Friday the 13th Part 5: A New Beginning (1985) is the logical follow-up to the Final Chapter. Like those that came before, a slasher kills horny teens and many more people. Several things were different. The identity of the slasher was a mystery, much of the film was shot in clear daylight, and nearly all of the acting was terrible. Feldman's character from number 4 is now a young adult, and has been bouncing around mental hospitals since he killed Jason. He is sent to a half-way house in the country that is full of horny teens. They also introduce a young black kid whose grandfather is the cook for the facility, and who is clearly predestined to be one of the surviving heros at the end. The killing starts with one patient hacking another to death with an ax. In what I have to believe was intended as pure parody, a big guy in a hockey mask starts killing everyone he sees. THe identity of the killer is supposed to be the big payoff, so I will not reveal it here.

Deborah Vorhees shows breasts in a long daytime sex scene. Rebecca Wood flashes her breasts. Melanie Kinaman shows breasts through a white shirt and Juliette Cumins shows breasts in a lengthy undressing scene. IMDb readers have this at 3,4 of 10, and it grossed less than half what four did. This film does have nudity, a Jason-like killer, and a high body count, but doesn't really feel like the rest in the series, and is the worst of the first 5. D-.

• Charlie's French Cinema Nudity site is updated.

Team America: World Police (2004)

I saw it this morning in a theater. Notes here. The audience gave it a wild, raucous, whistling, cheering standing ovation. It does have nudity and extremely wild sex scenes! Of course, the puppets don't have genitals.

Other Crap:

• A new photo gallery from the official site of Batman Begins
• JoBlo interviews Ryan Reynolds. JoBlo is right. This guy is the right man to play Fletch.
• Fergie to pose nude for charity.  
• Body doubles wanted for sex scene - between Danny DeVito and Kathy Bates.
• The Rocky Horror Presidential Show
• Jon Stewart's Brutal Exchange with the tutti-frutti guy from Crossfire.
• I want this faucet!
• "I want to establish my own country. Is there any unclaimed land?" You mean besides Canada?
• The trailer and four clips from Undertow, the latest film from the director of All The Real Girls: "Set in a contemporary South untouched by time, 'The Undertow' is a dramatic thriller about two brothers who run away from home to guard a secret following the death of their father and the arrival of their greedy, troubled uncle."
• The trailer for Almodovar's new film, Bad Education. "Celebrated Spanish auteur Pedro Almodovar's latest is a classic film noir set in Madrid, 1960 - 1980. Two kids, Ignacio and Enrique, discover love, cinema and fear in a religious school. Father Manolo, the school principal and their literature teacher, is witness to and part of these discoveries. The three characters meet twice again, at the end of the 70s and in the 80s. The re-encounter will mark the life and death of some of them."
• ESPN.com Top 25: Four ACC teams in the top 10? It has to be about basketball season.
• Nick Nolte's Diary (Genuine? I don't know. He says his favorite novel is Milton's Paradise Lost, which is not a novel, and he misspells some words, but I guess the real Nolte could do all of that as well. )
• Playmate Gallery - Gillian Bonner, Miss April 1996 - Courtesy of PlayboyPlus.com!
• Four free short videos from Playboy's Cheerleaders & College Girls!
• USA Today looks at the Zorro sequel.
• Ben Affleck discusses Daredevil 2 and a bunch of other things. Affleck may not stir any memories of Edmund Kean in the acting department, but he's interesting, and natural, and gives good interview. And you can't help but like a guy who drops a non-threatening "fuck" into the conversation several times, even with cameras in his face.
• Rock star Eric Clapton has been suspended from driving in France after being caught speeding at 134 mph. And that was in a school zone. Under icy conditions. Seriously, the French have a pretty liberal speed limit on their motorways. (It was about 81 MPH where Clapton was caught.) But not THAT liberal.
• Bush Sr calls Michael Moore a 'slimeball'. Well, he may have a point there, but this is not exactly the statesmanlike discourse we would like from our elder statesmen. On the other hand, at least Bush wasn't a wimp!
• Psychological researchers reveal their study of reverse kleptomania - a compulsive need to put merchandise into stores without being noticed. Unfortunately, those researchers work for Weekly World News.
• Do you like The Daily Show? Then you must subscribe to Jon magazine and Jonny Magazine.  
• Help restore your own purity. As far as I can tell, this site is NOT a parody. It is the real deal.  
• Handwriting Test - what does your handwriting reveal? I couldn't take the test because I can't remember what my handwriting looks like, although I think I used to write words out in longhand. Do really old people still write stuff by hand? In that case, I guess I could be a handwriting analyst, too. I'd have one rule in my interpretation - if you actually use handwriting voluntarily, you're gonna die real soon. Not because of anything in your personality, just because you're mighty goddamned old. It's the same general principle as saying your life expectancy is short if you can remember the Civil War, or the last time the Patriots lost a game.
• The worst movie of the year? It probably hasn't come out yet. Check out the trailer for FAT ALBERT.
• The editors of 'Popular Science' magazine compiled their annual list of the Worst Jobs in Science. The #1 choice this year: Anal Wart Researcher.  
• Very interesting article from GALLUP. Do Debates Affect Presidential Contests? Not so much. Maybe in 1960 and 1980 - but any other years? Reagan won re-election by a landslide, despite being soundly thrashed by Mondale in their debates. Bush the Elder won his first election easily (+8) despite a poor debate performance (-9) against Dukakis.
• Following up on its success with their new Bible, Random House releases Shakespeare in New International Versions. "Like, I don't know if I should keep totally livin' or not, yo. Whatever, dude." (They're kidding, dude. I hope)
• The new Popemobile will be a Ferrari Formula One. For those crazy nights when the Pope has a little extra sacramental wine and decides to take 'er out for a spin. When they finish, before they present it to His Holiness, the Ferrari people need to submit it to Pimp My Ride.
• The trailer for In Good Company: "Filmmaker and Academy Award-nominated screenwriter Paul Weitz ('About a Boy') turns his complex sense of humor on Synergy, an insightful comedy about the relationship between a 50-year-old businessman and his new, 26-year-old boss. Dan Foreman (Dennis Quaid) is headed for a shakeup. He is demoted from head of ad sales for a major magazine when the company he works for is acquired in a corporate takeover. His new boss, Tom is half his age--a business school prodigy who preaches corporate Synergy. While Dan develops clients through handshake deals and relationships, Tom cross-promotes the magazine with the cell phone division and 'Krispity Krunch,' an indeterminate snack food under the same corporate umbrella. Both men are going through turmoil at home. Dan has two daughters--Alex, age 18, and Jana, age 16--and is shocked when his wife tells him she's pregnant with a new child. Between college tuition, the mortgage and a new baby, Dan can't afford to lose his job in the wave of corporate layoffs. Tom, in the meanwhile, is dumped by his wife of seven months just as he gets his promotion. Dan and Tom's uneasy friendship is thrown into jeopardy when Tom falls for, and begins an affair with, Dan's daughter Alex (Scarlett Johansson). Weitz's examination of life's surprises, ironies and coincidences combine to form Synergy."
• What Actually Happened in Kerry's Vietnam Battles? Turns out most of the Viet Cong who fought on Feb 28, 1969 are still alive, and remember the day well.

Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the links above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Words from Scoop.

.avi's from Shiloh.

.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

NOTE: because of a unique combination of circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a picture. When you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.

I know this is not especially convenient, but it allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips altogether.

Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

Shiloh says:

FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.

 

When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

A reader says:

You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you or your users.

Scoop says:

I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

Clips from the disk, Naked and Naughty. Since most of the gals take off their clothes and then sorta just stand around... and that ain't naughty... I'm figgerin' the makers of this fine cinematic achievement think gettin nekkid is, itself, naughty. Which means the title ought to Naked and Naked. Truth in labeling, you know.

Thirteen gals on the main feature and on a whole bunch of extras. Includes several B-movie reglars like Monique Parent, Lisa Comshaw, Lorissa McComas and Amy Rochelle.

Lots and lots of clips to choose from. I looked for those revealing all three B's. (All of these are divx .avis, zipped as usual)

• Amy Rochelle (1, 2, 3)

• Antoinette Abbott (1, 2)

• Couple of clips of Deanna Brooks (1, 2), former Hefmate and one-time movie star (as in, she starred in one movie: The Rowdy Girls)

• A clip of Dita Von Teese, frequent Hefmag model and naughty actress

• Jamie Pope, about whom I know absolutely nothing except she is a brunette with a big ol' tat on her lower back.

• Last up for today (more to follow tomorrow) are Kim Maddux, occasional B-movie star with obnoxious after-market equipment and Linda O'Neill (1, 2), with more modest additions to an otherwise killer frame.

Today the Ghost takes a look at the 1987 movie "The Last Innocent Man", directed by Roger Spottiswoode ("Tomorrow Never Dies", "The 6th Day") and starring Ed Harris.

• Roxanne Hart, topless in a sorta love scene with Harris. Hart is probably best remembered as 'Brenda the weapons expert' in the original "Highlander" (1986). (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
• Roxanne Hart zipped .wmvs (1, 2)

"Hatchetman"
A crime/horror flick from Showtime, not one of their best efforts, this 2003 gory horror whodunit excels mostly in the "show lotsa boobs" department, but even in that respect, they came up a little short.

A group of strippers is the target of a serial killer who kills them with a hatchet, then chops off (and takes) their hands (because, as it turns out, "Mommy used to do dirty things with her hands").

In any case, as the lead detective tries to protect his stripper girl friend and her pals, (and as she tries to get admitted to law school, although I don't know why we really care about that), the cast slowly but surely shrinks as the strippers get offed one by one.

Yup, it's lame and predictable (although the real killer was a slight surprise at the end), the acting vacillates between not-all-that-bad to horrible, and the story is hackneyed and uneven, but let's face it, this is basically a boobs movie with a story thrown in as a binder, and in that department, it also fell a little short. All in all, even for T & A movies, I've seen a lot better.

• Fonta Sawyer
• Leila Renae
• Mia Zottoli aka Ava Lake
• Nina Tapanin

The film is especially important to us, as it features full frontal nudity from Paula Prentiss, the first such exposure in a post Hays Act mainstream Hollywood production.

DUTCH GOVERNMENT MARIJUANA GLUT
Still Wanna Legalize Pot? - The Dutch Health Ministry is suffering from a marijuana glut. Last year, they started a program to allow people to buy medicinal marijuana at any pharmacy. But in Holland, any adult can buy decriminalized pot at a "coffee shop" for half the price. The government expected to sell 450 pounds of pot, but only 175 pounds have been sold. The head of a local company that researches medical pot asked why a legal commodity is more expensive than the same illegal commodity.