Third party videos:

• This is the Zahra Amir Ebrahimi sex tape which has caused so much controversy in Iran.  (Zipped .wmv)

  Here's the story:

  Iranian actress caught in Paris-style sex tape, causes outrage in her country.  Correct me if I'm wrong, but the Middle East needs some new words meaning "even more offended than 'outrage.'" After all, they get outraged by a burnt-out light bulb, and this must go beyond that.

• As I said yesterday, when it comes to advanced lesbotronic techniques, there's no broad like an old broad. Here's the rest of the girl-on-girl action from Kelly McGillis (three more .avis zipped together), weathered but still attractive, getting it on with Susie Porter in The Monkey's Mask. My summary of the movie: "Good sex, good production values, bad mystery, bad poetry." (Movie House Review)

• Thandie Newton in Besieged (Two .avis zipped together.)

• Molly Parker in The Center of the World. (Several .avis zipped together.) . It's a depressing, arthouse, cinema verité film. I kinda sorta liked it, at least as much as you can like a film that doesn't want to be liked. Tuna despised it. (Movie House Review)

• Elizabeth Berkley in Any Given Sunday (Zipped .avi)

• Kristanna Loken in Blood Rayne (Zipped .avi) (Movie House Review) . Sample captures below:

OTHER CRAP:

Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.

Love Circles Around the World (1985)

Love Circles Around the World (1985) is a French sex comedy which traces a bundle of clove cigarettes as they make their way full circle from one bed partner to another.

First, a disk jockey is on holiday in Paris, and is picked up by Marie-France in a disco. He awakes the next morning to find himself in a bed in a furniture store. All she left behind was the odd smokes. He flies home and ends up in bed with his neighbor, Josephine Jacqueline Jones, who takes the cigarettes to work at the hotel where she sells jewelry. A count does her, steals a ring, and takes the cigarettes to Monte Carlo, where he does Sophie Berger in the loo of a casino. She goes with her boyfriend to a resort, and he, a pilot, does Michelle Siu in the cockpit on their way to Hong Kong. Michelle helps her sister (also played by her) by screwing a reporter to keep her husband's name out of the paper. The reporter meets actress Lisa Anderson upon returning to LA. She takes the smokes with her to New York where she auditions for a play. She gets the part based on her casting couch performance, and the director flies off to Paris to convince the author to hire her, and gives the smokes back to Marie-France, thus completing the circle.

I would give you the point of the film if I believed it had one. Rather, the premise was simply a way to segue from one sex incident to another with minimal time wasted in between.

On the negative side: the acting is not at all good; the dubbing is terrible; the attempts at humor fall completely flat, nobody in the cast is treated as more than walking genitalia.; and some fairly nasty behavior (such as sexual blackmail) is dismissed as normal.

On the positive side: the women are very attractive and naked. I would say the target audience for this film would be young men in puberty.

Since you can see pretty naked girls in a much nicer context, this is a D+.

IMDb readers say 4.7 but with only 15 votes. Since the Private Screenings DVD has not been quite released, those 15 must be voting on something they remember from Skinemax.  

Marie-France

Josephine Jacqueline Jones

Michelle Siu

Lisa Allison. Her audition is being video taped, and, on the monitor, it looks like the sex was real in that scene.

Sophie Berger has sex with her knickers still on

Oldie but goodie: Heather Thomas

Paparazzi shots of Jude Law's former partner, Sienna Miller

Sharon Stone out and about in a see-through top

Claire Skinner in Almost Strangers

PETA spokeswoman Pamela Anderson said she wouldn't agree to make her new movie "Blonde & Blonder" until she was assured that no animals would be used or harmed, which means her character's pet turtle that can't stop farting had to be an audioanimatronic robot turtle built by the special effects crew.  Pam said it's "hysterical...He keeps farting all over the set.  I can't wait for this movie to come out in May.  I may have to bring him on our press tour.  Farts are always funny."

*  She learned everything she knows about comedy from Jenny McCarthy.

*  I'm assuming this movie is adapted from a play by Noel Coward.


 

According to a list by Spamhaus.org, just 10 shadowy spammers around the world are responsible for 80 percent of all the junk e-mail that overflows our mailboxes

* You can easily recognize them by their thick, wavy hair and giant penises.