 |
|
 |
This top section includes Scoop's site notes, images, vids, web finds, and meandering prattle. |
|
|
My Summer of Love (2004)
(see Tuna's section for additional thoughts and images)
SPOILERS: There is nothing here
which explicitly reveals the details of any plot points, but if you
read this before watching the movie you will be able to anticipate
certain plot developments long before the author intends for that to
happen. This film is kind of an interesting illustration of
the gap between the kind of films loved by film
"insiders" and the kind that people really want to see. My
Summer of Love was a complete critical success in the USA, with 90%
positive reviews, and an even more impressive 97% from the inner
circle of top-level critics, as estimated by Rotten Tomatoes. Despite
the spate of positive reviews scattered through the American
newspapers and across the internet, it was seen by no more than
125,000 people. It wasn't a very different matter in Britain. My
Summer of Love received the coveted BAFTA award as the best British
film of 2004, but it could
manage to gross no more than half a million pounds. Between the two
nations, the film never
played in as many as 100 theaters at the same time.
The reason I find this disparity interesting is that My
Summer of Love does not fall within any of the categories of film you
would imagine having read the paragraph above.
It is not some kind of arty, aloof, or surrealistic
film like Last Year at Marienbad or Eyes Wide Shut, the kind of film
that critics love to extol as an example of how they possess insights
not available to the rest of us. Of course, every specialty profession
requires something to distinguish it from the laity, or the profession
would not exist at all. Priests have their secret incantations, the
ability to consecrate bread and wine, and the ability to forgive at
confession. Heart surgeons have their skillful fingers and their
knowledge of anatomy. Engineers have the mathematical and scientific
knowledge that enables them to build a bridge from Italy to Sicily
when the rest of us could not even begin to imagine how such a thing
might be done. Movie critics - well, they ain't got jack. I won't
trust you to operate on my heart, and I won't drive on a bridge you
build, but if I am allowed to ask you a couple of questions about a movie you
saw, I will trust your judgment as much as Roger Ebert's. Given that fact,
critics try to justify their positions with some body of "expertise"
that enables them to see values which are not apparent to the rest of
us.
Unfortunately, that expertise is illusory, and they rarely seem to realize that these opinions place
them in the position of the Naked Emperor, and not the High Priest.
Pretty much anyone with common sense can see that critics are just
bullshitting when they praise these arty films, and such opinions are
dismissed off-hand. But My Summer of Love is not in this category.
Nor is it a leftist political diatribe, of the type
that critics love because of the point of view, but audiences don't
care about because they don't go to movies to hear somebody's point of
view, right or left. When you get right down to it, moviegoers don't really mind if you're going to
insert your viewpoint into a film - as long as you make it
entertaining or moving or funny.
So what kind of movie is this? An
intimate personal story.
A young working class girl in a small Yorkshire town feels
the ennui setting into her life. School's out for summer and the best
entertainment available is "riding" her scooter around the environs -
a task made considerably less exciting by the fact that it has no
motor, so it's only fun on the downhill stretches. She has no friends.
She lives above a pub. Her parents are gone. Her brother is an ex-con
turned religious zealot. The hours drag. Then her life
suddenly fills with an exciting new friendship. An urbane rich girl
from a nearby estate is home from boarding school, and her own boredom
leads her into a bond with the other girl. That bond eventually leads
beyond friendship and into hot girl-on-girl action. They two of them
seem to be so much in love that they are planning to run away
together, and then ... You'll have to watch the movie
to get the rest, but I guess I can tell you that the movie's title is
a complete spoiler. It is called MY Summer of Love, not OUR Summer of
Love, and the obvious limitation imposed by the word "summer" means
that autumn just ain't gonna work out so well. You'll see. Besides,
first love always hurts, doesn't it? One of the more
interesting undercurrents in the film is the lingering residue of
feudalism in Europe. There was a time when the vassals of the
continent were actually the property of the rich, and would be used
for their amusement. It would certainly not have been uncommon in
those days for a young aristocrat to romance any number of pretty serf
girls, perhaps even stringing them along with promises of a better
life. Even after feudalism disintegrated, European society was still
contaminated with a virus of aristocrats who felt that peasants
existed solely for the comfort and amusement of their betters. (Read
about the Marquis de Sade to experience an extremely radical strain of
this virus.) Part of the premise of this film is that the latter-day
aristocracy has not changed as much as we would like to believe.
