True Romance (1993) is written by Quentin Tarantino and directed by Tony Scott. It has the classic Tarantino action and violence, but is a little less raw under Scott's direction than Pulp Fiction. The cast includes Christian Slater, Patricia Arquette, Dennis Hopper, Val Kilmer, Gary Oldman, Brad Pitt, Christopher Walken, Bronson Pinchot, Samuel L. Jackson and Michael Rapaport.

Christian Slater works in Detroit in a comic book store. On his birthday, the owner buys him a hooker (Patricia Arquette) for the night, but has her pretend to meet him in a theater by "accident." By the time she has done what she was paid to do, she has fallen in love with Slater. When Slater returns her affection, even after she admits how they really met, they get married. Slater decides to punish the pimp that Arquette worked for, and goes to his place to get her things and get even. He does both, in spades, but with one small complication. What he thought were her things was in fact a suitcase with a million in cocaine.

The two head off to LA to make a quick sale, then head off on their honeymoon. The Mafioso who actually owned the cocaine is hot on their trail. Before the film ends, you will lose track of guns, shots, wounds, etc. There was real chemistry between Arquette and Slater, the entire cast was strong, and the plot had more than enough pace to keep me interested. IMDB viewers agree at 7.5/10, and the major critics have it between 2.5 and 3 stars. I enjoyed it.

Tomcat's tribute to Ewa Gawryluk

TomCat did a few movies and assembled a few other things: (TomCat's comments)

"Wielka Wsypa" (The Big Slip-up) 1992 directed by Jan Lomnicki (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

This takes place during the time of Solidarnosc in Poland. Some people are persecuted for their political views. The police are on their way to find people who were trading hard currency, which was illegal. Turns out the head of the ring is from a very noble old polish name, descended from dukes. He is arrested and imprisoned as leader of political opposition. After some months Solidarity defeats the communists and he is free with. Ewa Gawryluk is a prostitute in the time before prison, and the girlfriend of a communist police colonel after he is released.

"Sztos" 1998 directed by Olaf Lubaszenko (1)

This is also a movie about hard currency traders (cinkciarz). In this case, they are pure swindlers. The lead character is looking for a sucker, but he gets stung himself, and the movie is about his revenge. Ewa Gawryluk is a girl of the cinkciarz. When he was in prison, she was the lover of his friend, but she returns to him when he is released. The captures also feature the very famous polish actor Cezary Pazura.

"House" (TV Series)(1)

This is a TV series about a single house in Warsaw, tracing its occupants from the end of the war until now.

Unknown movie captures. All from the same movie, but which one? (1, 2, 3)

Various pictures of Ewa, both scans and captures. The first is probably the most impressive. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

Drowning on Dry Land (1999)

from Johnny Web

I'm not sure if I'm proud or ashamed of the fact that I'm willing to sit through a movie like this in order to see Barbara Hershey naked in the last couple of minutes. Man, does this bite the big one.

Barbara Hershey is an unhappy Manhattanite who hails a cab and says "take me to the desert". Naveen Andrews is the cab driver who takes her on a seven day fare. The "trailer" for this - I used quotes because I can't imagine that anybody ever saw this trailer, since the film had no theatrical release - but anyway, the trailer said it was "an erotic adventure".

Sure, if your idea of eroticism is to see a 50 year old woman stay dressed for 85 minutes while she makes love with an unattractive and flabby guy whose body hair places him in the celebrity pantheon somewhere between Ed Asner and Gentle Ben.

Or maybe it's a romance - if your idea of romance is to see the interaction between two people who hate themselves and each other. (And whom we hate in turn)

By the way, it ends kind of in the middle of the trip, with nothing much resolved or moved forward.

Good stuff.

Pretty sure it went straight to vid. IMDB says that this movie was nominated for The Golden Spur at the Flanders International Film Festival. Maybe ICMS, our Flemish Flash, would care to enlighten us as to the significance of this honor.

NUDITY: Hershey finally did get naked - pubes and all - in some pretty explicit action in the last five minutes. She still looks terrific, and is in top physical condition. But if you rent it, fast forward to the end (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

Our colleague, Unique1, also did several captures from this movie. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

IMDB summary: 7.0 out of 10. (Based on five votes. I feel confident that it will wander down to the five range. It's rated 59 by Apollo, 60 by Apollo users)

DVD info from Amazon.

Brazil (1985) from Johnny Web

The Criterion collection 3-DVD set of "Brazil" is a tremendous addition to the collection of any film buff.

First of all, it includes the entire 142 minute cut that Terry Gilliam wanted. If you know a little bit about this movie, you know that Gilliam had to fight for more than a year to get this film released at all. He even took out ads in the trades saying things like "where is my movie?". Eventually, he managed to negotiate a 131 minute version, although the studio also prepared a 94 minute version that they preferred.

The studio hated the bleak ending which was so totally emotionally unsatisfying. Gilliam argued that it would be plumb stupid to have a happy ending in a movie about a dehumanized bureaucratic society. His whole point was that the individual was submerged in the society, and it couldn't follow from the script that one little bureaucrat could somehow triumph over an institutionalized behemoth, although he might fantasize about it.

