Dance With Death (1991) is a ripper-stripper-thriller. It leaves no cliche untapped. The decoy stripper (a genre requirement) is ambitious reporter Barbara Alyn Woods. We have the addict stripper (Alretha Baker), the dyke stripper (Catya Sasoon), the dyke's bisexual girlfriend (Tracey Birch), an unidentified amateur stripper and Jill Pierce. All show the usual breasts and buns during the frequent strip scenes.

It was probably intended as a whodunit with a liberal dose of nudity and violence, but the writers turned nearly everyone in the cast into a likely suspect, and were not at all clever about coming to a plausible ending. Along the way, there was way too much stripping, poor acting and no suspense. By the time they got around to musical surprise endings, I just didn't care who the killer was.

IMDb readers have this at 4.7, with only 30 votes. I have added my vote, which should lower the score. Even with Lisa Kudrow and Martin Mull in the cast, there is no good reason to watch it other than the after-market body parts. This is a D.

 

Barbara Alyn Woods
Alritha Baker
Catya Sassoon
Jill Pierce
Tracy Birch
Unknown

Four Friends (1981):

Four Friends (1981) could be called a coming of age film, the immigrant experience, a love story, or a portrait of the 60s. During the prologue, young Danilo and his mother arrive from Yugoslavia to meet his father, who escaped years before. They settle in with him in the steel town of East Chicago, Indiana. Cut to 1961. Danilo and his three best friends are about to graduate from High School. They are all band members, and have clearly been inseparable for years. Georgia thinks she is the reincarnation of Isadora Duncan, and it is clear that she is way too hip for small town middle American. Danilo, Tom the undertakers son, and David are all in love with her.

When Georgia announces that she has decided to lose her virginity, the boys are not sure what to say. She knocks on Danilo's window one night, offering herself to him. He declines, partially out of fear, and also because he has her on a pedestal. The day of the senior picnic, she and David do the deed. Danilo has never gotten along with his stern steel worker father, and seeing Georgia with Tom is enough to send him packing. Georgia ends up pregnant, but marries Tom, because David doesn't want to be married.

Georgia soon leaves for New York to become a famous dancer, and Tom goes to Nam. Danilo lands in school, majoring in Philosophy. The rest of the film shows how these middle American young people reacted to the amazing and permissive times, until They all somewhat mature, and the right people end up together. Along the way, we are shown as good a portrait of the 60s as I have seen. It is an ambitious project, but they even managed to develop minor characters, and it seemed short even at 114 minutes.

Jodi Thelan as Georgia shows breasts wrestling with all three boys.

IMDb readers have this at 6.5 of 10. Ebert awarded a full four stars. This film is about my era, and I recognize people I knew in every character. This is a very strong C+. It is a wonderful film, but might not interest those with no interest in the era or the genre.

Jodi Thelan

Today we go off in a totally different direction. Porn Stars. No, don't get excited - it's not really porn. It's from a really crappy little movie called "Being Ron Jeremy". Maybe I didn't like the movie because Andy Dick is in it and he drives me up a wall. All of these caps are actually from the extras on the DVD.

First we have Mary Carey. Robo-Hooters.
Then Kira Eggers. All 3 B's.
Kelly Fine. Tits.
Guage .Boobies.
Alexandra Nice. Boobies.
Kendra Jade. More Robo-Hooters.
And finally Teri Weigel, having her boobs felt up by the man himself, Ron Jeremy.

Today we'll uncover, as promised, Lou Doillon. She is the youngest daughter of Jane Birkin of whom you could see everything just a couple of days ago in La Pirate. The occasion for Lou's disrobing is 2001's "Nadia Coupeau dite Nana"

"Nadia Coupeau, dite Nana" is a French TV-movie in two parts. It is based on Emile Zola's book Nana, but situated in the present and mainly in Brussels. Lou Doillon, daughter of Jane Birkin and half-sister of Charlotte Gainsbourg, is excellent as the naive, simple and impulsive Nadia Coupeau, aka Nana. Right at the beginning of the movie Nana gets raped, becomes pregnant and keeps the child against the wishes of the headmistress of the high school she attends. This woman has it in for Nana from that moment on and obtains that Nana's child is taken away from her. When Nana finds out what the woman did, she gives her a good beating. From that moment on she tries everything to get her child back and after a couple of years she finally manages to do so and in the end (sob, tear) she also finds a guy whom she loves deeply who also loves her very much.

