 |
Happy Holiday to you Americans and to any others who may celebrate this
day by eating too much.
Apropos of nothing, it is also the 44th anniversary of JFK's
assassination
Since I can't remember the exact day when the Fun House began in
November of 1995, we often think of Thanksgiving as our anniversary, so we
turn 12 today and may or may not have hit puberty.
Lotta years. In 1996, when the site was free, most of the e-mail I
received was from college students. Now those kids are in their thirties.
This year will mark the thirteenth time we have produced a Christmas
edition. Seems like we just started that best nude scene thing, but this
will be the eighth year of that. The first-ever winner was Shannon
Elizabeth in American Pie.
Go for it, trig boy!
nip/tuck
Claudia Christian. Haven't thought about her in ages.
Since Bab 5 went off the air, I haven't seen her in anything except that crappy
Steven Seagal movie. I didn't even know she was still acting. Then she pops up
on Tuesday's nip/tuck and does a nude scene.
If you remember her from Hexed, well, that was 14 years ago. She's in her early
40s now and looks about like what you'd expect from a 40ish woman you haven't
seen in ten years. Mind you, she still looks pretty good, but she now looks less like the girl you want to date, and
more like her attractive mom.
On the other hand, the ol' butt still looks pretty solid!
Here's the film clip.
I guess I could have made four film clips, but they would all have been as
frustrating as that one. The nudity in nip/tuck is always irritating. It seems
to consist of one or two frames, kind of like one of those subliminal ads they
used to run in the fifties. It almost makes no sense to do a film clip at all
because you can't even see the nudity unless you run the clip frame-by-frame.
For a woman who grew up in California and Connecticut, Claudia certainly has a
strange accent. It sounds like she liked her Russian accent so much that she
kept it, albeit toned down with a hint of upper crust London.
Collages follow.
There was another bit of kinda-sorta nudity on the show, from a nun who
wanted breast reduction surgery. I assume these enormous breasts are a
prosthetic chest. In fact, in that last cap, I think what you get a
glimpse of is not her nipple, but her real breast underneath the facade.
On the other hand, I have never seen Tamara Craig Thomas naked, so I
don't know what she's supposed to look like.
Here's the film clip.
Collages follow.
|
|
|
* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).
* White asterisk:
expanded format.
*
Blue asterisk: not mine.
No asterisk: it probably
sucks.
|
OTHER CRAP:
Catch the deluxe
version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles,
here.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
Hustler Squad
(1976)
The setting: a Philippine island in WW II, site of a major bordello used by
Japanese officers for R&R. Allied intelligence picks up the fact that three
generals and an admiral will be visiting, so they task their least conventional
officer, major Stony Stonewall, with
finding a way to kill them. He gets together with the leader of the island's
resistance movement, and the two finally hit on an idea that could work. They
will recruit and train four female assassins to infiltrate the brothel as
hookers. Their first "volunteer" was incarcerated for second degree murder when
she killed somebody for interfering with her sex life. Number two was a
volunteer nurse, and is now dying. Number three is a hooker being hunted by the
mob. The last is a Filipina who saw her family killed while she was
being raped by Japanese soldiers.
Hustler Squad is exploitation drive-in fare, actually shot on location in The
Philippines, with virtually no attempt to re-create the 1940s except some faux
"big band" music in the background. IMDb voters rank it a wretched 1.2, placing
the film in line to challenge the worst ever for the bottom spot. The Top 1000
IMDb voters score it as follows:
5 or more - absolute 0
4 - 3%
3 - 3%
3 - 6%
1 - 87%
True enough, and exactly why you should watch it! Invite some friends over,
get well into the first six pack, put this on, and have a ball.
As a bonus, two of the women, Lynda Sinclaire and Nory Wright, show breasts.
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Notes and collages
The Ballad of Cable Hogue
Part 4 of ?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
Bloodlines
Another "mutants in the woods" horror flick, this 2007 effort does add
a couple interesting twists, like women being forced to fight to the
death. Nevertheless, it's B-movie all the way, complete with lame script,
bad acting, and a really predictable "live happily ever after" ending.
Billy Bob Hackford is head of a family of inbreeds living deep in the
Kentucky backwoods. He himself is not physically deformed, so he decides
to clean up the bloodline by having his monstrous family capture women who
will be forced to fight to the death. Billy Bob gets the winner, who is
allowed to live until she gives birth to his offspring. Then, adios,
winner.
They've gone through a ton of women and popped a bunch of kids, but
when they abduct a southern tomboy with deep family ties, her brothers
track her down and all hell breaks loose.
It's sure not great, but some parts aren't bad, and there's plenty of
action and interesting women.
 |
 |
| Molly Berg |
Tracy Kay Wolfe |
|
|
|
|
| |
Again with the sorta kinda rare stuff found on videotape. First up in caps and clip is
Cristina Ferrare, the former Mrs. John DeLorean, in a sloppy mess of a movie entitled Mary, Mary Bloody Mary. Ms. Ferrare plays a lesbian vampire...as if any other kind of female vampire could exist. Topless in a couple of scenes. The tape had a bunch of skips but the image quality was okay.
 
Then there is former Miss Ethiopia (1979) Zeudi Araya in The Body. Zeudi had quite the body. Showed it off in a couple of scenes, only one of which was lighted by anything other than two matches and a candle.
Carroll Baker is also in this film. She shows off her behind. Old saying goes like this: Those who love the law and sausage should never watch either being made. In that context, anyone who remembers Ms. Baker as a major babe with a tiny body should not watch this movie. Nope.
Clips only for three other movies:
- Priscilla Barnes in Texas Detour. Priscilla is the poster child for that society of actresses who were skimpy with the skin when they were young and hot and then oh so very free with the T and the A when all of it had gone south.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
