Scarface (1983) is being released in a special 20th Anniversary edition. The special boxed set contains both the 1983 Al Pacino version, and the 1932 Paul Muni version (which has never been on DVD before. The 1983 version is remastered, and comes with a second DVD full of interviews, deleted scenes, etc. The set includes several lobby cards, and a special money clip with Pacino's logo from the film. The transfer was top notch. The deleted scenes had no new nudity, and deserved to have been deleted. Dawnell Bowers shows breasts and buns in a minor role. Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, as Pacino's sister, has an open robe scene where we see her panties, and a brief flash of her left breast. Michelle Pfeiffer, as Pacino's love interest, shows cleavage in every one of her costumes.

The story traces the rise and fall of American gangster, Tony Montoya (Al Pacino), a Cuban refugee, in the cocaine trade in Miami's Little Havana. He parlays brass balls, nerves of steel, and lust for wealth and power into being at the top of the heap in the Miami drug trade. Of course, he falls to excesses once he reaches the top and the good life. Pfeiffer, as the girlfriend of his predecessor, who moved on to him when Pacino killed the predecessor, is out for kicks and a total coke head. Pacino has an image of his sister, Mastrantonio as pure and virginal, and makes it his business to try and keep her that way.

IMDB readers have this at 7.7 of 10,, and it earned $44M against a budget of $35M. It received several nominations, including Golden Globes, and a Razzie for worst director. Critical response was favorable. The film certainly had talent on its side, with a script by Oliver Stone, and Brian de Palma's direction. The performances were very good, and the film maintained an edgy tension through the entire 2 1/2 hour running time. On the other hand, these are not nice people to spend a day with, and the character arc is rather predictable. This is a very high C+. If it is your kind of film, or you are a Pacino fan, it is a must see.

The Dancer Upstairs (2002):

The Dance Upstairs is the directorial debut of John Malkovich and while it is neither a great movie nor one that will fill the seats, it is a good movie and one which shows that Malkovich can do the job.

It's basically a political thriller in the manner of Costa-Gavras, in that it tries to show how ordinary life goes on in the midst of cataclysmic historical events, and how the small personal issues interweave with matters of global significance. Interestingly, it is also a standard cops-and-robbers movie about police procedure. How can that be? Think about it. The two co-exist in a disintegrating society. A South American country is rocked with signs of an impending revolution. Martial law is declared. Yet in the middle of all this, people do not stay huddled in their homes, as they might in a declared war. The middle class wives still assemble in their book clubs, the little girls still go to school and dance classes, people go to work, teenagers go on dates, petty thieves keep on picking pockets, corrupt cops shake down local businessmen, and the starving try to fill their bellies. Life goes on normally in many ways. One of the greatest challenges in such a situation is for the civilian police force to maintain a semblance of legal order amidst the military rule. What happens when someone's daughter is raped or someone's store is robbed? The army is not equipped to investigate crime, so the police officers must continue fulfilling their responsibilities. Of course, whenever the Army chooses to interfere, it will, but the policemen still do they best they can.

The story is a fictionalization of the capture of the infamous Guzman, the leader of The Shining Path in Peru. Javier Bardem plays a completely uncorrupt police captain who is simply tracking down a murderer with proper police procedure, consisting of hard work and analysis. He wants to arrest the man quietly and get him off the streets. The Army and El Presidente have a different view of the case. They believe that the murderer is a terrorist and a revolutionary, and want to capture him publicly for maximum political gain. Both sides are correct. In fact, Bardem's tendency to treat the investigation as a straight murder case causes him to overlook certain elements that make a revolutionary special, especially the fact that a revolutionary is a special kind of murderer, one with the support of a sizeable bloc of the population, possibly even including people very close to a police captain.

