Les Blessures assassines (2000), or Murderous Maids, is another French telling of one of the more horrible murders of the last century. Sisters Léa Papin and Christine Papin (Julie-Marie Parmentier and Sylvie Testud respectively) murdered their employer and her daughter when the two discovered their lesbian relationship. If this sounds familiar, it is because we saw the same story as Sister My Sister. This version has better production values, and traces the early history of the girls. On the other hand, it is so evenly presented and slow paced, that you don't end up investing any emotion in the story at all. The outside locations were perfect, and both lead actresses did a good job, but the screenplay was written such that the audience is never drawn in.

Sylvie Testud shows breasts and buns, and Léa Papin shows everything, including a long, well lit full frontal. IMDB readers have this at 6.9 of 10, and it won acting awards for both stars. Any story retelling a well-known incident from real life is stuck adhering to the facts, so some of what is wrong with this film was unavoidable. It scored well with the critics, and has a 93% positive overall, and 100% positive from the top guys. It would be hard to criticize this film without comparing it to Sister My Sister, and such comparisons are never fair. Judged on its own, it is a well made film, but one that is more of a history lesson than an emotional experience. C.

UPDATES:

• Updated volumes: Romane Bohringer, Vanessa Redgrave, Charlotte Rampling, Sheeri Rappaport, Kira Reed, Tara Reid, Christina Ricci, Rena Riffel, Tanya Roberts, Rebecca Romijn, Debbie Rochon, Regina Russell, Theresa Russell, Lina Romay, Candice Rialson, Joely Richardson, Miranda Richardson, Winona Ryder, Katharine Ross, Rachel Roberts, Sydne Rome
   

MAILBOX:

Uncle Scoopy-

Brooke LaVelle in today's Funhouse is aka Brooke Larele from Embrace the  Darkness 3, capped by lil ol me in the 04-30-03 issue.  Heaven only knows what her last name will be in the next Oscar winning performance. Your caps were primo.

Brainscan
 

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Hello,

For Finnish films it's difficult to find an online store that ships internationally. Maybe this will change when more titles come available, maybe not. For now the only online store that I know is www.filmifriikki.fi (shipping to Europe, not sure about other areas) and their site is mostly in Finnish too so ordering can be tricky... But by sending them email things have worked out before. You will find contact details under the title Yritysinfo on top of the page. See also http://www.kotimaisetdvdelokuvat.cjb.net/ for Finnish titles available on DVD (the column on the left).

Regards,
-RoSSol

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SCOOP's note: although Honte is no longer an active capper, you can still reach him at honte@honte.net, and he should be a good resource for information on Swedish material, maybe the neighboring countries as well.

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Dear Scoopy:

A recent letter to your Mailbox has cut me to the quick...

A member wrote: "Celebrity Sleuth has some pictures of Zora from Joe Millionaire showing her tush from some calendar. They look fake but they're apparently real."

Part of your response was: "These pictures can't be the July cheesecake pic from the calendar...with no nudity."  Well, just in case your Fun House members have forgotten, Sleuth don't do "fake." I bought the pics directly from the female photographer who took them, Boz Swope...who shot Zora on two separate occasions. In fact, Boz told me that she had "a time time getting Zora to keep enough clothes on"...since the calendar wasn't allowed to show any nudity. Things, however, kept slipping out or showing up that clearly couldn't be used. I selected the quartet we ran from a sheet of 20 ORIGINAL SLIDES that were "outtakes" from the calendar shoot (since they "showed too much skin"}. These were the most revealing...

I can assure you and everyone else that they are not "fake" or doctored in any way.

Best,
Sleuth
 

Scoop's note: Never doubted it for a second. Find the original exchange here.

OTHER CRAP:

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• "Welcome to House O'Chicks Home of the Wondrous Vulva Puppet"

• Cast announced for The Usual Suspects 2. Or not. Which one of these guys is Benicio del Toro?

• Dennis Miller on the North Korean Nuclear Testing Business: "If the North Koreans are serious about this test, and I don’t sense they’re the masters of the practical joke, I think we have to test one of ours first."

• The 10 greatest publicity stunts in pop music history.

• WARNING: beware of false e-mail letters from E-bay. This is a prevalent scam now circulating on the internet.

• WARNING - avoid the Swen worm. And, needless to say, don't ever click on an .exe file unless you know exactly what the hell it does.

• The 20 Top Online Cyber-Pickup Lines

• There's a somber mood at the telemarketers convention, since they can no longer call anyone. I'll bet your hearts are just bleedin' for them, eh?

• MovieWeb - Underworld. Some nice pics of Kate Beckinsale in her tight costume

• 90 Recall Candidates to Appear on Leno.

• Freethought Debate - Yahweh had a wife? Archeologists compare the hard evidence to the Old Testament. Pretty interesting.

• A blind musher will be allowed to compete in the 2004 Iditarod Dog Sled Race, presumably using seeing-eye dogs.

• Robert Duvall finally gets a star on the Walk of Fame. Just a few weeks after David Spade.