This script has some subtly-developed
characterization, and even a few interesting plot twists here and
there. I was impressed with the cinematography, which bathes summer in
a soft amber glow, then strips away the soft make-up and photographs
people and places in the harsh tones of reality when autumn arrives.
It's easy to see why critics were impressed by My Summer of Love, and
this is the sort of movie that many people would enjoy if they
happened to catch it at a friend's house or watched it on cable in an
intimate group or alone. Unfortunately, it is not the kind of film
that many people will go out of their way to see, and it it not the
kind of film you should watch with a raucous group or as a backdrop to
some other activity, because it requires you to get deep inside of the
girls' lives. I'm in the same boat that most of you
would be in. I'd never get off my duff to watch this kind of movie
unless I had no choice, but once inside of it, and focused on it, I
liked it. That is the nature of the industry, and a reflection of the
inherently small market for this kind of quiet, understated story.
|
|
|
 |
|
My Summer of Love (2004)
My Summer of Love (2004) takes place in Yorkshire, and is the story of a 16
year old girl, Nathalie Press, who lives with her ex con brother in the pub they
inherited. He found Jesus while in the joint, and is now converting the pub into
a house of prayer. Nathalie is not amused, but life gets better when she meets
rich and spoiled Emily Blunt, home on school holiday. The two become
inseparable, then intimate, and plan on taking off together. Unfortunately,
Emily is not all she seems.
IMDb readers have this at 7.2 of 10. It won a BAFTA, and a host of other
awards and nominations. You could call it a coming of age character driven
drama, but that doesn't entirely do it justice. It also holds several surprises
at the end. Both Press and Blunt are charming, making it an enjoyable 86
minutes. Berardinelli and Ebert agree at 3 stars, and I will give it a B-. Even
if this is not your sort of film, you might find yourself enjoying this one.
| Nathalie Press |
 
|
| Emily Blunt |
   |
Four Friends (1981):
The Witches of Breastwick (2005) is a Jim Wynorsky direct to vid. It was
summed up very well by Glori-Anne Gilbert in the commentary, "See, there's
witches and breasts. That is what this is about." The most important criteria
for this film was to have between two and six naked breasts on the screen as
often as possible. Wynorsky said he was told to have nudity at least every five
minutes. Obviously, you don't watch this for the story.
Matt Dailpaz is having a recurring nightmare where three witches (Glori-Anne
Gilbert, Julie K. Smith and Stormy Daniels try to do him in. After he describes
it to his shrink, and sets of with wife Monique Parent to find the place and the
witches, hopefully ending the nightmare, the shrink's receptionist, Jodie Moore,
does a conference table strip for him. He has sex with parent in the woods, they meet the witches, everyone has sex with everyone, then Taimie Hannum shows up,
has sex with him, and warns him that he is in danger.
I have labeled frames with a breast count of 4 or more as "group." Some of
these are among the nicest of the images, as they need to get back aways to get
more than two breasts that size in the same frame, this giving better depth of
field and sharper focus. There is simulated sex, both guy/girl and
girl/girl/girl in beds, bathtubs, hot tubs, and outdoors.
Everyone does full frontal at least once. There are not yet enough votes for
this Seduction Cinema offering. If after-market body parts do it for you, that
is exactly what this delivers. I though Parent looked especially good, with her
read heir both above and below. Next to the others, she was tiny chested. By now
you know whether or not you will be watching this one. The genre is robo-tittie
flick, and this has more pounds of artificial tittie per frame than any other
film I have seen, making it a C+.
| Glori-Anne Gilbert |
|
| Jodie Moore |
|
| Julie K. Smith |
|
| Monique Parent |
|
| Stormy Daniels |
|
| Taimie Hannum |
|
| Group |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
Dann reports on Sex and the Teenage Mind (2002)
Teen comedies dealing with coming-of-age, teenage angst in love, etc.,
have been around for decades, and some, like Porkys and American
Pie, are classics. Unfortunately, Sex and the Teenage Mind is
not a classic, but instead a lame, silly, mostly unfunny rip-off of it's
predecessors. The women look fine, but the script simply doesn't produce.
