Updates

• Charlie's French Cinema Nudity site is updated. Large update this week.

Bodies (TV Series - BBC3)

Here is Neve McIntosh in the latest episode of the BBC-3 medical drama.

Where the Truth Lies (2005)

Atom Egoyan's new film, which many are calling the worst of his career. (And he did some mighty poor films in the pre-Exotica days.) At any rate, the key item for us here is Alison Lohman's breast, as seen in the trailer. Here's a clip. The collage follows below:

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The work above was done by someone else. I just assembled the pics in a frame. For me, it was French day today, with two controversial releases: an ugly, explicit splatter film and an ugly explicit sex/morality melodrama. I'll write more about these as I have time.

Haute Tension (2004)

This film is the French equivalent of Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Here's Maiwinn LeBesco
Here's a bonus from Charlie. Maiwinn's only other cinema nudity. A tiny flash of nipple in "I Am an Actrice"

Ma Mere (2003)

Controversial French melodrama about that whole wacky Mother/Son Oedipal thing.

Emma de Caunes
Joanna Preis
Isabelle Huppert

I thought it might be interesting to have a look at the actresses who shed their clothes in Peter Greeanway's "8 ˝ Women" (1999). Peter's films are definitely an acquired taste but always visually stunning and mostly with lots of female nudity. Hence him being a regular guest in the Fun House.

• First Amanda Plummer gets nekkid in two clips. (1, 2)
• Annie Shizuka Inoh and Kirina Mano can also be seen in various states of undress.

The rest of the nude actresses, Toni Collette, Polly Walker and Natacha Amal, will be performing their acts tomorrow on the Fun House.

Today we take the old Time Machine back to 1971 and a visit with "The Godson". This one is a classic from the glory days of soft porn on this wonderful "Something Weird" DVD that was very nicely restored.

We kick it off with Maria Aronoff & Orita De Chadwick topless.
Then Orita goes solo, she gives us all 3 b's gettting her nipples twisted before getting laid by one of the mafia henchmen.
Then soft core legend Uschi Digard soaps up her massive hooters before having them played with by one of the bad guys.
We wrap up today with a couple of caps of all 3 ladies being examined by those evil guys.
Now folks I get dizzy capping so much of this gratuitous nudity ( that's a good thing ) so I will be back tomorrow with more from this movie.

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

MIERS' LETTERS TO BUSH RELEASED
Supreme Sucking-Up - The Texas Archives released 2,000 documents that include gushing letters and greeting cards from then-Lottery Commission head Harriet Miers to then-Gov. George W. Bush, in which she uses lots of exclamation points and calls Bush "cool!" and "the best governor ever."

*  Or at least the best governor she could find in the immediate vicinity.
*  These sound more like "A Child's Letters To God."
*  I think I'd rather just go ahead and put her on the Court than have to hear all this read into the Congressional Record.
*  It's about time we had a Supreme Court justice who dots her i's with tiny hearts.



RETIREMENT KILLS YOU
Swede And Low Down - George Burns was right: the day you retire, you start dying.  Sweden's Karolinska Institute and Linkoping University tracked 250,000 men and women for 12 years and found that people who retire early are more than twice as likely to die younger than the rest of the population.  They can't say why: some people retire early due to health problems, but they're usually
not the kind that shorten life.  Ironically, in a recent poll, 60 percent of Swedes said they'd love to retire early.

*  They're just dying to retire!
*  You'd think if anything killed them, it would be the stress of their 36.7-hour work week.
*  They probably explode from all those cruise ship buffets.
 

TROUBLE OVER "SPEAK ENGLISH" SIGN
And No Mexican Beer?! - Tom Ullum owns the Pleasure Inn bar in Mason, Ohio, and he has a sign reading, "For Service, Speak English."  He says it's just tongue-in-cheek, he has lots of Mexican customers and no record of any discrimination complaints.  But the Ohio Civil Rights Commission ruled that the sign discriminates against non-English speakers and creates an affront to Hispanics.  Ullum may be forced to pay to run ads about discrimination and his employees forced to take diversity and cultural sensitivity training.  Ullum has nine days to file for them to reconsider.  Until then, he vowed not to remove the sign.

