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Hello Scoopy!

You know, every man was disappointed when the nude scene of Rebecca Romijn Stamos was cut from “Godsend” to get a PG-13. I understand that this movie is on DVD in the USA, and the nude scene wasn’t reinstated into the movie, because the rating for the DVD is also PG-13.

But now (since September 1, 2005) there is a German DVD of “Godsend” available. It`s an Euro Version, with more special features than the American DVD, like deleted and expanded scenes. Could it be that for the Euro Version, they put the nude scene to the deleted scene section? It is a fact, that studios sometimes do that for the European market! An example is a Danny Devito movie called “What’s The Worst That Could happen?” In the US vrsion of the DVD there are 9 deleted scenes, while in the European version there are 11. Number 10 and 11 in Europe are the topless scenes of Sascha Knopf!! In the US they needed the cut to get a PG-13, but in Germany the same DVD with this nude deleted scene is rated safe for anyone at least 6 years old! Could it be that this is the same for “Godsend,” which has no deleted scenes on the Region 1 DVD and some deleted scenes on the German Region 2 DVD. Perhaps  the cut nude scene of Rebecca is one of them. Do you know something about this?

Greetings from Germany

L

Sadly, not. Can anyone help out here?

For those of you unfamiliar with the various references

• Here is the complete, uncut version of the missing scene from Godsend. (Zipped .wmv).
• Here is the Sascha Knopf scene he is referring to:

•  And just for fun, here are two HD caps of 'Becca's underwater scene in Femme Fatale

Hot off the presses:

 

At this point (film just opened), the quality is poor, but here is Maria Bello's pubic flash in A History of Violence.  Here is a zipped .avi., while the thumbnail to the right leads to a larger version of the collage.
Here's some caps of much better quality - from a recent episode of Bodies, a BBC2 series in its second season. The beauty is Hannah Yelland.

 

Some B movies:

Check out the reviews for Mortuary Academy and Campfire Tales at the Movie House. Neither review includes much beyond plot and cast summaries. Campfire Tales is a so-so horror anthology targeted at the youth market. Mortuary Academy is a bad comedy which really has no target. The level of humor is targeted at the 11-12 year old set, ala Gilligan or I Dream of Jeannie, but the hot button is corpse-fuckin', and the zany students manage to defeat the slimy necrophiliac professor by hot-wiring a corpse's vagina! (The very scene pictured below.) I don't remember Gilligan getting into any similar predicaments.

Mr. Howell? That's another story

Jennifer MacDonald in Campfire Tales
Cheryl Starbuck in Mortuary Academy

Young Gods  (2003)

Today we crank up the old Time Machine and go back to 1980 for a Lucio Fulci flick, Contraband, to view a classic "Babe in Bondage" scene with Ivana Monti. Ivana is tied up, tortured and raped after being stripped naked in a rather graphic scene.

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

NEW FLORIDA GUN LAW SPARKS CONTROVERSY
The Brady Bunch - Florida recently passed a law allowing residents to shoot people in a public area if they believe they are threatened.  But the Brady Campaign gun control group plans to run ads reading, "Warning: Florida residents can use deadly force.  If you are involved in a traffic accident or near-miss, remain in your car and keep your hands in plain sight.  If someone appears to be angry with you, maintain to the best of your ability a positive attitude and do not shout or make threatening gestures."  State tourism officials said the group is promoting their agenda with scare tactics that threaten to harm Florida tourism workers.

*  So they shot them in self-defense.


KILLING FIELDS RESTAURANT HAS FOOD TO DIE FOR
Try The Pol Pot Stickers - A theme restaurant has opened in Phnom Penh, Cambodia, called the "Khmer Rouge Experience Cafe."  It's meant to remind diners of Pol Pot's 1975-1979 "killing fields" genocide of up to 1.7 million people.  The waitresses wear the black fatigues of Maoist guerrillas, the music is propaganda songs from the '70s, and the menu offers such commie-torture cuisine as salted rice water and corn mixed with water and leaves.  But it seems most locals don't want to be reminded: the owner lamented that in two weeks, they've had only two customers, both Europeans.

