Monday

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To see and use all the Funhouse features, you need Netscape 6.+ or MSIE 5.+.

• Netscape 7.0 is available free for download or on CD.
• MSIE 6.0 is available free.

Revolver (1973), also known as Blood in the Streets, is a multi-national production effort, but is mainly Italian. It is a crime thriller, but has none of the blood and gore of the giallo genre. Oliver Reed is assistant governor (something like a warden) of an Italian prison. He wife (Agostina Belli) is kidnapped, and he is informed that he must release a prisoner (Fabio Testi) if he wants to see his wife again. For the rest of the story, the two try to discover where the wife is, who wants Testi out of prison, and why. Belli shows breasts in a sex scene before her kidnapping, put there to show that they were indeed passionate, and that he would, in fact, risk everything to save her. Along the way, Reed and Testi sort of join forces.

As everyone starts to look for them, they escape to France with a little help from Paola Pitagora, who shows breasts in a sex scene with Testi. Before it is over, it takes many twists and turns, and what at first seems to be a simple crime story takes on major political and financial overtones. IMDB readers say 7.2 of 10. THe DVD is acceptable quality, and the typical have everyone speak in their native language because we are going to dub all the sound technique was used, so it was in dubbed English. Music was by the ever-present Ennio Morricone. It is a pretty fair crime thriller, although the plot got a little confusing near the end. IF you like crime thrillers, this one is watchable. C.
 

Movies 

I started out to write that Possession is the Citizen Kane of films in which beautiful French babes have incestuous sex with a giant squid. (Isabelle Adjani was the squid's mother). And then I thought - no - that's too narrow - there is no better film in which people of other nationalities have incestuous sex with squid. There are no better movies with human-squid sex at all, hetero- or homosexual. It doesn't really even matter whether the human is related to the squid. Hell, why stop at movies? There are no other media which have given the world such squid-related sexual entertainment (see the first collage). Gentlemen, for my money, this surely is the Citizen Kane, the frutto de tutti frutti, of squid-fuckin' entertainment.

My only real hesitation about that statement is that the creature is not actually a squid. Since Adjani is his mom, he's really only half-squid, but I thought that was too technical.

I wanted to stretch it still further, and say it was the best darned squid-related entertainment money can buy, but then I thought of non-sexual squid stuff, and I'm still undecided between this and the original written version of Jules Verne's 20000 Leagues ... for the all-time championship of squid-related entertainment.

Isabelle Adjani - back in 1981, she had not yet discovered the wonderful world of body doubles (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

Other crap

• Jennifer Aniston's mom - what a piece of work this lady is - read the story. If, for some reason, you want to order the sex movie which stars Aniston's mom and John Holmes, who was to the skin flute what Zamfir was to the pan flute, here's the link. Did I ever tell you I once saw a Zamfir concert in Vienna? A story for another day, but until then, you can lay down your bets on how many times he played "Theme from Dr Zhivago" that night.
• the Star suggests that Nick Nolte passed his sobriety test, despite seeming drunk, because he was high on, probably addicted to, GHB. "He still has that vacant look on his face. And when you talk to him, he isn't making too much sense". Oh, wait, they were just watching him in The Thin Red Line
• Hey, we finally found something the left and right and libertarians can all agree on - everyone hates John Ashcroft

various stories culled from his usual daily research by Pat Reeder of The Comedy Wire

A too-sexy 'Superman'?
WILL Jimmy Olsen try to cop a feel off the Man of Steel? That's what worried Superman fans are wondering about "Superman 5," in which Clark Kent's reporter pal Olsen is gay. The script, written by J. J. Abrams, creator of "Felicity" and a writer for "Alias," supposedly takes other liberties with the characters, including a Superman who prefers flirting with Lois Lane to helping citizens in distress, reports MSNBC.com gossip Jeannette Walls. After the alleged plot points were leaked to several Web sites, morality-minded comic-book geeks flew into a tizzy. "Please abandon this ridiculous parody of a Superman film script and have a new one written," writes one fan on petitiononline.com. Many fans are also upset that a rival movie project, "Superman vs. Batman," was shelved by Warner Bros. The dark script was seen as a tremendous risk that could have killed off both franchises if it failed at the box office.


Dead issue
DIRECTOR Roger Avary shot a scene for "The Rules of Attraction" in which sexy Shannyn Sossamon has lesbian sex with a corpse. The twisted tryst never made it past censors, but Avary made sure that a still from the scene graces the CD of the movie's soundtrack, which is chock full of '80s acts like the Cure, Erasure and Yaz. No wonder Avary just spent the last two months haggling with the MPAA for an R rating for the latest adaptation of a Bret East Ellis novel, which stars slumming WB stars James Van Der Beek and Jessica Biel.



