Last Rites (1988) is a Mafia thriller staring Tom Berenger as a priest, son of a Mafia don, brother to both a mobster and a cop. As the film opens, the mobster is gunned down by his wife while having sex with Daphne Zuniga. The wife misses Zuniga, who ends up in Berenger's confessional. When he realizes that the ones who killed his brother are also after her, he hides her in the church, and ends up in Mexico with her, and in her bed, but not before his cop brother is also killed.

There are many more twists to the story, but I doubt that they would be any more interesting to read about than they were to watch. The whole thing plays out like several episodes of a Godfather soap. Zuniga shows breasts, buns, and public mound. The clear shot of buns in the last image could easily be a double, and she was wearing a strapless bra in the hot sex scene, the top of which is visible in the full screen version. For some unknown reason, they took care to hide her breasts through most of her nude scenes.

IMDb readers have this at 4.9 of 10. Ebert called it the worst film of the year, and awarded 0 stars. Scoopy, who loves these films, was generous with a C-. I suppose i will go along with that, but it was torture for me to watch.

Updates:

• You will find 56 updated volumes in the F and G sections of the Encyclopedia, 274 new pics. The updated volumes are indicated in yellow.

Career Girls (1997):

There was a time when a very vital strain of British filmmaking provided the rest of the world with a look into the real world of the English class struggles. It seems that this school of social realism has all but disappeared from the international scene, and that films like A Taste of Honey, Billy Liar, and The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner are reminders of a time long ago when "relevance" seemed important. I don't know if the Brits have stopped making these films. Perhaps they are still a vital part of the scene in the U.K, but I guess the rest of the world has stopped caring about them.

In fact, it doesn't even seem that Britain exports any more of those sweeping historical costume epics about the glory days of the Empire. From this vantage point, it seems that every British export now falls into one of the following two categories:

1. Light, warm hearted dramedies about eccentric outsiders who demonstrate that unconventional and unexpected behavior is often just a reflection of the wonderful diversity of the human spirit. Factory guys strip to disco music. Boys do ballet. Indian girls play football. Old ladies do naked calendars. Fat chicks pick up Hugh Grant. Gentle rurals grow marijuana.

2. Black comedies about urban gangsters, ala Sexy Beast, Snatch, or Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.

The social realism films may not show up here in Texas, but I have a feeling that there are still good British directors making these kinds of films for small and highly targeted audiences. Mike Leigh is one of them. Oh, I know you never heard of him, but he's a master at what he does. Told for American ears, his is an amazing story. While filmmaking can be a young man's game, and some directors dry up totally after they turn 50 or so, Mike has actually been doing his best work in his 50s and 60s. He started in theatrical films more than three decades ago,  disappeared into TV for nearly two decades, and finally re-emerged in films at age 45. This kind of career path is not as odd in England as it sounds to American ears. British TV can be daring, provocative, and original, and can sometimes take a lot of non-commercial risks. Good directors in the UK do not consider TV work to be banishment from the big leagues, nor do they view a TV-oriented résumé to be the equivalent of The Scarlet Letter. Mike's two decades in British TV can't be compared to two decades on Laverne and Shirley.

At any rate, Mike seems to keep getting better at what he does. In fact, although he has been around since dirt was young, his highest rated film at IMDb is one currently in theaters as I write this.

1. (8.04) - Vera Drake (2004)
2. (7.80) - Secrets & Lies (1996)
3. (7.50) - Naked (1993)
4. (7.40) - Topsy-Turvy (1999)
5. (7.29) - Life Is Sweet (1990)
6. (7.14) - Bleak Moments (1971)
7. (7.11) - High Hopes (1988)
8. (7.01) - Career Girls (1997)

Today's film, Career Girls, is a slice-of-life film about two college roommates who get back together again six years after school, after not having been in contact, and having drifted far apart after graduation. It mixes the present time with flashbacks to their school days. Since it is from the social realism school, it reveals no dramatic plot twists nor shocking secrets nor pulse-pounding action. It is essentially a two character play in which old friends talk about the present and reflect upon the past.

