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Notes:
I'm taking some "working vacation," which means I'm still at my
desk, but only 6-8 hours a day instead of 16. So I should be here with
breaking news
Other Crap:
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Romanian prisoner sues God
The trailer for Merry Christmas (Joyeux Noel), a World
War One drama.
Tom Arnold alert!
The trailer for The Kid & I
- Bill Williams (Arnold) is a down-and-out actor who
is unexpectedly hired to write a sequel a la "True
Lies," the action film that made him famous more than a
decade ago. When Bill learns that his co-star is Aaron
Roman, a rich kid with no acting experience, what
appeared to be the chance for a major comeback turns
into a series of outlandish complications. As the duo
embark on a journey of outrageous misadventures, the
unlikely pair discover that it takes more courage to
face real life challenges than it does fighting bad guys
on the big screen. Although Aaron may be inexperienced
in acting, his tenacious spirit, unwavering optimism and
unconditional friendship turns out to be an important,
enduring gift to Bill.
The trailer for Goal! The Dream Begins, a soccer
drama.
The trailer for Backwoods
- Virginie Ledoyen and Paddy Considine play a young
married couple at the end of the 1970s, who come to
visit a friend (Gary Oldman) who now lives in the Basque
region because he has married a woman from there (Aitana
Sanchez-Gijon). Their tranquil summer turns to horror
when they discover a girl with horribly mutilated hands
in the forest. They try to help her by taking her away
from the home in which she is locked, but the local
villagers, who have to protect the girl, start a pursuit
in the forest they know much better than the visitors.
The trailer from 'Firewall'
- Harrison Ford plays the head of security at a major
global bank whose wife and children are held for ransom
in order to convince him to rob his own bank for
millions of dollars.
Moon Unit Zappa tops celebrity children bizarre names poll
Five college presidents pocket more than $1 million in
compensation
How Do You Sell A Movie These Days? Online Satanic
Newscasts.
- How did the world get so crazy? Why, in my day we
had perfectly suitable offline satanic newscasts, and it
was plenty satanic enough for us. Especially the ones
with Robert Trout.
A-Rod edges Big Papi for AL MVP award
VIDEO: Jessica Simpson makes a special and very hot
appearance on That 70s Show
China wants to fix the embarrassing English on Beijing's
bilingual signs as part of an image make-over before it
hosts the 2008 Olympics.
- The Park of Ethnic Minorities is identified as
"Racist Park."
- Drivers are warned about the hazards of a wet road
with a sign that reads: "The slippery are very crafty."
Beijing unveils mascots for 2008 Olympics
The NFL all-criminal team.
Which college team has the hottest fans? I don't know, but
FSU is a serious contender.
Why is pro basketball better in Europe than in the
United States? Well, it has nothing to do with team play,
going back to the fundamentals of the game, or better
coaching.
In Europe, if a hot chick comes on to the court and takes
her top off, security will let her run around for a few
minutes before removing her from the court.
30 years later, Springsteen reflects on breakthrough
album, Born to Run
Angelina Jolie used bat's remnants to win over Brad Pitt,
says voodoo expert
Prez to convert West Wing to jail cells so top aides can
keep working.
Ahmed Chalabi's Return: Transcript of President's Private
Meeting With Famed Pathological Liar Ahmed Chalabi - (WHITEHOUSE.ORG)
Harry Potter will open on IMAX screens in distro
concurrent with the 35mm release, thus assuring that
it will appear on every movie screen in the world
simultaneously.
"Katie (Holmes) has decided to give up acting altogether.
She's been telling friends that she and Tom have decided
it is best she stays at home and brings up their new
baby."
MovieJuice! rips on Derailed
Paris Hilton Not Killed in Car Crash; Nation Mourns
"The Lord God Almighty, Ruler of Heaven and Earth, broke
over 2,000 years of silence and held a press conference
today to formally disavow any and all assumed connection
to infamous televangelist Pat Robertson."
JEANNE WOLF GIVES BAD REVIEW ...
Editing error leads to first-ever criticism by critic
- "Wolf said it should be clear to anyone familiar
with her work the review wasn’t written by her. 'I don’t
even know what half those words mean.'"
