The Amorous Mis-Adventures of Casanova (1979) is a German, Austrian, French and Italian co-production. It is a typical 70s sex farce in every way. All voice is dubbed, they used a figure from history, everybody is stupid, everybody is horny, and the hired a few known actors. In this case, Tony Curtis plays a dual role as Casanova, and as a criminal look-alike. The horny and frequently naked women include Britt Ekland (her character shows a breast) and Marisa Barenson (who shows most of a breast).

The plot is more or less about Casanova and the crook, both fleeing from the authorities, and both running into horny women everywhere they go. The crook takes full advantage, but Casanova has trouble getting it up.

There is a ton of nudity:

Jeannie Bell - Breasts
Lillian Mueller - Breasts and Buns
Olivia Pascal - All three Bs
Jenny Arase - Breasts and Buns
Sylva Koscina - Breasts and Buns
Marissa Mell - Breasts
Three other women show full frontal in a game of strip dice. They are credited as Katja Christine, Carla Romanelli and unknown female.

IMDb readers have it at 4.0 of 10. I never really liked these European sex farces, and this one was no better than others of its type, however, they always deliver on the nudity, and seem to have a sense of fun, rather than lust or passion. As a European Sex Farce, this is better than most in that it has several recognizable cast members, and is hence a C+. If you enjoy these, this one is worth seeing.

Nine friggin' years:

Although the site did not become a daily 'zine until somewhat later, I started doing Uncle Scoopy's Fun House in November of 1995. I'm not sure of the exact day when we went "on the air", so I guess November 1st is as good a day as any to celebrate the anniversary. Nine years of my life. Ho-ley shit!

The Sweet Ride (1968):

I have to get a copy of this film. How can you not want to see a film that includes both Gilligan and Jacqueline Bisset's first screen nudity? Music by Moby Grape and Dusty Springfield? This might end up on my all-time favorites shelf next to Road House! Somebody tell me how to obtain a copy of this.

Shiloh's film clip appeared a couple of days ago. Here are a few frames, just because we've never seen any frames from this movie before.

• La Bisset

The Soft Kill (1994):

The basic pleasures we get from working on this kind of a site are the pleasures of a researcher. Oh, I'm not going to tell you that we don't enjoy being able to watch lots of movies, because we love movies. You have to if you want to keep doing this for nine years. And I certainly won't deny that we love looking at some of the most beautiful and famous naked chicks in the world. Of course we do, just as all of you do. And, in fact, we also get a lot of joy out of writing a good article or creating a beautiful collage. There is great satisfaction in that.

But the greatest moments, the ones we live for, are when we find some nude scene like Carroll Baker's deleted scenes in Baba Yaga. We sit there in front of the screen thinking how we can't wait to share this, because even Hef and his "Sex in the Cinema" writers have never seen this before, and don't know of its existence. That is our equivalent of an archeologist's joy at finding a new book of the Bible, or the kind of joy a historian feels (like that guy in Finland last week) when he finds forgotten film footage of Hitler sharing his candid thoughts.

I came pretty close to that joy with The Soft Kill. There is an explicit xxx fuck scene in this film which nobody has ever seen.

• I know Craig Hosoda, author of The Bare Facts, has not seen it, because he lists all the nudity from Kim Morgan Greene and Carrie-Anne Moss, but never mentions the scene with Michael Harris and Judith Ziehn.

• I know the CNDb guys have never seen this scene for the very same reason.

• I know the MPAA has never seen this scene, because they sure as hell didn't give this cut an R with an erect penis and gaping spread shots, even though the action is are pretty far from the camera.

In fact, I'm pretty sure that the people who mastered this DVD do not realize that this print does not match earlier video releases or the version the MPAA saw, because the box is clearly labeled R. They don't realize this is an unrated version with an extra scene. I suppose the scene was simply cut from the film originally, and this DVD was remastered from some previously pristine source medium which hadn't ever been trimmed.

There was no problem in cutting the scene. It was perfectly gratuitous. Michael Harris plays a P.I. who used to be a cop. Harris is the world's horniest guy. The murderer knows that, so he sets up a murder to take place in the D.A.'s house after Harris has been boning the daylights out of the D.A.'s wife. Sweet frame, eh?

