Saturday

Tuna
"Gas Food Lodging"

Gas Food Lodging (1992) is about three women living in a small New Mexico town, a single mother, and her two teenage daughters. Mom works at a greasy spoon, Ione Skye specializes in ditching High School, and little sister Fairuza Balk, who narrates the story, is kind of a solid citizen, addicted to Spanish matinee films, and who wishes they had a real family with a father. All three characters are believable, and all three do and say things that normal people say. Mom, Brooke Adams, is a little bitter, and down on Skye, knowing what trouble she is letting herself in for.

The first time I watched this, I can of enjoyed it, as I liked all three main characters, and some of the supporting characters as well, but that wasn't enough to sustain a second watching. Knowing the whole story left me with a slow moving character based drama. Ione Skye shows breasts in a sex scene in very odd light. IMDB readers have this at 6.4 of 10. In won several minor awards, and critics are 100% positive at IMDB. It is worth a rental, but one watch is enough. C.

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  • Ionw Skye (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

    • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Behind Bedroom Doors (2003)

    Behind Bedroom Doors is a straight-to-vid softcore sex film starring Brooke LaVelle.

    If that means something to you, I'm really impressed with your depth of knowledge on this subject, because IMDb doesn't list this film or the star.

    The IMDb does recognize some of the other stars. The second female lead is a woman named Nicole Sheridan, and she's been in many, many wonderful movies. In fact, she has made 36 movies in the past three years. On the other hand,  I don't suppose her movie career path has ever intersected that of Tom Hanks. Here are some of her credits:

    1. Deep Throat This (2002) (V)
    2. Beauty & the Bitch (2001) (V)
    3. Fast Times at Deep Crack High 2 (2001) (V)
    4. Hand Job Hunnies 2 (2000) (V)
    5. Stop! My Ass Is On Fire! 5 (2000) (V)
    6. Backseat Driver 13 (2000) (V)
       

    I just noticed that Tom Hanks was in Stop! My Ass Is On Fire! 3 and 4, but his character died in number four, presumably of severe burns, so Nicole joined the series just a hair too late to meet him.

    Hey, Tommy, heh, heh, just kidding, old man.

    I can't really recommend this film to you, even if you are into softcore sex films. It is a weak one by that standard. The plot isn't all that bad, but I'm going to guess that you genre lovers don't rent these for the plot. Here are the reasons why it is not recommended:

    1) Not a very crisp, sharp picture.

    2) Almost no nudity other than breasts. Only very brief glances at pubes and buns. Julia Kruis is the only one of the four female stars who did a sexy frontal.

    3) Passionless sex poorly performed.

    4) The women appear naked for an amount of screen time inversely proportionate to their appeal. The unknown star, Brooke Lavelle, who is on screen constantly, is not especially pretty and does not have an especially good body. The second actress is the porn star, Miss Sheridan, she of the perfect store-bought boobs. The other two women, Julia Kruis and relative newcomer Monique Alexander are much sexier, but don't have much screen time. Kruis looked great in her brief appearance, and did the sexiest scene as well, but she spent most of the movie with her clothes on.

     

    OTHER BABES:

    • Courtney Love topless, two pics I haven't seen before. (1, 2)
    • Three Sabrina Setlur photos (Boris Becker's girlfriend), from Blackshine (1, 2, 3)
    • A new look at a classic Naomi Campbell, this time from Blackshine
    • I don't know what 45 year old Sharon Stone does to keep her breasts looking so great, but they look so good that she is able to walk around virtually topless at the premiere for Mike Figgis's Cold Creek Manor. (1, 2, 3)
    • Kate Beckinsale may or may not be showing some flesh in these pictures. Probably not, but she looks mah-vel-ous at the Underworld premiere (1, 2, 3)
    • Francine Dee from the uncensored version of 50 Cent's "P.I.M.P." video.

     

    MAILBOX:

    Dear Scoops

    I was wondering whether any of your readers can help me out with something- I'm trying to find a reliable online store which ships internationally (I'm in the UK) and that can supply some of the more obscure euro-titles, like Finnish and Swedish DVDs (e.g. Levottomat, or The Discovery of Heaven which was capped on the site recently). Any help much appreciated! Many thanks

    Rhombus

    NOTE: send info to me, and I'll forward it to Rhombus and publish it here.

     

     

    OTHER CRAP:

     

    Other crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap

     

     

    MOVIE REVIEWS:

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Graphic Response
    • Susie Porter topless and almost full frontal (a hint of pubes) in scenes from "Better Than Sex" (2000). Most folks probably recognize her from 'caps of her lesbian love scenes with Kelly McGillis in "The Monkey's Mask".

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

    Flautista de hamelin
    Dominique Swain
    (1, 2, 3)

    		The child star of "Lolita" (1997) and "Face/Off" (1997) all grown up and topless in a lesbian scene from "New Best Friend" (2002).

    Amma Asante
    (1, 2, 3)

    		Full frontal and full dorsal nudity in scenes from "The Best of Friends".

    Karen King
    and
    Lisa Lewis


    		Scenes from the dark comedy/action-drama about the lives of used car salesmen, "Suckers" (1999). Scoop put it best in his review..."Suckers is actually two completely different movies fused together. Imagine Used Cars and True Romance combined into one movie."

