Thursday

Tuna
"The Seduction of Inga"

The Seduction of Inga (1969), aka Inga 2, is Joe Sarno's sequel to his popular Inga, again staring Marie Liljedahl in the title role, and begins where Inga leaves off. This was Liljedahl's last film, as she retired upon its completion. Inga has been left by Karl in the city, living in a cheap boarding house run by a madam. She is nearly out of money, and is being pressured into turning tricks to pay her rent. Her neighbor, a young wannabe song writer and performer, gets her a job as secretary to a rich middle aged author.

Inga falls for the author, the songwriter falls for her, and the author has a thing for young girls, including his daughter, whom he had a long, incestuous affair with. Inga is naked through much of the film, and shows breasts and buns and a hint of bush. Liljedahl was an excellent actress and could have had a long career if she had chosen to do so. Inger Sundh, as the incestuous daughter, shows breasts in a sex scene, and does a fairly hot lesbian scene with Liljedahl. An unknown seduces the songwriter after he thinks Liljedahl has dumped him and two unknowns have a lesbian sex show in the madam's apartment. After Sarno finished the film and submitted it to the producers, someone cut in some harder core inserts that clearly don't match, so we have breast and bush closeups of Inga and Greta's characters. Sarno claims all of the lesbian footage was shot by him, and that Liljedahl did show headless bush in that scene.

The sound track was meant to appeal to a younger audience, and Sarno contracted two young Swedish rock musicians to compose it, Peter Himmelstrand and Björn Ulvaeus, who later joined two other musicians and formed ABBA. The original R US release and the grindhouse version with the inserts are both in the rather well done 2 DVD set from Seduction Cinema, as well as tons of special features, and another Sarno film. The original release is a very noisy and damaged 4/3, and the grindhouse version is letterboxed and in generally better shape. Sarno shot in Sweden as he felt he got the best possible crew for the least money, and he was already fluent in the language.

IMDb readers have this at 6.0, but only based on 7 votes. It is one of the better late 60's sexploitation efforts, as it had a real story, character development, and higher production values than was the norm in that genre. Sarno was very adept at lighting a scene, liked closeups, and seemed to have a fascination with the psychology of incest, making this a classic Sarno film. This is a C+ as an excellent example of 60 sexploitation, bordering on art film. It is more of interest today from an historical perspective.

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  • Inger Sundh (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
  • The harder core inserts (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • Lesbians (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
  • Marie Liljedahl (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58)
  • Unknown (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
    Way too much of our lives (mine and Tuna's), is filled with watching bad movies and noting how bad they are. Because of that fact, it feels really nice, once in a while, to break from the normal cynicism of my column and offer some praise to people who make good  movies, to wit: screenwriter Charlie Kaufman and writer director Terry Gilliam.

    The Adventures of Baron Munchausen (1988)

    I suppose Terry Gilliam must be the most underrated writer/director in history. He's only made nine films, all of them pretty damned good, and three of them in the all-time IMDb Top 250, yet he's never in the discussion when people debate about the greatest living directors.

    Here is his directing resumé:

    1. (8.40) - Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
    2. (8.00) - Brazil (1985)
    3. (7.90) - Twelve Monkeys (1995)
    4. (7.40) - Fisher King, The (1991)
    5. (7.30) - Meaning of Life, The (1983)
    6. (7.00) - Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998)
    7. (6.90) - Time Bandits (1981)
    8. (6.70) - Adventures of Baron Munchausen, The (1988)
    9. (6.04) - Jabberwocky (1977)

    He is also credited as a writer in all of those films except The Fisher King. There is not a bad film on the list. There is nothing even close. Even the disappointments are worth one's time, and even the worst moments of the disappointments are impossible to fast-forward through.

    To me the key issue about Gilliam is not just that he is a funny man with an astounding and unique imagination, though he is those things, but that his body of work is a celebration of mankind.

    On the surface, one might assume the opposite, that Gilliam is cynical to the point of despair. His imaginary worlds are all dystopic. They are chaotic and dehumanizing places ruled by the brutal and corrupt. All his humor seems to derive from a view that the only way for the human spirit to cope with chaos and hopelessness is with laughter. Underneath that veneer, however, Gilliam inevitably sees the brighter angels of our nature. His societies may be vile, perhaps as an extension of the real societies that we build, but his individuals can be noble, and willing to fight against monstrous odds, even at great personal peril. When I watch Gilliam's films, I always get a sense that we humans have failed, but that we should not have, that we should have been much more, and might yet be if we can suppress that portion of our DNA that still belongs to the territorial apes we once were.

