Thriller a Cruel Picture (1974), which has also been called They Call Her One Eye is a Swedish made revenge film, and possibly the most extreme revenge film ever made. Christina Lindberg makes Rambo look like a pussie. She is molested as a young girl, an experience that left her speechless. She is now a young woman, still seeing a shrink and hoping to get her voice back, but living otherwise happily on her parents farm. While she is waiting for a bus to get to her doctors appointment, a strange man picks her up, talks her into going home with him, gives her a knockout drop, hooks her on heroin, makes her sign a letter to her parents saying that she hates them and never wants to see them again, then forces her to turn tricks. Oh, and when she tries to run, he cuts out one of her eyes, hence the alternate title.

When she learns that her parents committed suicide because of the letter, she gets mad and gets even. With her tips, she studies martial arts, shooting, and advanced driving skills. This training is intercut with her day job, which includes several minutes of hard core sex. I am guessing that the hard core content was cut in, and not actually Lindberg, but she does show everything several times. Despina Tomazani briefly reveals her breasts in a lesbian scene with her. The last act contains her revenge spree, which is brutal, explicit and merciless.

IMDb readers have this at 6.6 of 10. Synapse films did a wonderful job on this film, restoring all of the footage cut in various countries. In fact, this may be the first time an uncut version has ever been seen. There is both a Swedish and a dubbed English sound track, and the English dubbing is very well done. There are a ton of special features, including a bunch of publicity stills of Lindberg naked. This is a strong C+. If you like revenge thrillers and don't mind the nudity and hard core sex, this is your Mecca.

• Charlie's French Cinema Nudity site is updated.

Dream On:

We finally received one of the items from our DVD wish list: Dream On, a titillating and humorous HBO series. Brian Benben stars as a newly-divorced dreamer whose romantic adventures are pictured through the things he knows best - B&W scenes from the childhood he spent in front of the TV.

IMDb says: 'John Landis' was asked by Universal to see if he could make a show out of all the old TV programs that Universal owned from the 1950s, a lot of which were anthology shows. Landis then asked some writers to come up with an idea. This was the result.

I like this show. The writers came up with some astoundingly funny old clips, the parallel "contemporary" material was reasonably cute, and a lot of the women took off their clothes. My admiration for HBO has been no secret through the years. HBO has been to the last two decades what Disney was to the mid twentieth century - the quality standard. Whether they succeed or fail, they do a first-class job at everything, they are not afraid to take chances, but they are not airy-fairy and they are not afraid of the mainstream either.

The first DVD set includes seasons 1 and 2, the first 28 episodes.

Here's the summary of the nudity in the first 14 episodes, representing all of Season 1, which aired in 1990:

Episode 1: The First Episode. Not much nudity, but scream queen Laura Albert (1, 2) looked great tied to a bed, covered with whipped cream. See her topless in Party Plane and Dr Alien (encyclopedia).

Episode 2: Death Takes a Coffee Break. Nice nudity. Playing a college girl, Jeannine Renshaw seduces Martin by removing her shirt. I think this is your one and only chance to see her stuff. Jeannine gave up on acting and became a writer. She wrote several episodes of Angel.

Episode 3: Sex and the Single Father. Nice nudity. Susan Lentini is topless in broad daylight, in one of Martin's daydreams. Lentini has no encyclopedia entry, and was out of show business by 1995, based on her IMDb entries. Martin (Brian Benben) also shows his bum.

Episode 6: ... and Sheep are Nervous. Almost no nudity. DeDee Pfeiffer did a sex scene, but DeDee wasn't into nudity in those days.

Episode 8: Martin Gets Lucky. Nice, if somewhat dark, sex scene between Martin and Dierdre Imerschein (1, 2). Dierdre eventually moved to the other side of the camera, and has no performing credits after 1997.

Episode 12: 555-Hell. Martin knocks on the wrong door and is greeted by a hooker expecting a client with specialized tastes! The hooker in question was one of our familiar faces, Monique Gabrielle (1, 2). I assume you all know who she is if you are reading this page.

