Friday

Notes:

I'm taking some "working vacation," which means I'm still at my desk, but only 6-8 hours a day instead of 16. So I should be here with breaking news.


Other Crap:

G.I. Joe toys beheaded in retaliation for bombing of Smurf village.

Now that Nicole Richie has written a book, she hopes some day to read one.

Discover Music through Pandora. This is pretty cool. Essentially it lets you create a custom radio station. It improves with your feedback.

Beer For Dogs! Share a beer with your best friend!

The trailer for Happy Feet

  • "'Happy Feet' is a comedy adventure set in the land of the Emperor Penguins in the heart of Antarctica. These penguins sing, each needing their own special song to attract a soul mate. Unfortunately, our hero Mumble (Elijah Wood), son of Memphis (Hugh Jackman) and Norma Jean (Nicole Kidman), is the worst singer in the world... but he can tap dance something fierce!"

Joaquin Phoenix on finding the voice and spirit of Johnny Cash

Letterman's' "Top Ten Questions Paris Hilton Asked Herself Before Buying A Monkey"

The CIA is so impressed by Dr. Phil's interrogation techniques they're interested in hiring him as a consultant. (Weekly World News)

BUSH EXECUTES WHITE HOUSE TURKEY FOR ROLE IN CIA LEAK ... Exonerates Libby, Rove, Cheney, Self

  • "While the President usually pardons the turkey in a pre-Thanksgiving ceremony, Mr. Bush said that after launching an extensive investigation of his own he determined that the turkey and no one else was responsible for the leak."

Will Angelina Jolie call Diana Ross "mom"?

LAPD investigated for failure to follow up on celebrity-related incidents. (Steve-O with a bag of reefer, and Paris Hilton's auto accident.)

Mischa Barton's breast falls out on The O.C. (Story only)

Here is a video of Mischa Barton's dark breast-escape on the O.C. (I don't think I would have known it happened unless somebody had told me in advance. Maybe not even then.)

"very pregnant Jennifer Garner on Alias set." (It's gotta be soon. She is huge.)

Mr Twig has the new South Park episode (The boys take on Scientology)

The Daily Show: While his critics are focusing on how the President mislead us into Iraq, the President is totally focused on misleading us out of it.

The Daily Show hires a consultant to help them target the youth demographic.

Google Base is now ready to rock 'n roll. Info here.

 

 


Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.



 

"Private Parts"

Private Parts (1972) is a Paul Bartel film that IMDb has called Blood Relations, although they admit that Private Parts is the original title. It stars Ayn Ruymen as Cheryl, teenage runaway to L.A, who gets into an argument with her root mate, Ann Gibbs, and goes to stay in a seedy hotel with her strange aunt. Aunt Martha seems to feel that women are mostly evil due to sexual appetites, and also doesn't want Cheryl having anything to do with the other guests, especially a photographer named George. George, however, is very interested in Cheryl, and spies on her both in her bedroom and in the bath. Cheryl is on to him, but enjoys the attention. George also has a thing for blow-up dolls, and pastes Cheryl's face on his favorite.

Other guests include a gay preacher, a drunk, and a strange old woman. People start dying, and we are left to wonder who is doing it and why. The ending is somewhat surprising, so I will stop here.

Ruymen shows breasts and buns, and Gibbs briefly shows breasts. IMDb readers say 6.6. This is a very strange film, which, of course, is the norm from Paul Bartel. The characters are well developed, but not especially likable. This is a C- in the horror genre. It has some gore, some nudity, and a surprise ending.

Ann Gibbs

Ayn Ruymen



"Tarz & Jane, Cheeta & Boy"

Tarz & Jane, Cheeta & Boy (1976) is a softcore spoof on the Tarzan movie, one of many such spoofs. Tarz has his pecker bitten off by a crocodile, and they travel to the land of Wango Wango to get him a new one. Along the way, Cheeta does Jane, Jane does boy, and they meet up with a great white huntress and her gay assistant. The huntress, played by Georgina Spelvin, does everyone, and the gay assistant is enamored of boy.Tallie Cochrane plays Jane.

Both women show everything, and their is full frontal male nudity as well.

It is a quirk of the IMDb rating system that it is currently rated 8.2, but based on only six votes. The plot line is silly and the acting terrible. It could never be made today due to the way the "Wango Wango" people were portrayed. To give an idea of what they consider humor, Tarz uses an aluminum ladder to get into his tree house, because the vine broke and he "fell on his ass." This is a C- as one of the more competent of the soft core Tarzan spoofs, but will only be of interest to exploitation fanatics.

Georgina Spelvin

Tallie Cochrame

Unknown

 



Today from the Ghost...Long time lady of late night Monique Parent gets it on in several scenes from an episode of the series "Intimate Sessions".


Monique Parent



We have a little "Grab Bag" of stuff for today.

We kick it off with Mary-Louise Parker in "Angels in America", nice full frontal nudity.


Mary-Louise Parker


Then we move on to "Frida". Nice nudity from three ladies, including: Lucia Bravo who bares her breasts. Salma Hayek, who also gets a little naked. And Ivana Sejenovich who goes full frontal while posing for a painting.


