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Tuna
"Deathbed"

Deathbed (2002 video), or Death Bed, if I believe the box, is not a bad horror film. A young couple rents the upper floor of a converted warehouse. She discovers a metal frame bed in a locked room, and the two of them start having odd nightmares and hallucinations. Seems the room was the scene of several unsolved murders, and the ghosts are pissed, and bent on revenge. I will stop there on the plot, as many of you might want to rent this one.

Tanya Dempsey as the wife shows great buns wearing a thong, and a down shirt that shows a nipple. Meagan Mangum as the ghost has lovely breast exposure during one of the hallucinations. It is too new for IMDB to have an opinion. It gets a little muddled near the end, but it held my interest, and the ending came as a surprise. The gore was very light for a horror film. C+

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  • Meagan Mangum (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
  • Tanya Dempsey (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    "Scandal: The Big Turn On"

    Scandal: The Big Turn On (2000) is that rare occurrence where a soft core actually has a plot. It is a spoof on private eye yarns. Ray Mallory (Jessie Coleman), after finishing up with a female client (Alexandra Harlan), is hired by a man to get proof that his stripper wife Holly (Shauna O'Brien), is cheating on him. Mallory gets the proof, and is amazed when his photos end up in the tabloids the next day, and the man with Holly is a congressional hopeful. Mallory is hired by the wife of the congressman, Kim Dawson, to find Holly. Along the way, he runs into Candy (Callie Thomas), who is an adult star, and former hooker.

    Nudity is as follows:

    Harlan, Dawson and Michelle Hall (Mallory's secretary) breasts and buns.

    O'Brien and Thomas, all three Bs in several scenes each.

    The few who have voted at IMDB have this at 7.3 of 10, praising the fact that it is a soft core with a story. As a matter of fact, this could have been a good potboiler with a little more effort. The sex scenes went on too long, becoming somewhat tedious, they didn't do quite enough character development, and the plot got a little over-complicated near the end. They could have done a little more in the way of atmosphere as well. Take away the nudity, and it would be a D+, but, with all the exposure, it is a C+ as a soft core -- not quite I like to Play Games or Warm Texas Rain, but much better than average for the genre.

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  • Alexandra Harlan (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
  • Callie Thomas (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21)
  • Kim Dawson (1, 2, 3)
  • Michelle Hall (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
  • Shauna O'Brien (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
    Movies:

    Mad Dog and Glory. What can you say? Timid, lonely cop saves gangster's life. Gangster gives lonely cop a hot babe for a week of sporthumpin'. Lonely cop falls in love, must confront bad guy. Roger Ebert gave it 3.5 stars. I found it watchable, pleasant, occasionally fun, but not three and a half stars worth. In contrast, James Berardinelli gave it 2 stars. If I had to pick a number of stars, it would be somewhere in between, probably 2.5. It is kinda fun to see DeNiro sing and play a pussy, and I did enjoy some nudity from Uma, who has not been that generous with her screen exposure.

    • Uma Thurman (1, 2, 3)

    Updates:

    • New Encyclopedia volumes for Priscilla Barnes, Neda Arneric, Rita Calderoni, Hope Marie Carlton and Melissa Carlton

    Other crap:

     

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Graphic Response
    Nudity from the 1997 indie film, "Going All the Way".

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

    Brainscan
    A follow up from yesterday...

    The missing explicit pics of Cory Lane, aka Teresa Langley.

    • Cory/Teresa (1, 2)

    Spaz
    'Caps and comments by Spaz:

    "Cannibal Holocaust" (1979) is the mother of all cannibal films!

    Francesca Ciardi plays one of the filmmakers who gets alot of exposure. Including:

    There is alot more nudity by the natives but it involves muddy rape scenes and unspeakable gore. The VHS and DVD versions seems to be only available on eBay.

    Variety
    Carmen Electra
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    This seems oddly appropriate since I'm currently visiting Holland....Here is Carmen barely dressed in the Dutch Maxim. #1 and #7 have the most cleavage.

    Lea Thompson A then 21 year old Thompson looking fantastic showing breasts and a hint of bush in scenes from "All the Right Moves". Great collage by Dann.

    Alice Dodd
    (1, 2)

    The super model posing for the men's magazine, DT. #1 is a fully nude side view with partial bum and slight hint of nipple. #2 has the ol' arm over boobs thing, but again, with just a hint of nipple making an appearance.

    Pamela Bowman
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    The obbscure 80's actress showing off some very nice breast and bum exposure in scenes from the old HBO series "The Hitchhiker". From the episode: "When Morning Comes", by Señor Skin.

    Susan George
    (1, 2)

    The UK actress appearing topless in the 1971 movie "Straw Dogs"

    Gisele Bundchen
    (1, 2)

    The Brazilian born, mega-ultra-super model looking fantastic in some Victoria's secret undies.

    Katarina Witt The figure skater and sometimes actress cupping her breasts and showing a bunch of cleavage. Thanks to Jedilein.

    Naomi Watts
    and
    Laura Harring
    Toplessness and a little lesbo lovin in scenes from the David Lynch movie "Mulholland Dr.", by FinnCap.

    Frederique van der Wal The Dutch model/actress topless and baring a bit of bum. A very nice collage by Desparado.

    Pat Reeder The Comedy Wire
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    IRAQ THREAT IS NOT "MUST-SEE" TV
    But Give Us A GOOD Reason! - Monday night, President Bush made the case for not waiting longer to take action against Saddam Hussein. Bush said Hussein is a murderous tyrant who gases his own people, sponsors terrorism, gives al-Qaeda terrorists from Afghanistan refuge, and is stockpiling chemical and biological weapons and rebuilding his facilities to make a nuclear bomb that he would give to terrorists to use against America. Of the major broadcast networks, only Fox aired the speech, with ABC, CBS and NBC opting to air "Drew Carey," "King of Queens" and "Fear Factor" instead.

  • NBC thinks Joe Rogan is scarier than Saddam Hussein.
  • And on PBS, Bill Moyers was blaming Bush for not warning us that 9/11 was coming.
  • It must be the end of the world: Fox is now "The Responsible Network!"
  • Finding Saddam's smallpox lab would be easier than finding Bush's speech.
  • If Bush said Saddam owned HBO, maybe the networks would finally see him as a threat.
  • Saddam just wants to be loved, is that so wrong?!


    KLEPTOMANIACS WANTED
    A Gig For Winona Ryder - Stanford University has placed a help wanted ad for kleptomaniacs. They're doing a study of a new Prozac-like drug to see if it can help people with an uncontrollable urge to steal. Applicants must be at least 20 and have had kleptomania for about a year. There's no pay, but every kleptomaniac who's hired gets free drugs.

  • One way or another...
  • Kleptomaniacs already get free drugs...And everything else.
  • We know they'll take the drug because they take anything they can get their hands on.
  • If the drug cures their kleptomania, the scientists may HAVE to start paying them.


    SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS GAY?
    Of Course, He's Soft! He's A SPONGE! - The Wall St. Journal reports that SpongeBob Squarepants merchandise is selling so big to gay men, the producers are having to tell interviewers that SpongeBob is not gay. Some gay men think SpongeBob may be gay because of his sunny optimism and odd humor, he's soft and not very masculine, and his pals are an exuberant pink starfish named Patrick and a squid who sounds like Paul Lynde.

  • And because his pals call him "SpongeBob NoPants."
  • Maybe he's like a straight guy who happens to work in the theater.
  • SpongeBob isn't part of the gay culture, he's just absorbed it.