The Erotic Misadventures of the Invisible Man (2003 video) is the newest  soft core based on the erotic comics of Milo Manara from the Rolfe Kanefsky Click Productions. The title alone gives you the main plot points. An aspiring actor shows up for an audition to do the laugh track for a commercial, and sees his girlfriend, with whom he lives rent-free, with another guy. Then, at his day job, waiter for a catering service, he is fired. Then, he spills an invisibility potion on himself, and becomes invisible. So, in a few short hours, he has lost his girlfriend, his apartment, his job and his body.

He quickly discovers that invisibility has some advantages, and ends up scoring with Gabriella Hall soon and often. The basically silly plot takes them all over Europe, and I doubt that their is a single full two minute stretch in the film with no female nudity. There is so much, in fact, that I have only done Gabriella Hall images for tonight. She was in four separate, well lit and lengthy nude scenes, and showed everything, including full frontal. I did spot crotch patches on most of the women in the film, but only briefly.
 

• Thumbnails ( 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
• Gabriella Hall ( 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70)

Så vit som en snö (2001)

The funniest thing about this film is the English translation, "As white as in snow". I suppose they simply took the five words from Swedish and translated them into English without worrying about whether it made any sense. It's not "as white as a snowflake", or "as white as a snowfall", or "as white as snow" (which is probably what they meant), but "as white as in snow". What is "in" snow anyway? Isn't it just more friggin' snow?

First rule of translation: you can translate OUT of a secondary language, but you must only translate INTO one of your native languages, so that you can recognize instantly whether the word combinations really exist.

I haven't seen this movie, but I noticed that Graphic Response had some primo caps, and that the internationally known actress showed the whole monty, including a shot up the Inn of the Eighth Happiness, so I made a few extra collages from his raw captures.

• Amanda Ooms (1, 2, 3, 4)

Into the Night (1985)

Although this film is not a great one, it probably is more suitable than any other I know of for a demonstration of the modern/post-modern debate. In the middle of the previous century, actors and authors were trying to dig deeper and deeper into reality, to create an illusion that the audience wasn't watching a manufactured drama, but actual life. Pauline Kael wrote of the time in March of 1946 when she saw a young, unknown actor have an epileptic fit on the stage of the Belasco theater in Maxwell Anderson's "Truckline Cafe". She was embarrassed for the poor kid, who got his first break in a big role, and had to have something like that happen on stage during a play. She was not alone. Except for those who had seen the play before, the entire audience was convinced that it was not the character who was convulsing, but the actor. On more than one occasion, an employee of the theater had to stop people from calling doctors, or to stop doctors from rushing to his assistance.

Now THAT's acting. As a former stage actor with the love for theater but not the talent for it, I could die happily if I could do that.

The unknown actor did not remain unknown for very long. Very soon thereafter, he would dazzle the world with his stage and screen performances in a Streetcar Named Desire. Brando's acting coach was Stella Adler. Ms Adler and Lee Strasberg were the two primary advocates of the Stanislavsky "method" of acting, a style that would gradually replace the old oratorical style of acting exemplified by John Barrymore.

Brando moved to Hollywood in 1950, and "the method" moved with him. Hollywood gradually, slowly started replacing the old larger-than-life Burt Lancaster style of acting with the new modern method in which guys tried to be exactly the same size as life. Movie conventions followed suit. It was an unwritten understanding in modern movies that the characters in those movies didn't see other movies, and didn't copy characters in other movies. Movies existed in one world, reality in another. A movie was allowed to copy reality, but not to copy other movies. Characters in "worthwhile", "modern" movies were supposed to behave like people, not like movie characters.

Parallel to that development was a completely contrary one. As movies gained a greater and greater influence on our consciousness, they became part of reality, and became fully integrated into culture itself. Movies started to base themselves on the worlds created in previous movies rather than on the real world. Characters started to refer to speak dialogue which referred to other movies. Characters sometimes even knew they were in a movie. Most important, characters behaved by the conventions of movie character behavior, not by the rules of life. In any given situation, if you could imagine the character asking himself "what would a real person do in this case?" and "what would a movie character do in this case?", you'd realize that they always chose the latter. These movies are not really like the "modern" ones, and they are not really any form of nostalgia, or recidivism. They are post-modern, a term necessary to acknowledge that the gap between the "real" world and the "movie" words is disappearing, because movies shape popular culture.

