Lipstick (1976) is not a great movie. In point of fact, it could easily have been an afternoon special, other than the nudity of star Margaux Hemingway. Those who read Scoops review http://www.scoopy.com/lipstick.htm already know the plot about the rising model who is raped by her kid sister's music teacher. I would like to weigh in on some of the controversial questions concerning this film. First, was the length of the rape scene, and the nudity necessary? My answer is an emphatic yes.

The entire point of the film was that Hemingway was violated by her rapist, then by the courts, then by the jury. For us to see that, we needed to know beyond any doubt that she was the victim of a vicious rape. As to her voice, and uneven line delivery, I am not so sure it was a mistake in casting, but rather a choice. Her character was actually two women, one, a rising professional supermodel, supposed to be every woman's ideal of what they would like to be. The other was a rather quiet, naive, and trusting Catholic girl, dedicated to her baby sister. There was a point to this duality in her character. The jury believed the femme fatal supermodel persona, even though that was just an act.

As for the ending, I can only think of it as fantasy. In the real world, Hemingway would be doing time, and her sister would be the object of a wrongful death suit. The fantasy ending did show the writer's idea of justice. So how good is the movie? Just mediocre. Mariel Hemingway, as the little sister, was outstanding, the messages of the film were well-intentioned, and it does give some insight into the mind of the rape victim. To those who always claim that a graphic rape scene is misogynistic, nonsense. Rape scenes that show it for the violent violation of women that it is are pro-woman. Any attempt to show a rape as possibly justified because she was asking for it, or as just an over-eager consentual sex act is misogynistic. This film generated way more controversy than it deserved, partly because it was a story that had no been told before as graphically. I have to wonder how sincere those who have recently commented that the rape scene is very disturbing are. I think it is worth watching for any fan of either Hemingway sister, otherwise, there are many better choices for the same story. C-.

Trivia

There are two reasons why the March 21, 1966 edition of Newsweek is now memorable:

• it was the issue which first quoted John Lennon's declaration that, "we're more popular than Jesus now"
• it featured an anonymous, pretty young woman on the cover - a symbol of the new youth movement in America. That woman would later become quite famous on a TV series called WKRP. Yes, she had a sex change and played Les Nessman. No, of course I'm fuckin' witcha. She played Bailey Quarters. Here is the cover which featured a 16 year old Jan Smithers. I would love to have a better version of this, if any of you have one.

Smithers almost completely disappeared from the public eye in the late 80s. She was married to, then divorced from, James Brolin, who is now famous or infamous as Mr Babs. In a short stint in the public eye, Smithers left behind no nudity for us to remember her by.

2 Days in the Valley (1996):

The success of Pulp Fiction must have been a liberating thing for many in the industry, including writer/director John Herzfeld. Herzfeld had been in the industry for about a quarter of a century when he made this movie, and his only theatrical feature film was made 13 year earlier  - something called Two of a Kind, starring John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John, featuring Gene Hackman as God. I'm not kidding. I haven't seen Two of a Kind, but I guess it must be just about as good as it sounds, scoring in the Ed Wood range at IMDb, with 3.7/10.

Herzfeld must have looked at Short Cuts (1993) and Pulp Fiction (1994) and thought "I can do that". So he did, and he did it well, despite having nothing in his previous decades in the industry that would show him capable of this film. 2 Days in the Valley is one part Tarantino and one part Altman, but Herzfeld has more heart than either of those directors. From Tarantino, Herzfeld got the strange combination of violence and comedy, and the admixture of cosmic or life-endangering events (murder and kidnap plots) with everyday dialogue about food and pets and other mundane matters. From Altman, he got the general feel of a large ensemble cast of superb actors playing interesting characters, in a plot in which none of them can emerge as a star, but all can shine in their moments. I guess that Danny Aiello has the most important role, but I wouldn't call him the star. There is no star. It is true ensemble acting.

The storyline follows all the parties in a murder. First we see the crime being committed by two men. Then we see one of the killers kill the other, after having planted some incriminating evidence at the murder scene which would tie the killed man to the crime. Seems neat enough.

Except that the dead killer is not dead at all. He was wearing a protective vest, and now must flee for his life. He ends up taking refuge in the home of a whiny rich art dealer and his devoted secretary. They are eventually joined by the art dealer's sister and a suicidal movie director. So the runaway would-be hit man suddenly finds himself with four hostages.

Meanwhile, the other hit man and his moll get together with their client, who turns out to be a woman who ordered the original hit on her husband in order to collect on a fat insurance policy. The squabbles and in-fights of these baddies also touch upon a vice detective who really wants to be in homicide, and turns out to be much too eager about investigating the crime, because he gets close enough to the truth that the hit man needs him out of the way.

Those nine characters lives keep winding together in very clever ways, so that we know the two hit men must inevitably confront each other.

It's a clever movie. The script is contrived, but you will have no trouble forgiving that because of the sheer entertainment value of the film, and the emotional rewards it supplies. Although it is filled with violence and cruelty, it also provides a very satisfying and almost too sentimental denouement for the characters who seem to deserve good luck.