*  And they haven't been seen since.
*  Europeans don't mind overlooking dictators' atrocities.
*  They were a Scotsman and an Englishman...It was the best meal they've ever had.
*  If I want to be tortured at a theme restaurant, I'll go to Planet Hollywood.
*  Worse, they're being sued by the Fashion Cafe for stealing their fashion models' menu.
*  Most '70s theme restaurants just torture the diners with disco music.



ALASKA AIRLINES DEBUTS FLYING FISH
Plane Weird - Saturday, Alaska Airlines debuted the "Salmon-Thirty-Salmon," a 110-foot jumbo jet painted to resemble a giant salmon. (Picture)  30 painters worked around the clock for 24 days to detail all the scales and fins.  It was created in partnership with the Alaska Fisheries Marketing Board, to publicize the role played by the airline in transporting Alaskan seafood.

*  And to provide Mile High Club members with a place to spawn.
*  But the salmon plane can only fly into the wind.


AIRPORT SECURITY COMPLAINTS  (CAREFUL! NOTE SUBJECT!)
Bazooka Joke - TheSmokingGun.com posted the Transportation Security Administration's compilation of complaints about airport security.  They include a woman who said the screening wand caused problems with her "magnetic breast implants;" a man with an outstanding warrant who called ahead to ask if he'd be arrested at the airport; a man complaining about a body search by "a colored operative" who seemed to be "enjoying some queer homosexual tendencies;" and a man who complained about his treatment after
he joked about carrying a bazooka.

*  And he wasn't even carrying it!  It was packed in his suitcase!
*  He was sent to a prison full of guys with queer homosexual tendencies.
*  That woman's magnetic breast implants always excite the wand.
*  The woman with magnetic breast implants has bigger problems now: she's stuck to her refrigerator and can't move.


 
TOP NYC HOOKER PLEADS INNOCENT
Frozen Assets - Natalia McLennan of Manhattan (pictures) pleaded not guilty to money laundering and prostitution, despite having bragged of being New York's #1 escort in a cover story for New York Magazine.  She claimed to charge $2,000 an hour and generate $1.5 million a year for a high-class Manhattan brothel, keeping 45 percent for herself.  She came to court in a miniskirt, see-through blouse and spike heels.  She could face up to 15 years in prison, but she claimed she had no idea she'd be held after the hearing.  She said she was unable to post $50,000 bail and sobbed uncontrollably as she was taken to jail in handcuffs.

*  She should be able to pay her bail soon: she charges $3,000 an hour for wearing handcuffs.
*  It was so humiliating!  They weren't even mink handcuffs!
*  It would be such a waste to send her to prison when she could be doing community service by servicing the community.
*  She thought they'd trust her: all the lawyers and judges know her EXTREMELY well.
*  She doesn't understand: Donald Trump brags to the media about screwing everyone in New York, and he's not arrested!



PINKY SWEAR: WOMAN WINS $369,000 FOR FINGER CUT
Dollars To Donuts - Australian pastry chef Robyn Vanessa Laybutt cut her little finger while reassembling a doughnut machine.  She said she told her bosses she didn't know how, but they didn't demonstrate how or give her a manual, and instead suggested she "just give it a go."  It was greasy, she didn't have gloves, and she sliced her pinky.  After a six-year legal fight, Australia's highest court found her employer negligent and upheld her lower court damage award of $369,000 (US).

*  Her legal fees: $370,000.
*  Her boss said he doesn't know how he'll pay that much, but the judges told him to "just give it a go."

FUGITIVE NABBED ON INTERNET BLIND DATE
Truly Flaky - Hungary's national police report that a prison escapee was captured after he posted an ad, complete with his photo, on an Internet dating website.  He exchanged e-mails with a woman, set up a date and even bought her a ring.  But when he showed up to meet her at a pastry shop, he discovered his date was not only a man, but also a police detective who arrested him.

*  But the criminal replied, "Nobody's perfect."
*  Still, as Internet blind dates go, this one wasn't that bad.
*  He asked for a second date...He's been in prison a long time.
*  He'd hoped he'd end the evening in handcuffs, but that's not what he had in mind.


