'Caps and comments by Tuna

Inserts (1975)

Inserts (1975) is a Richard Dreyfuss tour de force that came and went virtually without notice. Rated X at the time of release, it was a film without much of a potential audience.It is essentially a two act play set in the depression, with a very limited cast, and takes place entirely on one set. Dreyfuss plays "The Boy Wonder," who was a prodigy during the silent era, but was unable to make the switch to talkies. He now hides in his bungalow, and earns money for cheap cognac making pornos for Big Mac (Bob Hoskins).

Hoskins is more than just a petty thug who is financing pornos. He plans on getting rich from the newly planned freeways. No, not via real estate, but from opening up hamburger stands and gas stations along the freeways. The female star of the porno is a former silent star, now turned junkie (Veronica Cartwright). Dreyfuss is filming her and "Rex the Wonder Dog" (the male star and funeral director who wants to make it big in the real movies, played by Stephan Davies) when Big Mac arrives with his girlfriend "Jessica Harper), a cash envelope for Rex the Wonder Dog, and smack for Cartwright. Act one ends when Cartwright ODs.

Act two is a cat and mouse game between Dreyfuss and Harper. Dreyfuss is supposedly impotent, and, like everyone else in Hollywood, Harper wants to be a star, so she parries with Dreyfuss to do the "inserts" he needs to finish the film. This is where the film sparkles, with both some of the cleverest dialogue I have listened to in a long time, and top notch acting from Dreyfuss and Harper.

Then there is the nudity -- nearly non-stop. Cartwright shows everything in both color and black and white, and Harper is topless through the entire second half of the film. IMDb readers say 5.8, with only 202 votes, and Ebert awarded 2.5 stars in a mostly negative review. If the film had an intended audience, I was it. I frankly adored this film, and chortled all the way through it. This is a strong C+. If it is your kind of film, it is a sure winner, and it has finally been released in a pristine, uncut DVD.

If you are opposed to nudity, simulated sex, character driven plot, and lots of clever dialogue, you will want to skip it.

Scoop's note: the 5.8 at IMDB baffles the hell out of me. I would have expected it to be in the low 7s, or even better. I pretty much liked it as much as Tuna did. The entire film takes place in one room, more or less, so you action-hounds won't find it up your alley, but the plot does have a bit of forward momentum, and the characterization is excellent, as is the dialogue. It is a rare script which manages to be highly intelligent without being aloof and intellectualized. And, of course, it has nudity and dirty talk about on the all-time top rung of the Hollywood ladder. I can't recall any film in which a mainstream actress did nudity competitive with what Veronica Cartwright did here, or talked naughtier than Dreyfuss and Harper.
 

Jessica Harper:

Updates

I added several thousand new pictures throughout the Encyclopedia. The individual volumes which have been updated are highlighted in yellow.

Catching up

The reviews for Batman Begins and Saving Face can be found below in the Movie Section, or by clicking on "Movies" up in the toolbar.

Edie Falco

This is all new to me. I noticed that one of the bulletin boards had some captures of a topless Edie Falco in a 1997 movie. I checked it out on Mr Skin's site, and he never heard of it, but he had some captured of her in a different 1997 movie. If you're an Edie fan, this is your day.

Edie Falco ...
In Firehouse
In Trouble on the Corner

Hello

First of all I'd like to express a big warm welcome to Tuna. I'm glad to see he is back on board and hope to enjoy his contributions for a long time to come.

Today we've got three clips (1, 2, 3) of Rebecca De Mornay from 1996's "Never Talk to Strangers". If you like long romantic topless scenes in subdued light, this is certainly your cup of tea. A little bit more exposure by Rebecca mightn't have gone astray, but who am I to complain.

Our second contribution for today is "La vida es silbar" (1998), aka. Life is to Whistle. It is a Spanish-Cuban co-production in which two actresses show some skin. Claudia Rojas can be seen topless in a women's dressing room when a guy walks in saying: "What's wrong, have you never seen a dressed man before?". Isabel Santos prefers the G.I. Jane look and offers breast and buns to the Fun House viewers.

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

SADDAM'S LAWYER MOVES FOR ADJOURNMENT
And We Want Judge Ito! - Nearly two years after his capture, Saddam Hussein finally goes on trial today, and his attorney said "President Saddam" is "100 percent sure he is innocent."  The attorney said his defense will not focus on the details of the 1982 massacre he's accused of ordering - the first of several mass murder charges he's facing - but on the broader issue of the legitimacy of the Iraqi court.  He plans to ask for an immediate three-month adjournment of the trial to pursue that issue.

*  If that doesn't work, he'll ask for a six-month adjournment so Saddam can hunt for the real genocidal dictator.
*  If there's one thing Saddam Hussein can't abide, it's a rigged trial.
*  He will also argue that Saddam is more legitimate than the court, because  the last time he ran for president, he got 108 percent of the vote.



KATRINA RELIEF MONEY TIPS STRIPPERS
Your Tax Dollars At Work - The Boston Herald reports that Hurricane Katrina evacuees in Massachusetts are being arrested for public drunkenness after spending their $2,000 federal relief money on booze and strippers.  One stripper said, "They were tipping me $5 a pop.  I told them I felt bad taking their money.  But I still took it."