*  What part of the phrase "Congress shall make no law abridging freedom of speech" do the Commissioners not understand?
*  It's just a joke, but all jokes create an affront to power-mad bureaucrats.
*  He's hiring a lawyer who'll present his case in Klingon, just to see if the commissioners ask him to speak English.



CATHOLICS PONDER SPACE ALIENS
"E.T., Phone Rome" - Independent Catholic News reports that with so many people believing in aliens, Britain's Catholic Truth Society has issued a book called "Intelligent Life In The Universe?" to examine how the Church should handle the discovery of ETs.  Among the questions it examines: Does original sin affect all intelligent beings?  Would the Church send missionaries to other planets?  Is Jesus Christ's redemption valid across the universe, or would other planets have their own version of Jesus?  And would humans even recognize intelligent life if we saw it?

*  I've wondered about that one for years.
*  And of course, could E.T. become Pope?
*  And, "Does their interest in anal probes make them good  candidates for the priesthood?"
*  Amazingly, this book has the answers to every one of those questions!


HUSBAND DRUGS CHEATING WIFE
What A Large Sesame Seed! - A jealous husband in Vorarlberg, Austria, came up with an ingenious way to keep his wife from sneaking out to see her lover: he dissolved tranquilizers in her wine so she'd sleep through the evening.  It worked twice, until she found a tablet hidden in her bread and called the police.  They're now getting divorced, and the husband was found guilty of coercion and told he'd be fined $540 if he tried it again.

*  Still, it's cheaper than marriage counseling.
*  Maybe she wouldn't have taken a lover if her husband didn't put her to sleep.
*  This guy has watched way too many episodes of "Desperate Housewives."



MAN PREFERS JAIL TO WIFE
Try Tranquilizing Her - In Ferrara, Italy, Algerian-born Ahmed Salhi was sentenced to nine months' home detention on an immigration violation, but after a week, he returned to court and begged to be sent to jail instead.  He said he couldn't stand his Italian wife's nagging for nine straight months and said he'd rather be in a cell, pleading, "I need some peace."  The judge took pity and let him finish his sentence in jail.

*  The judge must be married, too.
*  He's hoping to make it 12 months with bad behavior.
*  He also asked to be denied conjugal visits, but the judge said, "Don't get greedy."
*  This is exactly how Martha Stewart's maids felt during her home confinement.
 


FAKE COP CALLS FOR BACKUP
Acting!! - Bryan Perley of Orlando, Florida, reportedly entered an office claiming to be a Merchant Marine captain acting as a magistrate and tried to serve an arrest warrant.  But the woman he was seeking was out.  Upset with the suspicious employees, he called 911 for police backup, telling them these people didn't understand the chain of command.  Police arrived and found that Perley had a phony ID and passport, and his "warrant" was handwritten.  He's charged with seven felonies.  They have no idea why he called for backup while
allegedly impersonating an officer.

*  Realism!
*  Truly great actors get caught up in the moment.
*  He figured that's what Horatio does on "CSI: Miami," and he's not a real cop, either.



$67,000 WORTH OF VIAGRA TO BE DESTROYED
Up...In Smoke - Someone in Greensboro, North Carolina, is desperate for Viagra.  For the second time this year, thieves tried to steal $67,000 worth of samples from a storage facility rented by Pfizer Inc.  The pills were found hidden in another storage unit.  Because the Viagra pills became unsupervised, their safety can't be guaranteed, so they'll be destroyed.

*  Along with so many hopes, dreams and fantasies.
*  And by "destroyed," they mean "sold cheap on the Internet."
*  It might've been poisoned by terrorists trying to wipe out America's supply of horny middle-aged men.



MUMMY ROBS BANK
Wrap It Up, I'll Take It - A bank in Vienna was robbed by a mummy.  A robber wrapped all in bandages stood in line waiting for service, then handed the cashier a note saying he had a hand grenade hidden in his bandages and demanded all the money.  He left quietly with a bag of cash before the cops could arrive.