As you can see from the list above, it is not considered to be one of Mike's better films, but that's no condemnation. The lowest score on his résumé, 7.01,  is better than the best score for most directors. I'd say that Roger Ebert and James Berardinelli have it pegged correctly at three stars. It's not a four star film because it has too many weaknesses. It can be rambling, and the two actresses lack subtlety when they try to create the characters' younger selves in the flashbacks, but it is still an interesting and thoughtful look at the genuine friendship former by two radically mismatched people, and the ways our lives can seem to change over the years, even if that change is more apparent than genuine. It observes real characters carefully and tells the truth about them and the situations they encounter. It is not the kind of film I would choose to watch, but I could admire what Mike was trying to do, and could see that he succeeded in large part. Special credit should be given to the lighting and photography in this film, which are among the best I have ever seen. The transfer is absolutely spectacular in the Region 2 DVD (It is not available in Region 1. As I said, these films are no longer for the international market!)

One of the two stars of the film, and the sole provider of the film's nudity, is Katrin Cartlidge. You might call her the anti-Hurley, because she did just about everything possible in her short life to assure that her talent would never be seen. She chose her projects discriminately, shunned commercial ventures, and appeared in "small" award-winning films like Breaking the Waves and No Man's Land, as well as Mike Leigh's films. Although no beauty, she might have been. She was not an unattractive woman. She was tall and lanky with nice bone structure, and she might have been sculpted into what we call beautiful if she had done a little nip/tuck work, but that sort of superficial posturing wasn't for her. She kept her bad teeth and her noticeably large nose. She deliberately chose to play some unsympathetic and obnoxious characters. She spoke in her natural unrefined accent, and she didn't gad about London in the social whirl. She was genuine. She was always praised as an indefatigable worker.

And then she died.

Katrin came down with flu symptoms in September of 2002, and ignored them because ... well ... because it just seemed like a flu. It was pneumonia. By the time she got to a hospital, the complications of blood poisoning had gotten beyond the point where the doctors could save her. And just like that, a few days after she seemed young and fit, she was gone.

At age 41.

Further reading:

• Katrin Cartlidge Remembered

• Katrin Cartlidge: a Tribute

• Career Girl: a tribute to Katrin Cartlidge.

The nudity in Career Girls:

• Katrin Cartlidge topless collages (1, 2, 3)

• Just a couple of face shots which demonstrate (1) the film's meticulous craftsmanship (2) Katrin's interesting, almost beautiful face (1, 2)

Other Crap:

• From my mailbox: "Scoop, check this out ..." CBS Apologizes for Interrupting CSI; Will Rebroadcast Episode. "From now on, only Tony Danza's show will be interrupted for news bulletins."
• Cameron Diaz is back in the news again for being camera-shy. There was a time. back when she was much younger, when she got a little more comfortable for the cameras. In case you missed the famous Cameron Diaz "light bondage" tape, here is the short version with just the ... um ... good parts.
• Since Teri Hatcher is now back on top again, it's a good time to look back on her topless scenes in The Cool Surface!
• The latest Norwegian pig-fucking update.
• Colin Farrell was once arrested for murder in Australia. (Or so he says.)
• Wow. If you thought DiCaprio looked like Lenin before, wait until you see him now.
• Nader wants a recount. If just 60 million votes were tabulated incorrectly, he can start picking out oval furniture.
• Broadcasters afraid to air R-rated Saving Private Ryan on Veteran's Day for fear of FCC reprisals. Interestingly, Shaving Ryan's Privates can be shown.
• Designer tin foil hats - for the stylish and discriminating lunatic.  
• The complete works of H. P. Lovecraft online
• Doctor Discovers the 'Orgasmatron'
• Ed Helms investigates whether Floridians take the tiny bus to Stupidtown.
• The Daily Show takes note of John Ashcroft's resignation.
• Jon Stewart interviews Tom Wolfe about his newest novel, which weighs in at a mere 2lbs 14oz.
• Erotic photography by Roman Kasperski
• Lingerie Bowl 2005 - Home of the Lingerie Football League (LFL)
• "Welcome to Beirut's '1975,' a nostalgia bar that seeks to recapture the atmosphere of the Lebanese civil war."
• Whatever happened to ... Tonya Harding's gang?
• Best headline of the day goes to fark.com: "Madonna's new children's book reveals that money doesn't make you happy. Instead points out that you need a wildly over-inflated sense of self-importance, sex with Jose Canseco, and cone boobies for true happiness"
• There's some temporary spotting and a ring around Uranus.
• Norwegian crusader fights a losing battle to make pig-fucking illegal.
  • The head of the Norwegian Coast Party said there was no specific data on Norwegian bestiality, but added, "The Swedish Veterinary Institute reports that between 250-300 animals a year are treated for sexual abuse. I do not think that the extent in Norway is so very different from Sweden."
  • My God, separate a Viking from his favorite sow? Next those meddling politicians will be trying to stop Japanese octopus sex. Those meddlers are reaching their tentacles everywhere. So to speak.
• A world mourns as "Hugh Grant signals an end to his acting career."
  • OK, that does it. I'm never going to another movie.
  • Hugh Grant "quit" acting? When did he start?
  • " ... a miserable experience. It's so long and boring ... ", said Hugh. I used pretty much the same words when reviewing his Lord Byron movie "Rowing with the Wind".
  • From the "I didn't make this up" department. In his first movie, Privileged, the floppy-haired star was credited as "Hughie" Grant.
  • One more from the "I didn't make this up" department. In 1999, Hughie played Blitzen the Reindeer in a movie called "Hooves of Fire".
• The Smoking Gun has a copy of Bill Maher's Palimony Suit.
• Comedian Bill Maher Sued in LA by Ex-Girlfriend. This has now happened to every celebrity in America except Andy Rooney.
• Michael Moore hopes to have 'Fahrenheit 9/11 1/2' ready in two to three years. Just in time for the New Hampshire primary in 2008. This time he should be able to drive Dubya from office.
• Johan Santana of the Minnesota Twins was a unanimous choice for the American League Cy Young Award. Santana was 13-0 after the all-star break, and was pitcher of the month in each of those three months. Curt Schilling finished second, his usual spot.
• An Al Pacino monologue from William Shakespeare's The Merchant of Venice. Sorry, still no clips from Quentin Tarantino's version.
• The trailer for Imaginary Heroes. "Starring Sigourney Weaver, Jeff Daniels, Emile Hirsch, and Michelle Williams, 'Imaginary Heroes' is a funny and poignant coming of age story in which the facade of an ordinary American family is peeled back to reveal that nothing is as it seems. Tim Travis (Hirsch) is walking through his life like it's a bad dream. His mother Sandy (Weaver) is the master of the Travis house - with a healthy drug habit, a decade long grudge, and a secret that is literally tearing her apart. His father Ben (Daniels) is a shell of the man he once was, crippled by circumstance and blind to the mistakes of his past. But in typical American style, the Travises aren't depressed - they're living their lives in a forlorn haze. As painful revelations are made that threaten to divide the family, moments of laughter and truth provide the salve that ultimately bring them closer together."
• A new behind-the-scenes clip from the Legend of Zorro
• Watch the first ten minutes of National Treasure
• Star Wars actress Natalie Portman has been secretly attending graduate school classes at Jerusalem's Hebrew University. I'm not sure why there's a need for secrecy.
• The Daily Show's Back in Black. Lewis Black takes a look at the new senators - politicians who are solving America's #1 problem: homosexuality.
• I think we have found the perfect Christmas gift for your thirsty friends - Cockolada. "The first drink out of a cocktube"
• Whatever happened to the so-called "canals of Mars"?
• Those with an advance look at Alexander say it is unbelievably bad, but "The Rosario Dawson nude scene will make you worship her". The same gossip site also asks? ". . . What do Paris Hilton and Rudy Giuliani have in common?" I think you all know the answer to that if you've seen Rudy's sex tape.
• Here is an incredible picture of that triple eclipse on Jupiter.
• Behind-the-scenes in making 'Elektra'
• Weekly World News says: "OSAMA'S PENILE IMPLANT STUCK IN 'ON' POSITION!" No wonder he's in hiding, say intelligence sources!
• Playmate Gallery - Brande Roderick, the 2001 queenpin - Courtesy of PlayboyPlus.com!
• Four free short videos from Playboy's Beach Babes!
• The last hurdle is cleared. Given no other choice, Satan finally, reluctantly agrees to accept Arafat.
• JoBlo.com reviews the script for The Legend of Zorro
• Chauffeur sues Liza. Liza sues chauffeur. He is suing her for, among other things, forcing him to make love to her. If she really did that, it's a good thing for Liza I'm not the judge. I'd be awarding him an amount equal to the Gross National Product of Italy. And even that hardly seems adequate. What I'd like to know is this - how did this guy keep it up? He must have been mainlining Viagra or something.
• Here are the details of the Minnelli Sex/Violence Lawsuit from The Smoking Gun.
• Here's the trailer for "William Shakespeare's The Merchant of Venice", directed by Michael Radford (Il Postino, 1984, B Monkey) , stars Al Pacino, Jeremy Irons, Lynn Collins, and Joseph Fiennes.M
  • Good looking trailer!
  • I guess the title is so you don't to get it confused with the sexy Jackie Collins version of The Merchant of Venice, or the action-packed Tom Clancy version.
  • It is supposed to have some nudity in it. We can only hope that it will be provided by Lynn Collins and not Al Pacino.

Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the links above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Words from Scoop.

.avi's from Shiloh.

.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

NOTE: because of a unique combination of circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a picture. When you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.

I know this is not especially convenient, but it allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips altogether.

Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

Shiloh says:

FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.

 

When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

A reader says:

You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you or your users.

Scoop says:

I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

Words, pictures, and vids from ICMS
 

Moondance (1995)

• Brendler 1  (.wmv zipped, .avi zipped)
• Brendler 2  (.wmv zipped, .avi zipped)

True Woman (1999) - Part 2

And as promised I'll conclude with a second clip of Asian beauty Shu Qi from "True Woman".

Today from the Ghost...new vids (zipped .wmvs) from the 1984 serial killer/slasher/thriller, "Blind Date". Tuna and Scoop both noted in their reviews that the DVD extras are actually much better than the movie itself, especially the extened Kirstie Alley sex scene.

• Kirstie Alley, toplessness in the sex scene left in the original movie.
• Kirstie Alley in the extened sex scene. Slower paced but more exposure. If you have to pick just one...go with #3. (1, 2, 3)

• The late Lana Clarkson. Here she is baring her breasts in a dark and brief scene.

• "Star Trek" babe Marina Sirtis playing a hooker/victim. Excellent toplessness! (1, 2)

• Antigone Amanitis also playing one of the serial killer's victims. Link #1 features brief shower scene nudity. In link #2 she's on her back and topless in good light. (1, 2)

"A Home at the End of the World"

A man who is basically straight except for affairs with his lifelong gay friend, the gay friend, and a divorcee who desperately wants to get pregnant are the central characters in this 2004 drama by Pulitzer Prize winning author Michael Cunningham.

The film follows the two men growing up. Bobby loses first his brother, then his mother, and finally his father. He is taken in by the family of Jonathan, who is gay. The friendship grows and sexual experimentation follows. When Jonathan moves to New York in the early 80's, Bobby stays with his adopted family.

Bobby finally joins his best friend in New York, where Jonathan's roommate, Clare, who already loves Jonathan as a friend, is strongly attracted to Bobby and driven by a strong desire to have a child.

Unfortunately, this sounds a lot better than it was. There are great character studies in this movie, and terrific acting, but somehow at the end, you go away feeling unfulfilled. It keeps you interested most of the way but falls flat at the end.

• Asia Vieira

CAMERON GOES NINJA ON PAPARAZZI
Channeling Sean Penn - Cameron Diaz was reportedly so angry at paparazzi outside a Hollywood hotel that she used her martial arts training to slam a tabloid photographer to the ground and wrestle his camera away. Boyfriend Justin Timberlake blocked the view of another paparazzo trying to photograph her rampage.