This DVD set includes all of the usual bells and whistles, plus:

• the full widescreen 142 minute cut
• the 94 minute cut
• full-length commentary
• "The production notebook", featuring the screenwriter, composer and designers
• "What is Brazil" - a funny 30 minute film made on the set.
• "The Battle of Brazil" - a documentary of Gilliam's battles against the studio

"Brazil" is a unique film from an imaginative genius. The original vision was to extend a view of the future as seen from the past. Remember all of those "Popular Science" magazines which pictured the world we would live in? Well, imagine a world absorbed by Bauhaus and Art Deco, ruled by Stalin and Hitler, and imagine how the people of that time would imagine your life today. They would take the trends of the day, both political and artistic, and extend them.

Gilliam held this concept quite consistently throughout, detouring only to deliver the occasional smirk based on knowing how it really did turn out. Jonathan Pryce stars as the insignificant bureaucrat whose only happy moments occur in the flights of his imagination, in which he soars like an angel and battles various symbols of the State Behemoth.

It is a visual masterpiece, no question about it, and there are moments and concepts I like very much, although the pacing is much too slow and the humor much too obvious for my taste. The whole schtick of the Monty Python troupe really came down to carrying all points out ad nauseum. As you know, sometimes it was very funny, and sometimes it was just guys acting silly after the joke was already over. There is a lot of that here, in my opinion.

But it's a world full of copycats and formulae, and when eccentric geniuses like Greenaway and Gilliam come along, we have to nurture them. Sometimes they may miss the mark, but we still need them.

I like Time Bandits, 12 Monkeys, The Fisher King and Holy Grail a lot. I'm not that crazy about Jabberwocky and I just plain didn't like Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. As far as Brazil goes, I admire it, but I wouldn't watch it over and over again, despite its brilliant conceptualization and design. This movie engages only my head, not my heart, and it just doesn't stir me.

I did like Robert DeNiro as a "terrorist". In a world that requires hundreds of forms to be filled out before anything can happen, DeNiro is a HVAC man who intercepts calls to the official state repair agency, then answers the calls promptly and simply fixes things. That's his act of rebellion - he fixes things without requiring any paperwork, then he slides into the night on high-wire cables, like Spiderman. Needless to say, the State considers him highly dangerous.

The nudity came from Kim Greist. Her breasts were visible through a gown, and her buns were seen when she was in bed with Jonathan Pryce. (1, 2, 3, 4)

IMDB summary: 8.0 out of 10. This is a movie now considered a 20th century masterpiece of the imagination, on a par with Fritz Lang's "Metropolis". IMDb members rate it in the top 250 ever made. On the other hand, it was not especially well received when it was released. It grossed only $9 million, and Roger Ebert gave it two stars at the time, based on the 131 minute version.

DVD info from Amazon. This is the three-disc Criterion Coollection

DVD info from Amazon. This is the bare-bones DVD, movie only.

So I Married an Axe Murderer(1993)

from Johnny Web

Mike Myers had two big hits with the Wayne's World character back in the early 90's, and then had his Austin Powers smashes in the late 90s's. In between, he had kind of a dry spell, a four year period between Wayne 2 and Powers 1, when was only in one movie. This is it.

If you liked Fat Bastard, you can see kind of an earlier bastard-in-progress in this film, in the form of Mike's Scottish father, also played by Mike (not surprisingly).

Mike plays a guy afraid of commitment, and he always comes up with silly reasons to break up with a woman when they get too close, things like "she smells like soup". Just paranoid delusions. It runs in his family. His mom reads Weekly World News as her bible.

Until he falls in love with Nancy Travis, a woman about whom his usual paranoid fantasies may really be true.

I thought the best things about this movie were the cameo appearances by some of Myers' colleagues from the past. Phil Hartman, Charles Grodin, Steven Wright, Alan Arkin, and "Kramer" provide some good moments, and of course Mike himself can be quite inspired.

OK, so it's like an episode of SNL. Sometimes the sketches are funny, and sometimes they just ramble on humorlessly. Personally, I think 20 minutes of good Mike Myers comedy in a two hour movie isn't too bad. Where else you gonna get 20 minutes of good laughs? I can always read a book during the slow parts.

By the way, Mike Myers in this movie appears to have the same job as Ozzie Nelson in Ozzie and Harriet. I know that in the evening he reads some poems in a jazz club. Does one get paid for that?

Nancy Travis was seen in a steamed-up mirror. So it might not even be Nancy, who knows? And if it is you can't see jack anyway. But here it is for reference.

IMDB summary: 6.3 out of 10. (Berardinelli gave it two stars, Ebert two and a half.)

DVD info from Amazon.

Analiese Nesbitt (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

Olga Lazar (1, 2)

Olga Lazar? I think she's a fashion model and minor celeb in Italy, where she shows up in MAX and other similar magazines. (Scoop's note: as far as I know, she is not related to Hollywood legend Irving "Swifty" Lazar, thereby avoiding Brainscan's Hollywood Progeny curse.)

Anneliese Nesbitt is the Page Three du Jour. IMHO she has some of the classiest looks of any Page 3'er ever.

No scan, but did you hear that Paula Jones is scheduled to pose for Penthouse in the near future? Can Monica be far behind? (In which case I will be forced to change hobbies or risk hysterical blindness)