A couple of working class stiffs, one a prostitute and the other a clerk in a comic book store, manage to emerge with all the money in a battle between cops, mob guys, and coked-out Hollywood bodyguards.

In the climactic shoot-out, all the players are gathered together in the same room, all pointing their guns at each other and shouting "drop 'em". They all begin firing, and everyone gets killed except our two heroes and one of their friends.

Gee, guess who wrote this silly, implausible exercise in ultra-violence? Hint: it came in between Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction. Tarantino wrote, but didn't direct this one. That honor went to Tony Scott.

The cast assembled not just one or two of the usual physhotic bad guys and unbalanced good guys, but ALL of them. Every last one. Gary Oldman, Christopher Walken, Dennis Hopper, Samuel L Jackson, James Gandolfini, Tom Sizemore. It also has all the quirky off-center leading men. Brad Pitt, Christian Slater, Val Kilmer. In a sense, it's kind of a grand opera performed without singing. All the characters are larger-than-life, all the situations are wildly implausible, all the dialogue is like the exchanges between Spiderman and The Green Goblin. In other words, it's yet another adolescent masturbation fantasy.

I don't like this kind of film, largely because I can recite every plot twist and every line of dialogue before it happens. But many people really enjoy this kind of low-brain high-testosterone film, where all the rams try to butt horns until only the strongest one is left. If you are a male, less than 30 years old, you are the target market for this film, and may like it a lot, judging from the IMDb ratings. (Males under 18 rate it 7.9, males 18-29 rate it 7.8).

I guess Quentin Tarantino learned all his criminal behavior patterns from dime novels and comic books. It's pretty obvious that Tarantino hasn't ever met any real criminals, because real toughs don't spend hours talking about how tough they are. You can't do that if you're in the violence biz, because it allows your opponent time - time to catch his breath, to devise a plan, to find a hidden gun, whatever. Time is always the enemy, because the longer you delay to commit a crime, the greater the chance that unforeseen circumstances will disturb the plan. Professional criminals need to commit their crimes fast and get out before anything has a chance to go wrong. Only drugged-out losers talk about how tough they are. Tough guys don't have to, and don't want to, because they don't want anybody to know anything about them unless necessary. You think they go around broadcasting "hey, I'm a killer"? If they do, they won't be around that much longer. I guarantee you that if you do know a real tough guy, you aren't aware of it.

I knew some wiseguys when I was in the amusement game business. The high powered guys were ultra-elegant in the Old World style, and the lower level guys would always try to bribe you rather than threaten you. That's obviously morte effective. When you threaten people, they call the FBI. When you bribe people, they become part of the enterprise and keep their mouths shut. And even if they refuse the money, they don't get on the horn to the Feds.

But, of course, that very boring businesslike behavior doesn't make for a good jack-off fantasy.

or "Winter Sleepers," is written and directed by Tom Tykwer, and was done immediately before Run, Lola. Run. The theme is similar -- the way people and events are all inter-related. I need to caution you at this point to ignore the IMDB summary, as it has at least 4 serious factual errors. Rebecca (Floriane Daniel), who works in the office of ski instructor by day, and translates steamy novels from English to German by night, lives high in the Bavarian Alps in a house belonging to her friend Laura (Marie-Lou Sellem). She is having an torrid relationship with the ski instructor, Marco. They seem to have great sex, and lots of arguments.

Meanwhile, Laura, who is a nurse, returns home. The local projectionist, Rene, steals Marco's car in a drunken stupor the same night, and a near collision with farmer Theo, who is towing a horse in a trailer, causing the car to be emended in a snow bank, and the truck and trailer to roll. It is only after Theo gets out that he realized that his young daughter was riding with the horse, and is seriously injured. Laura meets Rene, and they become an item. Meanwhile, Marco is trying to find his car, Theo is trying to find the person who ran him off the road, and Rene has no short term memory due to a military accident with a grenade. Laura is the primary care-giver in the hospital to Theo's daughter.

That sums up the relationships -- to find out how it all plays out, it is worth seeing. It is in German with subtitles, but that didn't stop IMDB readers from giving it 8.0/10 (only 335 votes). Major critics have yet to speak. Box office gross is around $10M. We have a short breast from Marie-Lou Sellem, and lengthy breast exposure and brief full-frontal from Floraine Daniel. Both actresses were excellent. The story is engaging, and the scenery spectacular. I found myself caring very much about the characters. If you enjoy "art films," this one will not disappoint you, as long as you don't expect another Run, Lola, Run.

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Can Viagra cure electile dysfunction?

THE PALM BEACH POKEY
You put your stylus in,
You put your stylus out,
You put your stylus in,
And you punch Buchanan out.
You do the Palm Beach Pokey
And you turn the count around,
That's what it's all about!

You put the Gore votes in,
You put the Bush votes out,
You put the Gore votes in,
And you do another count.
You do the Palm Beach Pokey
And you turn the count around,
That's what it's all about!

You bring your lawyers in,
You drag the whole thing out,
You bring your lawyers in,
And you put it all in doubt.
You do the Palm Beach Pokey
And you turn the count around,
That's what it's all about!

You let your doctors spin,
You let the pundits spout,
You let your retirees sue,
And your people whine and pout.
You do the Palm Beach Pokey
And you turn the count around,
That's what it's all about!

You do the Palm Beach Pokey,
You do the Palm Beach Pokey,
You do the Palm Beach Pokey,
That's what it's all about!