Thursday

Tuna
"C B Hustlers"

C B Hustlers (1978) is a tittie flick about a mobile whore house catering to truckers. Of course, a lame sheriff and a dim-witted newspaper reporter are out to stop them. That is pretty much it for plot. We have three C B Hustlers, Janice Jordan, Catherine Barkley, and Elke Vann. I could not identify who the first two were, but Elke Vann turned out to be none other than Uschi Digart. The other two show breasts, but Uschi shows everything, and has several lines as well.

This was one of four films in a set called Dangerous Curves, and is one of those one time only releases of 4 essentially public domain films. It has also turned up in a ten film set. People license these for almost nothing, and are allowed one production run of a fixed number of copies. These releases run the gambit in terms of quality, and can be from nearly any era. The quality of this one was not good. The most notable problem was scratches in several scenes.

There are not enough votes at IMDB to matter. This is a must for Uschi fans, as it is a rare chance to see her act, and hear her cute accent. The 70s CB lingo will seem quaint to some, but the plot just isn't there, and there are long periods of dead time where someone stares at the horizon. This is a low C-, and that is giving lots of extra credit for letting Uschi speak.

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  • Unknown #1 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
  • Unknown #2 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31)
  • Uschi Digard (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25)

    • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Updates

    Updated volumes (13): Julie Strain, Charlie Spradling, Emmanuelle Seigner, Mia Sara, Eva Santolaria, Dominique Sanda, Hannah Schygulla, Victoria Silvstedt, Seka, Julie Smith, Cheryl Rainbeaux Smith, Elisabeth Shue, Renee Soutendijk

     

    Little Odessa (1994)

    Little Odessa is a bleak, unsparing look at a merciless hit man and the dysfunctional family that spawned him.

    The hit man (Tim Roth) has always avoided taking any work in Brooklyn because he grew up there, and his mandatory professional anonymity is lost on that turf. Perhaps that's not the only reason why he has stayed away from his home borough. Although repelled by his ethnic Russian-Jewish background, he is also attracted to it. He has an adoring younger brother who seems like a good kid, along with an abusive and bitter father, a mother dying of cancer, and some dangling threads from a former love affair.

    He is forced to take a contract in Brooklyn and is gradually drawn back to his childhood home, but when he revives his relationship with his loved ones, his ability to function as a hit man is radically impaired. He becomes vulnerable because he can't keep the detachment necessary for his profession.

    In a sentence, it plays out like Ingmar Bergman's concept of an urban crime drama. The cold, depressing tone of the film is accentuated by some somber classical and religious music, as well as some stark photography of Brooklyn's Brighton Beach in the wintertime, which looks like a ghost town - empty, dilapidated, covered with snow.

    The film was considered a spectacular debut for director James Gray, but in the decade since this film, he has directed only one more project, and that a disappointing financial fiasco called The Yards.

    • Moira Kelly (1, 2, 3, 4)

     

     

    OTHER CRAP:

    Other crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap

     

     

     

    MOVIE REVIEWS:

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Graphic Response
    • Amanda Ooms, frontal and rear views in scenes from the Swedish film "Så vit som en snö" aka "As White as in Snow".

    • Vivian Wu, showing all 3 B's in scenes from "The Pillow Book" (1996).

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

    DeadLamb
    DeadLamb takes a look at the movie "Slackers" (2002). Some call it one of the worst movies ever, some call it comic genius. It's rude and offbeat, so naturally found it entertaining. I even thought some of the more twisted were very funny. Obviously this isn't for everyone, so watch at your own risk.

    As for the 'caps...no nudity, but plenty of lingerie and cleavage.

    • Cameron Diaz...why she did this cameo is anyone's guess.
    • Jaime King (1, 2)
    • Laura Prepon (1, 2, 3)

    Vejiita
    Vejiita pays tribute to everyone's favorite B-movie babe, Kari Wuhrer. Here are collages featuring her nekkid and gettin' it on in scenes from two movies.
    • Kari showing off her robo-hooters, plus a nice partial rear view in scenes from "Beyond Desire" (1996) (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    • Kari topless again, this time from "Sex and the Other Man" (1996) (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Variety
    Justine Bateman A great collage by ZonononZor of her toplessness from the Showtime series "Out of Order".

    Kendra Torgan Topless in scenes from the UK movie "Killing Time" (1998).

