Thrust (2003) is a skinemax sports cliche soft-core which IMDB calls Maximum Thrust. The sport this time is street racing. We have Robyn Hyden as the former champ who lost her driver and her reputation when her new experimental car exploded. She blames the new king of the sport, Onyx, claiming that he sabotaged the car. She is now trying a comeback. She is out of money, her car needs parts she can't afford, and she is afraid to use her special modification as it might be dangerous. Former Dallas Cheerleader Beverly Lynne is a new but talented driver whom she hires to drive her car, so she can concentrate on the engine work.

Her assistant is Nicole Oring, and Onyx's main squeeze is Akira Lane. Hyden shows everything in a sex scene, ad the other three women show everything in two sex scenes each. As a matter of fact, way too much time is devoted to the sex scenes, even for a soft-core. The plot is totally predictable, and most of the nude scenes are very dark, ad required a lot of work to brighten. This is a low C-. It has the requisite nudity for a soft-core, but the plot is not at all engaging.

Cabin Fever (2003):

Cabin Fever was the hottest property at the Toronto Film festival in 2002. Several studios got into a bidding war, which Lions Gate won with a deal that was said to involve high seven figures for the film rights, plus a commitment to at least low eight figures on the marketing and promotional end.

I'm not sure what all the fuss was about. It's a competent horror movie, but a fairly traditional type with no special luster of originality or innovation.

Five college kids, consisting of the usual mix of types, head out to a remote cabin in the woods to chill out before they have to face life. They have the usual foreboding experiences with the locals, who seem to be leftovers from the cast of Deliverance.

Things progress quietly until the kids encounter a hermit covered with pustules, obviously the victim of some new and horrible viral disease. The first encounter of the hermit with the entire group of kids gives us our first strong indication that this is not a movie about real people, but about movie characters. In real life, if someone comes to your door and says, "I'm hurt, I need a ride to the doctor", you say, "OK, but you may be infectious, so just don't touch anything here, and climb into the open flatbed of our vehicle. We'll get you to town". These kids don't behave like that - I suppose because they must know they are in a horror movie, and this isn't just a regular sick guy, but a horror movie sick guy, with some condition capable of destroying them and possibly the world. They recoil in horror, close the door on the poor sap, and eventually end up shooting him, beating him, and setting him on fire. The kids do not unanimously agree on this course of action, but that's what they end up doing.

The infected guy tries to douse the fire by jumping into the reservoir, thus poisoning the water supply. Plague ensues. The locals turn on the kids, the kids turn on one another, things get ugly.

Critical reaction has been generally favorable to this movie, but not without dissents:

• The critics who love the horror genre have really taken this one to heart, so it must be a C+ on our scale - good fare for genre fans.
• But it must be no higher than a C+ grade on our scale, because mainstream audiences and critics most typically said that it's OK as a 70s or 80s style horror movie homage, but nothing special at best. Roger Ebert assigned one and a half stars, Owen Gleibermann voted C+, IMDb voters weighed in with a mediocre 5.7, and the box office ran aground at $21 million.

I had about the same reaction as the mainstream guys. I didn't think the film was original enough to praise unreservedly. I don't think I was surprised by one development in the entire film. I did think it was a competent movie, with adequate character development by genre standards, some solid horror moments as well as some solid comic relief, and it was above average in at least one way: the widescreen cinematography was often very effective, as good as I've seen in any recent horror film.

I thought the most effective and ingenious contribution to the genre occurred when Cerina Vincent was taking a bath, shaving her legs, all "business as usual" until we see her scraping off some lather to reveal that she has just used her razor to open up various disgusting pustules, spores, and/or lesions. Genre films are supposed to make us react viscerally - like carnival thrill rides. That scene certainly worked. I found it a very effective and lurid stomach-churner which was heightened by Cerina's naked vulnerability. That's the kind of moment that made it a hit with the indie and genre critics.

But make no mistake, it is a genre film for genre lovers, not one that reaches out to mainstream audiences, and it is more of an homage than an original groundbreaker.

The filmmakers made money, because  it was cheap to make and Lions Gate reportedly gave them eight or nine million for the rights. Lions Gate is still waiting for a profit, because they invested about twenty million altogether, counting advertising and distribution costs. They have about half of that back now, and I suppose they will be OK after DVD retail sales, rentals, overseas and broadcast revenues.

Oh, well, irrespective of the film's merits, Cerina Vincent looked just fine, and her breasts made frequent appearances.

• Thumbnails. You may remember Cerina as the naked exchange student in "Not Another Teen Movie".
• Cerina Vincent (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
• Cerina's encyclopedia volume has also been updated

OTHER CRAP:

Other crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

• Emily Mortimer, gorgeous breast exposure in scenes from "The Sleeping Dictionary" (2003).

• Summer Phoenix, the youngest of the Phoenix clan going full frontal in scenes from the indie flick "Esther Kahn" (2000).

Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

"Return of the Living Dead III"
As a follow-up to my recent 'caps from The Return of the Living Dead, here's another of the Return series. This, the third of the bunch, has young lovers discovering the secret of the Army's "back to life" chemical. When the girl is killed, the boy is compelled to try the chemical to get his beloved back.

My feeling is that Return III is second best after the original Return, while Return II is basically not very good (and not capworthy). Needless to say, all the required elements of a good zombie movie are here: nudity, blood and gore, and a little more serious but still predictable script.

• Mindy Clarke, topless.

Lala Sloatman

Starr Andreeff

Emily Blunt topless as Katherine Howard, the fifth of Henry VIII's six wives and second to lose her head, in scenes from UK TV drama "Henry VIII".

ELVIS TOPS LIST OF HIGHEST-EARNING DEAD PEOPLE
That Ain't Peanuts - Forbes magazine has released its third annual list of the top-earning dead celebrities. From Jerry Garcia to Frank Sinatra to Dr. Seuss, their estates continue to rake in millions. #3 on the list was J.R.R. Tolkien, who made $22 million off "The Lord of the Rings." #2 was "Peanuts" creator Charles Schulz with $32 million, while the #1 deceased earner for the third straight year was Elvis Presley, who made $40 million last year, despite being dead for 26 years.