the woods to her great aunt's house, and is beset by wolves. She and her roomie, Rita Penn, wake up in their apartment wearing transparent lingerie. Both shower then dress, and Penn leaves the picture.
Denine runs out of gas, decides to skinny dip in a stream, is raped, and then kidnapped and taken to the ranch of a white slaver. While there, she is seduced by Randy Glen, in an implied lesbo scene. Glen shows breasts and buns, but briefly. The ranch is full of tortured women, including strippers, woman in chains, and women being whipped. Several are slapped around as well, but the most inspired moment comes from an evil dwarf who chatters like a monkey and teases the chained women with food. I think I counted 4 strippers, and close to a dozen other women being tortured. I am not sure I see the point in roughies, but this one is notably for the extreme nature of it and the early use of an evil dwarf. Genre lovers should see this, but most will find it a little rough to watch, unless you are crazy about un-PC themes in film. This is a C-.
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Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
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Updates:
- Charlie's French Cinema Nudity
site is updated.
Clips of Rachel Weisz:
- A rare (and brief) look at Rachel
Weisz's heinie in Scarlet and Black. (.wmv zipped)
- Rachel is topless and shows off
the top half of her pubic hair in Bertolucci's Stealing Beauty.
(.wmv zipped)
Other Crap:
-
Whatever happened to those crazy cars from Logan's Run (TV
version)
- If you don't even have time to skip to the good parts, check
out
Burning Bushes - the Cliff's notes version of Kitty Kelley's The
Family. My favorite anecdote: George Bush the elder
sending wacky e-mails to his sons about the curvature of Bill
Clinton's penis.
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Dave Barry's favorite Florida postcard
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'You're fired' is now the top TV catchphrase. Other top
finishers include "wardrobe malfunction" and "girlie men".
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Report from Toronto: Empire Movies reviews Sideways.
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The Daily Show visits Florida's wacky "Cooter Festival".
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The Daily Show's Jon Stewart looks at the current situation in
Iraq.
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Five clips from "The Forgotten". In "The Forgotten,"
Julianne Moore stars as Telly Paretta, a grieving mother
struggling to cope with the loss of her eight-year old son. She is
stunned when her psychiatrist (Gary Sinise) reveals that she has
created eight years of memories about a son she never had. But
when she meets a man who has had a similar experience, Telly
embarks on a search to prove her son's existence, and her sanity.
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Here's the first trailer for the remake of Flight of the Phoenix.
"An action-adventure in which a group of air crash survivors -
cast-offs from society who will never be missed - are stranded in
the Mongolian desert with no hope of rescue. As they attempt to
build a new plane from the wreckage of the old one, in hopes of
flying back to civilization, they experience a rebirth of their
own."
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Rick James died of a massive heart attack that may have been
brought on by a cocktail of at least nine drugs.
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If you missed the dynamic clips from Sin City, here they are
again.
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JoBlo.com interviews Kirsten Dunst
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News of the Strange - 99 photos
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See the Comic-Con clip from Blade: Trinity.
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A new look for the Jefferson Nickel.
- From Colonel Too Silly:
retroCRUSH chooses the 50 coolest apes and monkeys of all time.
Magilla Gorilla higher than Luis Guzman? C'mon!
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Quench your thirst with genuine Donald Trump bottled water.
(Under the naked golf story)
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I know it may never come up, but if it does, remind me not to fly
Air Tajik. You have to see this. I know the print is
small, but read the English translations. Who would have thought
terrorism could be so much gosh-darned fun!
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Here is the bullshit commemorative coin - the "Freedom Tower"
Silver Dollar - that Lewis Black talks about in his rant.
(See the Lewis Black link below)
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Are the Patriots as good as the '72 Dolphins? I don't
know about that, but I lived in Miami when the Dolphins made their
famous run, and I've never seen a town so sports-crazy. I didn't
know any of the other 'Fins, but I met Mercury Morris many times,
and I truly believe he could have been elected mayor in the early
'70s. He owned the town. Besides his athletic talent, he was a
handsome, charming, articulate, intelligent, sociable man who
later fucked up his life with drugs when his glory days were over.