The debate between the supporters of these styles raged for decades, and continues to do so. The reality school will always produce films like To Kill a Mockingbird, The Pianist and Raging Bull, but the post-modernist school is grabbing more and more of the public's imagination. Existing movies seem to live in the world of previous movies, not in the real world. (Scream would be the perfect illustration.) Tarantino's films push the limit of the post-modernist theory. Although they include characters who seem to be human, they are not. They come from an alien culture as much as the oddest characters in the oddest episodes of Star Trek, except that the culture exists in a world of infinite width and height, and infinitesimal depth: the world on screen.

John Landis's Into the Night was very much a harbinger of Tarantino's films. It exists in a world which seems sorta like earth except nothing in it ever has happened, or ever will. The plot developments are not only illogical, they simply could not be. They are deliberately as silly as possible, in order to let the audience in on the joke. A the very end, when all seems blackest for our heroes, as they appear to be headed for a few years of serious prison sodomy, a "federal agent" brings them three quarters of a million dollars and sanctuary.  Defying the entire concept of an "agent", he doesn't have an agency  - he just identifies himself as "I'm a federal agent". He's just doing what all federal agents do - delivering vast quantities of money from one civilian to another. On his way out, he pockets about a hundred grand of the windfall for himself because - "who are you gonna tell?"

The film begins with a slice in the life of an aerospace engineer (Jeff Goldblum). I reckon they don't pay those lads a lot, because even though he has a working wife, Goldblum lives in a 50s tract house, next to an auto paint/body shop, under a noisy double freeway overpass. Ah, California Dreamin'. His life sucks a lot worse than that. He can't sleep. We're not talking a mild sleeping disorder here, where he tosses and turns and sleeps fitfully, then falls asleep on the job. Nosiree. He doesn't sleep at all. Nada. He just stares ahead in a daze, night and day. He screws up on the job, gets sent home, and finds his wife in bed with an ugly bald dude.

Ouch. This is gonna be a really bad day. 

The day gets much worse when he drives around aimlessly and gets in the middle of a situation with a damsel in distress, ruthless Iranian smugglers (who act like the Keystone Cops with live ammo, and blow up most of Los Angeles that night), French thieves, English hit men, Elvis impersonators, and God knows what else. No matter where Goldblum takes the distressed damsel (Michelle Pfeiffer) trouble follows, although never logically.

To stress the point that this is not a film about people, but a film about films, Landis wrote the script so that it would be filled with dozens of completely inessential characters, and then filled many of those roles with his fellow directors, including David Cronenberg, Jonathan Demme, Jim Henson, Colin Higgins, Lawrence Kasdan, Jonathan Lynn, Paul Mazursky, Daniel Petrie, Don Siegel, and Roger Vadim. Oh, yes, and Landis himself as one of the Iranian Keystone Kops. We can be thankful that most of these people had no more than a line or two. Of the four that had larger roles, Landis did fine in a big role with no lines, David Cronenberg did well as an aerospace geek, Paul Mazursky performed at the level of a local used car salesman reading cue cards, and Roger Vadim got the maximum mileage out of his limited ability in a pretty funny turn, acting in a role obviously written just for him, and one completely inessential to the film.

If that isn't enough evidence that we live in a post-modern world, this film also includes a long stretch of Abbot and Costello Meet Frankenstein, an homage to one of the first films which not only acknowledged the existence of earlier films, but actually entered their world.

Let's face it, this movie is dumb. Is this a bad thing? I don't see why. I really like it. I just accepted the fact that it was a fantasy, kicked back, and went along for the ride. Not every day is an Ingmar Bergman day. Some days you just want to go to Six Flags and ride the roller coaster.

It has humor, sympathetic characters, hilariously bad acting from great directors who should have known better, gratuitous and excessive violence, and gratuitous nudity. Among the gratuities, it has Michelle Pfeiffer stark naked for no reason other that to have Michelle Pfeiffer stark naked. I don't know what more one needs in this imperfect world. Great junk film!
 