*  Hey, it makes them feel like they're back home in New Orleans.
*  At least it stimulated the economy...Stimulated the evacuees, too


FECES MAYORAL CANDIDATE STEAMING MAD  (CAREFUL!  NOTE SUBJECT!)
At Least He Admits It - James Skwarok, a Canadian activist who campaigns against dumping raw sewage into waterways by dressing as Mr. Floatie, a smiling piece of excrement, is going to the British Columbia Supreme Court.  Mr. Floatie was nominated for mayor of Victoria, but officials say only real people can run under their real names, and Mr. Floatie is a costume character.  Skwarok  said he's "fuming," and that Mr. Floatie is a tireless and high-profile environmental crusader.  He said, "Of course, I'm not a real person.  I'm a big piece of poop."

*  That makes him qualified to hold any political office.
*  That didn't keep the current mayor from getting elected.
*  According to the latest polls, he's #2.
*  His campaign slogan: "Go with the flow!"



WOMAN GIVES BIRTH ON "BIG BROTHER"
Little Sister - In another milestone for reality TV, a woman on the Dutch edition of "Big Brother" gave birth Tuesday to a daughter on live TV.  The mom thought it would boost her chances of not being voted off and winning $477,480 (US).  Under prearranged rules, the show agreed not to air anything explicit. And to protect the baby's privacy, she will stay in a room with no cameras, get off-the-air visits from her mother and grandparents, and she can't be shown for more than eight hours total during the rest of the series, which ends December 22.

*  The producers were hoping for a boy, so they could air a big Hanukkah circumcision special.
*  Someday, she'll hate her mother for limiting her time in the spotlight.
*  That's more privacy than most women giving birth get these days.
*  The father isn't there...He got voted out of the mom's life long ago.



FINISHING SCHOOL FOR MEN
Who Wears The Pants? - Actress and etiquette expert Diana Mather has opened the world's first finishing school for men, in a castle in Scotland to combat the rise of louts.  Mather says men come from around the world for her  three-day course in proper British manners.  Among the things men learn: how to walk upright while balancing a book on their heads; how to give a power handshake; how to dance a Scottish reel; how to sew, iron, fly-fish and skeet-shoot; and scariest of all to most men, which wine glasses and cutlery to use at a formal
dinner.  They're also taught such basic manners as holding the door for a lady, which Mather says rabid feminists have demonized, but most women like.

*  Are the men also taught how to tell which women will like it?
*  Once women know the man can sew and iron, they won't care if he holds the door.
*  Most importantly, they learn how to sit in a kilt.
*  Most women would be happy if the finishing school could just teach the men not to finish first.



"BOMB" ACTUALLY JUST A SPACE ALIEN REPELLENT
And He Smells Different - Some new tenants in a home in Davenport, Iowa, found a box containing what appeared to be a bomb.  Police said it looked scary but wasn't explosive.  Turned out it had been left behind by the former tenant.  She said it was sent to her mom by an astrologer friend who believed aliens live under the ground, and it was a device he'd made to create vibrations to scare them away.  She said her mom no longer talked to him because he was "a little off his rocker."

*  What was her first clue?
*  You might say his vibrations scared her away.
*  Oh yeah?  Well, has she ever been attacked by subterranean aliens since she got that device?  Hmmmm??!



ANIMAL LOVERS PROTEST CHOKING THE CHICKEN
Don't Grip Too Hard - Australia's RSPCA is up in arms over a toy from Taiwan called "Choke The Chicken."  It's a dancing toy chicken, and kids are encouraged to grab him by the neck, squeeze, and watch him squawk and flap madly.  An  RSPCA spokesman called it sick and grossly irresponsible, saying, "What next?  Burn a cat?  Shoot a dog?"  But the toy maker said the RSPCA should be spending its time saving real animals and Choking the Chicken is just an amusing and harmless way to relieve stress.

*  That's what I've always said.
*  Just like their next toys, "Burn The Cat" and "Shoot The Dog."


UNDERWEAR YOU DON'T HAVE TO WASH
Keeps Skid Marks Fresh! - The Daily Mail reports that a British company is launching a new line of underwear called North Face briefs that can be worn for days without washing.  The fabric contains small fragments of silver to stop bacteria from multiplying, and the weave prevents odor-causing microbes and mildew from growing.  A spokesman said they are "sure to appeal to blokes everywhere who may be slightly challenged in the washing machine department."

*  Or the "remembering to buy toilet paper" department.
*  Those men need so much silver, their shorts will clank
*  Now their friends will be saying, "What's that odd metallic smell?"
*  What's the big deal about underwear you can wear for days without washing?  I've had that for years.


MADONNA GROVELS TO ABBA, LECTURES STUDENTS
Tap-Dancing Queen - Madonna told Attitude magazine that Abba never lets people sample their songs, so to use "Gimme, Gimme, Gimme" in her new single, she had to write a groveling letter, begging them and telling them how much she worshiped Abba and wanted to pay homage to them.

*  "Homage" meaning "as little royalty money as possible."
*  Abba's reply: "Gimme, gimme, gimme!"
*  Abba didn't want to be associated with Madonna because they think she's washed-up.


Bad Films 101 - Tuesday, Madonna made a surprise appearance at Hunter College in New York to lecture film students.

*  Madonna lecturing film students is like William Shatner lecturing music students.
*  When the film students learned they'd be taught by Madonna, they demanded their tuition back.

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