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* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).
* White asterisk:
expanded format.
*
Blue asterisk: not mine.
No asterisk: it probably
sucks.
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OTHER CRAP:
Catch the deluxe
version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles,
here.
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Confessions of a Window Cleaner
(1974)
There were four Confessions films starring Robin Askwith in the
same role, a bungling doofus who, for some reason, is irresistible
to the ladies. In this first installment of the series he loses his
virginity after two abortive attempts. It seems that washing windows
not only provides intimate looks into apartments and houses, but
often entails servicing the lady of the house along with her
windows. Robin is smitten by lady cop Linda Hayden, but doesn't let
that get in the way of shagging every other woman in sight. Robin's
brother-in-law owns the window washing business and tries to show
him the ropes. He does just as much fooling around as Robin,
although (or maybe because) his wife very pregnant. Robin's dotty
sad works for the bureau of misplaced items, and brings home
anything that strikes his fancy.
Perhaps the nudity summary will give you a better idea than
anything else what is going on here.
- Carole Augustine does full frontal using a sun lamp in her
apartment.
- Andee Cromarty shows breasts as a window dresser being shagged
by her boss.
- Linda Hayden does full frontal as the cop and love interest to
Askwith.
- Christine Donna shows breasts and buns as a stripper enlisted
to break Askwith in.
- Sue Longhurst shows breasts as a willing housewife.
- Katya Wyeth shows breasts as an avid film fan.
- Olivia Munday does full frontal when she and Askwith are
interrupted by the landlord who's come 'round to take the rent out
in trade.
- Judy Matheson shows breasts and buns trying to make her lover
(another woman) jealous.
- Four women, Glenda Allen, Ava Cadell, Zoe Hendry and Petula
Noble do full frontal in a shower scene. No idea which is which.
In addition to plenty of nudity and some simulated sex, it is
full of double entendre and general silliness. If you enjoy Benny
Hill and the Carry On series, you will also enjoy this. It was a
huge box office success when released, so successful that it spawned
three sequels. For a generation of British youngsters, it was THE
film to sneak into. Since the film is in the top drawer for its
genre, the pathetic IMDb score (2.5) is just an indication that the
voters see that sort of score as the theoretical maximum for a
lowbrow sex romp. But such an appraisal ignores the fact that this
film is fun to watch.
This is an easy C+ as a 1970s British sex romp. Top of the line
as a film which represents the best of a unique genre in a unique
time.
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Notes and collages
"Charmed"
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Shannen Doherty and Holly Marie Combs,
Season 1, Episode 4 |
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Doherty
Combs
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I'm backtracking to season 1. The show originally didn't have
as many sexy outfits as later on, yet I'll collage what there was ... |
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Latin Lover
Much more naughty action from the oversexed Peruvian soap opera.
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If you enjoyed Carice van Houton in my captures from Black Book, then you
just gotta see her other major nude appearance in Die Passievrucht.
As luck would have
it, here's a film clip. Even if you know nothing about her, or aren't
that impressed by her, it's still a helluva good scene. A film clip of
Elisabeth Rohm in Eureka
Street
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Karina Smirnoff on last week's Dancing With the Fuckin' Stars. Oh, I'm
sure you were all tuned in, but I thought maybe you forgot to record it. |
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All kidding aside, here's one you really do want to see. Gwen Stefani
can't stay inside her top. |
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Rosanna Davison. This was contributed by His Holiness himself, Jimmy the
Saint, who hasn't been seen for a while on the page because he is
apparently making a long pilgrimage to the Holy Land on foot. This would
normally be a difficult task for a man living in Ireland, but saints have
that whole "walking on water" thing goin' for 'em, so if you take a
Mediterranean cruise and see a lone man walking East on the Sea, wave to
Saint Jimmy. |
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Note: Jimmy is one of the few Saints with a nickname. You rarely hear
people refer to St. Jack the Baptist, Eddie the Confessor, or St. Tony of Padua ... except
maybe when people refer to St. Paddy's Day, or elementary school sports
teams (The St. Tim's Titans, St. Stan's, e.g.) Come to think of it,
Jimmy is the only living saint, so perhaps he will be upgraded at death to
James the Saint. |
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The Comedy Wire
Comments in yellow...
Monday in Mesa, Arizona, about 700 middle and high school students
from the Higley Unified School District were watching a play on a field trip
when school arts official Tara Kissane stood up 40 minutes into the show and
halted it. She said there was inappropriate language and very suggestive
content, and she doesn't care "what students hear on the streets," but that was
"not a kind of performance that we want them to see." The show was the popular
comedy, "The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged)." The play's
producer said the word "penis" appears twice in the first 40 minutes, but other
than that, he's baffled at what she could have found offensive.
* It was the writings of a dead white male; today's kids
aren't allowed to be exposed to that.
Tommy Lee said when he was married to Pamela Anderson, he endured 10 minutes of
agony getting her name tattooed on his penis.
* It reads "Pamela Anderson Lee," followed by her address
and Social Security number.
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