A nerd longs for the school beauty, girlfriend of the football hero.
When the nerd defends the beauty against an evil teacher, he gets his
chance.
Yeah, that's it. There's no more. It's plain dumb. Even worse, for some
reason, though the movie is rated R which normally means topless nudity is
OK, the nudity was stripped from the American version and included only in
the European version. Fortunately, they DID include it in the deleted
scenes of the American DVD. Once again, political correctness runs amuck. |
 |
 |
 |
| Alison Lange |
Jodi Fleischer and Danica McKellar |
Jaime Hagan |
|
| LC is back from another of his trips to the
future! |
| Here's Lindsey Duncan in out first look at Episode 9 of
Rome |
 |
| Then, Cyn Dulay in a new lesbian vampire flick, Night
Fangs |
 |
| Leslie Frank, also from Night Fangs |
 |
| Lucy Clarkson caught in a very embarrassing pose by the
paparazzi |
 |
|
|
 |
|
Now here's a "headline of the day" to make us all rejoice:
Jessica Alba Likes Porn
One new clip from Walk the Line
- Joaquin Phoenix sings Ring of Fire
First Photos From 'Young Hannibal: Behind the Mask' , the boyhood
story of a cannibalistic homicidal maniac and his dog, who later became his
lunch.
THIRTEEN new film clips from "Harry Potter and whatever he's dealing with
this time."
homemade-sex-toys.com presents their Halloween special: Pumpkin Sex Toys
Dutch Wiccans Get a Tax Break to Study Witchcraft. The only
legislator to oppose the tax break for witches was Joop van Gogh. When
approached for a comment, his entire reply was "ribbit."
For the serious drunkard on your Christmas list:
Cellphone with built-in breath analyzer
BARBARA BUSH SAYS "THINGS ARE WORKING WELL" FOR SON
Holy Shit! Is Mel Gibson getting weird(er), or what?
Connecticut Wants to Ban Beer With Elf Label
- " ... his company had no such problems when it sold Bad Elf and Very
Bad Elf in previous years. It sells the beer in 30 other states and none
have complained. 'We even had a beer called Santa's Butt last year. They
didn't notice Santa's Butt, but they notice this one. How can you miss
that big red thing? Minors are not going to be looking to buy beer because
Santa Claus is on the label."
- Attorney General Richard Blumenthal said, "The state has wide
discretion to regulate the sales of alcohol." And he plans to abuse that
discretion whenever possible!
As Tom Lehrer pointed out when he retired, we now live in a post-ironic
world in which it is not possible to distinguish the satire from the real
news. This one is "real," from the N.Y. Daily News.
Vincent Gallo's sperm is for sale on eBay.com for a starting bid of $1
million
- What proof do you have that it's really his sperm? Well, you know his
slogan, "Gallo will serve no jizz, unless it's his"
- "The seller, who claims to speak for Gallo, is looking for a blond,
Jewish woman to bear his child, because 'this connection to the Jewish
faith would guarantee his offspring a better chance at good reviews and
maybe even a prize at the Sundance Film Festival or an Oscar.'"
-
Here
is the e-Bay listing.
- I still think it's bullshit, but Gallo is a weird dude, so ... maybe
...
NOTE AFTER THE FACT: eBay pulled the auction, so either it was bullshit or
they find it inappropriate content. (They do not specify.)
"Bin Laden Captured After Foolishly Deciding To Attend Halloween Dance In
Nebraska"
Study Reveals People Not Paying Enough Attention to Studies
- 40.3% said they "completely ignored" any scientific discoveries that
are not related to the upcoming Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes wedding.
DiCaprio Delights in musical comedy remake: "Crime and Punishment: The
Little Raskol"
- The action of the drama is moved from dreary St. Petersburg to sunny
Santa Barbara. Raskolnikov is still a poor and disturbed student, but now
a college sophomore at the University of California grappling with the
moral conundrum of whether to pledge a fraternity filled with the braying
and vapid illiterati whose company he scorns, or to descend into the
yawning abyss of moral degradation that awaits him in a dingy off-campus
studio apartment (he chooses the latter).