The scene in question has nothing to do with the plot. Harris is at a cemetery with his ex-partner. While the police officer pays his respects to his dead wife, Harris hits on a nearby widow wearing a red hat. Momentarily, we see the red hat in Harris's house, and then we see the scene of Harris and the widow (Judith Ziehn) humping away in an assortment of positions that even the Kama Sutra didn't cover. At one point, the widow is on her back, Harris grabs one of her legs and flips her over with her legs spread as far apart as they can go, in the process turning her genitalia to the camera. A few seconds later, we see Harris thrusting into her from behind, activity which seems like pretty standard soft-core footage. It was just meant to establish that he will use any occasion as an excuse to get laid. The woman is never seen again in the film.

But our subconscious minds tell us that there are two things wrong with this scene, and these things register immediately in our minds in the following ways:

1. "This isn't suppose to be a softcore movie. It's a thriller. Carrie-Anne Moss is in this film, and her little daughter in the film is in a whole bunch of g-rated footage with Harris and Moss and cute little duckies."

2. "Holy shit - this isn't SOFTcore". When Harris pulls back after a thrust, we see something that we should not. His erect penis actually slips out of her and into full camera view!

Wow!

I mentioned earlier that I came "pretty close" to the thrill of a great discovery. Why not all the way? Because nobody knows just who Judith Ziehn is. She is a cipher. She has no other credits at IMDb. A Google search unearths no other references to her besides her credit in this film. You can't even see who she is in this film. In the sex scene, you can see that she is a redhead with long hair, and that she has big breasts which are probably implants. But there is no good look at her face. In the cemetery, she is wearing dark glasses and is seen from quite a long distance.

So...

It's a great sex scene between Ziehn and Harris, but the identity of this women is a total mystery.

If you happen to be a woman or a gay guy who finds Michael Harris particularly attractive, this film could be the thrill of your life, because you're gonna see ol' Captain Helmet, and you're gonna see him at attention and in battle.

Complete Spoilers Ahead

What about the movie?

Predictable, standard fare. Who framed Harris for the murder?  What about the evil D.A. whose wife was having an affair with Harris? What about Carrie-Anne Moss, who inherited half of a considerable fortune from the murdered woman, who was her sister? What about the really gung-ho, by-the-books cop who really wants to pin the murder on Harris, because Harris was one of those renegade cops who broke the rules and didn't even fill out the paperwork? What about the ex-con who swore revenge on both Harris and the evil D.A. after they teamed up to send him up the river.

Nah! All of those are red herrings.

Look for the one guy Harris trusts, the guy you would least suspect. And then you can expect the callous, womanizing Harris to fall in love for the first time in his life. And then he'll have to risk his own life to rescue his true love and her daughter from the incredibly insane bad guy.

As I said, it's standard fare.

The scriptwriter did make something which I considered to be a mistake. The guy Harris trusted kept steering Harris away from one spot in his house. Up until the first time he did that, I had no idea who the murderer was, but once I saw that "forbidden" part of the home, I knew instantly where everything would lead. I figured that the guy's wife's death probably had something to do with her having sex with Harris, and that was probably also why Harris left the force. That wasn't exactly right, but wasn't very far from the explanation. In my judgment, there was no need to give away the hand like that, especially not as early in the film as that happened.

I suppose you might also say the director and the casting director made a mistake. Once you see Brion James in a movie, can you expect anyone else to be the murderer? I know you don't recognize the name, but you know who Brion is. You remember him as Leon, the stupid, ugly replicant from Blade Runner. One look at him, and you know he did it. There his sloping forehead, and his grotesque curved nose which precedes him into a room by a minute. There's his lumbering presence, his gruff grunts, and his befuddled scowl. I don't even know what the crime is, but I know he did it. If he's in a movie, there must be some crime for him to have committed. The Soft Kill would work much better if somebody unthreatening and likeable, like Matt Damon or Owen Wilson, had been cast as the crazy murdering cop. Both of those guys have been brilliant and chilling as psychotic murderers (in Mr Ripley and Minus Man respectively) simply because they seem to be such nice, sincere guys. But Brion? He looks scarier without makeup than Robert Englund looks after he's been transformed into Freddy Krueger. Let's face it/ Whatever unsolved crimes exist in the world ...  look no further. Brion probably committed them.

