Friday

Tuna
"Blueberry"

Blueberry (2004) is being released in the US on DVD under the title Renegade. Perhaps they are hoping they can escape all of the bad reviews it received under the original title in Europe. It is a peyote induced metaphysical romp through the old west with about 95 of the 124 minutes taken up with computer generated special effects, and the rest with grainy photography. The plot, approximately, is the Blueberry the main character, is sent west from Louisiana to become a man. He gets into a gun fight over a hooker (Vahina Giocante), who ends up dead, and escapes wounded. He is cured and raised by Indians, then is suddenly marshal of the town. He vows revenge to the man he fought with, who is part of a plot to steal gold from the sacred Indian mountains. Juliette Lewis has a crush on him. Several psychotic breaks later, the bad guy is dead, and he is underwater staring at Lewis' naked crotch (along with us). All of this is loosely based on a French comic book.

This is what the French call "ennui merde" or boring shit. Lewis does a lengthy spread legged full frontal underwater, and Giocante shows breasts and buns. IMDb readers have this at 5.1 of 10. There are exactly two reasons to watch this, Lewis and Giocante. So much for the first and last 5 minutes. The rest is one of the best cures for insomnia I have seen since trying to read the forward to Hegel's Philosophy of History. IF we call this a Western, it is a low D-. No genre over will want to get near it. As a pretentious, overly long French art film, it fairs a little better at C-.

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  • Juliette Lewis (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)
  • Vahina Giocante (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

     

    Other Crap:

    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the links above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

     

     

    MOVIE REVIEWS:

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

     

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Shiloh

    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

    NOTE: because of a unique combination of circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a picture. When you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.

    I know this is not especially convenient, but it allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips altogether.

     

    Stripped to Kill, Part 4

    There are about a zillion of these Grade B stripper movies with similar titles. This one is better than most. It is unusual in three ways (1) No Maria Ford!! (2) While it will not be confused with a David Mamet script, it does have a fairly interesting plot with some clever twists (3) It stars mainstream actress Key Lenz as an undercover cop posing as a stripper.

    You can find Lenz in the Tuesday page. Here is Michelle Foreman.

     

     

    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
     
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

    ICMS

    Words, pictures, and vids from ICMS
     

    Hi Scoopy !
     
    As promised I'm back with new stuff.
     
    Here's some caps and clips of Catherine Zeta-Jones in her debut film, 1990's "Les 1001 Nuits" (aka. 1001 Nights; Sheherazade). I don't remember much of the film except that it is a very lighthearted comedy without pretension about Sheherazade and the 1001 Nights tale. Or to use the words of French magazine DVDmania it is "a farce that would have quickly become pathetic if it had taken itself seriously".
     
    It is available on Region 2 DVD in France with French audio only in a 98 mintues version but, still according to DVDmania, the picture quality isn't great. "The omnipresence of grain and the frequent burnt-in spots (burns?) damage the quality of the image as a whole" are their findings and they rate it 2 stars out of 5 (most DVD's get 3 or 4 stars). If I remember correctly this flick first aired as a TV movie in two parts. I don't find any reference of this in the IMDb, nor is it on the DVD. Does any one know more about this?
     
    Anyway this comes from German digital TV and provides some extra material (breasts and buns) for that topless club she now has troubles with.
     
    That's it for now.
     
    Yours faithfully,
     
    ICMS

     

    Crimson Ghost
    NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.


    Today the Ghost serves up an excellent batch of 'caps and vids from the Skinemax flick "Passion's Peak" (2000).

    • Devinn Lane...the adult actress and director shows off her big'uns in several scenes. In links 7 and 8 she is fully nude, but it's a side view with boobage only. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
    • Devinn Lane zipped .wmv In this video clip, she strips out of her clothes revealing thong views and toplessness (see image links 9 and 10 for stills from this scene).

    • Former Miss USA (1991) Kelli McCarty. In these 'caps we see her topless in at least 2 love scenes, one shower scene and one bath tub scene. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)
    • Kelli McCarty zipped .wmvs. Vids 1 and 2 are love scenes. Vids 3 and 4 are bathing scenes. (1, 2, 3, 4)

    • Monique Parent (who for some reason went by the name Scarlet Johansing for this movie). Here she is showing off her silly-cones during some kind of solo scene. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
    • Monique Parent zipped .wmv

    • Renee Rea (billed as Samantha McConnell). Here she is also going topless in a love scene. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
    • Renee Rea zipped .wmv

    Dann
    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    "Undefeated"
    When it first aired, I was excited to see this 2003 HBO movie, because I love fight films, I like John Leguizamo, and I think Vanessa Ferlito has a very sexy and hot quality. Well, I got some of it right.