• Bobby Riggs lost to Billie Jean King 30 years ago today, in the Battle of the Sexes. (Bobby was the boy, Billie the girl, in case you're too young to remember them.)

• Zogby Polls: "Do you think President Bush deserves to be re-elected or do you think it is time for someone new? " The "someone new" response has increased 14 points in just the past three months, after holding fairly steady for a long time.

• Women who have cosmetic breast enhancement surgery may have triple the risk of suicide compared to other women. The article is headlined, misleadingly, "Breast Implants Increase Suicide Risk", which is an incredibly dense conclusion for a science site. I am no advocate for implants, but obviously, there is no cause/effect relationship proven. A more likely conclusion would be "women who would like breast implants are three OR MORE times more likely to commit suicide than women who would not consider the operation" - and that would be true whether they actually get the implants or not. Both a desire for breast implants and suicide reflect a dissatisfaction with their existing life. In fact, you might argue that the breast implants may actually make it less likely that those women will commit suicide, to the extent that their self-image is improved.

• What is the largest living thing on earth? Did you guess the blue whale? Kathy Bates? Wrong.

• Old Hitler Article Stirs Debate: "A fawning 1938 article by Homes & Gardens magazine about Hitler's Bavarian mountain retreat remains widely available on the Web, even after the discoverer and original poster of the article took it off his site when the magazine demanded its removal. The article depicts Hitler in glowing terms, such as the "Squire of Wachenfeld," and extols him as a talented architect, decorator and raconteur who "delights in the society of brilliant foreigners, especially painters, singers, and musicians."

• Adolf Hitler and Real History - here is the complete original article

• Ain't It Cool News - says: "rumors have it that Kevin Costner is about to make a musical-movie about... FIDEL CASTRO! "  Down in Cuba there's a man, and Fidel is his name-o. F-I-D-E-L, and Fidel is his name-o.

• E-Bay's privacy policy is controversial: "One fax to eBay from a lawman - police investigator, NSA, FBI or CIA employee, National Park ranger - and eBay sends back the user's full name, email address, home address, mailing address, home telephone number, name of company where seller is employed and user nickname. What's more, eBay will send the history of items he has browsed, feedbacks received, bids he has made, prices he has paid, and even messages sent in the site's various discussion groups."

• BRIT'S A WEE BIT CHEEKY. Mouseketeers peeing in public? It doesn't strike me that Brit is trying to be the Annette of her generation. She's less like Mickey Mouse, and more like Mickey Rourke.

• A PHOTOGRAPHER claimed yesterday he was furiously abused by Paul McCartney then dragged away by 'minders'."

• The Atlanta Falcon cheerleaders

• You don't think Africa has enough problems yet? - Look up, in the tree, it's a crocodile!

• The Oracle at Bacon is now The Oracle at Terminator. Calculate the Arnold Number for any actor or actress. I found out that Anson "Potsie" Williams cannot be linked to either Arnold or Kevin Bacon.

• a tribute to Buck Rogers babe Erin Gray

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• Slideshow: see the richest men in the world when they were young dorks.

• Tina Marie Jordan, Playmate of March 2002, Free Nude Gallery Courtesy of PlayboyPlus.com!

   

Other crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Yes there are deleted scenes...but they were primarily scenes that deserved to be deleted.

Yes, there was a short collection of outtakes...but they were not funny. (although there was some extended nudity by some unknowns)

Other "features" included original theatrical trailers, and assorted lanugage options, but no commentary or worth while previously unseen footage. All in all, nothing deserving the 'special' title.

Now back to the movie....
A quick recap: The movie is a collection of skits that mostly poke fun of movies and television. There are a few skits that are "real life" bits, but those aren't as clever as the movie/tv parodies. For the most part, the skits are presented to the audience as if we are watching TV and channel surfing.

Although some of the sketches are now a little out of date, there are still some parts of this movie that always crack me up, even after 16 years and dozens of viewings. In particular...the "Bullshit or Not" sketch offering the theory that 'Jack the Ripper was actually the Loch Ness Monster' (1, 2), and of course the funniest parts of the movie...every time we see my hero, Don "No Soul" Simmons!

Another fun reason to watch this...a whole mess of celebs are in this flick. At the time of filming, some were kinda famous, some were old classics, and some would become really big later on in their careers.

Here's a list of some of the stars of the movie:

TomKru goes all out and deliver's FULL coverage of Italian babe Deborah Caprioglio 's nudity in the Tinto Brass movie "Paprika" (1989). How full? Well this is only HALF of the 'caps!

We see breasts, bums, bush, close ups, gyno-views...everything from pretty much every angle!

• Thumbnail Previews (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

• Deborah Caprioglio (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50)

Tamie Sheffield
(1, 2, 3, 4)

Ruben can currently be seen in theaters in "Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star". Sheffield has done a couple of other B-movies like "Cheerleader Massacre" and can also be seen on the big screen in the new George Clooney movie "Intolerable Cruelty".

By the way, both of these ladies have something in common...they both did guest spots on one of my favorite TV shows, "Son of the Beach".