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"The Devil in Miss Jones: Part II" (1982)
The Devil in Miss Jones: Part II (1982), often referred to as DMJ2, is a case of the sequel being even better than the original. As you may recall, DMJ was about a spinster who had one regret upon death -- her virginity. The film is mostly a sensitive sexual awakening film, with a decent plot
for the genre, and a delicious ironic twist at the end. It was hugely popular and highly acclaimed, so a sequel was a cultural imperative. There was one problem to overcome. The sequel needed to be about Miss Jones, but Georgina Spelvin, from the neck up, was no longer prime fantasy material.
The writers found the perfect solution. Have the devil, or Lucifer (Luci for short), send her back to earth for more lust, but using others bodies. The film opens with the closing of DMJ, and then we are taken to the main building of hell. Here is where the film surpasses any other hard core I
have seen. We see Miss Jones (still Spelvin) getting head from Cyrano de Bergerac (look at the top images of Spelvin to see what I mean). As she nears orgasm, the "orgasm warning" sounds, and the "dickhead guards" (see the left top of each image) stop her. She is taken to a very debonair
Satan, and seduces him. In a weak moment, he agrees to send her back to Earth for a lifetime of lust.
He starts her in the body of a call girl, Jacqueline Lorians, but finds that he is insanely aroused by her, and very jealous. He decides to put her in a less lustful body, and chooses an Army private, Joanna Storm, only to have her invade the mens barracks showers, then seduce the captain. Next,
he tries the body of a "TupperWorld" saleswoman, Anna Ventura. By this time, the Devil's Advocate has figured out that the boss is in love, and hell might be ripe for a takeover. He changes the TupperWorld samples into adult toys, and Miss Jones is off to the races again. In desperation, Luci
tries her in a nun's body, but Saint Peter stops that foolishness, and demands she be put back into the call girl. Luci abdicates, and the two live happily ever after.
The physical comedy, sight gags, puns, and cerebral jokes are, for me, the highlight of this film. Every moment is stuffed with some gag. Ron Jeremy, for instance, as a dickhead guard, tries to suck himself off in a very brief scene. Cleopatra asks Marie Antoinette for head, but Marie declines.
"The last time I gave head to someone, they didn't return it." Not only is it a very good comedy, but it is good couples fare, as the Jones character is an assertive woman who demands and gets her pleasure, and initiates most of the sex. The film is shot with a minimum of monster shots and with faces visible most of the time. Director Henri Pachard is credited with 293 adult films, and this may well be his best.
If you are going to watch only one classic hard core with your significant other, this would be a very good choice. While the hard core elements are there, it is almost more comedy than adult entertainment, and the brevity of the sex scenes keeps them from becoming boring. The DVD transfer is not bad, and this was obviously mastered from a decent print. In the world of classic hard core, this is an A+. As a film, it gets the highest grade I will give a hard core, C+.
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Anna Ventura
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Georgina Spelvin
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Jacqueline Lorians
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Joanna Storm
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"The Ultimate Weapon" (1997)
As I keep mentioning, I always appreciate requests for film projects, as finding material is my least favorite part. The person who has sent me the most is our Canadian expert, Spaz, and this is one of his suggestions. I have learned many things since joining Fun House, and one of them is,
ALWAYS believe Spaz. I had this film on hand, and had watched it, but for some reason I had forgotten, did not cap it. Spaz wrote, "Hulk Hogan vehicle. The only nudity is provided by some no-name robo-hooter strippers. But Cynthia Preston shows some major buns in a pole dance." As usual, Spaz had it exactly right. Spaz, thanks for all the tips, and keep them coming.
Re-watching, I remembered why I had passed the first time around. It is not an especially good film, and I was very irritated but the lack of topless nudity from the credited actresses. Lucky for us that Spaz saw the glass as half full, not half empty, as the butt exposure in garters and butt-floss
thongs is worth the price of admission. The plot, not that it matters much, has the Hulkster as a career mercenary who is double-crossed, and does in the people who did it. The bad guys are not thrilled, and threaten him, his estranged daughter (Preston as a stripper that doesn't strip), his
girlfriend, and probably his gold fish. In this particular bout, the Hulkster is still a good guy, and the good guys are supposed to win by pin.
IMDB readers say 3.6/10 which I would say is a little low. Preston's buns alone rate that much, and the photography is quite good. It belongs in the low Cs or high Ds. Lets give it C-.
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Cyndy Preston
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| Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
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Lethal Weapon 2 is a movie that you are all familiar with. I revisited it because I wanted to re-do the Patsy Kensit collages for the Encyclopedia update. After I did so, I read that the film has been re-mastered in an anamorphically enhanced DVD with DTS sound and three additional minutes of footage. Unfortunately, I didn't have that to work from, and these collages are from the old, letterboxed DVD. The love scene was faded and dark. Good movie, however.