    Terry Gilliam is what Jonathan Swift or Cervantes would have been if they had lived in a time when artists created movies.

    Gilliam has made great films but Baron Munchausen, to be honest, is not such a great film. It is one of Gilliam's most tepid offerings, and one of his most confusing and silly. Yet it is still a good film because there is just so much to enjoy. There is Gilliam's astounding visual invention. There is Uma Thurman's beauty, Eric Idle's comic timing, Sara Polley's childish adorability, and a marvelously theatrical lead performance by John Neville. There is the celebration of our ability to dream, the condemnation of irrational authority and power wielded cynically, the recognition of the power inherent in forgiveness, and in hope. Most of all there is the ubiquitous notion that the individual is important, that he cannot normally win a victory over the ruthless, soulless power of entrenched demigods, but there is great nobility and value in the fact that he tries.

    And sometimes, no matter how quixotic his quest, he may even prevail.

    • Uma (1, 2, 3)

     

    The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

    By the time Oscar nominations roll along, the academy seems to forget about the films released in February and March. That's a shame, because Eternal Sunshine is a terrific movie, and would make a credible and creditable Oscar candidate.

    What would you do if the woman you love went to a mind-erasure service and had them remove all traces of you?

    Well, I know the answer in real life, but this is the movies.

    In real life, you would be sitting in the catbird's seat. Assume your relationship has been having problems. That's why she had her mind erased in the first place, right? Having erased the memory of all those sour moments, she is now free to fall in love with you again, not knowing about the bad times, not remembering the mistakes you made, not aware of some of the ugly things you said in the heat of an argument. You, on the other hand, are aware of the erasure, know what went wrong, and if you are a thoughtful person, can avoid the worst problems. You've been given a second chance. 

    This movie isn't about that.

    That's way too logical and predictable to come from the disordered mind of Charlie Kaufman.

    He is an eccentric man, possibly completely mad, as were many of the greatest writers in history. Melville was nutty as a fruitcake. Dostoevsky and Gogol, likewise. Blake? Don't even go there. The advantage of madness is that it pushes a mind to wander where other minds would not go, to invent outside the boundaries of reality. This is not an especially desirable characteristic for a doctor or a judge, but it can be the wellspring of originality for painters and writers. This is precisely what created the old cliché about the thin line between genius and insanity - both geniuses and madmen see what others cannot. Both ignore objective reality and the boundaries of convention. Screenwriter Charlie Kaufman is one or the other ... or both ... it doesn't really matter.

    Kaufman doesn't take the logical, predictable path I followed above, and the very fact that he has no grasp of reality is precisely what makes him so uniquely effective. Reality would have screwed up this story.

    When the man in this film finds out that his woman has erased him, instead of viewing it as a fresh opportunity to relive the good times and avoid the mistakes, he thinks that the only way to purge his malaise is to have her erased from his mind as well. The procedure itself takes a few hours, and this film is about what goes on in the man's unconscious mind as his memories are being erased. Somehow, he becomes aware of the erasure process from deep in his drug-induced coma, and he tries to hide some of the good memories from the scientists and technicians who are mapping his brain. He even tries to wake up, as if in a bad dream, and tell them to stop. The technicians have their own issues as well, and get distracted from the process, so the man becomes free - at least temporarily - to poke around in the memories of his romance, and its relationship to other events that made him into the man who entered that romance in the first place.

    Along the way, he comes to understand who he is, and why things didn't work out. In the process of doing so, he comes to an understanding that the early promise of a new love is inevitably doomed to face crisis and pain, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing, depending on how the partners handle it.

    That's an extremely oversimplified summary. The script is filled with nuances, quirks, and interwoven sub-plots, and is sculpted in such a clever way that the film even includes some of the best elements of the mystery and thriller genres.

    I confess that I usually get bored by films that have a character wandering in and out of dreams and memories, but I never lost interest in this film for a second. The main deal drove forward at exactly the right pace, with just the right cards hidden. The sub-plots, although sometimes seeming to be irrelevant at the time they were introduced, all served a purpose in the master design.

    In a sense, it is a work of great literature that just happens to be in a convenient "genre film" format, ala Blade Runner. It is also remarkably entertaining.

    Just see it.

    • Kirsten Dunst (1, 2, 3). Not much nudity, but a look at Dunst's breasts is always appreciated.