So it goes. Spent several years in prison. Now he is on the
lecture circuit.
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VOTERS GIVE BUSH HIGH MARKS FOR WAR ON RATHER. CBS
Newsman Tops Voters Concerns in New Poll. According to the survey,
97% chose President Bush, while only 2% said Mr. Kerry was better
equipped to fight the war on Rather.
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Lewis Black of The Daily Show shows even more outrage than usual
at 9/11 moneymaking schemes.
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A list of 13 absurd college courses. Some exist, some not. Can you
spot the fakes?
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100 Photographs that Changed the World by LIFE Magazine
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He's six-foot-1, 265-pounds, Austrian born and gorgeous! So who
better to play young Arnold Schwarzenegger in the 2005 A&E movie
'See Arnold Run' than Roland Kickinger?
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'Inside Edition' yesterday showed blurry images of topless female
caddies and beer servers wandering the links
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Johnny Ramone, the lead guitarist of The Ramones, is dead at 55.
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Who's taping whom? Everyone is filming everyone else.
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CBS's Bush/guard docs were faxed from a Kinko's in Abilene, Texas.
(21 miles from Bill Burkett's home)
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Next June: War of the Worlds will open opposite Fantastic Four
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The submitter of this link wrote: "this is the finest collection
of amateur, candid nudes I've seen". I looked at it,
and not only is he correct, but the whole damned thing seems to be
completely free - not even a banner ad in sight - and a tremendous
amount of content.
Other Crap archives . May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
Click
here
to submit a URL for Other Crap
MOVIE REVIEWS:
Here
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
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Shiloh
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Words from Scoop.
.avi's from Shiloh.
.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.
NOTE: because of a unique combination of
circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial
bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip
format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a
picture. When
you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in
the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.
I know this is not especially convenient, but it
allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from
hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some
reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not
play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory
work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this
new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want
to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips
altogether.
Miscellany
-
A lot of you have written in to say, "Scoop, I'm
sick of these beautiful women. When will you give equal time to fat
ugly chicks, especially old ones?" OK, nobody ever asked for that,
but you're gonna get it anyway, goddammit. Kathy Bates in About
Schmidt. The clip is worth watching just to see Jack Nicholson's
facial expressions. (.avi zipped) (.wmv zipped).
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Brigitte Fossey in Enigma. (.avi zipped) (.wmv zipped).
This is an obscure 1983 movie with a great cast.
IMDb link.
The damned thing is only available from Amazon Deutschland, but the
German DVD claims that it also has an English sound track, so I took
a chance and ordered it. I hope they're telling the truth. (Watching
Rapa Nui in German was a pretty eerie experience, and it has now
been 11 years since I left Austria, so my German listening skills
totally suck.)
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When you need "the weird chick" for your cast,
Amanda Plummer will be up there pretty high on your list. Here she
is in Butterfly Kiss, and she looks almost pretty here. (.avi zipped) (.wmv zipped).
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs for these movies:
Shiloh says:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
A reader says:
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
Scoop says:
I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
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Brainscan
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'Caps and comments by Brainscan:
Disappearing Lingerie is a strip-and-wiggle disk, worth about as much attention as a single viewing can give it--except for one thing: it stars Rachel Sterling when she was still using the name, Angel Veil, and was treating all the world as she does her gynocologist. Since the gal's gone all legit on us...became a Juggie and has done some real movies... ya gotta figure the days of opening wide and saying ahh are over. No matter. Here she is in three scenes: one stripping on stage and the others stripping off.
- Rachel Sterling aka Angel Veil
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Crimson Ghost
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NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.
Today the Ghost takes a look at the lame 1985 B-movie "Cavegirl". As Tuna mentioned in his review, the plot is obsurd and the characters are annoying. But at least the nudity is pretty decent.
