Monday

Tuna
"Malibu Express"

Malibu Express (1985) As promised last night, here are the rest of the women. As a reminder, this was Andy Sidaris' first film with his own production company. Last night's images covered the following:

Sybil Danning - breasts
Suzanne Regard - breasts
Barbara Edwards - breasts, buns, and the only bush in the film. She is the dark haired of the two
Kimberly McArthur - breasts and buns. The blonde with Edwards.
Shanna McCullough - breasts
Robin Hilton - Part of nipple and cleavage
Alex Hinton - breasts. She was the wife of the lead, Darby Hinton, and was given a cameo.

Darby Hinton is a private eye with money and brains, that can't hit anything he shoots at. He is asked to investigate a ring exported illegal computer technology to the Soviet Union. He spends most of his time fighting off half naked women, which is not an entirely bad thing as far as I am concerned. For additional comedy relief, they have a family of three hillbillies constantly trying to drag race with him because of some old vendetta.

Sidaris nearly had the formula right in this film for a nudie film. A little bit better pace, and it would have been a pretty good detective spoof. I think it is probably his best for exposure. Tonight's images include:

Lynda Weismeier - Breasts
Shelly Taylor Morgan - Breasts and buns
Lorainne Michaels - Breasts
Lori Sutton - Breasts, buns, and a possible rear gynocam view.

IMDB readers have this at 4.0 of 10, making it one of the higher rated Sidaris films. People shouldn't watch these for the story. They are intended to showcase naked women, many of them centerfolds, with enough story to keep you awake, and this one does that. IF the genre is titty flicks, this is a C.

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  • Lori Sutton (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)
  • Lorraine Michaels (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
  • Lynda Wiesmeier (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)
  • Shelly Taylor Morgan (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

    "American Flyers"

    American Flyers (1985) is a John Badham film staring Kevin Costner as a sports physician who persuades his brother to team with him in a race across the Rocky's called The Hell of the West. Their father died of Barry's Aneurysm, which is a hereditary weakness in the middle brain that is not treatable, and always fatal. He brings his brother to his sports clinic, and does a Cat Scan. The results are good news, the brother is fine, but Costner has already been diagnosed with the problem. He wants to race this last time with his brother. The brother overhears a conversation after his test, and interprets it to mean that he is the one who is dying.

    Along the way to the race, Costner, his girlfriend Rae Dawn Chong, and brother David Grant end up acquiring a hitch hiker, Alexandra Paul, who becomes Grant's love interest. Although this is basically an overly-sentimental dying man film, there are good moments among the leads, and the actual race footage and the Colorado scenery are a real plus. And best of all, Alexandra Paul show sher breasts. First, we see her swap t-shits with Grant in a dark outdoor scene, then again having sex with him. While the sex scene is cut such that it could have been a double, my guess is no, as she shows nothing that she doesn't also show in the earlier scene.

    IMDB readers have this at 6.3 of 10, and Ebert says 2 1/2 stars. Apollo scores it 71, with readers placing it at 81%. I kind of enjoy this film, despite the tear jerker aspect, because of the relationship between Costner and Grant, and the racing footage. C.

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  • Alexandra Paul (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

    • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
    MOVIES:

    I guess I've made the point before that if a film is just slightly incompetent and loopy, it's just an irritation. But when a film is so completely insane that it becomes comedy - well, that's a bird of a different feather.  The French auteur Jean Rollin, who is unquestionably the Steven Spielberg of lesbian vampires, seems to have made a film making fun of his earlier films. Clearly, some of the things in the script were meant by the director to be laughed at. With Rollin, it's not easy to tell where his humor ends and his incompetence begins, because he's also funny when he tries to be serious. I don't think his intentions really matter, because this film is so completely daft that you can't help but have a good time. Two words: evil dwarf. And not just any evil dwarf, but one who wears a fool's cap and has a vampire girlfriend. If I still smoked some weed, I would seriously consider popping this in the DVD player.

    In addition to the clear insanity in his scripts, Rollin is actually completely competent when it comes to creating imaginative visuals, so the combination works fairly well. Read my info page for more details. I went on at great length.

     

    MAILBOX:

    (scoop's replies in yellow)

    Scoop: Salma unleashes her maracas several times in the first half of "Frida", but usually either while moving quickly, or while the camera is panning, so her face is not in the same frame.  However, there is a scene about halfway through where Frida goes to Paris and has a lesbian sex romp with Josephine Baker, and both actresses are full frontal and in bright light.  Over the next few years, you will become intimately familiar with this scene from people sending captures to you until you know it frame-by-frame, like Sharon Stone crossing her legs in "Basic Instinct."

    Scoopies: The caps of Roseanna Arquette Saturday reminded me of something - which actress has shown the longest tongue on screen? Two candidates come to mind: the aforementioned Arquette in "Nowhere to Run", and Rebecca DeMornay in "Never Talk to Strangers". Any others come to mind?