From IMDB News...
Lopez To Romp with Cattrall in 'Sex and the City'

Sex symbol Jennifer Lopez will delight TV audiences the world over by enjoying a steamy smooch with Sex And The City's Kim Cattrall in the new series of the hit HBO show. The curvy Latin babe will make a guest appearance in an upcoming episode of the popular comedy-drama, and her brazen character will lock lips with Cattrall's broad-minded sex-mad Samantha Jones. Lopez says, "The plot is outrageous. I'm playing a slut who seduces Kim Cattrall only to wind up stealing her boyfriend. It's my favorite show. I'm a New York girl so I can relate to those characters." A source adds, "Jennifer considers herself a movie star and wouldn't normally consider making a guest appearance on a TV show - but she loves Sex and the City and couldn't pass up the opportunity."
 

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

• One more of Stefania Sandrelli, in scenes from the movie "La Chiave" aka "The Key". Directed by one of the masters of Euro-sleaze, Tino Brass.
• The supremely odd Amanda Plummer, in "Butterfly Kiss" .

Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

Señor Scoopy-

Today beings us caps of Julie Cialini (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8) only, but in this scene from Wolfhound she does the triple B bossa nova. First and last collages show Julie in all her full frontal glory, number 3 has both boobs and bum and the other five are a boobs-only bonazana (the fourth is sorta, kinda special cuz I managed to stitch it together from a couple of slow-pan frames, and so it's high resolution even by DVD standards).

A couple of things to notice: 1) collage 3 indicates all of Julie's scenes were filmed in the dark for a practical reason, as she appears to be a perfect body double Kate Winslet... not that Miss Kate ever uses a body double OR that's a bad thing to have her body type; 2) Julie's character does a ride-em-cowgirl routine in this scene, mainly because the boffee is chained to the bed. It's on the dismount in the last collage you get to see Julie's furry parts.

Brainscan

The Naked One takes a look at The Cell, an ultra-creepy film with a spectacular visual sense

• Catherine Sutherland (1, 2, 3, 4)
• Glenda Chism
• Jennifer Lopez (non-nudes) (1, 2, 3, 4)
• Tara Subkoff

• the Mary Millington is a pretty rear nude
• the Landon Hall has no nudity, but some pokies;
• the Jenna Bodnar is topless.

They are listed here by filename:

REPEAT OF YESTERDAY'S CAPS. A couple of the links were not correct. here they are again

• Claudia Udy in "Master of Dragonard Hill" (1989).
• Claudia Udy in "Night Force" (1987).

Next...Canadian actress Nancy Cser showing some partial butt, breast, and bush in an obligatory skinny dipping scene in the hoplessly dated "Survival 1990" (1985) (aka Survival Earth), a post-nuclear holocaust b-fest made in 1985 set to take place in 1990. All it's missing is Jeff Probst as the host.

• Nancy Cser

and finally....Geneviève Deloir topless in the French-Canadian movie "Red the Half Breed" (1970).

• Geneviève Deloir

And here are TODAY'S CAPS

One of Hollywood's hottest Latino leading ladies, Julie Carmen burst on the scene in the 1979 TV biopic"Can You Hear the Laughter? The Story of Freddie Prinze".

Not much nudity in her film career but very sexy.

(1) The Penitent (1988): in wet brassiere.
(2) Fright Night Part II (1989): cleavage only but wotta vamp!
(3) Paint It Black (1989): boobs and butt obscured by shower glass.
(possible shower dub, but her face is shown through the glass)
(4) Cold Heaven (1991): pokies while braless in white t-shirt.
(5) Kiss Me a Killer (1991): very sexy but
(6) using an obvious bodydub for her topless scenes.
 

"Midnight Dancer" (1988) (aka Belinda) is an Australian movie much like Showgirls but with a plot line. Deanna Jeffs plays Belinda, a young innocent ballet dancer who can only get a job as a chorus girl at a seedy nightclub. Mary Regan plays an older dancer trying to support her disabled son.

NUDITY REPORT: Toplessness by various dancers with the notable exception of Belinda. Nude scenes are mostly in the dressing room. There are no love or sex scenes.

(1) Deanna Jeffs: mostly underwear in her one and only movie role.
(2) Elizabeth Lord: topless using hooters as machine guns.
(3) Kaarin Fairfax: dancing topless with drag queen.
(4) Kahti: topless wearing thong.
(5) Robyn Moase: topless as much older dancer.
(6) Mary Regan: excellent topless and showing some good leg.
(7) BONUS: Mary Regan topless and showing partial pubes in an earler movie "Heart of the Stag" (1984).
 

Moral dilemmas for a university ethics class. Please open your blue books. (Do they still have blue books?)

• You know Ledoyen has touched Decaprio intimately. Would you still hit it?