- Cynthia Thompson aka Cindy Ann Thompson. A beautiful girl, especially topless. Her career as B-babe was short, only 5 movies in 4 years (85-89), and this was her biggest, and only starring role.
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- Cynthia Thompson (zipped .wmvs)
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- Michelle Bauer and a few other babes get topless, strip down to just panties, then chase a dude around the girl's locker room. Plenty of bouncing in the video cips.
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- Michelle Bauer and Friends (zipped .wmvs)
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Johnny Moronic
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Johnny Moronic takes a look at the comedy "Who's Your Daddy?". No nudity here, but several big name babes show plenty of cleavage and some near-nudity.
- Patsy Kensit, the Brit actress best known from "Lethal Weapon 2" and as the ex-wife of several UK musicians. Here she shows off some of her robo-cleavage.
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- Ali Landry, the former Miss USA (1996) and Doritos babe. We she bikini cleavage in links 1,2 and 7. Taking a bubble bath in links 4 and 5. In link #6 we see her wearing only strategically placed suds.
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- Marne (Marnette) Patterson. This former child actress has grown up very nicely. In fact she's on my list of babes I'd most like to see nekkid. Best of all, it's no longer creepy to say that since she's 24! In #1 she uses well placed hair to cover her breasts in a love scene. #2 is my favorite...just click the link and you'll understand.
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Variety
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Lydie Denier |
Scorpion 'caps of the French model turned actress baring breasts and bum (and doing some mild lesbo lovin') in scenes from an episode of "Red Shoe Diaries".
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Tiziana Lodato
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Señor Skin 'caps of the Italian beauty baring all in scenes from her first movie, "L' Uomo delle stelle" aka "The Star Maker" (1995).
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Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
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Pat's comments in yellow...
ARTIST MAKES ART WITH MEAT
Meat Cute - Artist Alejandra Prieto of Santiago, Chili, has an exhibit at
Catholic University of works made entirely of meat. It includes a chair
made of raw meat and a "Little Red Riding Hood" scene in which a wolf with
bacon ears hides under a blanket of ham. Prieto told Las Ultimas Noticias,
"I think meat has many meanings. It has a strong image. Many people
complain about my work. They say it is disgusting and vegetarians are
certainly not happy, but there are many others who like it."
Mostly Atkins dieters.
Some people like it at first, but a week later, they say it stinks.
PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO LIVE TO 120
I'd Die Before I Wear Platform Shoes! - A survey of 1,000 Britons found
that 52 percent don't want to live to 120 if genetic science make it
possible. They'd rather have a full, active life and die at 80. Of those
who would live to 120, 40 percent said the best part would be celebrating
their 100th wedding anniversary, while 20 percent said it would be
outliving their enemies. Eleven percent said they'd use the extra time to
have more sex. Asked the worst thing about living to 120, the top answers
were watching all those annual Eurovision song contests, the fear they
wouldn't be able to blow out their birthday candles, and seeing platform
shoes make a comeback.
If they try to wear platform shoes at 120, they won't live to see 121.
Old people need platform shoes: they get shorter and shorter.
The worst part will be living through all the upcoming "Friends" reunion
specials.
No, the worst part would be eating British food for 120 years.
PLAYBOY FEATURES NUDE RAELIANS
38 Is Her Bust Size - Always covering new frontiers, Playboy is featuring
three nude members of the Raelian religion, the cult that promotes cloning
and believes aliens populated the Earth. One, Shizue Koneko, is especially
proud that she's 38, much older than the typical Playboy model, and says
the Raelian philosophy of sexual freedom and "love through action" helps
her keep her youthful figure.
In Playboy, a 38-year-old model is almost alien!
Hef just wishes she'd cloned herself, oh, about 18 years ago.
The Playboy Philosophy is "Never mind love, just get a lot of action."
Playboy also favors cloning, since it will provide an endless supply of
naked triplets.
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