- The psychic torture of Raskolnikov's dilemma – whether it is morally
justifiable to take the life of a pawnbroker to save, as he sees it, the
life of his sister – is brilliantly brought to life by DiCaprio in the
tap-dance number "Death Ain't No Slouch for a Christian", in which he
attempts to justify the killing by the twin beliefs that his sister's life
will be better, and that the pawnbroker will go to heaven.
Lennon's White Suit from "Abbey Road" Sells for $118K . No mention
of whether it came with two pairs of pants.
JURY FOUND DEAD AFTER TOUR OF VITELLO'S WITH BLAKE
- "The jury in the wrongful-death civil suit against Robert Blake was
found murdered outside Vitello's Restaurant in Studio City, California
after taking a trip to the restaurant with the actor."
- "After finishing the reenactment, Blake walked out with the jurors but
the realized he had forgotten his gun inside Vitello’s. When he came back
outside, he called police to say he found every single juror dead inside
their bus."
STAR WARS DVD TO FEATURE ALTERNATE "GOOD DIALOGUE" TRACK ...
"Lucas responds to fan demands of non vomit-inducing dialogue for final DVD"
- However, Kasdan declined an assignment to do a “good dialogue” track
for “Episode 2: Attack of the Clones.” According to his agent, Kasdan
believes that that “watching the romantic scenes at the end of that movie
enough times to rewrite them could be severely hazardous for my mental
health.”
Man, I'm going to have to start labeling these "spoof" and "real." This
one sounds like a spoof, but it's the real deal.
"Madonna says she is not interested in acting in any more movies, but she
does want to direct"
Now that's a bad day:
Favre is picked off five times, and is stripped of the ball by a fan.
And on the last two plays, trying for a tie, he was sacked and threw an
illegal pass after a bizarre call. Ouch. His worst day since the premiere of
There's Something About Mary.
"under-accomplished celebrity brothers" (pretty funny, although
sometimes unjustly cruel)
The Walter Mitty movie is back off again. Owen Wilson has dropped
out of the project.
Brewster Jennings Protects America: The Google Map Hunt Game
(Plays like Carmen Sandiego)
For Sale: Britain's underground city.
- Here's your chance. So far the only other bidder is Dick Cheney.
- They don't exactly know what to do with it. My suggestion: name it
Parts Unknown, and make it a haven for masked wrestlers.
- Kidding aside, this is a fascinating article.
Willie Nelson presents the next governor of the great state of Texas: Kinky
Friedman. |
|
 |
|
PUSHING KIDS TO ACHIEVE BACKFIRES
Pardon My French - London University found that parents who push their children
into classes as soon as they can walk may be stunting their development. These
parents are victims of "middle-class angst" who fear a toddler who can't speak
French and play tennis won't get into the best pre-schools. But ironically,
teachers say pushing kids into regimented activities damages their creativity
and independence, the qualities they look for; and they're more likely to rebel
later in life. But kids who are left alone to make mud pies develop imagination
and social skills.
* The solution is clear: you must get your child into the
very best mud pie-making class!
* So if you want your child to get ahead in life, it's better if he has no
class.
* Someday, your kid will start screaming at you, but at least, he'll do it in
French.
STATE SEEKS TO BAN BAD ELF BEER
Endorsed By Billy Bob Thornton - Connecticut Liquor Control officials are trying
to ban importation of a British holiday brew called "Bad Elf Beer." The label
shows a nasty-looking elf shooting ornaments at Santa's sleigh with a
slingshot. Officials say the images might appeal to children, and the
regulations specifically bar any mention of Santa on liquor products. The
distributor claims it's sold in 30 other states, and they've never had any
complaints before about Bad Elf Beer or Very Bad Elf Beer.
* "Very Bad Elf Beer" isn't even beer...It's just a
bottle of elf urine.
* Why would it entice kids? The label plainly says, "BAAAAAAD Elf!"
* On Christmas Eve, if you leave out a bottle of Bad Elf Beer and some hash
brownies instead of milk and cookies, you'll be visited by a mall Santa.
HAUNTED HOUSES FADING AWAY
At Least There's No Light Bill - As many Halloween haunted house attractions
as there are, there are fewer than 10 years ago, and they may be dying out.