• Michelle Pfeiffer (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
• One great regret. This would have been the perfect film for a full-screen full frame version to go with the widescreen. Because of the widescreen, look what we lost: Pfeiffer. It is enough to make you cry even more than when Ol' Yeller died.
• Kathryn Harrold (non nude) (1, 2)
• Peggy Sanders
• Sue Bowser

Just for fun, here's Sue Bowser's complete filmography:

1. Into the Night (1985) .... Girl on Boat
2. The Wild Life (1984) .... Girl at Party
3. Doctor Detroit (1983) .... Dream Girl
4. Stripes (1981) .... Mud wrestler

What a career it was, never knowing if she would lose some key roles to Kate Hepburn. As far as I know, she is not related to Jon 'Bowzer' Bauman

Paparazzi (2003)

• More Portman kinda-sorta see-throughs. Lucas cast her perfectly as a princess. Well, I guess the casting would have been better if she had some acting talent, but what I mean is she sure LOOKS like a princess.  (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
• And some of the chaste, virginal Paris Hilton (1, 2)
• And one of Scarlett Johansson that almost let the goodies slip

Mailbox (2003)

Scoops: found this report on stage nudity in Korea. Written by Kim Ryong-woon

Nude performances are becoming commonplace on Korea's theatrical stages. The opera "Rigoletto," which closed early this month, featured men and women fully or partially nude, followed by a dance musical with "bare" performers.

In dance, the Japanese-born American dancer Maurine Fleming will perform her hour-long show "After Eros" on Oct. 25-26 completely in the nude. On Oct. 27-29 at the Teowol Theater in the Seoul Arts Center, France’s Ballet Prejocaj performs "Rite of Spring," in which a female dancer performs naked. At the Hanjeon Artspool Center, the musical "The Full Monty" ends with a strip show of workers at a steel factory.

Nudity is no longer shocking at arts performances. Disputes of "art or obscenity" are now old-fashioned. Nevertheless, this "nude trend" is somewhat different from the past. As nudity surpasses commercialism, the bare body is being used as a form of art to portray the work's theme more clearly. And the level of nudity has become more daring. Before, scenes that would have caused arguments of prurience or indecency are now being accepted by audiences as perfectly natural.

Although "Rigoletto" was a foreign work, it was the first opera to be staged on the peninsula with fully nude perfomers. The work contains a scene in which a completely naked couple and six women with their breasts bared have a "party" for 10 minutes. The portrayal of the male sexual organ was predicted to be rather shocking for a domestic opera productions - the Seoul Arts Center worried whether this opera would be swept up in disputes for obscenity. But audiences were quite calm.

“In an arts performance, nudity must be understood as art," said an official at the arts center. "In the Broadway musical "Oh! Calcutta!" which ran for 16 years since 1989 and "Women of Troy" performed at the 1997 Seoul International Theater Festival, there are many nude performances that are considered high level works of art. To view these as strange is what is strange.”

The opera director Cho Sung-jin said, “On the stage, the ‘body’ is a channel that sends artistic language and messages through images. Nudity depends on how it is portrayed in the performance and should not be frowned on in itself.”

The Seoul Arts Center performance business director Ahn Ho-sang says, “Before, it would have been very hard for works such as "Rigoletto" to be performed in Korea. However, the audiences accepted it very naturally, as part of the plot.”

The nude trend in movies, visual arts and with celebrities seems to have worked as the foundation for bolder nude performances. A music critic, Han Sang-woo, says, “In foreign countries, there are performances that are 'more' than 'Rigoletto.' Seeing that the performance was staged with no mishaps, it seems that our attitude in accepting culture has become more mature.

A dance choreographer, Ahn Ae-sun, said, “In dance, shedding clothes represents freedom. There should be more discussions of the body in dance. Just focusing on nudity may pull down the quality of the dance and cause misunderstandings.”

There are also criticisms that this popularity of nudity in performances may lean toward stimulating sexual curiosity. The Arts Center's performance planning director Koh Hee-kyung said, “We must guard ourselves against attempts to incite unnecessary lasciviousness, such as what you would see at some back-alley stages of the past

Scoop's note: Hey, I noticed these were all in SOUTH Korea. I'll bet they're not so freakin' liberal up there in Yankee country.

OTHER CRAP:

• Palestinian militants are sending 'very positive' signals that they are ready for a cease-fire with Israel. Man, I was skeptical at first, but Pitt and Aniston really have that Middle East under control.

• Inside London's Erotica convention

• Harlem Globetrotters lose after 288 consecutive wins. Bookies scramble to pay Krusty.

• Scientist prove that it is not possible to snort cocaine from a prostitute's breasts.

• Kylie in concert. Short skirts and fishnets.

