Spider-Man (2002) deluxe set arrived today, and, since I had not seen it, but had heard that Kirsten Dunst had a wet sweater scene with pokies. Although I can see what all the fuss was about, and the pokies were every bit as good as advertised, this is not really my kind of film. The special collectors edition contains a entire disk of special features, a comic book, a limited edition print, and more. The effects, both make-up and digital are top notch, and the photography is outstanding, with brilliant colors, adding to the comic book feel.

I'm sure you all know the story, where we learn about the origins of Spider-Man, and how he came to become a super hero. It is currently #227 at MDB with a score of 7.8 of 10, and dominated the box office, earning $404M against a budget of $139M. Ebert was unimpressed at 2 1/2 stars. Most critics were kind, with 88% at Rotten Tomatoes, and 85% from the top critics. I agree that it is a fine genre picture, very well executed, but it is in a genre that I am not that fond of. Nevertheless, the proper score is B.

• Erinn Barlett. She seems to specialize in minor nudity. In addition to her brief topless scene in Pumpkin, she showed the goods briefly in 100 Women, director Michael Davis's follow-up to 100 Girls, and she came close in that cinema masterpiece, The In Crowd.
• Christina Ricci, No nudity, but it seems to have been cold on the set. (1, 2, 3)

OTHER CRAP:

• Republicans take control of the Senate, including a victory for John Sununu - hey, at least we won't be surprised when he uses government resources to enlarge his stamp collection. The more obvious crook, Traficant, lost but got more than 10% of the votes. Bush's brother also held on to Florida's governorship.
• Mysterious sinkhole appears in Houston street
• J-Lo and Affleck are engaged. Whoop de fuckin do,
• Speaking of J-Lo's love life, P Diddy does a concert in Denmark, yells "Hello, Belgium" at the crowd
• Maxim's spread on Leslie Bega, who plays Valentina on The Sopranos
• This is not a joke, but a legitimate UPI news story. Absentee and overseas ballots have come in and Saddam Hussein ended up with 101% of the votes! How can Bush not love this guy?
• I didn't make this up either. Actual headline - Big Stink Over Clooney's Butt
• We have discussed this before, but here is the hard evidence to show that Bush was not holding that kiddie book upside down
• RJ wins his fourth consecutive Cy Young - He has won it every single year that he has been with the Diamondbacks. He was chosen unanimously. Johnson sealed the award by going 5-0 with an 0.66 ERA in September. Looking at Randy's career, it is not unreasonable to argue that he is the best pitcher of all time. Maybe I'll make that case another day.

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

A mixture of things today.

First is nude model Kimberly Fisher (as Kimberly Kay) in Model Solution in which she plays a nude model. Quite well, I might add. All three collages are show full frontal; the woman in back of her in the first collage is Katie Lohmann.

• Kimberly Kay (1, 2, 3)

Blood Link (1983) is a mess of movie that can be summed up in two sentences. Good news: it stars a host of serious actors who went on to do lots and lots of really, really good stuff. Really. Bad news: it is an evil twin movie. Not just twins, who must always be identical because it would be stupid if they weren't, but conjoined (Siamese) twins separated at birth. Yes, you read that correctly. Because they were joined at the waist, one has a scar on his right side, the other on his left and that gets kinda important after a while.

Best news of all is that the evil twin is determined to bed every woman the good twin has boffed. They include the very pretty Sarah Langenfeld, the interesting and nicely built Penelope Milford and Hefmate of the Month for July '73, Martha Smith.

Sarah shows boobs in all three collages, the side of her in the third.

• Sarah Langenfeld (1, 2, 3)

Penelope was in three scenes and showed (how to put this?) a nice rack in all three.

• Penelope Milford (1, 2, 3)

Martha was in five or six scenes, depending on how you count these things (do flashbacks count as two or only one?). Breasts in all, including two scenes in which he basically sits topless on the bed for a minute or so.

• Martha Smith (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

There was a fourth exposed babe in the movie. Yael Forti showed breasts in a scene that was distorted by stupid camera tricks to show that the principal involved was seeing these things indirectly... as it turns out, through his evil twins eyes. Sigh.

• Yael Forti

Okay then, hows about a third movie? In this allow me to agree most vigorously with Senior. After Fritz Lang no director has succeeded in making a good vampire movie. The list of stinkers is so long, with movies so bad it is only because I've seen them all that I can make the following statement: the worst vampire movie ever made is Vampire Call Girls (2000).