Danny Aiello is very amusing as the hit man who gets set up as a patsy and narrowly escapes dying himself. He plays this character as a remarkably human person, a guy who could easily be your uncle. His pride is wounded because he's been working at a pizza parlor. He stops everything to adjust his bad toupee. He is afraid of dogs. He is so hungry that he cooks himself a gourmet meal while holding a gun on his hostages. He rightfully chastises the rich man for failing to respect and cherish his secretary.

Most of the characters are drawn with similar depth and affection, especially Eric Stoltz as the naive cop who really wants to get into homicide, and director Paul Mazursky as a washed-up and suicidal director.

I must be director Herzfeld's biggest fan, because I seem to like this movie more than anyone else does, and I was about the only person in the world who thought his follow-up, 15 Minutes, was very close to genius, a skillful blend of action film and social satire. I believe I wrote that it was "the brilliant satire which Natural Born Killers should have been". Chances are you won't like his films as much as I do, but I recommend them for fans of Tarantino and/or Altman.

• Charlize Theron (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6) plays an ice cold Swedish gun moll, with nothing on her mind but sex and murder. Charlize's acting career has taken a radically different turn since this movie, so it is a lot of fun to look back on this earlier period, to see her playing an evil woman and doing explicit sex scenes. She also does a memorable catfight with Teri Hatcher.
• Teri Hatcher (1, 2, 3)

Love the Hard Way (2001 or 2003 - take your pick. It started hitting the festival circuit in 2001, had a brief theatrical release this summer.)

Typical romantic urban street melodrama. Round up the usual plot. Sweet straight-A student from Columbia falls in love with a small time con artist. Turns out he's a soulful guy working on a novel, and she really has the potential to fit into his criminal world. Unfortunately, police detective Pam Greer (working undercover in one of Huggy Bear's old costumes), manages to make life really miserable for the hustler, and sends him to the slammer. And he's luckier than the college student.

Pretty much pure baloney. Take away the nudity, and the only reason to watch is Oscar winner Adrien Brody as the lovable, shy street hustler with a deep soul or some such crap.

Anyway, fuck the plot. It's really not a bad movie (Roger Ebert awarded a triplet), but nobody is ever going to see it. It isn't good enough to wow the arthouse crowd, and it's too gritty for mass audience appeal. It grossed a whopping $43,000 in the USA, and it took six weeks to get that much!

So when you discuss this film, and you won't, only three words are important: Charlotte Ayanna topless. The incredibly beautiful Ayanna has four, count 'em four, sex scenes in this movie, and her exposure gets progressively better as the movie progresses. It starts out as dark stuff, Ayanna underneath, with a hint of nipple in a frame or two, but by the end of the movie she's topless, facing the camera, in pretty good light.

She is one beautiful young woman. Junior and I were both ready to propose to her after Dancing at the Blue Iguana, and she looks every bit as good here.

• Ayanna (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

OTHER CRAP:

• Tragically, Dutch teens will now have to learn about sex the old fashioned way. The popular sex ed TV show 'This Is How You Screw' is off the air. I know how they feel. I still can't believe Howdy Doody is gone forever. Of course, Howdy didn't do much fuckin' with Buffalo Bob. Good thing, too, because that could have given Bob some very painful splinters.

• Headline in the Twin Cities: "ARE THEY FUNNING WITH US?" Survey says Minneapolis is most fun city in U.S. Yup, I agree. Fuck Vegas and N'Awlins and Miami and New York. Give me a summer cold, nasal accents and a top-notch mall every time!

• The Hollywood Walk of Fame is mysteriously buckling The Department of the Interior has been sent to do an environmental study, since celebrities are America's most precious natural resource.

• Dutch Chicks - Beach - Sun 'nuff said.

• CIA displays some of its spy gadgets

• Actress-singer Courtney Love was charged with two felony drug counts Tuesday Courtney charged with drug use? What are the odds?

• A tribute to the kiddie shows of the 70s. Electra Woman, The Ghostbusters, Isis, The Far-Out Space Nuts, and more.

• The new edition of MAXIM ONLINE has a pictorial on the incredible Jessica Alba. No nudity, but she is a living work of art. What a babe she is. I think that the last time we did those polls to determine the most beautiful woman and the sub-polls for the best legs and so forth, Laetitia Casta won "best face" and "hottest all-around babe", and I probably cast the same votes myself. I would now seriously consider changing my own vote to Alba in both categories.

• Pamela Anderson, woman of letters. Q: 'If a guy really wants to impress you, Pamela, what should he do?'  A: 'Besides penetration? It's the little things.' (She really said that!)

• 'Jackass' star found drunk, naked on hood of car. Why are they reporting this? I think it comes under the heading of "dog bites man", doesn't it?.

• Kylie has revealed that she will not bare her backside any more, fearing that she is too old.

• Did you ever wonder where strippers get their outfits? From an online stripper boutique, of course. Your one-stop shop for acrylic platform shoes, thigh-high boots, and more.

• NASA satellite photos of the fires in California. Incredible photographs.

• The Absolute Bottom 50 Worst Names for Horror Movies

• Watch the VW Beetle Morph from the original until the latest. Cool!