• Saddam's new tape: "The Iraqi people should elect their leaders from those who had served them for several years, even if they did [make] some mistakes" Sure, what's a few mass graves between friends? My advice for Saddam on future broadcasts: less talk, more rock!

• NASA Mars Odyssey Image in True Color (almost)

• Namath revisited. Chad Johnson promised that his Cincinnati Bengals would defeat the mighty, undefeated Chiefs - and they did! Stranger than that, the Bengals are in first place in their division!

• DoD Statement, "News reports that the Defense Department recently confirmed new information with respect to contacts between al-Qaida and Iraq in a letter to the Senate Intelligence Committee are inaccurate." This is fascinating. A couple of days ago, The Weekly Standard reported this highly detailed report about Iraq/al-Qaeda connections as detailed in a "secret memo" - a US government document. The new link is an official US Governent denial (or at least a near-denial).The Weekly Standard has not responded, to my knowledge. Frankly, I am lost as this point, but it is a fascinating story in development.

• Russell Crowe’s new film does pretty well in opening week, but ‘Elf’ does better.

• S.F. photographer explores the hidden world of Asian sex workers.

• A detailed critical movie review of the hottest movie out there today. Am I referring to Master and Commander? That's not even close. It's a frame-by-freame analysis of the Paris Hilton sex tape. Funny stuff.

• Bottom falls out of "bikini girl" market. A tragic day for the global economy.

• The Animated Adventures of Captain Doo Doo

• Valley of the Geeks - Banner Ads We'd Like To See

• Kids, don't try to light your farts at home A hilarious film of the result.

• Ruined Endings. All the surprises for movies with surprise endings.

• "Charles's lifestyle would put Louis XIV to shame and is totally inappropriate in 21st century Britain." And that was a quote from Princess Stephanie of Monaco. Just kidding. I think it was from an undisclosed piss-boy.

• Nervous breakdown imminent? Mouseketeer breaks into tears, ends interview.

• How rich are you? Key in your income, and it compares you to the world average.

• URL says it all: FatChicksinPartyHats.com. Again, the URL says WHAT it is, but WHY is anyone's guess.

• Jeez, I miss the 70s. Even a bath was in bad taste.

• Celebrity-Lookalikes

   

Other crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

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MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Review of “Dark Blue World”

A love story. A history lesson. Hard luck. Aerial action.

A great Hollywood production?

Not this time. This great film comes from the former Eastern Block. The film is from director Jan Sverák of the Czech Republic.

The movie starts in a cold communist prison camp. Former Czech aviators, who escaped from the Germans and flew in the RAF, were rounded up after the war by the communists. They were imprisoned for knowing too much about western culture, hence presenting a danger to communist rule.  The main protagonist, Franta (Ondrej Vetch) relates his wartime adventures in the RAF while he recovers from pneumonia in the ancient prison hospital. His doctor is a former SS doctor who is being imprisoned for his role in the German occupation.

The story Franta tells centers around his struggle to get himself and his protege accepted as equals by the Brits. It also delves into their personal lives. Franta and his young subordinate Karel (Krystof Hádek) had escaped Czechoslovakia, leaving their former lives and lovers behind, as the movie portrayed the stoically endured humiliation of the Czech surrender. They escaped and trained to fly spitfires in the RAF. Karel became Franta’s wingman as well as sidekick. Both ended up falling in love with the same English woman, Susan (Tara Fitzgerald). Susan took a quick liking to the older Franta, which led to a dangerous conflict between the two friends. There were some narrow escapes and harrowing moments when Karel was forced down in occupied France.

The movie takes some interesting dramatic twists, and features some outstanding aerial sequences. This was done with a mix of actual warbirds and some ingenious special effects. The spitfires were real enough. The German 109s however seemed to be a different model than the ones actually used.  The photography leaves one feeling strapped into the wildly maneuvering aircraft.

The movie gets a rating of 7.4/10 from the IMDb.

DVD: The DVD of this movie includes a photo gallery, some documentary material, and scene selections. The transfer is top quality. The sound quality is also outstanding. If you like this kind of movie, I think it is a definitely worth buying.

AVAILABILITY: It is available at Amazon and Suncoast for about the same price.

NUDITY: Both Linda Rybová and Tara Fitzgerald show some skin. Linda does a dim love scene with Franta just before the surrender is announced. Tara shows some skin during an evening get together with Franta.

• Tara Fitzgerald

• Linda Rybova