• Carrie-Anne Moss (1, 2, 3)

• Kim Morgan Greene (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

• the mysterious Judith Ziehn (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6) (You'll see Harris's erect dick, freshly slipped from her, in collage #4)

Other Crap:

• The two scariest Halloween costumes this year.
• Coors Light presents a truly obnoxious Halloween beer-counting game.
• Wow! The Pats not only lose the streak, but they get crushed like a Tokyo street sweeper in a Godzilla movie. I guess the Steelers are for real, eh? They amassed more than 200 rushing yards against the champs, and threw for 75% passing accuracy as well.
• Slate's Election Scorecard - Where the presidential race stands today. Slate's analysis says that several of the "battleground" states can now be placed with some confidence into the Kerry or Bush column, and that Tuesday's election really hinges on only three states: Florida, Ohio, and Minnesota. As they see it, whichever candidate takes two of those three states will win all the marbles, all the tea in China, the whole Magilla, the whole nine yards, the ...
• Urban Legend: A Texas woman who cast her vote for all Democratic candidates discovered her ballot marked for Bush/Cheney. Status: True.
  • Hell, here in Texas, Bush and Cheney probably have the Democratic party endorsement.
  • There is an ... um ... innocent explanation, but it doesn't really matter. As Saddam did in Iraq, Bush is expected to get about 102% of the votes in Texas, and we only have so many electoral votes, so ...
  • (That Saddam thing is no joke, by the way. Saddam had 100% of the vote, with 100% of all eligible voters having voted - until some election officials found some uncounted absentee ballots, and Saddam finished with 102 votes for every 100 eligible voters! This was still far short of LBJ's record here in Texas.)
• Film Jerk's indispensible Early Report for this week.
• Lots of Luba, photographed by Hegre. (Lots of naughty pics, but broadband only)
• al Jazeera showed six minutes of an eighteen minute tape - what did Osama say in the deleted scenes? More important, is there any additional nudity from Denise Richards?
• A Halloween babe gallery from retroCRUSH.
• Weekend Box Office October 29-31, 2004 - The Grudge holds on for another #1 weekend. Ray and Saw also did well, and those three films waged a neck-and-neck battle for the top spot, with Ray taking the top spot in average revenues per screen.
• Halloween special from Landover Baptist - Haunted Hell House 2004 will show John Kerry's Horrifying Agenda for America
• Packers win one for the Dripper. Yup, the Pack defeated the Redskins, thus predicting a victory for the Haunted Tree and the Breck Girl over their ketchup-hating rivals, Chimpy McFlightsuit and Darth Cheney. (Hey, dudes, I tried to insult everyone equally.) How accurate are the auspices? "Since 1936, the outcome of the Redskins' last home game before the election has correctly predicted the winner of the election."
• Playmate Gallery - Summer Altice, Miss August 2000 - Courtesy of PlayboyPlus.com!
• Four free short clips from a SPICE UNCENSORED video! This site houses the footage which is too nasty for Spice TV.
• Three new polls were released today, all with identical results (given the margin of error): Rasmussen Reports today calls it Bush 48, Kerry 47. (Margin of error +-2 at 95% confidence.
• Zogby International polling shows the popular vote at 48-48 today!
• ABC/Washington Post - shows the popular vote at 48-48 today.
• Oprah Magazine's "50 Greatest Chick Flicks of All Time". The list includes "Aliens", "Bull Durham" and Hitchcock's "Notorious."
  • There is no doubt that Aliens is a terrific movie, but men like it more than women do (objective measurement: it rates higher with male voters than with females at IMDb). Men and women are about even in their appraisal of Notorious. Women do like Bull Durham more than men do, but the difference in the ratings is small.