     

    Other Crap:

    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

     

     

    MOVIE REVIEWS:

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

     

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Shiloh

    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

    NOTE: because of a unique combination of circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a picture. When you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.

    I know this is not especially convenient, but it allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips altogether.

     

     

    Variety

    • Katherine Kelly Lang and the Skeetmeister - the grade-B Johnny Depp - in Soul Assassin  (.avi zipped) (.wmv zipped)

    • Normally we leave the former staple girls to Brainscan, but since Shannon Tweed's probably the most successful of the bunch, if not the most prolific (that would be Julie Strain), here she is in that timeless cinema classic, Power Play.  (.avi zipped) (.wmv zipped)

     

     

     

    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
     
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

    Striplight

    Comments and vids by Striplight:

     

    A couple more vids straight out of the top drawer for you.

     

    • Firstly Sophie Marceau in "Beyond the Clouds". This is where she clambers out of bed to see if Malkovich has really buggered off. Fantastic! Her,  I mean. (.wmv zipped)

    • Then there’s Esther Hall in “Sons & Lovers”. Only a brief flash of the three - the full stand up frontal bit earlier in the drama is so badly lit I can’t seem to create anything worthwhile from it. But this is nice. (.wmv zipped)

     


    Graphic Response
    'Caps and comments by Graphic Response:
    • Yekaterina Golubeva in "Twentynine Palms" (2003).

      She is a relative unknown to me, despite having 13 film credits prior to this film. She gives it all up in this one with some of the most revealing sex and nudity I've seen in a mainstream film. The film itself was like watching paint dry. Very long, boring scenes done in real time.

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

    Brainscan
    'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

    Found an early Julie Strain performance in a videotape called "Teasers" (1993). Plot goes like this. I don't mean a summary of the plot, or an overview of the plot, I mean the plot. Would be safer to say: screenplay of the movie goes like this:

    Two college guys who look 35 go into a titty bar to celebrate something or other. Gal strips (she is played by Melody Johnson, a pale blonde who moves as though this was the not the first time she'd taken off her clothes in public). Drunk guy next to them gets up, walks away and leaves his credit card behind. College guys take credit card... because they wouldn't mind if someone took a credit card of theirs and used it for his own purposes, nope not one little bit. They go home and call up seven strippers to come over and do their jobs.

    All seven do. Cops show up after number 7. Take boys down to the station (which, remarkably enough, has the very same carpet as their living room), where the female cop proceeds to strip and the boys are let loose, sadder but wiser or happier and stupider. I'm not sure which.

    That's it. All the plot development of My Dinner With Andre done by mimes. Maybe less.

    But nine gals take off their clothes. Seven of them do bang-up triple B performances; and for those who like the sight of bare naked tushies, eight of the gals do the shakin-the-booty thang. One of the gals is the goddess of B movies, Julie Strain, and several others (Lisa Comshaw, Ashlie Rhey, Amy Rochelle, Lauren Hays and Melanie Armstrong) went on to be staples of the B movie industry. If you had never seen a direct-to-video erotic thriller and planned never to do so, but you wanted to see what the women in those movies looked like, this would be the tape for you.

    And even though it is a videotape, the lighting and close-up camera work make for fairly decent caps.

    The litany of stripping goes like this:

    Amy Rochelle starts out as a French maid. Triple B. This was early Amy, when her body was perfect and composed entirely of carbon compounds, not that silicone shit.

    • Amy Rochelle (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)


    Annette Burger has the longest stripping scene... almost ten minutes in duration. And I can see why. Terrific rumpus and a pair of robo-hooters that are actually pretty darn attractive. Gal did two other movies, both erotic thrillers and got nekkid in them, too.


    Ashlie Rhey starts off dressed like a school girl. Not for long. Triple B of Ashlie very early in her career.

    • Ashlie Rhey (1, 2, 3, 4)


    Holly Spencer plays the cop stripper. Worst camera work of all the gals... not much to cap, even though she is more than okay looking.


    Julie Strain was 30 when she made this movie, but she looks fantastic. Triple B, with the accent on the rear half of the sheebang.

    • Julie Strain (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)


    Lisa Comshaw, also early in her career and looking mighty fine, if you ask me. Triple B

    • Lisa Comshaw (1, 2)


    Melinda Armstrong, wearing a wig of short brown hair. Melinda was the focus of the Bikini Summer movies and has done a lot of strip and wiggle disks. Here she strips. And she wiggles. But even though she takes off her knickers, there's another pair of knickers underneath them. WTF?

