Wednesday

Tuna
"Demonlover"

Demonlover (2003) Sepcial Edition Director's Cut is being released in a two DVD set. This I what I said the first time I watched it'

"Demonlover (2003) is a landmark film. It is so pretentious and unintelligible that even the French thought it was too arty, booing it at Cannes. Most complain that it is nearly impossible to follow this film in any detail, and advise that the viewer not try. Scoopy outlined the main plot in his review, but admitted that he was not real sure of what side some of the minor characters were on. The film was partly in French, English and Japanese. Two people would be speaking alone to each other in French, then switch to English for no apparent reason. Many scenes were overly dark, especially action scenes, further adding to the confusion.

"The filmmaker had no idea where the story would go when he started the film, and I submit that he still doesn't have an idea where the story goes. The first several scenes were coherent, if overly long, then the film degraded into nonsense and confusion. Connie Nielson does show breasts and buns. It is hard to express how much I disliked this film. At no time did it capture my interest. It is only 5 hours since I finished it, and I don't remember how it ends. I guess there are some advantages to getting older. This is a very low C-."

The special edition didn't change my opinion at all, and there was no additional nudity. The special features included a lengthy interview at some college with the writer/director, and he admitted that he did know what he was trying to make when he started. He even acknowledged that he doesn't understand it even now. His aim was to make an artsy film with youth appeal, as most young French filmgoers love mainstream Hollywood stuff. A young female student actually gave a coherent plot summary. She said it was about a woman in the sex exploitation industry that became herself exploited. In that light, the ending actually makes sense. It is still, however, a nauseatingly bad and hard to follow film. Frankly, the interview was as artsy and pretentious as the film. I think my C- was a little generous in retrospect, and am lowering it to D. A little character development and plot structure would have helped, but not enough. The brief breast exposure from Connie Nielson is not worth the rental price.

  • Connie Nielson (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
    Other Crap:

    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

     

     

    MOVIE REVIEWS:

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

     

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Shiloh

    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

    NOTE: because of a unique combination of circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a picture. When you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.

    I know this is not especially convenient, but it allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips altogether.

     

    More from "Entourage"

    This time the nudity is supplied by Beau Garrett, showing off a beau rumpus.

     

    That Lolita chick

    Dominique Swain hasn't really delivered much screen nudiy, but she surrendered her breast to the camera for this lesbotronic sex scene with Mia Kirshner in New Best Friend..

     

    40 Days and 40 Nights

    That Josh Hartnett is one lucky dude, getting to do this scene with sexy Emmanuelle Vaugier in 40 Days and 40 Nights (It's about a guy who gives up sex for Lent)

     

    One more from Scoop ...

    This one is not Shiloh's, but you guys know how I love Liv Tyler, so how could I pass her up in a Bertolucci movie? Bertolucci is one of my favorite directors and this is one of his warmest, most accessible films. 

    • Liv  (.wmv zipped). Her beauty, of course, is in her angelic face and not her body, but how can you resist a scene where she just sits there in the sunlight with a boob hanging out?

     

    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
     
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

    Brainscan
    'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

    Psycho Cop Returns, aka Psycho Cop 2 (1993) is a movie looking for a genre. The story of a vengeful cop set loose in a high-rise office building at night, peopled by child-like employees without adult supervision (picture the Bush White House), PC2 is full of ridiculous situations. None of them is funny. And it is full of folks getting sent to their graves by unusual means. None of them is scary. And it has a demonic figure acting as a cop. He's not funny or scary. An 0-fer-3, that's this movie.

    As Beavis would say after watching Psycho Cop Returns, "This sucks like nothing has ever sucked before." And he would be right-- not that it is any worse than Hitcher in the Dark, for example. How could anything BE worse than that? It's just that PC2 sucks in ways unique to a shop-worn, hackneyed, oft-done movie with all the usual conventions, but without the defining push to make it fish or fowl. Instead, it is just plain foul.