Now what is good about this flick ? Four actresses take their clothes off, with a special mentioning for Lou Doillon who shows that she is as uninhibited as her mother was in the Seventies. The other actresses are Linda Bouhenni (as Nana's best friend Zoe) in a short, practically dark, scene, Assumpta Serna as the wife of a politician who beds a journalist, and someone named Yssa whom Nana finds in bed with her boyfriend, also in a rather dark scene.

What's not to like about this film ? The script seems written by someone who doesn't know much about "the system" in Belgium. First Nana's child gets taken away for something that isn't considered such a big deal here (although not an example to follow), just like that, without even a proper hearing by the authorities. The child didn't suffer from malnutrition and she didn't beat the youngster. In fact, Nana was a very loving mother who would do anything for her child. She only left the child unattended for an hour at night for a couple of times. I don't know about other countries, but in this country they don't take away a child from a loving mother for that.

Then, after she beat up the headmistress, she goes on the run from the police (who drive a Belgian police car with French license plates, figure that). At some stage during the movie Nana has a big success as a model for a jeans brand and plenty of money is coming in. Then her agent gets her a top lawyer who must get her child back. Top lawyer, my ass. Nana was tried for the attack in absentia, so she is entitled to a new trial here. In the movie there were no witnesses to the beating, so it is Nana's word against that of the headmistress. No lawyer in this country is going to let his client confess to that beating, thereby jeopardizing even more his clients' chances to get her child back. There is no bonus for it here, the system doesn't hug you for doing the right thing. With a confession a lawyer doesn't have any space left to maneuver and you're almost certain to get a heavier punishment than when you don't own up (unless it's crystal clear to the court that you did it, which wasn't the case here).

Furthermore Nana's big love is a Belgian army officer on a mission in Kosovo. Nothing wrong with that one might say. No indeed, except that he's wearing a light khaki old-style uniform that hasn't been in use about five years now. The color of the current uniforms of the Belgian army is dark green, like those of their American colleagues. Let me also add that the DP was saving permanently on electricity, and that the camera work is only average. All in all I watched excellent actors in a sloppy, below-average film, just like the DVD which is grainy in some parts. By the way, the exact running time is 177 minutes and not the 204 minutes indicated on the DVD case. Even at that it is too long.

There are now 21 votes for this in the IMDb resulting in an overall score of 6.8/10. That's a fairly high score for this below-average TV drama, in fact high enough for me to become suspicious. My suspicion seems only confirmed when you consider that of those 21 voters no one scored it lower than 6 with most voters giving it 7 or more ! Are you thinking what I am thinking or is this just a coincidence?

Anyway, let's such things not spoil our viewing pleasure. Here's a 19 year old Lou Doillon in 4 clips ( 1, 2, 3, 4 ), showing that she really is a chip of the old block. Isn't there a striking resemblance between mother and daughter?

Michelle Krusiec and Lynn Chen

Jon Stewart points out to the conservative Bill Kristol that Kristol was wrong about Iraq before anyone else.

PENTAGON TO SPEND $2 MIL STUDYING URINALS
Just Spend A Penny - Arizona Rep. Jeff Flake complained that the House Defense Appropriations Bill earmarks $2 million for the Pentagon to study "no flush" urinal technology.  Flake said, "Talk about flushing taxpayers' money down the toilet."

*  The Pentagon said with this new technology, they'll be able to dump tax money directly into the sewer without flushing.
*  Nice to see there's one politician who stands up, and doesn't just go with the flow!
*  It's about time taxpayers started looking out for #1.



