You know you're too old for trick-or-treating when ......

You get winded knocking on the door.
You come back with a bag full of restraining orders
You get compliments on your Keith Richards mask, and you don't have one.
You have to insist on high-fiber candy
You need the other trick-or-treaters to pre-chew the candy for you
When they drop a Snickers in your bag, you lose your balance and fall
You yell "trick ...." and can't remember the rest
You choose masks based on whether they dislodge your toupee
You bet Pete Rose who'll get more candy
You avoid all the houses where your ex-wives live.

Two pretty big surprises from non-theatrical sources???
This is, I think, a major find from Enigma. Janine Turner shows us her nipple in "A Secret Affair". I've never seen this before, and I have no bare-breasted shots of her in the Encyclopedia. The only skin I've ever seen from this girl is that side-of-the-butt shot from "Monkey Shines". She's 37 now. Long time to wait for a nipple.
This is an Akira collage of JLH in "Time of your Life", and she shows the side of her large left breast.

Today's runway action from Blinky is brought to you by the letter M, specifically Shirley Mallman (#1 , #2) and Valeria Mazza (#1 , #2 , #3 , #4 , #5 , #6 , #7) , of the famous ball-making family. Who here is not familiar with a Mazza Ball? There is also an unknown woman. They are all the same woman (#1 #2 #3 #4 #5) , and she's beautiful, but neither Blinky nor the FMI site can identify her. Number three is a must-see on the unknown woman.

Today's collages from, go after one of the great exploitation classics, "The Swinging Cheerleaders". There are two of Cheryl Smith ( #1 , #2 ), two of Jo Johnson, ( #1 , #2 ), and this one of Rosannne Katon.

What's this, more hard action from the formerly G-rated? Keep you eyes on the skies, fellas, the judgement day may be near. Like RDO, when Cougar gets his hands on a movie, he systematically caps everything worthwhile. He continues today, therefore, with lots more of Sarah Bellomo, aka Roxanne Blaze ( #3 , #4 , #5 , #6 , #7 , #8 , #9 , #10 , #11 , #12 , #13 , #14 , #15 , #16 , #17 , #18). Numbers 1 and 2 may be found on yesterday's page in the back issues.

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Each contributor looks for a way that he can add something special to the page. Not everyone can do those three-dimensional montages like Hugo or those colorful captures like Tuna. Those things take a great amount of time, access to source materials off the web, and lots of hard work and training (not to mention talent). And even when you're done and satisfied, you find that somebody like Hugo or Realist already did better ones! So guys look for a niche. Blinky found his, and we now have all the good stuff from all the fashion sites without actually having to pore through them. Worked out for everyone. WhyScans is a good scanner, but he's been looking for something to make him special, and I like what he's come up with. He's going to keep us up to date on the legendary Page Three Girls every day. Most excellent, dude. Normally, we'll just have the current one, but here's a starter set for us.

This is Jodie, from October 28. ( #1 , #2 , #3 , #4). This is Jo, from October 27. ( #1 , #2 , #3 , #4). This is Maria, from October 26. ( #1 , #2 , #3 , #4). This is Karen, from October 22. ( #1 , #2 , #3 , #4). This is Lisa, from October 21. ( #1 , #2 , #3 , #4). This is Nikki, from October 20. ( #1 , #2 , #3 , #4).

WhyScans also sent in these four of Melissa Joan Hart with some pokiosity in ths week's Sabrina (#1 , #2 , #3 , #4).

AP AP has a way of finding some things that are off the beaten bath. The source is "Club der Gespielinnen", but I'm not sure what name was used in the English distribution. I looked in the IMDb and couldn't find a joint project for Gabriella Hall, Lee Ann Beaman and Kate Rodger. Also I lost AP's original e-mail. Oh well, anyway, they're all naked. There are five of Kate ( #1 , #2 , #3 , #4 , #5), two of Gabriella ( #1 , #2), and two of Lee Anne ( #1 , #2).

DiamondEdge did just great today, with five of Kim Yates in "Dangerous Invitation".( #1 , #2 , #3 , #4 , #5 ). He recommended the movie, "two beautiful women and an OK plot".

Our top anonymous contributor sent these. They were requested on the message board, but he wasn't sure how to post them, so here are the requested naughty full-frontals of Kimberly Kelley ( #1 , #2 , #3 , #4 , extreme gynecological close-up).

The Snapper: words and pictures. More from Arthur Elgort's 'Models Manual'. Sitting around topless today are Lisa Taylor, Paulina Porizkova, and Gia (the dead junkie). The Gia picture is scanned from a postage stamp-sized original so is not the highest quality but that's life, I suppose. Lisa Taylor is relaxing with her hairdresser, though personally I don't normally take my top off at these moments; in fact my barber generally wraps a towel round my neck to catch the falling hair. If my experience is anything to go by, the hairdresser here has just finished telling Lisa about his holiday in Tenerife and is about to ask her whether she saw the soccer match on TV last night. Lisa is now faced with a dilemma: if she admits to having seen the soccer, the hairdresser may bore on about it for the next fifteen minutes; but if she denies it, he may ask her whether she is going - or has been - on holiday this year. Lisa looks like an intelligent sort of girl and probably spent two weeks visiting Romanesque basilica churches in northern Italy, but she probably won't want to admit this, because it will lead the hairdresser to begin to tell her about an interesting religious experience he had with a new age crystal therapist. Therefore, in my view, Lisa will admit to the soccer and find herself agreeing with the hairdresser that the referee was terrible, but that Manchester United just aren't the team that they were last year.

Friday

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