    Vanessa looked great in the movie, and Suzy McCoppin makes a believable call girl. Otherwise, the movie falls short.

    As a fight film which shows the rise of an amateur fighter to professional champion, it's extremely sterotyped and predictable. There isn't one unique thing in this movie, and the ending doesn't exist. The movie doesn't end, it stops.

    HBO has produced some great movies, but this isn't one of them. I saw this movie when it first aired, but even though I was disappointed in the movie, and even though it's been widely capped, I still wanted it for my collection, so here goes.

    Vareity
    Kelly Ripa
    (1, 2)

    		For my money, I'm willing to bet that Regis' co-host is "not quite right in the head". But she sure does look good in a sexy nurse outfit. Here are some 'caps of the overly tanned Ripa from her her sit-com "Hope and Faith".

    Claire Keim The French actress showing off some very lovely toplessness and rear nudity in scenes from "Le Sens des affaires" (2000).

    Penélope Cruz
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

    		Señor Skin 'caps of the Spanish babe topless in scenes from "La Niña de tus ojos" aka "The Girl of Your Dreams" (1998).

    Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    RED SOX BREAK 86-YEAR LOSING STREAK
    Finally, They Can Change Their Sox! - Last night, Boston Red Sox fans worldwide celebrated wildly as the Sox beat the Cardinals 3-0 to sweep the World Series, finally lifting the "Curse of the Bambino." The last time they won it was in 1918, when World War I was still on, Lindbergh was a teenager, John F. Kennedy was a baby, radio was just starting, and penicillin didn't exist.

  • Actually, not having penicillin was "the curse of the Bambino."
  • It was also the year of the great flu epidemic, and the Red Sox won because all the other teams were home in bed.

    That, And Seeing The Browns Win The Super Bowl - One excited lifelong Sox fan was Fred Hale Sr. of Syracuse, New York, documented as the world's oldest man at 113. After waiting 86 years, he said the thing he most wanted to see before he died was the Sox winning the Series again.

  • And now, he has nothing to live for...Thanks a lot, Red Sox!
  • His next goal is to live 86 more years and see them make it a two-fer.


    JUDGE THROWS A PARTY FOR CRIMINAL SENTENCING
    Texas Justice - Billy Wayne Williams of Dallas, Texas, had a long criminal record when he was accused of choking his girlfriend until she passed out. He jumped bail, was convicted in absentia, and captured last week. He arrived in court to find a surprise: Judge Faith Johnson had decorated the room with balloons and streamers and had a cake with his name and a candle representing his one year on the lam. She said, "We're so excited to see you, we're throwing a party for you," then sentenced him to life. A member of the Texas Commission on Judicial Conduct said she found it "troubling," and that the whole purpose seemed to be to make Williams feel bad.

  • Bad?! He got cake!
  • Right...so what's the troubling part?
  • This is Texas: he should be grateful the judge didn't throw a necktie party for him.


    ED WOOD'S FINAL FILM FOUND
    Nothin' Says Lovin' Like Something From The Coven - The lost final film of legendary "worst director of all time," Ed Wood, maker of "Plan 9 From Outer Space," is finally out on DVD this week from the Fleshbot porn website. Biographer Rudolph Grey searched for "Necromania" for 15 years. It's a 1971 porn film made when Wood was desperate for money, about a couple seeking sexual help from a coven of witches. Grey said it's low budget porn and the actors are hairy, but it has a story, and like all Wood's films, it's either "pure genius" or "so bad, it's good." For instance, the leading man spends 15 seconds trying to untangle a pair of pajama bottoms and cracks up laughing. Wood could have cut that out, but left it in.

  • It was either a bold artistic statement or he was staring at someone's boobs and didn't notice.
  • The pajamas were tangled in his leg hair.
  • During the three-way sex scene, he keeps cutting to stock footage of Bela Lugosi.
  • If only "Gigli" could've been THIS bad!