NEWS FLASH! PMS AFFECTS WOMEN'S BRAINS!
12 Angry Women - A Cornell University study found that women's brains really do work differently in the days before their periods.  Twelve women's brains were scanned while they read words with negative, positive or neutral connotations and were asked to do behavioral tasks.  During the premenstrual time, there was greater activity in the areas of the brain that control emotions than when they did the same things after their periods.  It shows that premenstrual women's brains "shift gears" to control emotions and keep hormonal changes from affecting their thinking.

*  And occasionally, it works.
*  They try to shift into neutral, but usually slip into hyperdrive.
*  For instance, when the researchers asked premenstrual women to do behavioral tasks, it activated the part of their brains that restrains them from clubbing men with a frying pan.
 


WORLD'S MOST EXPENSIVE COCKTAIL
Drinks For Everyone! - On Halloween, the London West End nightclub Umbaba plans to debut the world's most expensive cocktail.  The Magie Noir is made with Dom Perignon, Creme de Mure, aged cognac, imported lemon grass and yohimbe bark, an herbal aphrodisiac from Africa.  It's served in a crystal glass with a white gold cocktail pin, and will cost $591 (US).  Umbaba hopes to get into the Guinness Book of World Records.  The current priciest drink is the Ritz Sidecar at the Paris Ritz for $337.

*  That contains two drops of the world's most expensive liquid:  printer cartridge ink.
*  Before you order it, you already have to be really drunk.
*  Do you at least get to keep the glass?
*  The yohimbe bark isn't an aphrodisiac, but letting women see you buy a $600 cocktail is.

 

WHITE PUMPKINS ALL THE RAGE
The Great White Pumpkin - There is now a status system attached to Halloween pumpkins.  The hottest trend across America is white pumpkins, also known as Ghost Riders, Snowballs, Luminas or Caspers.  Albino pumpkins are more expensive than orange pumpkins, but fans say they're easier to draw faces on, they have a cool ghostly glow in the dark, and people think they make their Halloween parties seem more chic.  The editor of Country Living magazine said white is a very strong home design element now, and "white pottery, sofas, and white pumpkins add a very iconic look."

*  Oh, and white people...
*  If there's one thing I hate, it's Halloween decorations that don't blend in with the decor.
*  Orange pumpkins are as vulgar and low class as red and green Christmas decorations...This year, Christmas is topaz and ivory!
*  Also, when you hurl a white jack o'lantern at someone's house, it's less likely to leave a stain.


NAKED FAST FOOD CUSTOMER ARRESTED 
He Was Priddling Himself - A female employee at a drive-through restaurant in Thamesford, Ontario, took an order around midnight for a large coffee.  When the car pulled up to the window, the driver was stark naked and touching himself.  He handed over the money with his left hand, his right hand being occupied, and drove off.  The clerk got his license number.  Joseph Priddle pleaded guilty to an indecent act.  He said he did it for the thrill, and claimed that "fantasy" just got the best of him.

*  He'd never ordered a LARGE coffee before!
*  His fantasy was to spill hot coffee on himself and sue, but he chickened out.
*  He nearly spilled his coffee, but at least he had no trouble carrying his doughnut.
*  You know you're eating too much fast food when you get sexually aroused by the clown at the Jack In The Box drive-thru.



STOP THE PRESSES! WNBA STAR A LESBIAN!  (CAREFUL!  NOTE SUBJECT!)
They Have Shuffleboard, Swimming And Diving - The WNBA's 2005 MVP Sheryl Swoopes was promoted as the face of the women's basketball league because she was married with kids and team owners were trying to fight the WNBA's lesbian image.  Tuesday, she announced that she is a lesbian.  The now-divorced Swoopes insisted there are lots of straight women in the WNBA, but she's just not one of them.  She also announced that she will be the new spokeswoman for Olivia, a lesbian cruise line.