    It has this one extended scene, however: a scene of near perfection. The office studs have hired three strippers to come and do their jobs on site. Strippers who make house calls. The three are played by: 1) Julie Strain, in one of her early roles; 2) Melanie Good, a B-movie actress whose legs are even longer than Julie's and whose hooters are larger and much more natural than Julie's; 3) one-timer, Priscilla Huckleberry, with a body to rivals to Melanie's. All three show off boobs and bum, although Julie has the nips mostly covered by star-shaped pasties (WTF?! Julie Strain covering up her breasts? A sight never before seen by human eyes... but wait a week and you will).

    Priscilla Huckleberry is my fave. She is on screen the longest, she is fair of face and fantastic of form, but this was her only movie. So I have a plan. We'll bring her back in an all-girl remake of Tombstone. And Priscilla will play the Val Kilmer/Doc Holliday role. And, and.. when Johnny Ringo... make that Joanie Ringo... goes spoiling for a fight and asks who is woman enough to fight her, we'll have Priscilla stand up and say, "I'm your...." Naw, it wouldn't work.

    Three other women sorta show some goodies. Kimberly Speiss gets caught bare-assed boffing in the copier room (okay, the movie was made in the Clinton White House), while Brittany Ashland and Cara Lee Froten play "actresses" in a porno loop the boys are watching when the strippers arrive. Most of their exposure...the double B's again... is seen in short clips as the credits role.

    So I'm sorta glad I watched this movie and perhaps it should be required viewing of all who desire to make either slashers or comedies. Nothing like an abject failure to teach us what to avoid.

    Crimson Ghost
    NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.


    Today the Ghost takes a look at the 1995 Skinemax flick "Sorceress". Directed by Jim Wynorski and starring Julie Strain.

    • Big Julie is topless in a couple of scenes. (1, 2, 3, 4)
    • Julie Strain zipped .wmvs. #1 features her rubbing oil all over herself. In #3 she's riding a dude. In #4, Strain and the dude are joined by Toni Naples. (1, 2, 3, 4)

    • Kristi Ducati, the co-star of both "Bikini Carwash Company" movies in a shower scene. (1, 2, 3)
    • Kristi Ducati zipped .wmvs. #1 has some brief rear nudity and pube views. (1, 2)

    • Rochelle Swanson. In 'caps 1 and 2 she's blonde and nekkid in a love scene. In the others she's brunette and topless. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
    • Rochelle Swanson zipped .wmvs. Links 1 and 2 are the blonde love scene. (1, 2, 3, 4)

    • Toni Naples topless.
    • Toni Naples (zipped .wmv), topless in a different scene.

    • Julie Strain, Rochelle Swanson and Toni Naples in a 3-way lesbo scene. (1, 2, 3, 4)
    • Julie Strain, Rochelle Swanson and Toni Naples zipped .wmvs (1, 2, 3)

    Oz
    'Caps and comments by Oz:

    "Carrie"
    This is the 2002 Carrie remake. The story is slightly different and there's a lot less nudity. Angela Bettis is Carrie and, although naked, everything is hidden. The same goes for the rest of the cast. Emilie de Ravin, Katherine Isabelle and Chelan Simmons are the bitches. Michaela Mann is the next door neighbour who sunbakes topless.


    "Next Stop, Greenwich Village"
    Ellen Greene goes topless in Next Stop, Greenwich Village.

    • Ellen Greene (1, 2, 3)


    "Women Film Desire"
    Women Film Desire is a documentary about how female directors have filmed the sex in movies, There are snatches from a variety of films, which means there's probably a lot of nudity still to cap. From the African Mossane there is Magou Seck and a woman I couldn't identify. There's a completely naked Sabine Mamou from Documenteur - An Emotion Picture. There's various degrees of nakedness in Happiness, La Cuisine Rouge and L'Opéra Mouffe. Tying the whole thing together was a naked woman with a map of the world painted on her.


