A Thousand Pleasures (1968) (Day One) is another film by Michael and Roberta Findlay. This time, it has an actual plot, and some dialogue. This time, 6 women get naked, and all but one show everything. During the credits, an unknown naked go go dancer dances in front of three mirrors. This has nothing whatsoever to do with the film, and we never see her again. As the film opens, our hero is washing dishes in a frilly apron, while his shrew wife berates him for being a slob. He stabs her to death, loads her into the back of the old station wagon, and goes on a road trip. Shortly thereafter, he picks up two female hitchhikers, who give him a blow job and lure him into their house. Little does he know that they are more than just two hitchhikers with very bad wigs. They are lesbians intent on stealing his sperm and getting pregnant. They want a baby to replace the baby they already have, who is in her mid 20s, and is first seen in a crib wearing only diapers. She proceeds to take off the diapers, get out of her crib, and masturbate with a candle.

I will cover the rest of the plot tomorrow, as well as presenting the rest of the images. Tonight we have Donna Stone and Kim Lewid giving three B performances.

This is kind of a forgotten nude scene for tiny Jane March. I suppose that everybody interested in the subject has seen her shapely 90 pounds of flesh nekkid in The Lover (best-photographed softcore film EVER!) and The Color of Night, but Provocateur has never made it to DVD, so is rarely capped.

This is a very cool clip because it was taped off German TV, and the TV station used the full 35mm frame to get a good TV aspect ratio. The clip therefore includes information above and below what you might have seen on a theater screen. The most important thing it shows is that she was taking a shower with her clothes on! (Apparently the crew members were among the 34 people in the world who have never seen Jane naked!)

• (.wmv zipped)
• (.jpg sample)

Forever Mine (1999)

Here are the last two of the HQ vids of gorgeous Gretchen Mol in Forever Mine. This film was never released for a variety of reasons, not the least of which was that various people and entities involved went into receivership. OK, it's a pretty cheesy movie, but it has beautiful photography - and I mean exceptionally beautiful - Oscar caliber cinematography if the flick had been a good movie to begin with - and much of that photography was used to capture Gretchen Mol naked. On the whole, that's about all a film needs right there, and the film is watchable, even though I made fun of it in my review. If I did not already own it now, I would buy it.

• clip 3 (.wmv zipped)
• clip 4 (.wmv zipped)

Clothilde Courau

This is the adorable French vixen in Le Poulpe. The original .avi is Charlie's, and you can find still captures on his site (go to main menu or click on French flag above).

• (.avi zipped)
• (.wmv zipped)

Other Crap:

• Spin doctors and apologists create a hip new Dick Cheney. (click on "watch film")
• Canadian occupational safety group finds that strippers lead dangerous lifes. The resulting government flyers contain advice for strippers, such as using a scarf or towel while sitting.
• URL says it all: PickYourPresident.com.
• Columbus may be buried in Seville. Most famous explorers are now buried in cars, at least Columbus got a nice one. Lewis and Clark are buried in Hyundais, while DeSoto and Hudson are ... well, I guess you know those two.
• Further proof you can find anything you want on the internet. Here's an entire site dedicated to women in Princess Leia bikinis. Some of them are cute. Others? Not so much.
• Current Electoral Vote Predictor 2004 is now placing Ohio in the Bush camp, raising the Bush total to 296 (270 needed to elect). Ohio has been "flip-flopping". The count does not reflect any post-debate polls.
• Four free short sample videos from Playboy Big Breast Babes!
• Heather Kozar playmate gallery courtesy of PlayboyPlus.com! She was the PMOY in 1999!
• She's gonna blow! This must be the 20th time I've used that headline, but the first time it wasn't about Paris Hilton! Mount St. Helens could erupt within 24 hours, so get your butts far away from there.
• It's the zany new Norwegian sport for tourists: killing baby seals. By gum, ever since I moved from Miami and quit playing jai-alai, I've been looking for a sport I could really love. Now I think I've died and gone to heaven. Unfortunately, Norway still has a ban on assault weapons, tactical nukes are universally forbidden, and they won't let you club them to death, so you have to kill them with single shot weapons. For about a thousand bucks, they give you four days of sport and a guarantee of two seals! The company's website shows photos of hunters posing with their kill and offers trips that not only include accommodation and food (all the herring you can eat!) but offer help with cutting up and preserving seal carcasses. Plus, training is available for beginners!! I'm off. Off, I tell you. I love this sport. It's almost time for spring training for my new team, the Bergen Mooses! OK, it isn't spring, but the seasons in Norway look pretty much alike. (By the way, to cut the sarcasm for a minute, although the ever-gullible Guardian says it is about killing "baby seals", I don't think that it has anything to do with babies. The Norwegians believe that seals have to be "harvested" to protect the cod supply, just as we realize that deer herds sometimes have to be thinned.)
• The top Norwegian criminal suspects: the Beagle Boys
• Tom Brokaw and Peter Jennings offered support Saturday for the beleaguered Dan Rather, saying that Rather has many good points. He is an above-average speller, and a fairly good tipper!
• People in the bible were homosexual ... and changed? Jeepers, maybe I can change too!! Sure Timmy, with God's help you can!
• Parental Controls: The Truth About Pornography. Honest to God, we live in a post-ironic world. I can't tell whether this comic is written by fanatical nutbags, or by someone satirizing fanatical nutbags.
• URL says it all: CommunistsForKerry.com Pretty strange humor, but occasionally fun!
• Newspaper photograph shows a pregnant, cigarette-smoking woman worrying about the effect of construction noise on her unborn child.
• Did you know - Joaquin Phoenix changed his name from Leaf Phoenix? His sibs are Summer, Liberty, Rain and River, so I always wondered why he had a standard name. (Oh, yeah, he also gives a rare interview.)
• The trailer for MirrorMask: "'MirrorMask' centers on Helena, a 15 year old girl in a family of circus entertainers, who often wishes she could run off and join real life. After a fight with her parents about her future plans, her mother falls quite ill and Helena is convinced that it is all her fault. On the eve of her mother's major surgery, she dreams that she is in a strange world with two opposing queens, bizarre creatures, and masked inhabitants. All is not well in this new world - the white queen has fallen ill and can only be restored by the MirrorMask, and it's up to Helena to find it. But as her adventures continue, she begins to wonder whether she's in a dream, or something far more sinister."
• The trailer for Shooting Shona. "Shooting Shona" is an intimate thriller about the disappearance of Shona's flatmate and her subsequent struggle to find her... Strange things are happening in Belsize Park. Anonymous love letters lie on the kitchen counter. Shona has been randomly receiving them for weeks. They make her uncomfortable, only reminding her of how lonely she really is. Her closest friends seem to be moving on in their lives. One morning, Shona finds the shower running and her flatmate has vanished. It becomes apparent that something horrible may have happened when a sinister man breaks into her apartment and rummages through the place. All the while she is certain that she is being followed. Circumstances draw Shona to meet a mysterious man called Art, and eventually his odd drug-dealing friend, and they find themselves piecing together the mystery of Shona's missing flatmate.
• Various trailers and clips from 2046. "He was a writer. He thought he wrote about the future but it really was the past. In his novel, a mysterious train left for 2046 every once in a while. Everyone who went there had the same intention.....to recapture their lost memories. It was said that in 2046, nothing ever changed. Nobody knew for sure if it was true, because nobody who went there had ever come back - except for one. He was there. He chose to leave. He wanted to change."
• A new trailer and some TV spots for The Polar Express
• The trailer from The Assassination of Richard Nixon : (Sean Penn and Naomi Watts) "Set during the 1970s, 'Nixon' centers on the true story of Philadelphia furniture salesman Sam Byck (Penn), who hatches a plot to kill Richard Nixon after Byck's attempts to live out the American dream are dashed. Byck had planned to hijack a commuter flight in Atlanta and crash the airliner into the White House."
• A Bedford couple named their baby son Drew Peacock before realizing that it sounded exactly like Droopy Cock
  • You'd think the vicar would have said something before the baptism, but the Rev. Dwight Mannsburden found nothing unusual in the boy's name.
  • The boy's proud dad is, of course, now known as Pop Peacock.
  • The boy's mom, Mrs Peacock, is known from the sensational trial in which she was found not guilty of murdering Nigel Boddy in the Bedford Conservatory with a lead pipe.
• Cleveland Indians and Minnesota Twins game suspended to play football!!
• Latest Newsweek poll puts Kerry ahead. 49-46 in a two-way race. 47-45 with Nader factored in. At this point, Bush's decision to debate seems to have been a colossal blunder, but I guess all of that could change with future debates.
• Bush-Kerry Debate Draws 62.5 Million U.S. Viewers
• Driver files federal suit in fight over rates. You would think Daniel Steiner should get a medal. He's an entrepreneur who found a great way to make a living while helping people. He transports people to medical clinics for their appointments, and he does it damned cheap. He's happy, his customers are happy. Only one problem: he has run afoul of the rules requiring "limo drivers" to charge a minimum of $40 per ride.
• The Strange Case of the Hanover High Shocker. Remember when Hanover High suspended 34 students for making an obscene gesture in yearbook pictures? It wasn't "the finger".
• Best ... novelty candy ... ever. Ear Wax Candy
• Stupid Movie Facts from JoBlo.com's: Did You Know...?
• Oh, that Karl Rove! What a wacky guy! When it comes to wordless comedy schtick, he's the Chaplin of our time. Here he pulls a "prank" on Condi. (Well, Reuters called it a prank.)
• Kobe Bryant's accuser planned to keep quiet about encounter: documents: " The woman who has accused Kobe Bryant of raping her was going to keep quiet about her notorious encounter with the NBA basketball prodigy until her ex-boyfriend and a co-worker urged her to speak to police, according to police documents"
• Jon Stewart interviews Seymour Hersh about his new book.
• Five clips from Bride & Prejudice: " 'Bride & Prejudice' puts an entirely different spin on Jane Austen's story of spirited courtship - Bollywood-style. Music, dance and spectacle merge with love, vanity and social pressures"

Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Words from Scoop.

.avi's from Shiloh.

.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

NOTE: because of a unique combination of circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a picture. When you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.

I know this is not especially convenient, but it allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips altogether.

• Blanca Marsillach  (.avi zipped) (.wmv zipped)

• Marina Saura  (.avi zipped) (.wmv zipped)

• Nancy Cartwright  aka the voice of Bart Simpson (.avi zipped) (.wmv zipped)

• Susan Tyrrell  (.avi zipped) (.wmv zipped)

Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

Shiloh says:

FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.

 

When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

A reader says:

You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you or your users.

Scoop says:

I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

Today from the Ghost...
'Caps and vids from "Curse of the Komodo" (2003)...the mega-lo budget creature flick from B-movie legend Jim Wynorski.

• Glori-Anne Gilbert...the 38DD B-movie babe and adult model shows off her big'uns as well as some thong views. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)
• Glori-Anne Gilbert zipped .wmvs (1, 2)

• Melissa Brasselle, the co-star of several Grade B or less action movies showing off some robo-cleavage and pokies. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
• Melissa Brasselle zipped .wmv