Other Crap:

• The most beloved movie of the '90s was considered the third-best film in 1994.
• Cubs fine Sammy $87,000 for not giving a shit!
• Czech sex diva taps into trend in porn industry advice books
• The Daily Show discusses the VP debate: "The VP debate came down to a battle between the student council kiss-ass and the troll under the bridge. "
• The Daily Show discusses the VP debate: "The VP debate came down to a battle between student council kissass and troll under the bridge. "
• Guard: halt! There were no WMDs in Iraq. Darth Cheney: that proves we should have invaded. Guard (holding throat): that proves we should have invaded. Move along.
• Zogby poll shows Kerry winning in 13 of the 16 battleground states!
• Iraq's tourism chief, Ahmed al-Jobori, has urged visitors to stay away.
  • World's worst job: paid on commission to increase Iraqi tourism. World's best job: paid a flat salary to be in charge of Iraqi tourism.
  • al-Jabori's to-do list for today: (1) make speech, tell tourists to say away (2) long lunch at Baghdad Hooters
• Top 10 Unintentionally Funny Movies. As I see it, this list could not be valid. "Road House" is not on it. (Although I give points to the author for referring to Keanu Reeves, Patrick Swayze, and Gary Busey as the Unintentional Comedy Triumverate.)
• The Associated Press poll actually shows Kerry ahead 50-46 among registered voters. Amazing! I few weeks ago I was talking about Kerry heading into McGovern country!  
• NFL Players Poll: Who is the strongest guy in the league?
• When Antoine Fuqua left the project, Universal decided to pull the plug on the $80 million Denzel Washington movie, American Gangster.
• Highlights from the New York film festival.
• Pastor's R-rated film tackles sex abuse: T.D. Jakes in theaters with 'Woman, Thou Art Loosed'"
• Stacy Fuson, February 1999 Playmate - Free Gallery Courtesy of PlayboyPlus.com!
• Four free short films from Playboy's Twins & Sisters!
• A Brit TV station is under fire for showing a woman masturbating a pig. She was collecting his semen for insemination purposes. And I thought I had a lousy job. One viewer noted, "There are certain things you can get along quite nicely in life without knowing and pig semen collecting is probably one of them."
• A Look at the Toys of Christmas (Near) Future
• KERRY: I WILL FIX MOUNT ST. HELENS. Bush "In Denial" About Volcano, Senator Charges
• FIRST SHIPMENT OF NEGATIVE ADS ARRIVES IN AFGHANISTAN. Important Step Forward for Fledgling Democracy
• Here's an exclusive first-ever look at the trailer for Coach Carter, a basketball movie starring Samuel L.
• The first-ever look at the Fat Albert trailer
• Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day might make a nice desktop.
• Irrelevant Pop Stars Unite Against Bush
• Just in case you made the same fatal error as John Kerry and forgot Poland, the Mayor of Warsaw announced that he intends to ban the 'world sexual championships' due to open this week in the Polish capital.
• Island Fever 3 - Tommy Lee's new girlfrend, Jesse Jane - is the star of this movie . She looks just like a younger version of Pam Anderson. The other star of the film is Tera Patrick, who is also with a rocker - she's married to Biohazard's Evan Seinfeld.

Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Words from Scoop.

.avi's from Shiloh.

.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

NOTE: because of a unique combination of circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a picture. When you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.

I know this is not especially convenient, but it allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips altogether.

Here's Mimi and Jeff Bridges in The Door in the Floor

• Review

• .avi zipped

• .wmv zipped

Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

Shiloh says:

FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.

 

When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

A reader says:

You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you or your users.

Scoop says:

I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

There is this production company, the name of which I cannot remember, that puts out erotic costume dramas. All their stuff, like 13 Erotic Ghosts, involves people either going back in time to hump, going forward in time to hump, being visited by folks back in time to hump or being visited by folks in the future to hump.

Diary of Lust is one of the going back in time to hump members of this genre. There's this castle, see. And someone found this diary in it, see. And a bunch of gals and a few guys gather around to have it read to them, see. And they all hump. guys and gals, gals and gals, guys and gals and gals... all of them... hump... see. End of humping story.