    "The Seventh Sign"
    A very pregnant Demi Moore getting naked in The Seventh Sign.

    • Demi Moore (1, 2)


    "A Head for Business"
    Topless and rear views of Claire Keim in A Head for Business.

    • Claire Keim (1, 2)


    "Dead Cold"
    The main nudity in Dead Cold comes from a topless Alina Thompson. Lysette Anthony gets naked but we don't see anything.

    • Alina Thompson (1, 2)
    • Lysette Anthony (1, 2, 3)


    "Wisegirls"
    Wisegirls is a chick flick with no nudity, just lots of cleavage by Mira Sorvino and Mariah Carey.

    • Mira Sorvino (1, 2)
    • Mariah Carey (1, 2)

    Variety
    Emily Mortimer A video clip (zipped divx .avi) and comments by LC
    Scoops,
    I thought I would send this in since the full frontal nudity from "Young Adam" seemed to be missing in Tuna recent coverage. (See the September 12 Fun House update for 'caps and his review.)

    Gladys Jimenez
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)

    Señor Skin 'caps of the Puerto Rican native topless in a couple of scenes from the direct-to-vid Mario Van Peebles movie, "Blowback" (2000).

    Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    CARMEN ELECTRA IS NEW GINGER GRANT
    Just Sit Right Back... - The reality show version of the sitcom "Gilligan's Island" finally has a "movie star": the Ginger Grant role will be filled by Carmen Electra. Star People reports that Electra will fly to Mexico for two weeks to tape the show in which she and six non-famous people try to figure out how to get off an island.

  • Except now, none of the men will even TRY to get off the island.
  • Well, the guys will fantasizing about getting off...
  • They'll use her breast implants as pontoons to make a raft.


    J-LO WON'T SING WITHOUT PRODUCTION
    No Surprise - The New York Post's Page Six reports that Jennifer Lopez won't give an impromptu concert, even for husband Marc Anthony's birthday. She threw him a surprise party on their Long Island estate last week, but when urged to sing, she refused because she didn't have a band and back-up singers. Anthony ended up having to sing at his own birthday party. A witness told Page Six, "You'll never see J-Lo unplugged."

  • And you sure wouldn't be able to hear her.
  • She won't even sing in the shower unless her back-up singers are showering with her.
  • That's what she gets for throwing a party and not inviting her back-up singers.


    NOBODY NOTICES TOPLESS WOMAN IN STORE
    Put It On! - Expatica.com reports that the Innova appliance store in Berlin, Germany, held an "end of summer strip-off-prices-to-the-buff sale" and hired a model to pass out leaflets topless in the store. TV crews set up to catch customers' reactions, but to their dismay, hardly anyone noticed. Some women expressed concern that she might catch cold, and one 60-year-old man said it was nothing he hadn't seen before. One newspaper speculated that Germans are so used to nude sunbathers, topless models in tabloids and porn on TV that a wholesome-looking but topless young woman at an appliance store makes no impression.

  • Some women got excited, but only because they thought it meant women's clothes were half off.
  • The 60-year-old German man sees bigger boobs than that every time he takes off his shirt.
  • Proof that, deep down, people around the world are nothing alike.


    AK-47 VODKA
    Pop A Few Rounds - The creator of the world's most famous assault rifle, the AK-47, has a new product. Russian Lt. General Mikhail Kalashnikov is introducing "Kalashnikov Vodka." He said he always wanted to improve and expand on the good name of his gun, so he decided to create the world's best vodka under the same name. He added that the AK-47 was created to protect Russia's borders and was patriotic, simple and reliable, and it's not his fault people around the world misuse it.

  • Just like Russian vodka.
  • The vodka is just like the AK-47: too many shots and you're dead.
  • What goes together better than vodka and an AK-47?
  • If you like the AK-47 vodka, try the new Uzi ouzo.