    Naturally with such an odd mix of genres, some of it works, and some of it doesn't. Click here for Scoop's full review.

    King shows all three B's and Lewis shows off and impressive chest in their assorted love sex scenes.

    Oddly enough, it was written and directed by the same guy that did the hit documentary about Star Trek fans "Trekkies". By the way Trek fans, there is currently a "Trekkies 2" in post-production!


    Dann
    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    "Around the Fire"
    Coming of age movies are a dime a dozen. Wish I could say this 1999 attempt was exceptional, but it isn't.

    The movie follows a young man through drug use, hippy friends, and all the other cliches, and while it features some real fine acting, the movie itself is just too hackneyed and predictable to be good.

    Tara Reid looks good, though, and the painted flower lady was interesting, to say the least. :-)

    Variety
    Nikki Cox
    (1, 2, 3)

    		Cox shows off cleavage and curves in bikini 'caps by DeadLamb from "Run Ronnie Run".

    Kim Cattrall Another episode, another nude scene. Cattrall doing her usual topless thing on "Sex and the City".

    Rhonda Shear The B-movie babe and former host of the USA series "Up All Night" goes topless in a sex scene from the 80's T and A film "Basic Training". Shear's look in this movie is much more natural, and a departure from the busty blonde look she is famous for.

    Anna Mouglalis
    (1, 2)

    		'Caps by LC of the French actress baring breasts, bum and bush in scenes from "Novo" (2002).

    Natasha Henstridge
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

    		Breasts and brief bum views in scenes from "Maximum Risk" (1996)...one of the 83 movies Van Damme made in which he plays his own twin. But don't think badly of Henstridge. At the time Van Damme was still getting theatrical release and this was only her second movie. By the way, if you are a Henstridge fan and haven't seen her syndicated series "She Spies" you are missing out on a very fun, toungue firmly in cheek, guilty pleasure! Thanks to the Skin-man for these 'caps of the Canadian mega-babe.

    Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    HURRICANE ISABEL BRINGS A MIGHTY WIND
    May The Heaviest Reporter Win - Hurricane Isabel slammed into the East Coast with winds over 100 mph. But there was one lighter note to the storm: it sparked a bizarre transatlantic contest between two 24-hour TV news channels as to which nation's weathermen could stand out in the highest wind. In London, Sky News reporter David Bowden went into a wind tunnel to demonstrate the force. He was blown off his feet in 65 mph wind, but kept reporting to 100 mph. But then, Bowden was told an American Fox News reporter endured 110 mph winds in a wind tunnel, so he went back in for British pride and reported in a 110 mph wind.

  • They had to stick their toupees on with Super Glue.
  • Isn't TV news windy enough as it is?
  • How about a contest where the winner is the first person to explain WHY reporters have to stand out in a hurricane?
  • Of course, the reporters who endure the most wind are Washington correspondents.


    Fairly Unbalanced - One reporter for Fox News was standing out in the hurricane when the high wing began blowing his pants off.

  • This being Fox, he was immediately replaced with a really hot woman whose pants could be blown off.


    The Art Of Persuasion - In Virginia Beach, Virginia, people who refused to evacuate were given waterproof markers by the police and told to write their names and Social Security numbers on their arms so their bodies could be identified later.

  • And then, they suddenly decided to evacuate.
  • They survived the hurricane, but now they have to worry about identity theft whenever they wear short sleeves.


    MAN RUNS UNOPPOSED, GETS ZERO VOTES
    They All Blithely Forgot To Vote - Carl Miner of Blytheville, Arkansas, got a painful lesson in the importance of voting. He was on Tuesday's ballot, running unopposed for school board, and he still lost when he didn't get a single vote. He's the first county candidate ever to get zero votes. Miner said he tried to vote for himself, but the polls were closed when he got there.

  • He was running late because he'd been attending his victory party.
  • The poor guy didn't even have a dangling chad.
  • This is what happens when you schedule an Arkansas school board election on the same day as Wrestlemania.


    FORBES LISTS 400 RICHEST AMERICANS
    The Rich Get Richer, And Other Non-News - Forbes issued its annual list of the 400 richest Americans, and thanks to the rising stock market, they are getting richer again. After two years of declines, their total net worth rose 10 percent since 2002 to $955 billion. As usual, #1 was Bill Gates, whose fortune rose $3 billion to $46 billion.

  • Finally, he can afford the name brand spaghetti sauce again instead of the house brand!
  • He has this radical idea that you don't sell your stock when it's down.
  • All five of the late Sam Walton's kids are on the list...They got richer because the rest of us were so poor, we had to buy everything at Wal-Mart.
  • Proof that Bush's economic plan is working perfectly!


    QUOTE OF THE DAY!
    From embattled California Gov. Gray Davis:

    "My vision is to make the most diverse state on earth, and we have people from every planet on the earth in this state" No argument from me...And what planet might Gray Davis be from?

    • From the Mail Bag
    Just got word that our good friend Brainscan recently lost a battle with an über-sized SUV that left him with a broken arm, a few shattered ribs and a punctured lung. Depsite all that, he's currently at the 'puter working on a new batch of 'caps. We salute you Brainscan! You are a real trooper!

    Now go get one of those lawyers from TV that "wants to fight for you" and get a big fat settlement! We wish you a speedy recovery!