*  Where the "all-you-can-eat buffets" have a totally different meaning.
*  They offer the only ships with no seamen.
*  There are lots of straight women in the WNBA ... Not in the stands, of course.
*  Wow, a lesbian in the WBNA!  What next, a gay guy on Broadway?!



NO MORE BIKINI POSTCARDS FROM RIO
Get 'Em While They're Hot - Tuesday night, the state assembly in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, voted to ban the sale of postcards featuring beach babes in bikinis.  Even though Rio is famous for tiny bikinis and hot women like "The Girl from Ipanema," and the postcards are sold everywhere in Rio, critics claim they attract "deplorable sex tourism" and attract the "wrong kind" of tourist.

*  Men?
*  News flash: that's the "only kind" of tourist.
*  They plan to drive away those tourists by selling only postcards of fat guys in Speedos.
*  But tourists don't just come to Rio for beach babes in bikinis!  They also come for Mardi Gras babes in half a bikini!



WALKING IS AS GOOD AS JOGGING
Even Better: Less Sweat - A Duke University study found that there may be no need to run for exercise.  Two to three hours a week of mild, moderate-intensity exercise such as taking a brisk walk provided the same health improvements as jogging 12 miles a week.

*  Unless you're like me, and you do all your walking back and forth to the refrigerator.
*  I give my heart a workout by just watching woman jog.



POLICE SUSPICIOUS OF RAPPER SHOOTING
The Next Tupac - There have been no arrests in an incident in which rapper Cam'ron was shot in both arms during an alleged attempt to carjack his electric blue 2006 Lamborghini.  But the Washington Post reports that DC police are skeptical of Cam'ron's story.  They say carjackers rarely go in shooting, and stealing that unique car would be like stealing one with "Here I am, police!"
spray-painted on the side.  Police are said to be looking at alternate theories,  including a botched gang hit, road rage or a publicity stunt for his upcoming album, "Killa Season."

*  In that case, the album should be called "Flesh Wound Season."
*  It's extreme, but if the album doesn't sell, the Lamborghini gets repossessed.
*  No, when rappers really need publicity, they let themselves get shot in  the abdomen.
 


MOVIES THAT TAUGHT US EVERYTHING
They Thought Brits Were Twits - The UK's National Archives will place online 60 old public information films from a time when the government told Britons the proper way to do everything.  They include 1945's "Coughs and Sneezes," which informs sneezers to close their eyes and use a hankie.  A 1958 film on how to cross the street admonishes, "It's no good thinking you can have a sleep or eat your breakfast out there because you'll soon find yourself in trouble."  And a 1975 film has a crossing guard teaching children how to cross the road. He's played by David Prowse, who later become famous as Darth Vader.

*  He taught children how to cross over to the Dark Side.
*  He creeps the kids out by constantly telling them, "I am your father..."
*  He teaches them that they can eat breakfast in the middle of the road, if they just use the Force.
*  Imagine a time when the government thought it had to tell everybody what  to do!



50 CENT BILLBOARD PROTEST
It's Edu-tainment! - Activists in high-crime areas of Los Angeles are calling on Paramount to remove billboards for 50 Cent's upcoming movie, "Get Rich or Die Tryin'," showing the rapper holding a mic in one hand and a gun in the other.  They said it glorifies guns, and one billboard is right next to a preschool.

*  So it's educational!
*  Luckily, the kids are too busy listening to 50 Cent on their iPods to notice it.



PRINCE HARRY DROPS TROU
To The Rear...Harch! - Britain's Prince Harry was marching with other Army trainees at Sandhurst Academy when the sergeant ordered him to drop his pants to see if a rumor was true that he'd had his girlfriend's name tattooed on his royal rear.  The embarrassed prince dropped his pants and was about to lower his underwear when everyone started laughing, and Harry realized it was a joke and laughed, too.  His comrades said it showed he had "the right stuff."

* They could tell it was inside his underwear.
*  He's obviously ready for what the tabloids are gonna do to him.
*  At Sandhurst Academy, trainees must be able to drop their pants at a moment's notice.

 

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