So the trick to all this is simple: if the plot blows... and it does... and the dialogue sucks... and it does...then the gals doing the sport-nasty had better be: a) plentiful and b) the best that money can buy. Or else you got yourself a problem there, Scooter: namely, if your movie catches fire, no one will even bother to piss on it.

The gals here are not plentiful, unless you consider four plentiful, which it probably would be if, say, it were four pairs of twins. But it's not. It's four. One, two, three, four.

And since one of the four is Susan Featherly (who goes here by the name of Michelle Turner) and another is Julia Kruis and the two of them have never been mistaken for fashion models... well there's that problem again, Scooter.

Third gal is Mia, who I've decided hereafter to label as Ava Lake, only because someone has to step up and halt the madness. This is Ava-Mia before she became a walking, talking cantiloupe patch. Does a couple of scenes with a guy; one with a second gal. She looks okay, but just to show you how much of a babe she had been I'm sending along caps from a trailer to Auditions from Beyond (1999). Then, as opposed to now, she looked fantastic. So what the hell happened in five short years?

Fourth gal is Caroline Key Johnson, an endomorphic package of cuteness. Just 'cause everyone else was doing it, she used another name: Cara Keys. Caroline's been in a lot of Showtime and Cinemax late night shows, but she's not nearly so over-exposed as Julia, Susan and Ava-Mia. Good to see her nekkid, and so I capped the bejeebers out of her scenes. Lots of girl-on-girl stuff with Susan Featherly.

Well, then, what ya got? Dumb movie, mind-rotting dialogue and only four nekkid gals, three of whom have looked better elsewhere. Caroline is left to do the heavy lifting and there's only so much that cuteness can cover. A rock-solid D- by anyone's figuring.

The exposure rundown:

Ava-Mia wth two B's in the Diary caps, three B's in the Auditions caps.

• Ava Lake (1, 2)
• Ava Lake from "Auditions from Beyond".

Caroline in 10 collages. all of them double-B In the first six, she and Susan go diving for muff as a guy watches from a jail cell. This is not a castle; it's Abu Ghraib. Some more romping about with Susan and another guy in the last four.

• Caroline Key Johnson (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

Julia in seven collages. Boobs in 1-3 and in number 7; her terrifo-bum comes along for the ride in 4 & 5... and then there is number 6. She's face up on her back, Ava-Mia is on top of her and there's a guy supposedly doing Ava-Mia in the canine fashion. Why mention it? Well, for four frames, as Ava-Mia pushes back, Julia's holiest of holies is revealed to the camera. If this were a British tabloid, I'd have painted on an arrow to point out the hot spot. But I'm figuring my fellow Funhouse readers will know where to look.

• Julia Kruis (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

Last up is Susan Featherly. A triple B for her. Collage 4 is most interesting. She swings her leg 'round and points herself toward the gyno-cam. Looks like she be wearing one of those do-not-pass-go patches. How disappointing, but what a terrific metaphor for the whole damn mess.

• Susan Featherly (1, 2, 3, 4)

Today the Ghost takes a look at the Canadian Sci-Fi/Thriller, "X Change" (2000).

• Janet Kidder (Lois Lane's niece) topless in a spirited sex scene. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
• Janet Kidder zipped .wmv

• Lisa Bronwyn Moore, toplessness, plus brief views of the other two B's while she rides a dude. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
• Lisa Bronwyn Moore zipped .wmvs (1, 2)

• Pascale Bussières, the French-Canadian actress bares her breasts in a slow moving love scene. (1, 2)
• Pascale Bussières zipped .wmv

Troma regular Tiffany Shepis goes topless and shows some rear nudity in link #1.

Nector Rose looks fantastic while topless in a love scene. You might not recognize her here, but most of us have seen her in "Not Another Teen Movie"...she played one half of the conjoined Fratelli twins.

TRUMP EYES MOVE INTO FICTIONAL TV
His "Business Genius" Isn't Fiction Enough? - "The Apprentice" isn't enough for Donald Trump: he's pitching NBC on the idea of a "Dynasty"-like primetime soap opera called "Trump Tower." It would be shot in New York and show the sex, drama and scheming of fictional guests and staffers at Trump's hotel. Trump is too busy to star, so he wants to hire an actor to play himself.