  • This is a particularly sloppy list that was assembled with little thought to what a chick-flick is. It is a film that women like way better than men? Is it a flick that women really love, irrespective of men's opinions? By either of those definitions, this list left the all-time #1 completely out of the Top 50. This is equivalent to making a list of the fifty best baseball players and leaving out Babe Ruth and Honus Wagner.
  • Our own measurement of "chick-flicks" is calculated by taking the female rating at IMDb and subtracting the male rating. Based on that measurement, the all-time champion chick-flick among major releases is Dirty Dancing at 1.9. Women rate the Swayze flick as an all-time classic at 7.5 (higher than they rate Bull Durham), but men evaluate it as a stinker: 5.6.
  • Another possible objective measurement would be the raw score awarded by women. In other words - if you ask women to rate movies, which one do they simply rate the highest? The winner in that case is Amelie, which is a genuinely brilliant movie, which women love, and which is not even in Oprah's Top 50!
• Historic Losing Day for Fans in Florida. It was the first time since 1978 that Florida, Florida State, and Miami all lost on the same day.
• Elton John blames his hissy fits on the fact that he's just such a darned creative genius.
  • Didn't Ted Bundy use that same defense?
  • I'm no shrink, but my guess is "PMS envy."
• German couple arrested for making love on a street in the middle of a busy shopping district. They were interrupted and cited for disturbing the peace, though it seems to me that the interrupting policeman was the one who disturbed the piece.
• Film fans in the UK choose "The Worst Film Remakes". Get Carter finished first, and deservedly so. The list includes both film-to-film remakes and TV-to-film adaptations. Thunderbirds was the worst in the latter category.
• Halloween mood enhancer - Afterlife | the 4 seasons of Streatham Cemetery. Spooky, and a real downer.
• The Minnesota Association of Rogue Taxidermists
• RealClear Politics made one change to its electoral map on Halloween - trick for Kerry, treat for Bush - they moved Michigan from the Kerry column to the undecided group.
• Mostly tricks for Bush, treats for Kerry. Electoral-Vote.com redid their map and reversed yesterday's Bush margin of 280-243 to today's Kerry margin of 283-246!!. Their map changed significantly today as a result of incorporating new polls in battleground states. The highlights: Nevada from Bush to undecided, New Mexico from Bush to Kerry, New Hampshire from Kerry to undecided, Michigan from Bush to Kerry, New Jersey from undecided to Kerry, Iowa from Bush to Kerry. Most of these changes are based on a shift from one statistically insignificant leads to another, but the most recent polls do show Kerry with leads greater than the margin of error in New Jersey and Wisconsin, while showing Bush with a lead greater than the margin of error in New Mexico and coming very close to that level in Ohio.
• JoBlo.com has the first exclusive footage of the Fantastic Four in action.
• Electoral-Vote.com calls it for Bush 280-243 today. Strangely enough, it doesn't add up to 538 because they are calling New Jersey undecided. (New Fuckin' Joisey!! Zogby said in an interview yesterday that he doesn't even bother to poll there.) Battleground states switch every day on their map. They moved Colorado, Iowa and Ohio to Bush, but moved Minnesota, Pennsylvania and Florida to Kerry!
• Sometimes you Americans feel like a nut - sometimes you don't. "There are times when America wants the eloquent, nuanced multilateral, French-speaking, consensus-building, flexible and cautious negotiator. And then there are times when the country wants the plain-spoken butt-kicking aggressive unilateralist cowboy. Guess which time this is?"
• Osama bin Laden Returns: President Bush Urges Voters To Kindly Disregard the Fugitive Psychopathic Caveman Brazenly Promising the Mass Extermination of Americans - WHITEHOUSE.ORG

Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the links above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Words from Scoop.

.avi's from Shiloh.

.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

NOTE: because of a unique combination of circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a picture. When you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.

I know this is not especially convenient, but it allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips altogether.

Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

Shiloh says:

FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.

 

When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

A reader says:

You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you or your users.

Scoop says:

I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

Words, pictures, and vids from ICMS
 

• Mirren - clip 1 (.wmv zipped, .avi zipped) (Scoop's note: these three clips are all the same scene, divided into three shorter segments)
• Mirren - clip 2 (.wmv zipped, .avi zipped)
• Mirren - clip 3 (.wmv zipped, .avi zipped)
• Maxwell clip (.wmv zipped, .avi zipped)

Club Wild Side 2 (called Inside Club Wild Side on the DVD cover) is a soft-core extravaganza. It has six gals I recognize in about a dozen scenes, some in which they strip, most of which they do the double-backed monster. You got your Nancy o'Brien and your Monique Parent and you Taimie Hannum, all of them B-movie queens or at least princesses. But what elevates the movie's game considerably is Brande Roderick. This was Brande before she robotized the equipment and before she was monthly Hefmate for April 2000 and yearly Hefmate for 2K. Brande got seriously nekkid in seven scenes, six of them sport-humpin (3 guys. one of them 3 times, and one gal) and one posing sans clothes.

I've got 33 clips of Brande, for a total of more than ten minutes on-screen nekkid time. To which I know all you folk down Texas-way must be saying, "Yee ha!"

Here is the first batch of Brande clips, plus I'll even throw in one of Taimie Hannum (she played an uncredited stripper).

• Brande Roderick zipped divx .avis (1, 2, 3)
• Taimie Hannum zipped divx .avi

"A Bold Affair"
Capped on request, this 1998 thriller features soap star Schae Harrison (The Bold & The Beautiful) as a computer programmer who falls in love while engaging in some internet chatroom sex.

Her partner happens to be a client, although he doesn't know that. When he decides to break it off and not meet with her as she requests, things go the Fatal Attraction route as she starts to stalk and terrorize him.

Although the story's not new, and this is definitely a cable-rated type, inexpensive production, the movie works because Schae and Jeff Trachta, who plays her lover/victim, did a great job in the roles.

Plenty of hot, steamy scenes in the unrated version, and ample opportunity to see a soap star naked, although I must admit I expected the unrated version to be a bit more explicit. Still it's worth a watch, especially for Harrison fans. Incidentially, the movie is also known as Interlocked.

• Schae Harrison

The movie follows 3 days in the lives of a group of people in the Crystal Meth culture. From cook to pusher to speed freaks. It's an interesting movie for a couple of reasons...
1. It's filmed using sets, edits and camera tricks to give the viewer the impression of what it might be like to be totally flying on speed.
2. Even though it does show many of the bad things that can happen to people who live this lifestyle, the movie doesn't preach a "Drugs are bad, M'kay" message...which is refreshing.

Another big plus for "Spun"...Chloe Hunter is fully and frontally nude for almost the entire movie!

Click here to read reviews of "Spun" by Scoop and Tuna.

• Brittany Murphy shows cleavage and does some pole dancing. (1, 2, 3, 4)

• Charlotte Ayanna, showing some pokies.

• Chloe Hunter. Topless in links 1, 2 and 4. A little doggie style in #3. Full frontal and tied to the bed in links 5-7. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

Paradise Falls season 2, week 7
Chantal Quesnelle does her patented hottub scene.

• Chantale Quesnelle: major boobage but no nipplage.
• Danielle Hampton: cleavage tied up.

"Strange Frequency"
Collection of four episodes from the VH1 rock anthology cable series. The DVD release is mostly PG-rated fair.

• Brandy Ledford: fully clothed disco sex in "Disco Inferno"
• Christine Chatelain: nipple pokies in "Disco Inferno".
• Kendall Saunders: cleavage in "Disco Inferno".
• unknown: pokies in "Disco Inferno".
• Marla Sokoloff: tight t-shirt in "More than a Feeling"
• Keegan Connor Tracy: tight t-shirt in "My Generation".

"The Boondock Saints" (1999)
Second look at this with some interesting observations about so-called letterbox DVD versions. Jeanna Fine's scene looks like it cropped directly from the 4:3 television version leaving out most of her boobie and panty shots.

• Jeanna Fine: mega cleavage and boob. (1, 2)
• Lauren Piech: pokies (purple blouse) along with Gina Sorell.

Cleaning up my hard drive:

• Cindy Fidler: topless in "Prettykill" (1987).
• Viki Matthews: topless stripper in "The Big Town" (1987).
• Karyn Dwyer: nude love scene in "End of Summer" (1996).
• Jhene Erwin: pokies and cleavage in first season of "Liberty Street" (1994).
• Kim Poirier: boobs in the unrated "Dawn of the Dead" DVD version but it look likes she's wearing a pubic patch unless she shaved her clam.