In the midst of the chaos of Martial Law, Bardem seems like an outsider. He plays a man of intellect, a man of complete restraint in his speech and facial reactions, a man completely in control of emotional reactions and body language. He is an outsider in his own culture. In fact, Bardem's loneliness is the strongest undercurrent in the film. He's an outsider wherever he goes, not just in the police force. He's an honest man in an corrupt and entrepreneurial profession, even though his last three paychecks have bounced.  He's a man of reason in a world of emotional outbursts. He's a man who settles matters through the law in a world which settles most matters with violence. He's a man who stays in his country and is consistently underappreciated, even though his wife obviously wants a nice middle-class existence in Miami. He's a deep thinker married to a beautiful, sweet, but totally superficial woman. In a cunning society in which the upper classes connive for power, he has no interest in acquiring power, even when his heroism and efficiency gives him a chance to be President. The only people he feels comfortable with are his daughter and her ballet teacher, a fact which causes him to start falling in love with the dancer, eventually causing himself even greater sadness.

Javier Bardem did a great job in this film. He is a broad, passionate, expressive, visceral actor who not only had to stifle all of that to play a man 180 degrees away from his own personality, but also had to do it in a language which he has not yet fully mastered. His credible and sympathetic performance is really a triumph of professionalism.

John Malkovich brought the exact elements to this story that you would expect. It is mature, subtle, soft-spoken, slow-moving and quietly menacing - pretty much like Malkovich himself. It also uses the photography brilliantly, to show a society with many strata, and a richly varied geography.

Although the story is too slow and subtle to appeal to mass audiences hungry for action, it may appeal to you as an elegantly composed study of a society walking a tightrope between order and chaos. I generally like political thrillers, and I often like police procedurals, so I was predisposed to be interested, and you may have to weigh that into your evaluation of what I'm saying, but I liked this movie a great deal. It builds very slowly, but the overall impact is quite moving, and I ended up staring at the credits sadly, as one sometimes does when a movie works effectively with emotions.

Recommended - as long as you remember it's a special interest film, and only for a small number of you, those who do not need every film to be a cartoon filled with broad characterizations, rapid movement, and stylized violence.

Nudity:

• Laura Morante (1, 2)
• Somebody else
   

Since I don't have a volume for Laura yet, here are six pictures of her from four other movies. (Sorry, I've lost the original file names)

• Thumbnails
• Pics (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

Miner's Massacre (2002):

Ah, the art of cinema at its finest.

Miner's Massacre is a grade-b horror film in which the ol' prospector who was killed by the townsfolk back in the 1850s has placed a curse on his lost gold. In fact, unlike most ol' prospectors, he is an immortal who defends his gold personally. If anyone tries to remove any of it from his lost mine, his ghost comes after them with a big ol' pickaxe implanted into one of his arms. In other words, it's basically that fisherman dude from I Know What You Did Last Summer, except with a pickaxe instead of a fishing gaff, a duster instead of a raincoat, and and an ol' prospector hat instead of a Gloucester.

A bunch of young city people head out to a remote are in search of ....

Oh, wait, you know that part?

Then they have sex, and the ones who get laid are killed by ...

What's that you say? You're heard that one?

Then some of them get really greedy for the god, and the greediest ones die a horrible ...

You know that too?

Well, here's one you don't know. The two nice kids get away because they throw away the last of the gold, and the Ol' Prospector stops chasing them and returns to his grave, consarn it. But then the cop who finds them goes back to the mine to check for clues, finds the purse with some of the miner's gold in it, says "hey, didn't you kids lose this ....?" He walks toward them, thus starting to remove the gold from the mine ...

And I'll bet you'll never guess what happens last.

Nudity:

• Elina Madison

Here are two of Elina's other nekkid screen appearances:

• The Mummy's Kiss
• Shame, Shame, Shame

OTHER Babe Stuff:

• This is just a picture from yesterday. I wanted to present it again to make sure you guys know what it is. Molly Sims is topless in this picture - on an NBC broadcast TV show. I'm not sure if anyone noticed, and I doubt if the censor did. Look at the window behind her.
• Pics of superdupermodel Mini Anden and Missy Rayder photographed by Peter Lindbergh
• Here's one more of Anden and Rayder together
• Filipina star Patricia Javier in "Asin at paminta"
• Paparazzi shot of Anna Falchi's monstrous store-bought assets.

UPDATES:

• Charlie's French Cinema Nudity Site is updated. This week's highlights: full frontal nudity from Isabelle Huppert in her 1981 prime and gyno nudity from Laurence Fremont in "L'ombre des fleurs"

OTHER CRAP:

• More runway nudity. The thumbnails on the right also lead to topless pics, even though the appearance of the thumbnails is misleading.