Lucia Bravo


Salma Hayek


Ivana Sejenovich


We conclude today's batch with some goodies from TV Land as Pamela Anderson visits "Leno".


Pamela Anderson




I hope you don't mind me taking things a bit slowly after yesterday's overdose. Nevertheless we'll still uncover three actresses.  

1. Kate Winslet stark naked in "Iris" (2001) (1, 2). May I invite you to read Scoop's heartbreaking review in the Movie House on this one? It is beyond doubt his most personal and emotional review to date. If this doesn't get to you, nothing will. 

2. Brooke Adams topless with a hint of pubes in "The Invasion of the Snotty Badgers" (1978), or is it Body Snatchers? 

3. Mary Louise Weller topless in National Lampoon's Animal House (1978).  

I hope this satisfies your appetite for today.



'Caps and comments by Dann:

"The Devil's Rejects"
There are no nice people in this 2005 crime/horror flick. The bad guys are bad. The good guys (the cops) are almost as bad. Even the innocent victims are a little screwed up. All in all, this is a scary, badass movie.

Rob Zombie's follow up to House of 1000 Corpses is set months after the first movie. The Texas cops are slightly annoyed at the 1000+ victims attributed to the Firefly family, and the manhunt is on. One of them is a brother of one of the Firefly's victims, and he is obsessed with getting them all.

Non-stop action, violence, mayhem, and gore are what this movie offers. It's gruesome but well done, and the ending is fitting although it casts doubts about another sequel. Still, the door is left open just slightly. A cool, unpleasant, but exciting flick.


Sheri Moon Priscilla Barnes Kate Norby
Ginger Lynn Allen Jessica Helmer Unknown



'Caps and comments by Oz:

"Thunderbolt and Lightfoot"
Plenty of nudity in Thunderbolt and Lightfoot (1974). Luanne Roberts shows everything during her 4 seconds of screen time and Leslie Oliver is topless. We see a side view of a naked June Fairchild and there's plenty of cleavage by Catherine Bach and Claudia Lennear.

Catherine Bach Luanne Roberts Leslie Oliver
 
June Fairchild Claudia Lennear  


"Street Justice"
There's a lot more cleavage by Catherine Bach in Street Justice (1987).

Catherine Bach


"Get Shorty"
Bette Midler and Rene Russo are down to their underwear in Get Shorty (1995).

Bette Midler Rene Russo




Here are 3 clips from Johnny Moronic featuring "Princess Diaries" Anne Hathaway topless in "Havoc". (1, 2, 3)

Look for it on DVD November 29th.

From Starbase....here is French-Canadian babe Tara Spencer-Nairn going topless in scenes from "Wishmaster 4: The Prophecy Fulfilled" (2002).

The Skin-man catches Maggie Gyllenhaal showing just a bit o' boob in a scene from "Happy Endings" (2005).




Pat's comments in yellow...

"STAR TREK" ACTOR BODY PART NEWS ROUND-UP
"Ah Need More Power!" - The ashes of James Doohan, who played Scotty the engineer on the original "Star Trek," were set to go into space this week, but the rocket's launch was aborted due to a bad engine test. A spokesman for Space Services Inc. told AFP that it will require another month of testing, and Scotty's ashes will blast off in February.

* William Shatner replied, "Damn it, we don't have that much time!"
* Ironically, Scotty could have gotten that engine running in 10 minutes.

He Can't Sell His Hambone, He Needs It To Act - William Shatner claims his kidney stone is the "ultimate piece of 'Star Trek' memorabilia," and he wants to sell it on eBay to help a charity.

* The American Egomania Foundation.
* Toss in Scotty's ashes, and you've got a deal!


PARIS HAS A KINKAJOU
Kinky! - Contrary to reports, Paris Hilton wasn't attacked by her pet monkey while buying lingerie and a bullwhip. Her new pet, Baby Luv, is actually a kinkajou, a tiny relative of the raccoon that is now the trendy pet, though nobody can say why. They have razor-sharp teeth, can turn on you with no warning, make weird barking and screaming sounds, and can't be trained or housebroken. They also like to lick things with their 6-inch tongues, and the males are very horny and bite females' necks during sex.

* At least now we know why Paris got one.
* Britney Spears married one of those.
* So THAT'S why she needed to buy a bullwhip!
* A raccoon wouldn't have fit in with her friends...They actually wash their food.


DRIVING WITH MR. T
OnStar Ex-Stars - A Los Angeles company called Wanderlust Media plans to offer a variation on the driving directions offered by Navtones car navigation systems. The standard system gives turn-by-turn directions in a calm female voice, but Wanderlust thinks people will find it more exciting to get directions from a celebrity, such as Burt Reynolds, Dennis Hopper or Mr. T. And they don't just give dull directions: Mr. T, for instance, makes threats and barks, "Pay attention to what I'm sayin'!"

* You might as well just let your wife give you directions.
* I pity da fool who takes those street directions.
* How lost would you have to be to take street directions from Dennis Hopper?
* Burt Reynolds only directs you to the nearest plastic surgery clinic.
* Avoid the Ellen DeGeneres: you'll be driving in circles forever.