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French Cinema Nudity is updated
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* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).
* White asterisk:
expanded format.
*
Blue asterisk: not mine.
No asterisk: it probably
sucks.
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OTHER CRAP:
Catch the deluxe
version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles,
here.
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Dangerous Prey
(1995)
Dangerous Prey is a lesser offering from Lloyd Simandl, the
master of Czechsploitation films. It
stars Shannon Whirry, who plays a stunt woman staying in Europe.
When her boyfriend is rousted by the police for terrorism, she is
also arrested and convicted of something or other. On her way to
prison, a secret group springs her, takes her to their laboratory,
and starts training her to be an assassin. She has aptitude and
attitude. Shannon and her new partner (Kiara Hunter) are given
lethal remote-controlled implants to control them, and are led to
believe that once they perform a successful mission, they are free.
Shannon figures out quickly that nobody has ever gone free.
There is a reasonably hot sex scene with Whirry at the start,
but the assassination scenes are not exploited, and there is too
much time spent chasing around through the usual familiar corridors
of Simandl's studio. Fans of Shannon Whirry, Kiara Hunter and Lloyd Simandl
may want it in their collections, but even they will be hard-pressed
to find much to enjoy, and the film is not recommended to others
outside those groups.
It has never been released in the US on DVD, but is available
from RLDVDs.com on a Region 0 Dutch release in English with Dutch
subtitles.
IMDb: 3.8
Our grade: D
Full frontal and rear nudity from Shannon Whirry,
Daniela Krhutova, Beatrice de Borg and an unknown. Kiara Hunter
shows breasts and buns.
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Notes and collages
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Britney's bald beaver
The first and third one are variations of the same picture. The smaller
one is sharper and has no obnoxious watermark.
 
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Beyonce
No flesh, but nice to look at. Warning: the
bikini pics are big-ass downloads, as large as some film clips.
 
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A film clip of Cate
Blanchett's brief nude scene in Little Fish, as seen in slo-mo |
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Dial: Help
An evil telephone (really, who hasn't had one), falls for a model,
Charlotte Lewis (with the way she looks here I can understand a phone
coming to life) and starts killing everyone related to her. When the
phone is not killing the people by itself, it hypnotizes them and
makes them commit suicide, and there is no escape from it, since it
controls every telephone out there.
Beware of the ring, ring!
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Tomboy
For a golden oldie, how's 1985's comedy Tomboy, with well-endowed Betsy
Russell and Kristi Somers? It's a typical 80's sexy teen comedy, but hey,
it does make you laugh, if only from some of the lame lines.
Betsy Russell plays Tommie (the only name they used in the film), a
tomboy mechanic who rides a motorcycle and whose passion is building and
driving racecars. Her hero is racecar driver Randy Starr, who races for
the local team owned by a rich spoiled-brat type who inherited the team
from his father. Oh, and he's called Junior, which is real original.
When she eventually meets Randy, they of course fall in love, but
because of her competitive nature, they also wind up racing one another.
I'll let you guess who wins.
Dumb and lame, but still funny, maybe because of it's lameness, and
there's some gorgeous and large natural hooters floating around this
flick, so if nothing else, it's a capper's classic.
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| Betsy Russell |
Kristi Somers |
Michelle Bauer, others |
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The Comedy Wire
Jimmy Carter is blasting the way President Bush is handling Iran. He
told Boston's WBZ-AM that Bush should be doing more talking and diplomacy.
Referring to the diplomats held captive by Iran for 444 days of his
administration, Carter declared, "We still maintained diplomatic relations with
Iran--in fact, that's proven by the fact that my hostages were in Tehran."
* Jimmy Carter criticizing the way anyone else handles
Iran is sort of like Britney Spears criticizing your parenting skills.
* Asking Bush to do more talking is like asking Bjork to do more singing.
Ziji Publishing surveyed Britons to ask, "If a killer asteroid were about to
destroy the Earth in one hour, what would you do?" 54 percent said they would
go to or phone their loved ones. 13 percent would drink champagne and sit and
wait for the end. Only 9 percent would have sex, while 3 percent would pray, 2
percent would eat fatty foods, and another 2 percent would start looting.
* Then they could watch the end of the world on a big
screen TV.
A judge agreed to let Britney Spears have monitored, overnight visitation with
her kids one night a week. Her lawyer is now pushing to have Britney's mom
appointed as the monitor.
* Great idea! Who knows more about how to raise kids
than the mother of Britney Spears?
The Institute of Motion Analysis and Research in Dundee, Scotland, could find no
substantial difference between cheaper running shoes and those costing over
$150.
* Except the really expensive ones tended to be
worn by stupid people.
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