JESUS PLAYING POKER AT LAST SUPPER
The Last Deal - The Irish bookmaking agency Paddy Power sparked outrage with an ad that shows DaVinci's "Last Supper" with the Disciples all holding cards, Jesus behind a stack of poker chips and Judas with 30 pieces of silver.  The slogan: "There's a place for fun and games."  A spokesman said they're sorry if people were offended, but it was tongue-in-cheek and won't be pulled.  They're used to controversy: a recent ad upset animal lovers by showing a rabbit with a missing foot and the caption, "Make your own luck."

*  Yeah, well, that's what Judas thought HE was doing.
*  In their next ad, Jesus heals the rabbit, then they go to Vegas together.
*  So, What Would Jesus Do?  Hold 'em or fold 'em?



MAN DESPERATE TO READ OLD BOOK
Reading Is Funda-mentally Retarded - Matthew Brooke, 26, was charged with felony theft in Madison, Wisconsin, after he allegedly smashed a display case at the Historical Society with his elbow, grabbed a bound copy of the Pennsylvania Evening Post from 1777, and stuffed it into his pants.  It's valued at $5,000, but Brooke told police that he took it because there was a story on page 106 about a historical figure named William Hill, and he wanted to read it.

*  Uh...it's on the Internet.
*  If only it hadn't been turned to page 104 in the display case!
*  The book was open to page 106, but he wanted to read it on the john.
*  At least it's good to hear that some young people are really into reading.



ERADICATING NEW CAR SMELL
This Stinks! - Japanese auto makers have become the first to start trying to reduce a scary health hazard: new car smell.  Research shows that the scent that makes people want new cars is the result of VOC's - "volatile organic compounds" - chemicals that leach from plastic, vinyl, paint and glue.  They've been linked to headaches, drowsiness, nausea, sore throats, and in prolonged heavy exposure, cancer.  All the top Japanese car makers are changing their formulas and installing air filters to remove VOC's, and US automakers are expected to follow suit soon.

*  But then, there'll be NO reason to buy an American car!
*  VOC's must also cause brain damage, which would explain a lot of the driving.
*  The sore throat is just from yakking on your cell phone.
*  Soon, to get that new car smell, you'll have to fill your back seat with inflatable beach toys.



MAN PUTS $63,400 ON HIS AM-EX CARD TO IMPRESS MODEL
"Aviva" Is Italian For "Sucker" - At the Aviva Bar at the tony Baglioni Hotel in Kensington, England, an anonymous American hedge fund manager tried to impress supermodel Jasmine Lennard by whipping out his black American Express card.  Before the night ended, he'd bought Lennard and everyone one else there - most of whom had no idea what was going on - $63,400 (US) worth of champagne and cocktails.  But Lennard didn't leave with him.  She said he was "very sweet," but "it was not quite enough to make me leave my boyfriend.  Maybe he could try diamonds next time!"

*  Man, I would hate to have her boyfriend's American Express bill!
*  $63,400 wouldn't even cover Kate Moss's cocaine bill.
*  Let me get this straight: his JOB is to recognize smart investments?!


PARIS HILTON ENGAGEMENT OFF
Too Sexy For My In-Laws - Paris Hilton announced that she has ended her engagement to Greek shipping heir Paris Latsis.  She did not comment on reports that his parents saw stills from her porn video and banned her from the family.  She just released a statement to Us Weekly saying she's "so sad," but "I've realized that this is the right decision for me.  We remain best of friends, and I'll always love him.  I hope people will respect my privacy during this emotional time."  No word on what happened to the $5 million diamond ring he gave her.

*  It's like the wedding: it'll never come off.
*  How can you not respect the privacy of someone who sends a press release to Us Weekly, asking for privacy?
*  She needs to meet up with that idiot with the black American Express card.
*  Paris just could not bring herself to marry a man whose family would disinherit him if he did.



NEWS ROUND-UP
He Plays A Singer!  I'm Laughing Already! - Former "American Idol" contestant Constantine Maroulis has signed a deal to star in a sitcom pilot for ABC.  He told People magazine that being on "AI" was "the best thing that's ever happened" to him, and "I'm not cursed with that stigma of being the American Idol."  He also said Quentin Tarantino told him he'd be a big star.

*  And who knows more about sitcom humor than Quentin Tarantino?



O.J. Simpson signed autographs at a horror fan convention in Los Angeles

* While there, he tried on Freddy Kruger's gloves, but insisted they didn't fit.

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