Urban renewal is reducing the number of cheap empty buildings for rent, safety
laws and insurance are eating up the profits, and cutting-edge special effects
technology is getting too expensive. Haunted house designer Leonard Pickel
told the Houston Chronicle that a lot of people in the business are artist-types
who don't understand that "scaring people is easy. Making money scaring people
is a lot harder."
* No, it isn't...All it takes is pointing a gun at them.
* The trick is to scare the pants off them, then steal their wallets.
* You can scare an artist just by telling him what his insurance premium is.
* All haunted houses will eventually be seized by the IRS and staffed by tax
auditors, who know how to make money scaring people.
PUMPKINS ON VIAGRA
The Not-So-Great Pumpkin Contest - The annual pumpkin-growing contest in New
Forest, England, has been rocked by doping allegations. Last year, Ian Paton
won with a UK-record 819-pound pumpkin. Rival growers complained that he grew
it in a greenhouse instead of a garden and implied that he boosted its virility
with chemicals, possibly Viagra. After a lot of back-and-forth accusations, a
meeting was called to discuss new rules, but nobody showed up. The
pumpkin-growing contest has now been canceled.
* Apparently, you're only allowed to grow pumpkins in really sincere pumpkin
patches.
* Pumpkins can take Viagra? No wonder the Great Pumpkin is always too busy to
show up!
* That pumpkin broke the old British record for scariest hollow gourd, set by
Prince Charles.
MANY AMERICANS BELIEVE IN GHOSTS
They MUST Be Real! - A CBS News poll found that 48 percent of Americans believe
in ghosts, while only 45 percent don't. Women are more likely to believe in
ghosts, by 56 to 38 percent, and 22 percent of Americans claim they've actually
seen a ghost.
* They tend to show up on Election Day, just to vote.
* It was a creepy, solid-white entity with a high, wailing voice...But it just
turned out to be Michael Jackson.
* They also thought they'd seen the walking dead, but that turned out to be
Keith Richards.
SECRETS OF REALITY SHOWS REVEALED (CAREFUL! NOTE SUBJECT!)
They Have WRITERS?! - Writers and editors of reality shows such as "The
Bachelor" and "Trading Spouses" have filed two class action suits over their
"sweatshop conditions," and they expose some unreal secrets. They claim they
often create "Franken-bites," editing together snippets of dialogue to
make people say things they didn't really say. Participants are plied with
booze to make
them act outrageous, they edit in reaction shots filmed months before, and they
once even dubbed slurping sounds onto video of a couple kissing to make it seem
they were having oral sex.
* And that was on "Trading Spouses."
* The slurping sounds were edited out of "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy."
* On reality shows, even reality gets an Extreme Makeover.
* This explains why editors have to work 18-hour days to create "reality."
* And the people on "The Biggest Loser" are all fashion models wearing fat
suits.
BRITNEY LAUGHS AT KEVIN'S SINGING AMBITIONS
Just A Gigolo - In Touch magazine claims that a "close friend" of Kevin
Federline's said his wife Britney Spears poured cold water on Kevin's hopes of
becoming a pop star. The source claims Kevin brought home his first recordings,
and Britney greeted them with "hurtful laughter" and told him his debut CD might
sell a hundred or maybe a thousand copies if he was lucky. She advised him to
find another career, and "Kevin looked really hurt."
* Well, how would you feel if you'd been told you
couldn't sing by Britney Spears?
* If he's that bad, he might have to accept reality and hire Britney's
producer.
* That's not fair: if all his illegitimate kids bought one CD each, he'd sell
over a thousand copies.
* She'd tell him not to quit his day job, but he'd have to get one first.
DEPARDIEU CALLS IT QUITS
Symbol Of France Surrenders - Le Parisien reports that after 170 movies,
unlikely French sex symbol Gerard Depardieu, 57, announced that his next film
will be his last, saying, "I have nothing left to prove. I'm not going to hang
on like an imbecile...I'm leaving it behind, and I'm not even drunk, for once."
* He didn't realize he'd made 170 movies, since he can only remember about ten
of them.
* It's time to retire: he's about to lose his looks.
* He's not hanging on like an imbecile...He's quitting like an imbecile.
|
|
|
 |
|
Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
|
|
|
 |
|