    I have a cap of that wedding dress, Meredith Veira topless, which I enclosed. It really doesn't show too much. I found it on some web site a while back.

    OTHER CRAP:

     

     

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Brainscan
    'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

    Kimberlee Castaic plays a photographer who boffs the owner of the model agency in Model Solution. Serious robohooters (collages 2, 3 & 5-9), gynocam in 1 and 4, and a fleeting bum shot in 6. As in all other couplings documented by this movie there is an admirable parity to the implied oral pleasure activities. She gets some, he gets some. Ain't that sweet.

    A word on the gynocam shots. When the first part of the sport-humpin scene popped onto the screen (collage 1) I thought it was a major screwup by the editor because I figured the male principal was supposed to hide the goodies in Kimberlee's major leg spread. But then along came the activity in collage 4 and that pretty well sealed it. Director, cameraman, editor and presumably Kimberlee all bought into showing the labia.

    And a word on Kimberlee's emotive style. Seems that to show true passion she opens her mouth as wide as humanly possible and makes like a large-mouthed bass just pulled out of the lake. That's more than okay I suppose if you're the one she's boffing, but if all you're doing is watching it gets funny... hilarious even. Laughed my ass off as the scene went along. Not what the makers of this opus had in mind. But then I'm only guessing.

    • Kimberlee Castaic (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

    Mr. Grundy
    'Caps and comments by Mr. Grundy:

    Here are my latest efforts:

    • UTA LEVKA from Radley Metzger's "Carmen, Baby" (1967)... in addition to peeks from two other films.

    • CAPUCINE from Sergio Corbucci's "The Con Artists" (1976)... unfortunately, not a nudie. However, the last time I checked over a month ago, I was surprised there was barely anything in the archives, featuring this most striking-looking French actress. (The first time I took note of her was in a later "Pink Panther" film, and I remember going, 'whoa!'.)

    • LISA BOYLE from Brad Jacques' "Leaving Scars" (1997); I checked well over a month ago for the presence of this one, and there wasn't any sign. Maybe that situation has changed.

    • SHANA BETZ, in 1998's shot-on-video debacle, THE STRANGERS, co-directed by the fearsome brothers, Sergei and Yuri Ivanov; you've got to give them credit for aptly naming their production company, "Rotten Pictures." (Hmmmmmm.... reading the first line of my effort, I see the word "aggressive" needed proofreading. You know, you've got to be more selective with your contributors, and make sure they're not so illiterate.)

    • VICTORIA HUNTER (who?) from the aforementioned THE STRANGERS (1998).

    Mr. Grundy invites you to visit him at Sick Sexy Sinema Shots

    Spaz
    'Caps and comments by Spaz:

    "Sabrina, the Teenage Witch" (1996) is the tv-movie/pilot-episode followed by the tv series of the same name. The movie is PG-rated so gratuitous bikini scenes are acceptable.


    BONUS: Scoopsters may have already seen Laura Harris and Michelle Beaudoin nekkid and Melissa's Maxim spread but Lalainia Lindbjerg is a voice actress who primarily does cartoons and the odd bit part. Her only significant R-rated role is an under-the-sheets love scene in an episode of "Dead Man's Gun" where she's covered by enough bed sheets to wrap an Egyptian mummy.


    Other goodies...

    • Helen McCrory does a "bum in the air" bottoms-up scene in sexy black teddy for photo shoot in the UK tv movie "Streetlife" (1995).

    • Moriah Shannon shows her newly installed robo-hooters (and later her butt and bush as well) in the Mr. T vehicle "D.C. Cab" (1983).

    • Sammi Davis in bathtub scene in episode "You make me want to wear dresses" of Zalman King's "Red Shoe Diaries". Only distant nudity by Sammi.

    Variety
    Halle Berry
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    		Excellent 'caps by Helvete of Halle gettin' it on in her Oscar winning performance from "Monster's Ball".

    Monica Bellucci The Italian mega-babe shows off some wonderful breast exposure and a little bit of bum. There are also a couple of unknowns showing some breasts and a little bush. Another great collage by Dann.

    Mathilda May The French actress is nude (and looks spectacular) almost every minute she's on screen in scenes from the sci-fi movie "Lifeforce" (1985). Great topless and full frontal 'caps by Finn.

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    Assorted Fashion babes
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)


    		Antoher collection of fashion babes including Natalia Vodianova, Jessica Miller, Eugenia Volodina and Filippa Palmstierna by the Master of Fashion scans, Blackshine.


    Teresa Simon
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

    		Toplessness and bare bum views while gettin' it on in a lesbo love scene, as well as with some dude wearing a ski mask. Vidcaps by Mr. Skin from something called "Meat Market".