If you could stand on a Martian hill and look around ....
(Spectacular photo panorama from the Spirit rover) |
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Movie Reviews:
Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format.
Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.
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"Teenage Cavegirl"
Teenage Cavegirl (2004) is a sexploitation style soft core film directed by Fred Olen Ray. As it opens, an obvious cave girl and her mate are having sex. She gets up in the morning, goes out to hunt, misses a terrible cgi dinosaur, and jumps through a time portal into the future where she finds a motor home and hides inside. Meanwhile, an archeologist and his main squeeze are searching for proof of prehistoric life in the area. They see the time portal, which spooks them, so they return to their motorhome, and have sex. Of course, the cave girl watches.
They spot her, interrupting the afterglow, and take her home as the archeological find of the century. The wife takes the cave girl to the bath, cleans her up, and they have a lovely little girl/girl. The archeologist calls a professor to check out his find. Meanwhile, the cave man goes through the portal looking for his mate. He stops along the way to watch a couple in the back seat of a car. The professor arrives with his girl friend. The two men take the cave girl into another room for testing, while the girls meet up with the cave man for a three way. And so it goes, until just about every possible pairing has been tried.
Jezebelle Bond as the cave girl gives a hilarious 3 B performance. Other 3B performers are Kennedy Johnston as the archeologist's wife, Nicole Sheridan as the professor's significant other, and Lezle Zen as the woman in the car.
A very few IMDb readers have this at 4.5. It may be in part because IMDb lists it as a comedy, rather than a soft core comedy. Two of the sex scenes were a little dark, but it was otherwise well photographed. There were plenty of laughs, not the least of which was some very bad cgi dinosaurs, but the humorous highlight for me was Bond answering questions with lines from commercials she had just seen on TV. The plot exceeds genre standards, the acting was surprisingly good and the cast seemed like they were having a lot of fun. What this adds up to is a C+ as a soft core comedy. It reminds me of 70s exploitation, but has better photography and is a little more explicit than most of the 70s efforts.
"Pagan Island"
Pagan Island (1961) opens with a man and a woman on a life raft. It is spotted by boat. The man is saved, but the woman is dead. The man then tells his story. He was on a tanker which caught fire. He was the only survivor and maned to float on a life raft to a tropical island inhabited only by women. Seems it is home to "The Sea God" and they are all potential brides to the sea god. Princess Nani Maka (played by Nani Maka) is this years lucky virgin. Naturally, she is the one the sailor falls for. He hatches a scheme where they will escape the island with jewels from a pirates treasure and live happily ever after. Unfortunately, the sea god has other ideas.
Nani Maka shows breasts as do several other young women. They are topless except for flowered leis. IMDb readers say 4.5. Again, save for breast exposure, this is typical early B film fare. C.
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Today from the Ghost...here is August Avilla baring it all while gettin' it on in scenes from an episode of the late night series, "Hotel Erotica".
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Today we visit a lo-budget horror flick called "Delta Delta Die!". It's distinguished only by it's fair amount of nudity.
Katie Adams briefly bares all in a dark outdoor scene.
Katie Adams
The best of the nudity is probably served up by Rachel Myers. Robo-breasts, followed by a hint of bush while playing strip poker and then a brief shower scene.
Next up is Tiffany Shepis shows her boobies while stripping for a couple of guys. She is fast becoming one of the new age Scream Queens.
Tiffany is followed by a real veteran Scream Queen Brinke Stevens, who in her advancing age reveals nothing anymore, but she still has nice legs.
Brinke Stevens
And when you talk about Scream Queens, Julie Strain has to be in that mix and even tho she has been around quite awhile she has no problem still showing off her Robo-Hooters.
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I'm brewing a copious cocktail of clips of German actresses. I hope you'll
like it.
First we have talented and award-winning Karoline Eichhorn in "Der Sandmann"
(1995). She seems in big trouble in these four clips, (1,
2,
3,
4) or maybe
she isn't, who knows?
Claudia Geisler is coming clean in the bath tub in 1992's "Herzsprung".