Hands down. No reason to even hold the election. A guy named Everette Hartsoe wrote, directed and acted in this thing... and like the Army's MREs (Meals Ready to Eat) that statement is three lies for the price of one.

This thing could not have been written, it was most certainly not directed and Mr. Hartsoe is the single worst actor to ever appear on film, or in this case, videotape. He sounds a bit like SNL's The Lady's Man but isn't funny. Not the least. I get the impression he is part of the avant garde comic book scene and he had the bright idea of getting a couple of models who pose for comic books (the richly if not naturally endowed Glori-Anne Gilbert and Roxanne Michaels... whose name is misspelled in the credits, for heaven's sake) to prance 'round nekkid while the camera was running. Great idea for many things but not for a frigging movie.

Lemme give you an idea of how bad this thing is. You know how High Noon starts, with a clock filling the camera frame, showing that it's something like 10:40 AM; and then the rest of the movie, up til high noon, lasts exactly 80 minutes? Film time and real time are the same. Well, Vampire Call Girls is kinda like that for the first scene. In it, Glori-Anne Gilbert rides a washing machine through a full wash cycle and then rolls around on the floor o' the laundry, squirting white lotion on herself (calling Dr. Freud) for the full dry cycle. Timed that puppy. Twelve and one-half minutes of nothing but Glori-Anne topless from every angle that Euclid imagined. I like Glori-Anne. She's a real cutie, 'specially if you are into buxom lasses. But this shit bored me after, I don't know, five, maybe six minutes. Less than halfway through it I'm hoping the damn scene will end soon. And guys, this is the kicker. That scene is the best one in the movie because Glori-Anne is good at what she does whereas everyone else who did anything else in this movie was not. Good that is. A scene with Roxanne Michaels and Mr. Hartsoe is the prototype, because neither appears to have rehearsed. Ever.

Worst of all, the video quality just plain sucks. Glori-Anne is in three scenes and the first is the only one I bothered to cap. Roxanne is topless for five or six minutes but the few frames I grabbed were so awful I threw them into the trash without a moment's hesitation. And a third woman who was the token full-frontal babe... hell, I didn't even try. What we have then is four collages of Glori-Anne's boobs and bum. Those are great, and because of them the collages are not half bad.

• Glori-Anne Gilbert (1, 2, 3, 4)

Today we have a "Babe in Bondage", Phyllis Davis in 1990's "Guns", an Andy Sidaris film.

Phyllis is best remembered for the TV show "Vegas" with Robert Urich and some earlier Sexplotation flicks. Here she is was a 42 year old "Babe in Peril" at the time and I guess Andy couldn't convince her to get naked, so all we get is some cleavage.

• Phyllis Davis (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

Here are caps from Sunday's episode of The Sopranos. The gal is Leslie Bega, playing a new character named Valentina La Paz. I checked your archives and you also have a single picture of a Leslie Bega, but its obviously a different gal.

• Leslie Bega (1, 2, 3)

• Thumbnail Previews
• Thumbnail Previews
• Thumbnail Previews

• Dancer, Tina Williams, fully nude with toplessness and rear nudity in #2. (1, 2)

• Singer, N'Dambi (1, 2, 3)

• Artist, Khadydja Diop, topless and rear nudity (1, 2)

• Tigui, topless and rear nudity (1, 2, 3)

• Hawa Berry, frontal nudity

• Mebrak, topless

• Tanya Parnell, full frontal nudity

• Actress, Lisa Raye, nude pose with rear views in #1, topless in #2. (1, 2)

• Jennifer Espinoza, topless

• Sukee, a hint of pubes

• Singer, N'Dea Davenport, breast exposure

• Mikeko Sakata, full frontal nudity.

• Iris, rear gyno-view

• Joy, a belly button

• Norma, full frontal nudity with gyno-exposure in #2. (1, 2)

• Charlene Roxborough, lovely full frontal nudity

• Kelly Browne, brief breast exposure

ROSIE DEFENDS MARTHA
Cancellation: It's A Good Thing - Rosie O'Donnell told TV Guide that if she still had her talk show, she'd be using it to defend Martha Stewart every day. She said she wants every housewife in America "to band together and refuse to let them tear down one of the most successful female entrepreneurs in our country's history." Rosie said if she still had a show, "I'd be singing Martha Stewart a love song every day."