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This top section includes Scoop's site notes, images, vids, web finds, and meandering prattle. |
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Cattivi Pensieri (1976) Never seen it, but it was underrepresented in
the Encyclopedia, so I made a few collages from the ICMS film clips.
The Legend of Samhain (2002)
I decided to watch this horror film because some of the IMDB
commenters and genre reviewers touted it as a wild extravaganza of
gore and T&A, featuring a combination of actors and porn stars.
It was a bit disappointing in that regard. Let me take it point by
point:
GORE:
The gore is very impressive, but you have to wait a long time to
see it. There is a gory scene before the credits, followed by about an
hour of exposition before you see more. After that point, however, it
goes wild. At one point, the monster pulls a guy's insides out through
his asshole. Jenna Jameson (with the help of her inanimate body
double) gets torn apart and eaten. This includes the funniest moment
in the film. The cannibal monster rips her apart bit by bit and even
thinks he has found a new body part to snack on - but he finds it
unappealing - it is her breast implant! The coolest thing about the
molded Jenna Jameson is that it includes a perfectly formed and fully
exposed pussy!
T&A:
Same deal. There is some nudity before the credits, then nothing
for about an hour. There really isn't that much overall, much of it is
done with molded stand-ins, the lighting is not good, and the DVD
transfer is grainy. Chasey Lain and her mannequin show breasts,
Jenna shows her breasts, Jenna's mannequin shows the full monty,
Gillian Leigh is nude in a shower scene which is filmed in such a way
to avoid any worthwhile still images, and Taylor Hayes shows her
breasts as a woman held captive by a monster.
MOVIE:
It's a very routine slasher/cannibal horror film, with dialogue in
the general self-referential mold of Scream. The characters watch
horror films, discuss horror films, and talk about their own
predicaments in terms of what horror film characters should or
shouldn't do. Excluding the shocking pre-credits segment, the first
hour of the film is just the usual set-up and foreshadowing, entirely
predictable and not at all sensational. It will bore anyone from
hard-gore aficionados to mainstream audiences. The only real strength
of the films first two thirds is some ghoulish background supplied by
the twisted, gnarled trees of a swampy, isolated forest.
The denouement of the film, however, is creative, and is as grisly
and over-the-top as advertised, and will satisfy the gorehounds among
you.
DVD Features:
This is the best news. There isn't much in the way of extras, but
there is a beautiful photo gallery. It includes alternate angles of
movie scenes as well as many "behind the scenes" photos which
demonstrate the best special effects. There is also plenty of nudity,
and it is both clearer and more copious than in the film itself.
The DVD is only available in Region 2. (Not in North America.)
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"Dead Women in Lingerie"
Dead Women in Lingerie (1991) is a thriller. Illegal aliens in a garment plant are being murdered. The designer, Maura Tierney, hires private detective John Romo to track down the killer. The film attempts to deliver an important message about the plight of illegal garment workers, and most especially how the Green Card Amnesty was not good for most families. Tierny shows breasts in a sex scene with Romo.
There are virtually no false suspects, and you should have the whodunnit portion figured out by the second murder. IMDb readers say 4.4 of 10. Tierney was charming in the role, and Romo did a good job with his character, but this seems to have been written and directed by someone who didn't really know how to make this material work. In fact, they were the same person, Erica Fox. This is her earliest writing and directing credit. The poor direction is most evident in one sided phone conversations. I never once believed there was someone on the other end of the phone. The title was spoken as dialogue three times. I guess Fox wanted to make sure we "got it."
This could have been an erotic thriller, by simply getting the murdered girls naked, it could have been a social justice film with more emphasis on the illegals' plight, or a love story. It ended up being tepid no matter what genre you tried to put it in. Fox dedicated it to her grandmother, who was an emigrant garment worker in New York. This, unfortunately, is a D. The leading characters were interesting enough to carry a film, but there were just too many problems for it to work.
"Forever, Lulu"
Forever, Lulu (1987) is a mystery starring Hanna Schygulla as a wannabe author barely surviving in New York. After getting fired, having her latest manuscript rejected, having her apartment broken into, then being hit for the cost of dinner by a blind date insurance salesman, she decides to commit suicide in the rain on the sidewalk. A couple going by think they are being held up, and give her their coats, a mink and a cashmere. In the pockets, she finds a wallet, a day book with an appointment, and keys to the flat where the appointment is to take place. When she gets there, she finds herself in the middle of a drug deal and a police sting. Six people end up dead on the floor, and she takes off with several million in mob money and drugs.
The mob wants her, but when she takes everything to the cops, her life turns around. Suddenly, her book is published, she is becoming rich and famous, and a cop is courting her. Unfortunately, the mob is still after her. She shows breasts in a bath scene, and an unidentified stripper also shows breasts.
IMDb readers say 4.4 of 10. Scoopy covered this calling it a good enough script poorly executed. I agree completely with his D-.
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Today we return to "Ginger" for one more look. Why? Because there is another "Babe in Bondage" in the shape of Michele Norris.
First she gets tied up topless on the beach. Then she does a slow strip to stark naked and winds up being tied up and raped on the bed.
Bonus 'caps:
Some quick "Hankster Light" as Linda Susoeff shows boobs while having some lesbo fun with Cheri Caffaro
Linda Susoeff
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Today we've got six clips of another Fun House regular, Edwige Fenech.