• Final Vote Results for Roll Call 521 on the no-call list. The Senate vote was 95-0 in favor, the house voted 412-8. Here are the names of the Evil Eight. If they are your representatives, please inform their potential opponents of this vote, and please send these eight people to the prosperous future they deserve - working the drive-through window.

• Here are the phone numbers of the eight congressmen who voted No on the no-call list. I guess they would be interested if you'd like to sell them your old golf clubs, because I have a feeling they will be needing them.

• Talk show host Tucker Carlson's correct home phone number is 703-519-6456, and he also welcomes your unsolicited commercial offers.

• Here is the contact info for the latest judge to rule against the no-call list

• Here is another contact number for Judge Nottingham, the latest guy who overruled the do-not-call list.

• Carlos Delgado hits four homers in a single game

• 300 words that will get US Government agencies looking at your web page

•  

• See the two new moons around Uranus. Uranus is filled with gas.

• Boston Red Sox make the post-season!

• The Weekly World News claims to have found the world's most-wanted terrorist. Osama bin Laden - perhaps embarrassed by his habitual bed-wetting, or seeking a scenic backdrop for his new reality show - is occupying a love nest in Alaska with an Eskimo bride

• Here's that photo of bin Laden hiding out in Alaska Best Weekly World News article EVER! Get this: "Osama will never be captured because he spends all his time on the move, mushing his huskies, ice fishing and rubbing noses with his new bride. That noble titan of the tundra, that sheikh of the sheet ice, he doesn't want to be a terrorist no more".

• Brian Urlacher - the Colin Farrell of football

• This week's Sports Illustrated on Campus has been banned from Brigham Young University

• Board Meeting at 4; Nudity Required "imagine this: You, your boss, and a whole bunch of your colleagues stripping naked, sweating, and beating the tar out of yourselves with tree branches. Wouldn't that be hell? Actually, that would be Finland,"

• Long-Eared Dog Makes It Into Guinness Book Of Records

• Minnesota Vikings Cheerleaders Disappointingly, only three "Heathers" and one Brandi, which could result in their suspension from the league, unless Brandi dots her i with a little heart.

• Willy's World of Male Masturbation Euphemisms!

• vote for the Stuff cover girl

• a new generation of electronic paper may soon be able to bring a moving image to a foldable screen near you

• The Boob Aerobics class means that there are now alternative ways for a girl to get the bust of her dreams. I want a local franchise.

• That '70s Show - Episode Guide

• The Problem With Music - if there is a million dollars in profit from an album, who gets it all? Go to the bottom table on the page for a shocking breakdown on one album

• A proposed regulation to kill 'lap dancing' threatens to close all of Connecticut's strip clubs

• Infinium Labs' Executive Seen on Survivor: "As if there wasn't enough controversy already surrounding Infinium Labs and its upcoming Phantom console, now the company's chief marketing officer, Burton Roberts, appeared as one of the castaways last night on the debut of CBS' Survivor: Pearl Islands."

• Nude pictures of Amber Frey, the massage therapist who is a key witness in the Scott Peterson Case, have been posted on the internet. As I write this, they are available only at a pay site located at www.schmidtysworld.com, but their wider appearance is inevitable.

• New York Post Online Edition squarely places the blame for porn entering the mainstream:: "If you must, blame it on Dennis Franz."

• Li'l Kim is the latest diva with eccentric backstage demands. I notice she also demanded a bikini top several sizes too small, as usual.

• Inga Drozdova, Playmate of November 1997, Free Nude Gallery Courtesy of PlayboyPlus.com!

Other crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Linnea Quigley
(1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

ARNOLD SURVIVES DEBATE
The Real Winner: Gray Davis - Arnold Schwarzenegger participated in his first California gubernatorial debate last night. Several polls named him the winner, at least on style. Indeed, the moderator at one point slipped, called him "Governor Schwarzenegger," then joked, "I'm going to have to lower my meds." Arianna Huffington earned bad reviews and low poll numbers for talking over the other candidates and making personal attacks. At one point, offered a chance to rebut a low blow, Arnold retorted, "I have a perfect part for you in 'Terminator 4.'"