Silvia (or Sylvia) Vas is sun-tanning in the back yard in "Die Superbullen"
from 1997. I noticed the IMDb has a Sylvia Vas and a Silvia Vas entry. Does
anyone know whether these are two different actresses or is there a mix-up
somewhere?
Lara-Joy Körner has decorated her bed with Christmas tree lights to welcome
her lover in "Das Geheimnis des Rosengartens" (2000, aka. Der Zauber des
Rosengartens).
Let me end this contribution with a short clip of Italian actress Giuliana
De Sio who quickly flashes a breast at Philippe Noiret in 1986's "Speriamo
che sia femmina".
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'Caps and comments by Dann:
"Zombie Night"
Poor acting hurts but doesn't entirely ruin what is a fairly decent Zombie story in this 2003 Canadian independent production.
Pakistan and India get involved in a nuclear war. The fallout spreads worldwide causing a disease that turns people into Zombies. It spreads as the living dead bite the non-infected, whose numbers rapidly shrink.
Things turn into chaos, leaving people to band into small groups to survive. The movie focuses on one small group struggling to survive in spite of Zombies and a bad guy in their midst.
Nothing new here, but the story and script are decent, and the special effects are surprisingly good. What cripples the movie most is lame acting, but I suspect Zombie lovers will still get some enjoyment out of this flick.
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| Sandra Segovic |
Naomi Vondell |
Tara |
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From the Skin-meister...here is reality TV babe ("The Real World" and "The Surreal Life") Trishelle Cannatella topless in a sex scene from "The Scorned" (2005).
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Pat's comments in yellow...
TOP MOVIE HEROES AND VILLAINS
We Saw "Wicked": The Witch Is A Hero - The American Film Institute released
its list of the top 50 heroes and top 50 villains in movies. The #1 hero was
Atticus Finch, the noble lawyer in "To Kill a Mockingbird," and the #1 villain
was Hannibal Lechter. Runner-up top heroes (in order) were Indiana Jones,
James Bond and Rick Blaine, while Lechter was trailed by Norman Bates, Darth
Vader and the Wicked Witch of the West.
* Hannibal Lechter ate the runners-up for lunch.
* The greatest hero of all time is a lawyer? No wonder Hollywood is called
"Fantasyland!"
* I say the greatest villain in movie history is the guy who priced the
popcorn...And the greatest hero is the studio executive who said, "No more Pauly
Shore movies!"
$1,500 FOR ONE SQUARE INCH OF LAND
The Trump Inch - Officials in Owen County, Indiana, hope to find somebody
who'll pay $1,500 for a square inch of land. They think it got separated in the
1960s, when it was deeded to someone to get around a law that you had to own
land to use the lake. The bank foreclosed on it, and it's now being auctioned
to pay back taxes, but the law says the minimum bid for all tax sale
properties is $1500. An official said it's too small to plant a flower on, but the
price works out to almost $7 billion an acre, possibly the most expensive real
estate in the world.
* ...Next to San Francisco.
* It's the size of a postage stamp, but one day, a postage stamp will cost
$1,500, too.
* If it were in Manhattan, they'd build a condo on it and sell it for $2
million.
* That minimum price must've been set by men: only a man would think
something could be worth $1,500 an inch.
NEW PLAYBOY BUNNY COSTUMES UNVEILED
Even More Boning - Friday in Las Vegas, Italian designer Roberto Cavalli
unveiled his new version of the classic Bunny costume for a planned Playboy
casino. It will feature the first Bunnies since the last Playboy Club closed in
Michigan in 1988. The new Bunny costume still has the ears, tail and cuffs, but
now sports a sexy external corset, S&M-style metallic collar and armbands,
high-cut legs and a lower-cut bodice. Cavalli said it's "very glamorous."
* It must be: I think I saw Gwen Stefani wearing it last week.
* And it's in Vegas, so when you get tired of all the topless showgirls and
nude dancers, you can go stare at the Bunnies.
* They needed new costumes: the originals were old and ratty and kept
creeping up on the girls' behinds...much like Hugh Hefner.
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