• vote for MAXIM HOMETOWN HOTTIES

• free Miki Sawaguchi gallery

• Dr. Fart speaks: "Everything you want to know about flatulence, and some things you don't." The author would be surprised by how little I really want to know about farts.

• need a Pulsed Plasma Mobile Hydrogen Generator? Got 95 million bucks? Get it now on e-bay!

• Said Mel Gibson to the Lord, "Lord, just give me a sign if you disapprove of my Jesus movie. Any sign, no matter how small."

• Rod Stewart goes all Mr Blackwell bitchy on his contemporaries

• Elvis Presley is Top-Earning Dead Celebrity

• The ancient art of Trouser Semaphore

• Play: "strip that girl"

• WayTooPersonals.com Personal ads that cross the line

• Get Rid Of Telemarketers By Being Silly

• RIAA Sues Amish Man for Illegally Whistling Copyrighted Material

• Page3.com ::: Page 3 Idol 2003 voting

• What is Chicago's #1 Halloween costume this year? The scariest thing in Chicago history - Steve Bartman.

• A monstrous amount of Resident Evil: Apocalypse film set pictures/videos/script tidbits

• Approaching 60 and coming off a second prison term, baseball's last 30 game winner, Denny McLain, hopes to bounce back one more time.

• The Brooksville Police Department is looking for an unidentified man who pointed a handgun at an Arby's employee and made off with his dinner - $4 worth of chicken fingers. The suspect apparently thought that the bag the victim was carrying contained the night's deposit.

• How to pick any Master Lock

• Disposable DVDs a Slow, Slow Sale

• To help meet the budget, Bush Lays Off Congress; will Outsource Lawmaking to India

• I can't even guess what Bjork is doing here

• Weekly World News: "Bulb-headed space aliens suffer terribly from migraines because their brains are the size of basketballs. And it's the desperate search for new and better painkillers that brings these creatures to Earth.

• Kutcher's Punk'd Show Goes Too Far Pranks on people like Mrs Rodman and Mr Pam have turned sour.

• Feds bust "designer supplement" chemist. Insiders say the trail will lead to Barry Bonds.

• Spiderman actress Kirsten Dunst is set to wed her boyfriend, Donnie Darko star Jake Gyllenhall, according to reports from London

• Demi Moore has dismissed reports she is planning to marry toyboy lover Ashton Kutcher on Valentine's Day in Vegas, being given away by Bruce Willis. She says every detail of the story was fabricated. Too bad. It was a pretty cool story.

• Still no peace in Middle East, despite the tireless efforts of Pitt and Aniston.

• Melanie Griffith & Anne Lockhart, both topless in scenes from the 1977 movie, "Joyride".

• Sigourney Weaver, topless in scenes from the indie flick "Death and the Maiden" (1994).

Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

It was an SNL skit, with Phil Hartman I think. He looks at the camera and says, "I'm not a real actor. I just play one on television." In a similar way, these caps are of women who are not actresses, they just play one on DVD.

What I've gone and done here is cap a couple of DVDs with no plots. no acting, just nekkid babes running around. Sorta like a Tinto Brass film.

In keeping... sort of... with a recurring theme of mine, a recurring nightmare of yours, or wet dream of some, most of the babes posted today have posed for the Hefmag. They have not achieved the lofty status of Hefmates, but they have got down and dirty in one of the Chicago-based publications.

First DVD is entitled Luscious Liquids. Entertaining piece of fluff, complete with interviews and behind the scenes stuff and then a lot of serious posing. All the babes do the triple-B bosa nova.

Those babes include Elina Gianni, Myla Martin, Shyra Deland and Brandi Coppock, the last of whom resembles Daryl Hannah. Which reminds me. Meant to congratulate Scoopy Jr for posting pictures of Lori Singer last week without referring to her as the poor man's Daryl Hannah. A moment in history.

A quick note about Myla Martin. She had a short scene in Rowdy Girls, that magnum opus starring both Shannon Tweed and Julie Strain. Myla didn't take her clothes off in that one, which pissed me off mightily because she looked so yummy (yumminess demonstrated here).

Well, she more than sorta made up for that sin of omission in Luscious Liquids. She is nekkid, nekkider and nekkidest while showing off a bum that could make a grown man swoon.

• Elina Gianni (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
• Myla Martin (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
• Shyra Deland (1, 2)
• Brandi Coppock (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

Second DVD is entitled Bikini Showgirls. It has two women of very different body types.

Erin Kay is a cute little thing, with a svelt, attractive and natural body. In contrast, Summer Leigh is a larger gal with a couple post-factory, off-the-shelf add-ons. I'm just sure someone finds her attractive.

• Erin Kay (1, 2, 3, 4)
• Summer Leigh (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

Thought I'd dig into my VHS vault for this batch.

Shelby Lane

Veronica Cash
(1, 2)

Kathy Shower

Samantha Phillips

ASHTON KUTCHER GETS POLITICAL
I-Rock, Dude! - Matt Drudge reports that Ashton Kutcher is getting involved in politics by hosting a $1,000-a-plate fundraiser for struggling Democratic presidential hopeful John Edwards. A source close to the Hollywood hottie said, "Ashton has been brushing up on all the issues."