I already knew that the 70's babe of French-Tunisian descent wasn't afraid of
letting it all hang out, but in 1976's "Cattivi Pensieri" (Evil Thoughts),
directed by well known Italian actor Ugo Tognazzi, she went a bit further than I
expected. In her movies Edwige normally just takes her clothes off, be it
topless or something more, but here you can see her coming very close to some
real action. As you can see in clip #1 her male counterpart, Luc Merenda,
didn't remain completely insensitive to Edwige's charms. And be sure not to miss
the swimming pool scene with the fake penises either.
Sure, it is typical outdated 1970's stuff, but it is still fun to watch as it
is a witness of crazy times that seem gone for ever. When exactly did we lose
our joie-de-vivre and innocence and become overly serious and concerned?
Cattivi Pensieri is available on DVD in Italy, but it's a transfer from a VHS
tape. Since that's is not good enough for Fun House readers I'm glad I can offer
you clips from Italian digital TV. They clearly didn't use a VHS master, so
you're probably getting the best possible quality here. And hot off the presses
too, since this aired only last night at 4 a.m.
- Edwige Fenech
(1,
2,
3,
4,
5,
6)
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'Caps and comments by Dann:
"Gypsy Eyes"
Claire Forlani plays a Gypsy thief who winds up in the wrong place at the wrong time in this 1992 thriller set in Slovenia.
In the hotel room of an American Embassy official supposedly for a date, she slips him a knockout drug so she can rob him. When she returns from the bathroom, he's out all right, but a man with a gun is in the process of killing him....a pretty easy target since he's already passed out. The bad guy spots our Gypsy trying to escape, but she eludes him....for now.
As a local detective and a CIA agent who is a friend of the dead man hunt the Gypsy to find the only witness, the bad guys hunt the Gypsy to eliminate the only witness.
Predictable but decent thriller is greatly enhanced by a beautiful Claire Forlani in her film debut, plus an added bonus of an interesting look at Gypsy life in Slovenia.
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| Claire Forlani |
Ashley Graham |
Various |
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"A mutated gene known as delta 32, found in Black Death survivor
descendants, stops HIV in its tracks."
Gators hand first loss to Georgia
Texas was down 28-12 at halftime!
Of course, they still won by 19, but
still ... we have seen some chinks in their armor.
- You complain that the quarterback is their whole team? Nonsense. One
of their guys rushed for 267 yards. Oops! That WAS the quarterback.
This site is a tremendous source of Edwige Fenech information and images
"In 2002, Spin magazine referred to the heavy metal umlaut as 'the
diacritical mark of the beast'."
Federline sings. Britney tells him not to quit his day job, or lack thereof.
Daily Box Office - Friday, October 28, 2005
- These results are not as routine as the numbers we see in most weeks.
There is some news. It's even good news. Saw II did much better than
predicted. Box Office Mojo predicted 17 million, and it came within sight
of that on Friday alone. It may double the prediction.
- There was a wild disparity in the Zorro predictions, but the Weekend
Warrior predicted a second place finish with 16 million, and he will be
close.
- There was also a large gap between the Prime predictions. Neither
Warrior nor Mojo thought it would be a hit, but their guesses ranged from
3.6 to 6.8. In this case, it appears that Mojo's 6.8 will be close to the
mark.
- Both predictors thought Doom would drop very fast, in the 60% range,
from last weekend. It appears now that they underestimated just how steep
the fall would be. Among films which opened at ten million or more, the
all-time largest percentage drop was recorded by Star Trek: Nemesis, which
dropped from $18.5 to $4.4. It appears that Doom could be in that same
general territory.
"Musical furry lobster feeling chirpy"
Nostalgia for you upstate New Yorkers ...
The History Of Schultz & Dooley
The trailer for G (now playing)
- A contemporary African-American romance inspired by the classic F.
Scott Fitzgerald story The Great Gatsby. Set amidst the grandeur of the
ultra elite Hamptons, G follows self-made millionaire and rap mogul Summer
G (Richard T. Jones) on a journey to regain what he desires most - the
love of his life.
Seven clips from Prime
(New flick with Uma and Streep. Psychologist
finds out a patient is dating her son.)
Three clips from Walk the Line
(Joaquin Phoenix as Johnny Cash.)
- Despite strong performances by Philip Seymour Hoffman as Capote and
Strathairn as Murrow, many people think Phoenix will pick up some acting
hardware this year. You can hear him sing in the "Cocaine Blues" clip.
- Reese Witherspoon looks great as a brunette.
- After watching these clips, I'm still a little skeptical about this
film.
Here's a featurette about Walk the Line
Chevy Chase alert ...
The trailer for Ellie Parker
- Ellie Parker (Naomi Watts) races around town from one audition to
another, changing make-up, clothes and personality. She speeds along,
barely attending to her whirlwind life as she strives to get cast in a
movie. Her best friend Sam (Rebecca Rigg), her boyfriend Justin (Mark
Pellegrino) and her new fling Chris (Scott Coffey) just don’t seem to
help. As Ellie considers giving up after losing faith in the craft, her
manager Dennis (Chevy Chase!!) doesn’t exactly talk her out of it. One
last insane audition for Ellie, and she’s back in the game… or is she?
The trailer for
Final Destination 3.
- This may have potential. The third installment reunites director James
Wong and writer Glen Morgan, the team that made the first one a cool
movie. Neither of them was involved in FD2.
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Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.
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