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* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).
* White asterisk:
expanded format.
*
Blue asterisk: not mine.
No asterisk: it probably
sucks.
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OTHER CRAP:
Catch the deluxe
version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles,
here.
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Sechs Schwedinnen von der Tankstelle
(1980)
Sechs Schwedinnen von der Tankstelle is an Erwin C.
Dietrich sex farce. It once enjoyed a US release under the name High
Test Girls, but has long since been unavailable.
Six Swedish girls have inherited a Swiss filling station/tavern,
and have taken to getting their own tanks filled while the customers
buy petrol. The petrol-buying motorists love the service. The
mayor's wife thinks the girls are sinful, and nags him to get rid of
them. However, her real motive becomes clear when the mayor leaves
for a city council meeting, and one of the councilmen drops by to
service her. In fact, one of the four councilmen takes care of the
mayor's wife before every meeting, inevitably delaying the start.
The ingenious girls also rig a bicycle with a dildo piston in the
seat, and all of them ride it. Not content with eight women showing everything,
riding a bicycle dildo, and having
simulated sex, Dietrich also created one of the peak moments in
cinema history. Imagine six naked Swedish
women running in slow motion along a stream through the forest for
probably 10 minutes. This was classic fare from adult night at the drive-in, and we wouldn't
have felt in any way cheated by this one. Lots of naked women having
good clean dirty fun.
The DVD transfer is a little soft and a little washed out,
but has no gross defects and sports a decent English dub.
The naked women are played by Brigitte Lahaie, Nadine Pascal,
France Lomay, Jane Baker, Flore Sollier, Elodie Delage, Elsa
Maroussia and Barbara Moose.
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Notes and collages
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
part 1 of ?
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La Picara Justina
This is the last of series of 1982 TV-Movies.
One faithful day the Mother of Justina (Ana Obregón) chokes and dies trying to swallow a whole sausage. Justina is left with everything
they have and she starts using her charms to keep going until one day her brothers come to reclaim their part. Justina keeps giving them things but they are never happy so she figures out a way to end this situation.
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Action Girls volume 3 gives us a dozen gals to look at, eight of them with
names attached. Here are the best looking of the bunch in some sort of order.
They are Chantel Williams, Silvie Thomas and Victoria Roberts. Silvie's strip
and wiggle scene is filmed in a supermarket or something very much like that
whereas Chantel and Victoria look to be hanging around a garage in downtown
Prague. Or so I am guessing.
Triple B performance in all the B's glory.
Film clips:
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Wrong Turn 2
If you're familiar with the 2003 horror flick Wrong Turn, then you'd
probably expect it's 2007 direct-to-video sequel to be about people in the
woods being hunted by inbred mutant cannibals, and you'd be right. They
did manage a few twists, though, and for its type, it's not terrible.
Participants and crew are filming a reality show deep in the West
Virginia woods, where the gimmick is that they're post-apocalyptic
survivors who must deal with simulated problems like virus outbreaks,
radiation contamination, and the like. The winner gets $100,000. What they
don't know is that the loser gets.... dead.
Predictable yet fun for horror freaks, the action is good, and there
are a few minor surprises, but the cinematography, or rather videography,
is fairly poor, and the DVD quality is pretty shaky. Still, the blood
flows, which is kind of what this type of movie is all about.
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| Crystal Lowe |
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The Comedy Wire
Comments in yellow...
A Halloween poll by the AP and Ipsos found that about one-third of Americans
believe in ghosts, and one fourth think they've seen or felt a ghost. Single
people, Catholics and people who never attend church are most likely to think
they've seen a ghost. And oddly enough, 31 percent of liberals think they've
seen a ghost, compared to only 18 percent of conservatives.
* If a conservative sees a pale, shrieking banshee, he
just assumes it's Ann Coulter.
Citizens of Lansing, Michigan, can rest easy on Halloween, knowing that local
police are prepared in the event of a zombie attack. Police lieutenant Bruce
Ferguson said the force has been training for years for all kinds of mock
disasters, so if a swarm of zombies comes in on I-496 westbound, they're ready
to block the exits so they miss the city. And if they do invade, the police
know how to close the streets and where to get hold of a ready supply of
chainsaws.
* Of course, if the zombies take the turnpike and come in on I-496 eastbound,
Lansing is screwed.
That's Not A Leather Jacket, It's My Skin
Henry "Fonzie" Winkler is 62 today.
* He used to go "Aaaaaay!," but now he goes, "Oyyyyyyyy!"
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