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Cable Round-Up
The episode of "Tell Me You Love Me" with
Ally Walker's
masturbation scene finally aired. The excellent collage below is by
Scanman.
Jaime Murray got naked again in
another episode of Dexter (s2e7). I didn't see this one on Sunday, so the
film clip and all of the captures below were done by others.
There was no nudity on Weeds yesterday.
Californication has finished its run.
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* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).
* White asterisk:
expanded format.
*
Blue asterisk: not mine.
No asterisk: it probably
sucks.
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OTHER CRAP:
Catch the deluxe
version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles,
here.
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The Misadventures of Margaret
(1998)
The Misadventures of Margaret stars in a lighthearted comedy that is sometimes confusing and misguided as it
meanders through two plots, but has some very amusing moments. Parker visits
France before starting grad school to lose her virginity to a Frenchman so she
won't be the only postgrad virgin in school. She wakes up in the morning with
him only to discover that he is English. When he proposes, she answers, "I just
lost my virginity, not my mind."
They do marry, and return to New York.
Cut to several years in the future.
She is given an award for her best-selling novel, and we see that all is not
well with her marriage. He is a professor of poetry in a junior college, and spending
most of his energy on work. She becomes absorbed in a French diary she is
translating and adapting for her next novel, and visits France to see the actual
chateau in the diary. Since her novel basically consists of adding sex to the story,
since since one of her husband's students has the hots for him, her
libido is aflame and she nearly has her long-postponed tryst with a Frenchman.
From this point on, we are asked to keep track of two stories -- the one we
have been watching, and the adventures of the heroine of Parker's novel. She
returns home, still feeling that something is missing in her life. When her
Frenchman visits, she nearly has sex with him, but he passes because, "You make
the noise, I don't know how you say in English -- like a pig?" When she
discovers that her sister and her sister's best friend have been intimate, she
tries for a lesbian tryst with her, but is rejected. Margaret finally scores
with the dentist.
The dialogue tries for witty and smart, and succeeds once or twice. Memorable lines include:
Edward Nathan: "Save some insanity for menopause!"
Edward Nathan: "Don't look for trouble when there isn't any... 'cause if you
don't find it, you end up creating it."
Margaret Nathan: "You're aging."
Edward Nathan: "You're helping."
Parker Posey is brilliant, and saved what
would have been, for me, an otherwise forgettable film. It is recommended mainly
for Parker Posey fans.
An uncut
German DVD is available from RLDVDs.com. It is a Region 2 PAL disc with the
audio either in German or in the original
English with optional German subtitles. This version of the film is nine minutes
longer than the US release.
Parker Posey and Charlie Waterman show breasts. Several men also do full
frontal. I screened this once before from a US VHS release, and the male nudity
was absent.
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Notes and collages
The Silencers
Part 4 of 6
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Some of the more obscure offerings from the
lengthy career of Joan Collins. It would have been even longer, but she
had to wait a while for movies to be invented. (No nudity in the first two
films below.)
The Bawdy Adventures of Tom Jones
Seven Thieves
L'Arbitro
Followed up by some obscure efforts from the
film career of Elizabeth Hurley.
El Largo Invierno.
This one comes with a film clip.
I have never seen this movie and the scene is new to me.
Double Whammy
And a bit of nothing from the immortal cinema classic, Nightscare
Next under the career microscope: Jill Schoelen
The Stepfather (film clip only)
Some Cutting Class film
clips (Big download: 100+ meg. Samples below)
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Finally, film footage of
Nasty Kinski in Harem |
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Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
Apart from the title, you'll have a hard time relating this 1999
martial arts action flick to Robert Louis Stevenson's classic novel. The
connection is tenuous at best.
Dr. Henry Jekyll is getting married, and then hopes to get rich opening
a private plastic surgery practice. He and new wife Muriel (Karen Cliche)
are honeymooning in Hong Kong when he is forced to try to save the life of
a local Chinese gangster. When he fails, his wife is killed in an
explosion in which he is horribly disfigured, but he is saved by a local
martial arts master and doctor of Chinese medicine. He begins to study the
art of Chinese medicine and seeks revenge against the mob by using Chinese
herbs to turn into Mr. Hyde, a powerful but sinister figure.
From there, this movie just gets more and more stupid and predictable
However, it has TV's Karen Cliche in her second appearance, and doing
nudity at that. She plays Baylin on Flash Gordon and did a ton of other
shows before that. As far as I can find out, this was her only nude role.
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Ma Mere
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Kirsten Imrie, "UK Celebrity" - Part 2 of 3
So I capped this disk called UK Celebrity: Kirsten Imrie a long time ago and thought it might be nice to send in the clips. Uh, now a truth in advertising warning is not a bad idea. Ms. Imrie is not a UK celebrity in the same sense that Her Highness Queen Lizzie is. Or even in the same sense that, oh shall we say the Beckhams are. Ms. Imrie gets nekkid. A lot. And with hooties like the ones she sports, who can blame the gal? But I digress. Her are the caps and the clips with matching numbers and all.
(There is no matching cap for clip 8. My bad.)
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The Comedy Wire
Comments in yellow...
Yet another person claims to have found hidden messages in Leonardo Da
Vinci's painting, "The Last Supper." Italian musician Giovanni Maria Pala heard
a theory that Leonardo hid a musical composition in it, so he spent four years
studying it. He drew a five-line staff over a copy of it, and treated the
loaves of bread and Jesus' and the Apostles' hands as music notes. Reading it
backwards from right to left, he said it sounds like a requiem, "like a
soundtrack that emphasizes the passion of Jesus."
* Funny, I would've expected dinner music.
* From left to right, it's the Oscar Meyer Wiener Song.
* It's not mariachi music, so we know they didn't eat the Last Supper at a
Mexican restaurant.
Southport, Washington, police report that a 66-year-old man had been repairing a
Lincoln Continental for two weeks and had all but one of the lug nuts off the
right rear wheel. So to loosen it, he stood at about arm's length and blasted
it with a 12-gauge shotgun. The ricocheting buckshot and debris peppered him
from legs to chin, and he was seriously, but not mortally, injured. Police said
he wasn't
intoxicated, he was just bound and determined to get that stubborn nut off.
* But the wheel still has one nut attached, and now, so
does he.
The latest fad for women across America is Taser parties. They're like
Tupperware parties, except the women get to learn about and buy the latest in
electro-zapping self-defense technology. Lisa Rigberg, who recently hosted a
party in Arizona, said the Taser guns are a must-have for women, and help them
feel confident in uncomfortable situations. Plus they're light, small, they fit
in a purse, and they come in stylish colors, including a sassy metallic pink.
* Because when a woman's electrocuting a perp, she still
wants to feel like a lady.
The London Times reports that during a meeting at a peace conference, a top
Iranian official told British delegates that openly gay people deserve to be
tortured, executed or possibly both.
* Well, okay, just tortured. It WAS a peace
conference, after all.
* And this is why there are no gay Iranians.
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