- Patsy Kensit
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- There is another new section in the Encyclopedia in the new format, with info, chronology, and thumbnails. This is found in the K area, and is dedicated to Patsy Kensit. Link to the Encyclopedia of Naked Celebrities from the main members' links page
Replicant is the latest from Van Damme, directed by the legendary Hong Kong action king, Ringo Lam. Van Damme plays a dual role for the third time in his life! I hate to admit it, but this is a surprisingly good fantasy/SF cops-'n-crooks movie, albeit totally humorless and grim. Unfortunately, none of the cops were werewolves.
The DVD features full-length commentary from JC. I'm not sure which language he is speaking, but I know he brought us yet one step closer to "warald piss", and that might be good. Anyone understand Esperanto? Let's ask Madonna - isn't that her native language now?
No nudity in the film proper. Only male nudity in the deleted scenes.
Chasing Sleep is an offbeat thriller in which Jeff Daniels is on camera nearly 100% of the time. Daniels plays a guy who wakes up from an afternoon nap to find out that his wife has disappeared. As he wonders where she is, he has trouble sleeping, loses track of large blocks of time, and gradually loses his mind. Or maybe he had already lost it before the film began.
Pretty cool movie. Kind of a zero-budget Memento. Filmed in Chelsea, Michaigan because - well, because daniels lives there, and how else would you get him to appear in a zero budget film?
- Emily Bergl (The chick from Carrie 2)
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| | Graphic Response
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Vidcaps from "Saving Silverman" (2001)
Amanda Detmer, bare bum (a stunt butt?) and arm over boobs exposure.
Amanda Peet unfortunately keeping her lovely breasts covered...although just barely.
Odessa Munroe, topless playing ping pong.
Tracy Trueman, winner of the best breasts award for this movie.
Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.
| Nicnac
| |
An amazing find...Josie Bissett nude (pre Melrose) in the Joe D'Amato, Euro-softcore movie, "Desire" (1990).
Comments by Nicnac:
Here she is, in all her pre-op glory, from the uncut version (considerably longer and more nude, than the R version). This has to be some of the most nudity in a single movie by any actress who went on to some measure of success (other than a porn or soft-porn actress).
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Josie Bissett
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| HBS Grafix
| | Jessica Moore |
Very nice full frontal nudity in scenes from Euro-softcore director Joe D'Amato's movie "Top Model" (1987).
| | Heike Makatsch |
The German actress and 3 other unknown ladies all go topless in these 'caps from "Aimée & Jaguar" (1999).
| | Virginia Wetherell |
A classic moment in screen nudity. Vidcaps from "A Clockwork Orange".
| | Lisa Niemi |
Mrs. Patrick Swayze goes full frontal, and shows her bare bum too in 1987's "Slamdance".
| | Blackshine
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More from the psychedelic colors series.
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Raquel Zimmermann
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| Claire Forlani
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Vidcaps from "AntiTrust" (2001), by C2000. Claire unfortunately doesn't get nekkid, but I've always liked her. Plus, as we can see in link #2, she has been using an ab-dominator, and nothing says lovin' like a chick with great abs. Click here for Scoop's funny review.
| Susanne Bormann
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The young, busty, and blonde German actress goes topless and full frontal in scenes from "Raus aus der Haut" (1997). Thanks to UC99.
| Maria Conchita Alonso
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The Latina actress wearing a shear dress while out in public. There is some see-thru-ness, but the lighting just wasn't there for the original picture to make the best of it. Link #1 is how I found it in my in-box. Link #2 is a very quick edit I did to bring out the see-thru goodies a tad.
| | Michelle Krusiec |
DAI's version of the her nakedness in the HBO series "Mind of the Married Man".
| Jordan
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aka...British pin up babe, Katie Price. Here she is showing off her 8 pounds of silicone for the cover and pages of Ice magazine. Is it me, or do the guys at Ice need a few lessons in Photoshop? Check out link #2 and you see what I mean.
| Ophélie Winter
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Not the best topless paparazzi pics, but the Euro-actress does have a darn good body! On a side note, you'll notice in link #2 that she looks completely different topless in the pics the link shows. Well there is a reason for that...she's had not one, but two breast reduction surgeries. Personally, I like the smaller Ophélie better. Thanks to Aussie for the scans.
| | The Funnies by Number 6
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Q: How do you play Taliban bingo?
A: B-52...F-16...B-1...
Q: How is Bin Laden like Fred Flintstone?
A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.
Q: Why does the Iraqi Navy have glass bottom boats?
A: So they can see their Air Force.
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