Truck Turner (1974) is a blacksploitation film staring Isaac Hayes, who also did the score. He plays "Mac Truck" Turner, former football player, and bounty Hunter. When he and his partner go after a particularly nasty pimp/drug dealer, they end up in a shootout, and kill him. His girl, played by Annik Borel, runs out topless, and stabs Hayes' partner with a pair of scissors, providing the only exposure. The pimp's lead lady takes out a contract on Hayes for shooting her man. The film is all action, with car chases, gun fights, and some fist fights, as Hayes defends himself against an army of pimps with guns. NOTE TO PIMPS: stick to peddling ass, and, if you need Isaac Hayes killed, hire someone who can shoot straight.

IMDB readers have this at 6.3 of 10. This is about right for what it is, a passable genre effort. C.

MOVIES:

Trapped is an expensive thriller with Charlize Theron and Kevin Bacon. It was in theaters a couple of weeks ago. So why haven't you ever heard of it? Good question. The studio must have known that it had major problems. They released it without pre-screening it for critics, and waited until summer was over. They distributed it broadly to 2200 theaters at once, without any prior limited release in the big cities. They did everything possible to keep the word-of-mouth under control. It failed. It's difficult to control sources like IMDb and internet chat boards. People kept talking and writing to one another about audiences screaming "this sucks" at the screen, and laughing at the most dramatic moments. After a full two weeks in 2200 theaters, it did no better than $6 million dollars. Assuming four showings per theater per day, that's fifty bucks per showing.

Even the nudity sucked. The camera is right on a topless Courtney Love in good light. So what's wrong? The ol' bubble bath trick - Courtney moves around, but those bubbles never budge! There is another scene in which Courtney takes off her bra and puts on a robe. A minute later, the robe opens, we expect the goodies, and the bra is back on! Charlize stays dressed altogether, but there's a pretty sexy scene in which she pulls a scalpel out of her panties.

• Courtney Love. (1, 2)

Scotland, Pa is a wacky comedy and a modern interpretation of Shakespeare's Macbeth. Nudge-nudge. Say no more. Breath mint, candy mint.

Actually, I thought it was a fairly good comedy, despite the almost certain contrary omens - modern-day Shakespeare, James LeGros, Andy Dick. You would bet against it, even giving odds, but you'd lose your bet. It isn't bad at all, although it looks like it was filmed with a home camcorder and Dogme 95 lighting rules. The nudity is a rip-off, however. It is rated R for "some nudity", among other things.  I guess "some" must mean this, which would probably not get this girl arrested on a beach where nudity is illegal.

• some nudity (1, 2)

OTHER CRAP:

• The famous scenes (nuns in sex acts with a statue of Christ) cut from Ken Russell's The Devils thirty years go, and thought lost,  have been found, and will be aired on Britain's Channel Four on the 25th. That film has never made it to DVD on Region 1. This would provide a good excuse. This is not a cheap sexploitation film, but a serious film based upon an Aldous Huxley book. According to IMDb, "This film was banned from Italy and its stars Redgrave and Reed were threatened with three years jail time if they set foot in that country."
• What is the world's worst job? Gorilla-masturbator has to be one of the contenders.
• The ultimate complaint letter
to a British telecommunication company.
• Greg Allman to Christina, "Hi, I'm Gregg Allman". Christina to Gregg, "who the hell is Gregg Allman? Are you that candy bar guy - y'know, like, Allman Joy?"
• discussing the f-word
• Corey Feldman gets married on the set of his new TV show. MC Hammer performs the ceremony. Of course its true. You can't make up stuff like that. There is no picture. I wonder if Feldman wore that Sgt Pepper outfit that he's been wearing for the past decade.
• The staff of Something Awful discusses how to get rid of Jehovah's Witnesses
• Kurt Cobain was murdered. Weekly World News has their characteristically irrefutable scoop.
• What happened to Jesus in between ages 12 and 30? Why it's all documented in the long-lost Gospel of Biff. I don't know anything about author Christopher Moore, but he sounds like my kinda guy. He has written books called:
  • The Gospel According to Biff
  • The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove
  • Island of the Sequined Love Nun

  Come to think of it, he also sounds like Roger Corman's kinda guy.

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Back to the sixties today for a look at Stacey Walker.The first cap is an image from "The Notorious Daughter of Fanny Hill", just to show you her gorgeous beauty. Then Stacey becomes a "Babe in Bondage"in a short subject from the DVD called "Stacy Walker, Dreamgirl".

This looks like one of the old time b & w bondage loops, it looks a little fuzzy at times as it was a dream sequence showing Stacy tied up, stripped of her clothes and whipped.The Final 4 caps are again of Stacey in glorious color in "The Notorious Daughter of Fanny Hill".

• Stacey Walker tied up and whipped in "Stacy Walker, Dreamgirl" (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
• Stacey Walker topless in "The Notorious Daughter of Fanny Hill" (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

Lisa Ryder

Doig and Ryder of course are best known as the co-stars of the syndicated series "Andromeda", but unfortunately don't show any goodies...Well, actually Ryder does show breasts, but they are prosthetic.

In the Doig collage, Kaye Penaflor and Tania Maro appear topless as virtual co-eds.