Eureka (1983) is a Nicolas Roeg film starring his wife, Theresa Russell, Gene Hackman and Rutger Hauer, with the likes of Mickey Rourke and Joe Pesci in the supporting cast. It is nearly three separate films. Act one is a surreal presentation of Hackman's character literally falling into a mountain of gold, and becoming the richest man in the world. This very strange segment includes his interaction with a tubercular hooker fortune teller, and a mystic experience with some wolves, lightning, and a magic rock.

Act two has Hackman rich and bored on his own Caribbean island during WW II. He is married to an alcoholic woman who reads tarot cards, and his daughter, Russell, is married to Rutger Hauer, a Frenchman whom Hackman believes is after her money. Hauer, we learn near the end of the act, is into voodoo. Rourke is the spokesman for Miami Mafia types who intend to buy Hackman's island, with or without his cooperation.

Act three becomes a courtroom drama, with Hauer accused of murdering Hackman. Roeg gets his wife, Russell, naked nearly every time she is on screen, and we see all three Bs several times. Several women also show breasts in a lengthy voodoo orgy scene. IMDB readers have this at 5.5 of 10. Edinburgh U Film Society calls it a masterpiece, but admits that act three is terrible. The script was based on a book written by a lawyer and was based on a real case. The court case took up most of the book. The film does have the magnificent visuals that we associate with Roeg (Walkabout, Dr. Zhivago), and also the epic length, at 130 minutes. It seems to be making some kind of statement about desire, wealth and happiness, but I am not sure what the statement was. I found it a very tedious watch, but your mileage may vary. C.

Scoop's Note:
Nick Roeg was originally hired to be a second unit photographer in Dr Zhivago, based on some second unit footage he had shot for director David Lean's earlier film, Lawrence of Arabia.

Lean fired Roeg from Zhivago before any footage was actually filmed. If I remember right, they eventually shot a couple of minor scenes using Roeg's storyboards, which was his sole contribution to the film.

Roeg was certainly single-handedly responsible for Walkabout however. It was virtually a one-man production.

Isadora (1968):

I have never seen this movie, although I have always wanted to. I wish they would get it on DVD. It is the biopic of free-spirited dancer Isadora Duncan, starring Vanessa Redgrave. Best of all, it contains lots of nudity. Here is a sample in three new collages from Herr Haut

• Vanessa Redgrave (1, 2, 3)

MAILBOX:

Scoop:

You were much too generous in your evaluation of The Graduate. I belong to a film group in Wisconsin, and every Saturday afternoon in winter about ten of us get together to watch one or more of the IMDb Top 250. It's our way of learning more about movies that came before our time. We're all in our 20s. Over the years, we've been disappointed by some films, like Citizen Kane and 2001 and The Searchers, which just don't live up to their reputations, but The Graduate is the only one we've ever shut off without even watching the ending . Early on, a bunch of people just wandered out and did other things. About half way through, one of the girls grabbed the remote and pressed pause. She asked, "does anyone really want to keep watching this?"

Nobody rose to defend it. There were only about five of us still watching.

We came to a conclusion in our post-film discussion. There are many films which are rated high and do not live up to expectations, but The Graduate is the only one of the "great" films that just completely sucks. It is just a poor movie in so many ways. All of the actors in minor roles completely stink. Benjamin looks as old as Mrs Robinson, except without the spray-on gray hair which Mrs Robinson stole from a high school drama club presentation of Long Day's Journey Into Night. The musical score consists of "Songs to Sleep By", and it's the same damned songs over and over. The sound editing is so bad that half of the dialogue is lost. We can't figure out why Mrs Robinson wanted Benjamin. Can you explain that to us? He's three feet tall, and mumbles all the time. We also can't explain why Benjamin and Elaine wanted to marry each other. Since Benjamin is supposed to be a genius, how do you explain his apparent extreme density? Is he stoned all the time? Maybe he's autistic. Maybe Rainman should actually be called The Graduate II. Mrs Robinson's daughter is a complete ditz, and what is the deal on her eyelashes?  And why exactly is this considered a comedy? None of us laughed during the movie, not even once. It's about as funny as Schindler's List.

Between this film and Kubrick's 2001, you guys must have been smoking a lot of loco weed back then.

Scoop's says: I can't really explain why I liked this movie so much back then, but I do remember that I loved it, and it seemed that everyone loved it. It was just an integral part of the Zeitgeist. Some things get lost in the passage of time, and this seems to be one of them. I had one other similar experience since starting this site. I once wrote that I can no longer remember why I used to think Dudley Moore was funny, but I'm pretty sure you will experience the same thing someday when your grandchildren ask you about David Spade.

Yet I and other people did laugh at Dudley Moore wacky hijinks (and people do like Spade), and people did love The Graduate. Many still do, including some young people. I guess those facts give us an understanding of how we differ from one another, and even from younger versions of ourselves.

OTHER CRAP:

• 1998 Penthouse Pet of the Year, Paige Summers, is dead

• Here is the major Yahoo Group dedicated to Paige Summers

• The Sabrina Setlur blue "cat" nudes

• Reality TV becomes Reality Internet - lads compete to be Jordan's new flame. With real nipply goodness.

• Porn actress Mary Carey's message may not be resonating with many voters but her bid to become California governor is a marketing coup of the first order!

• The best news in ages - Berkeley Breathed and Opus are Returning

• CIA seeks probe of White House, seeks identity of WH Official who blew an agent's cover.

• Comic book site claims Orson Welles planned to do a Batman movie! Yeah, right. Perhaps there was some LSD in the ink on that guy's comic books. Welles himself would have loved this kind of hoax. After all, he's the one who convinced people The War of the Worlds was real.