    Eva Green
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

    		Thanks to C2000 for the scoop...
    Here is the French actress topless, full frontal and showing a gyno-view in scenes from Bernardo Bertolucci's new film "The Dreamers". This movie will probably be heavily edited for US audiences, so check out the goods while you can. Credit to LC for the 'caps.

    Diaz, Liu and Barrymore
    (1, 2)

    Cameron Diaz
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    Drew Barrymore
    (1, 2)

    Lucy Liu


    		Mr. Nude Celeb takes a look at the sequel that never needed to be made..."Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle". The images with all 3 Angels is the pseudo-nude scene.


    Biljana Filipovic
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    		Señor Skin 'caps of the blonde beauty topless in scenes from "100 Girls" (2000).

    Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    PARTY GIRLS FOR SALE ON EBAY
    Heidi Fleiss Was Cheaper! - The Gulf Daily News reports that six German women in their mid-30s sold themselves as the ultimate party guests on eBay. Their ad appealed to people whose parties always run out of booze, have the same dull people, not enough women, an empty dance floor, and everyone leaves by 11 p.m. They promised to arrive with a crate of beer, stay late and be the life of the party. They made over $25,000 (US), inspiring four women in their mid-20s to try the same thing, billing themselves as a "cellulite-free alternative to the over-30" party girls.

  • Plus, they keep your guests there longer by having sex with all of them.
  • The over-30 girls can afford to have liposuction now.
  • You'll still need to hire some over-30 women to come in afterward and clean up.
  • This must be how Nikki and Paris Hilton got so rich.


    PARIS HILTON SEX TAPE ALL OVER THE INTERNET
    Paris When It Sizzles - Despite her wealthy parents' legal threats, Paris Hilton's sex tape has exploded all over the Internet. Those who've seen it say it's blurry and green from being shot with a night vision camera, and Paris doesn't appear drugged, semi-conscious or under the control of her then-lover, Rick Solomon, as her parents' lawyers claimed. In fact, at one point, she nearly shoves Solomon off the bed so she can preen naked in front of the camera.

  • That's a little trick she learned by doing fashion shows.
  • She's no more semi-conscious than usual.
  • She doesn't appear drugged, but she does appear starved.
  • People complained that they couldn't see anything, until they realized she's so skinny, there's nothing to see.
  • Her poor parents can't believe it! They were always able to buy up and burn all her previous sex tapes!


    ZETA-JONES HAS LEGAL BEEF OVER FAT
    She Had A Cow - As long as Catherine Zeta-Jones has lawyers, she'll never be called fat. First, she sued Hello! magazine for running photos of her eating wedding cake that made her look fat. Now, her lawyer has sent a letter to the media, warning them not to repeat a tabloid story that she's on the Atkins diet. He claims it makes her seem more concerned with her appearance than her health. People magazine already ran a story saying Zeta-Jones is not on or endorsing Atkins, and she "eats what she wants."

  • Maybe that's why she's so fat.
  • Obviously: she scarfed down that whole wedding cake!
  • So if she eats a slab of bacon and a side of beef, it's just a coincidence.


    SLATER ATTACKED BY HIS WIFE
    Very Bad Things - Christian Slater needed nine stitches to close a gash behind his ear after his wife Ryan allegedly hurled a glass at his head in Las Vegas. She was arrested for domestic battery. The New York Post's Page Six claims the two were fighting after Ryan dragged Christian out of a strip club. He called the incident a "misunderstanding," and a friend claimed Ryan just meant to throw a glass of water at his face as a joke.

  • And if she hadn't kept it in the glass, it would've gone all over, which isn't as funny.
  • That's why he married her: for her delightful sense of humor.
  • Christian should give up women and become Siegfried's new partner: it would be less dangerous.


    GUINNESS BOOK OF RECORDS SETS RECORD
    World's Worst Party Guests - Tuesday, the Guinness Book of World Records held a party at London's Tate Modern Art Gallery to celebrate the printing of their 100 millionth copy, which makes the book the biggest-selling copyrighted work ever. The party was attended by a number of record holders, including the woman with the most piercings, the person with the longest tongue, and the world's loudest belcher, who kicked off the festivities with a reverberating burp. The book's editor said it's so successful because "everybody has a dream to be the best at something."

  • No matter how humiliating.
  • All the guests were left over from a release party for Madonna's last CD.
  • Now, they have to print a new edition of the book just so they can put their own book into their book.
  • They held it at the Tate Gallery because it's the home of the World's Worst Art.
  • It's also settled more bar bets than anything besides a gun.