Ski Wolf
2008
OK. It's a skiing comedy. Now that you know that, guess the plot.
If you thought anything else besides "Lovable douches and stoners have to
keep snobby rich dudes from taking over the mountain," shame on you. I guess
there is no other possible plot for a skiing comedy. I'll bet I've seen ten
would-be comedies about skiing and snowboarding, and they all revolve around
that very same premise.
This one does have a slight twist to it. One of the lovable losers turns into
a werewolf and
spoiler alert.
eventually decapitates and disembowels some of the snobs.
end spoilers
As ski comedies go, this makes that awful one with Tom Green look like an
episode of Masterpiece Theater. The acting in this film is so over-the-top that
it makes the cast of F-Troop seem like the Royal Shakespeare Company. The bad
guy is so one-dimensionally evil that he makes Mr. Burns seem as lovable and
sincere as Jimmy Stewart. Except Mr. Burns is funny when he's over-the-top.
Trent Zaaga is just hyperactive. If this script had been produced in 1966, Larry
Storch would have played Trent's role ...
... and would have been more subtly nuanced.
You haven't heard the worst news. The acting is much stronger than the
script. And the script beats the hell out of the production values. If you look
at the box below, you can see the gritty realism of the werewolf make-up.
The film does have one thing which we have to consider a positive from the
point of view of celebrity nudity: a four minute sex scene involving a woman
with freakishly large natural breasts. The woman in question is an adult film star and model named Alix Lakehurst.
(And a definite Oscar contender.)
So it has that goin' for it. That's the only positive other than the fact
that the ... er ... "film" is only 71 minutes long including the credits on both
ends, so the agony is brief ...
... but agonizing.
Here is a Google image search of Alix Lakehurst, if you want to see what I'm
talking about
Here's the scene in Ski Wolf.
This will also give you an excellent opportunity to see the quality of the
acting.
IMDb never heard of this, but Amazon has it for sale, if you care to see the
info:
I get a commission if you buy it, so you'll know I'm serious when I
say, "Do NOT buy it." (Thirty bucks new! Such a deal!) Don't even accept
it if someone pays you to take it, because sooner or later somebody will
see it lying around and think that you watched it, or worse, that you
paid for it.