• GM introduces an Aztek with 665 horsepower

• The Top 10 things you need to know for college

• KC Chiefs Cheerleaders

• Computer optical illusions

• The Hotel Morgan is looking for a neon light repairman

• The Condiment Packet Museum. "This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever known about! Talk about a waste of time & money." - email from Museum visitor, July 14, 2002

• Animal Dildos. Perhaps Tom Green's favorite site? For the woman who has everything - what gift could say love better than a yard-long model of a horse's cock? (Check out Thor)

• The Movie Quote Quiz! Test your movie quote knowledge!

• Singer Robert Palmer dies at 54

• Will Ferrell has inked a deal to play the Man in the Yellow Hat in the CURIOUS GEORGE movie

• Pinky's World of Female Masturbation Euphemisms!

• Homer Simpson's Dream Comes True - Beer Truck Overturns. "spilled thousands of cans of Bud Light beer on the road"

• Bennifer buy a pickup truck in Georgia

• U.S. Deportation Plan Angers Mexicans. The US government is deporting illegals to places in Mexico hudreds of miles from their homes, in an attempt to reduce repeated attempts.

• The Sun's guide to eating. Bizarre pseudo-erotica splashed with humor.

• Florida Marlins make the post-season. The only remaining spot is being contested by the Cubs and the 'Stros.

• There's one other thing up for grabs in baseball. Tigers lose #119. Two games left. They need to lose one to tie the record, both to break it.

• Baseball Geeks - Major League Baseball Away Hitting Stats. Which teams really have the best and worst offenses? Perhaps the best way to answer that question is to look at their performance in road games, which eliminates the bias caused by home stadiums. Who has the best offense? The Yankees, not the Red Sox. The sox scored 532 runs at Fenway, only 424 on the road to the Yankees 466.That surprised me a little but what surprised me more was who had the worst offense. I would have guessed the Tigers, Dodgers, and Rockies. Those three were 2,3,4, but the worst of all was Les Expos.

• Baseball Geeks - Major League Baseball Away Pitching Stats. There are not as many surprises in the pitching stats. The Dodgers have the lowest ERA on the road as well as at home, so Dodger Stadium does help them, but they are just plain good. The worst is no real surprise - the Tigers, although the Texas Rangers made it a contest. But we knew the Rangers sucked, so that's no real surprise either. I guess the big negative surprises to me were the Cubs, Marlins, and the A's. My guess, before looking at the stats, for the five best pitching staffs would have been D-Backs, Dodgers, Cubs, A's, Marlins. The Cubs were only fifth, the A's a surprisingly low 9th, and the Marlins totally suck. They only seem good because of a 3.16 ERA at home (4.99 on the road).

• George Plimpton dies. He's the guy who refused to experience sports vicariously like the rest of us. He actually went out there and took some snaps with 300 pound guys trying to knock him down. It's amazing he lived this long, when you think about it. Here is Plimpton's famous story, The Curious Case of Sidd Finch, which used enough real details to fool many credulous people into thinking it was true.

• Youth baseball league makes best athletes play with a handicap! Kurt Vonnegut wrote a short story about this decades ago - Harrison Bergeron.

Other crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

"Simone de Beauvoir's Babies"
Simone de Beauvoir's Babies is an Australian mini series about four thirty-something women worried about their biological clock. The most nudity comes from Anne Looby and Sally Cooper. Sonia Todd is topless but the view is fleeting.

• Anne Looby (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
• Sally Cooper (1, 2, 3)
• Sonia Todd (1, 2, 3)

"Table One"
Table One is about a group of friends opening up a restaurant, and turn it into a topless bar to make it profitable. Mary Hammett makes a interesting cowgirl and there are some unidentified topless dancers.

• Mary Hammett
• Topless Dancers

"Venus & Mars"
Daniela Lunkewitcz goes topless in Venus & Mars and there's some see-through nudity by Julie Bowen.

• Daniela Lunkewitcz (1, 2, 3)
• Julie Bowen (1, 2, 3)

"Daytrippers"
Very brief pokies by Hope Davis in Daytrippers.

• Hope Davis

"The Plumber"
Some side nudity by Judy Morris in an Australian thriller called The Plumber.

• Judy Morris (1, 2, 3)

"Point of No Return"
Some barely visible dark nudity by Nikki Coghill in another Australian movie called Point of No Return.

• Nikki Coghill (1, 2)

"Palais Royale"
Nothing unusual here but Kim Cattrall is briefly topless in Palais Royale.

• Kim Cattrall (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

"Fright Night"
The nudity in Fright Night comes from a topless Irina Irvine, just before she's killed. Heidi Sorenson shows some pokies as does Amanda Bearse. Amanda may also be revealing a little more.

• Irina Irvine
• Heidi Sorenson
• Amanda Bearse (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

"O"
No nudity in O but there are some sexy poses by Julia Stiles and Rain Phoenix.

• Julia Stiles (1, 2)
• Rain Phoenix

"Dark Habits"
I am a big fan of Spanish writer/director Pedro Almodovar but this 1983 film is not one of his best.

A nightclub singer seeks refuge in a convent populated by gay nuns on dope. The movie is crazy and disjointed not really sure if it wants to be a comedy, drama, or druggie story. Interesting in parts but basically disappointing if you're looking for classic Almodvar.

• Cristina Sánchez Pascual, topless.

ARNOLD DENIES TOILET INTENT
Civic Doody - After the California gubernatorial debate, Arianna Huffington slammed Arnold Schwarzenegger as anti-woman, claiming that his line that he had a perfect role for her in "Terminator 4" referred to a scene in "T3" in which a woman's head is shoved into a toilet. Arnold said he meant all the "Terminator" movies had strong roles for women, like Linda Hamilton and the female robot, and if that's how Arianna interpreted it, that's her problem.