*  He just disappeared...Maybe he's the Invisible Man!
*  He plans to stay under wraps for awhile.
*  That was no mummy, it was Michael Jackson trying to pay for his latest plastic surgery.
*  Don't think of it as bank robbery, consider it "trick or treating." 



NEW PUMPKIN-HURLING RECORD
Good Thing It Was A Skylight Company - Saturday in Washington state, a team called Tre-Barbaric won the annual Burlington Harvest Festival Pumpkin Pitch by hurling a pumpkin nearly 1,700 feet with a Medieval catapult.  They also exceeded the previous world record by nearly 300 feet.  The event seems goofy, but it can be dangerous: during Friday's practice, a pumpkin went off course and hit a nearby business's roof.

*  Their insurance rates also went through the roof.
*  The old pumpkin-hurling record was set by the winner of last year's pumpkin pie-eating contest.
*  Hey, terrorists: This is what we do for FUN!  Do you really think you're gonna scare us?!



ROBOTIC FLYING DINOSAUR TO BE BUILT
Jurassic Jumbo Jet - Researchers from Cambridge University have reconstructed the largest-ever flying dinosaur, a pterosaur named Anhanguera ("Old Devil").  Scientists have argued for years over how something that grew up to 39 feet could get enough lift to fly, but the team thinks they've figured out how its body and wings were shaped.  To prove it, they've hired a German model maker to build a robo-pterosaur with a 13-foot wingspan, which will swoop over Britain this winter.

*  If that doesn't get the English to swear off drinking, nothing will.
*  It will also test their theory that a pterosaur could snatch a full-grown person in its claws and fly away with him.



KANSAS LIKES NUDITY
Trust Me, It WASN'T Sexually Exciting! - In Topeka, Kansas, a local nudist camp has been putting on nude plays at the Topeka Performing Arts Center to promote their lifestyle.  They're not sexual, and there's no law against nudity per se, but Councilman Brett Blackburn said some constituents complained, so he proposed a ban on public nudity.  But it failed at a hearing when it turned out he was the only person in favor of it.  The nudist camp owner said, "It would seem that the proposed ordinance is a solution in search of a problem."

*  If it had banned only fat, ugly naked people, then THAT would've solved a problem.
*  Blackburn was also the only person at the hearing who wasn't naked.
*  Proving that in Topeka, they like to peek-a.



CHEWBACCA IS AN AMERICAN
Space Cowboy - It's official: Chewbacca is an American.  British actor Peter Mayhew, who plays the "Star Wars" Wookie hero, will become a US citizen Monday at a ceremony in Arlington, Texas, a Dallas suburb.  Mayhew said he's always been fascinated with cowboys and American history, and marrying a Texas lady "more or less decided it."  He said when he takes the oath of American citizenship, he'll recite what he can remember and "it will be a Chewie growl for the other parts."

*  No problem, that's the way most Americans sing "The Star-Spangled Banner."
*  He's hairy, freakishly tall and growls instead of talking... He's not just an American, he's a Texan!
*  As soon as he's a citizen, President Bush will draft him into the Texas National Guard and send him to go fight evildoers.



13 BAGS OF COKE FOUND AT BOY GEORGE'S HOUSE
Bad Karma - Boy George sobbed at his arraignment, as authorities revealed that the police he'd called over on a bogus burglary report found 13 plastic bags of cocaine sitting by his computer.  His lawyer said he's had a lot of people in his house, and he has no idea how 13 bags of coke wound up in his apartment.

*  Maybe he bought it on the street, thinking it was really expensive face powder.
*  The cops planted it, to make Boy George look like a drug-using has-been!
*  His defense will be, "It's 2005: do you really believe Boy George could afford to buy 13 bags of cocaine?!"
*  Boy George needs to get a better lawyer...and some waterproof mascara.


Fox TV announced that they are canceling the Paris Hilton-Nicole Richie show, "The Simple Life," although the producers hope it will be picked up by another network

... Don't even think about the Food Channel

... No network is THAT desperate!  Well, maybe NBC

... It's a show where rich, beautiful people talk down to average Americans.  Put it on CNN.

If you have your own site or blog, sign up today and earn some extra cash in 2005 by promoting the Fun House!