    • Melinda Armstrong (1, 2)


    Melody Johnson plays the original stripper. Not much of her bum shown, but her frontal surface is most well-photographed.

    • Melody Johnson (1, 2, 3)

    Crimson Ghost
    NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.


    A perfect follow up from yesterday....Today the Ghost takes a looks at "Ski School II".

    • Shannon Lee Brown...a very cute brunette looking fantastic wearing only a tool belt and a hard hat. (she kinda reminds me of Lexa Doig) This is her one and only IMDb credit. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
    • Shannon Lee Brown zipped .wmv

    • Wendy Hamilton, the former Heffer (December '91) bares breasts and bum...mostly while standing nekkid in the snow and painting. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16,)
    • Wendy Hamilton zipped .wmvs. Links 1-3 feature her painting in the nude. #4 is from a love scene. (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Variety
    Erin Gray
    (1, 2, 3)

    Excellent 'caps by DeadLamb that combine two late 70's/early 80's classic TV shows. Here is Gray (better known to many as Col. Wilma Deering from "Buck Rogers in the 25th Century") in bikini 'caps from a guest appearance on "Magnum, P.I.". The first season of "Magnum" is now available on DVD.

    Lara Flynn Boyle Dragonscan 'caps of the "Men in Black II" co-star topless in scenes from "The Road to Wellville" (1994).

    Marie Black
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

    Señor Skin 'caps of Black going topless in scenes from an indie film that no one has ever heard of called "Levelland" (2003).

    Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    NUGENT SLAMS ROCKER VOTE DRIVES
    Weighty Thought - Republican rocker Ted Nugent scoffed at the vote registration drives by P. Diddy and other rockers and rappers. Nugent said telling people to "just get out and vote" when they know nothing about the issues is like saying, "'There's a child drowning in the river. Just do something. Here, I'll throw him a cinder block.' Well, at least you did something."

  • Makes Ted want to get out his crossbow...
  • If the kid is a liberal, Ted WOULD throw him a cinder block.
  • If they want to learn about the issues, they'll actually have to listen to the lyrics.


    PHONE CUSTOMERS TOLD TO "F--- OFF"
    Reach Out And F--- Someone - Customers of the British phone company NTL got a shock when they called the complaint line and got a recording that said, "Hello. We don't give a f--- about you. We are never here. We just will f--- you about, basically, and we are not going to handle any of your complaints. Just f--- off." NTL officials apologized, blaming it on an attack by an outside hacker.

  • So leave them the f--- alone.
  • Either that, or an extremely honest customer service representative.
  • Why were customers shocked? Isn't that what ALWAYS happens when they complain?


    TRUMP TV SHOW FIRING VIOLATES A.D.A.
    Delusions Of Grandeur Don't Count - On "The Apprentice," Donald Trump fired black contestant Stacie J., calling her "crazy" after her teammates accused her of being weird and scary because she consulted a Magic 8-Ball. But Baltimore lawyer Morris Fischer, a specialist in discrimination cases, told the New York Post that Trump might have violated the Americans With Disabilities Act. Fischer said he's not advocating suing, but you could make a case that since the prize is a real job, rejecting an applicant as "crazy" when you have no medical proof could be illegal.

  • Well, unless you're Donald Trump.
  • It could be argued that wanting to work for Donald Trump IS proof that you're crazy.
  • If Trump had to follow the ADA, he'd never be able to fire any of them.
  • Fortunately, reality TV has nothing to do with reality.
  • Asked if she planned to sue, Stacie said, "Answer's unclear. Ask again later."


    REM SINGER WANTS TO SELL RING TONES FOR CARS
    Stop Stipe! - REM singer Michael Stipe isn't just a musical and political thinker, he's an inventor, too. He told Time Out magazine that he was nearly struck by an electric car in Los Angeles because they're so silent, you can't hear them coming. He said it gave him a brainstorm: To keep people from being run over, electric cars will be equipped with ring tones. Every car could play the driver's favorite music, from classical to reggae to bluegrass. He said, "It will blow the music business wide open!"

  • That's true: it could cause a lot of violence against the music business.
  • And think what it'll do for road rage.
  • Is that really a big problem in L.A.? Drivers not playing music loud enough so you can hear them coming?
  • Or...maybe you can look both ways before crossing.