Sunday

Tuna
"Point of Terror"

Point of Terror (1971) is from a 16 film double set of Horrible Horrors Collections. If this film is any indication, it promises to be a monumental crapfest. First, this isn't horror at all, but more like drama. Second, you might want to skip the plot description entirely, because the main character awakens at the end, and the entire movie was just a dream. Peter Carpenter is an ambitious lounge singer. Dyanne Thorne (of Ilsa fame) is wife of a wheelchair bound record producer, who decides to have a fling with him. Paula Mitchell is his girlfriend. When Thorne's hubby catches on to the affair and threatens to ruin Carpenter's career, Thorne lets him drown in their swimming pool. Carpenter wants to marry Thorne, but she is only interested in a little fun. Then a stepdaughter arrives for the funeral, and Carpenter goes after the stepdaughter, and talks her into a quickie Tia Juana wedding. Thorne returns home in time to inform him that the will disinherits her if she marries before age 25. He struggles with her, and she ends up thrown off a cliff. Just as he is about to leave on a honeymoon trip with the stepdaughter, his girlfriend kills him, then he wakes up on the beach.

Breasts from Thorne, and breasts and buns from Mitchell. The music is every bit as bad as you would expect given the year of production, the sets are nothing special, but the most unintentional laughs come from the cheesy dialogue. IMDb readers have this at 2.8 of 10. One of the IMDb comments calls it "A Sparkling Gem of Badness," which is the only way top award more than an F. So, as a bad movie, the kind to make fun of in a group, this is a C+.

  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails

  • Dyanne Thorne (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
  • Paula Mitchell (1, 2, 3, 4)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    The Chronicles of Riddick (2004):

    There isn't any nudity in this film, but since Junior brought it up yesterday and I have seen it, I thought I'd share my thoughts.

    First of all, I am surprised that nobody has pointed out the similarities between the Riddick stories and the Conan stories. I guess people were fooled by the fact that one takes place in the future, the other in the past. Both men are lone renegades, muscular and violent anti-heroes making nomadic travels through hostile environments. The parallel is especially evident in Chronicles, in which Riddick, like Conan, is a bad-ass barbarian struggling against a powerful sword-and-sorcery empire, first alone, then with a female companion who matches his own feral ferocity. Then, again like Conan, Riddick eventually goes all the way from being a prisoner to becoming the king of his former enemies.

    If Twohy makes a sequel, it will be interesting to see how closely it parallels Conan the Conqueror, Robert E. Howards only full length novel, in which a mature Conan sits on the throne of Aquilonia. Conan was eventually unseated by evil magic, a plot which would fit in perfectly with the mystical and evil Necromongers, who now recognize Riddick as their king (as of the end of Chronicles).


    Junior hit on the major problem with The Chronicles of Riddick, which is that they made Riddick a sweet guy, even though Judi Dench kept saying that evil was necessary to combat evil. This time around he's not evil in the menacing way of Darth Vader, but only in the same sense that The Care Bears and Barry Manilow are evil. This time Riddick is a cross between Francis of Assisi (wild animals are like putty in his hands) and the post-reformation Grinch (an incredibly adorable little girl, let's call her Mary Lou Who, asks Riddick, "Ow you gonna beat these new monstews, Mistew Widdick?").

    The second biggest problem with the film is that it's really Battlefield Earth in not-so-clever disguise. John Waters would have rejected the set design is "too campy." In fact, the only effort they made to disguise the Battlefield Earth look of the sets was to throw in an occasional idea from Minority Report, but filtered through a Battlefield Earth lens.

    James Berardinelli hit on the casting and characterization problems:

    "Colm Feore, the Canadian actor, is inadequate as the Lord Marshall. "Intimidating" is not a word one would ever use to describe Feore, yet that's precisely what's required of him here, and he isn't capable of delivering. Supporting actors include an underused Thandie Newton (as the scheming wife of a Necromonger captain), Judi Dench (whose ethereal character serves no useful purpose), and Keith David (whose Imam isn't around for very long)."

    I liked Pitch Black a lot, but Riddick left me cold, even though it was made by the same director. As Junior said, it's just another formula action picture. There is nothing wrong with making an action film as a sequel to a sci-fi film. Both Aliens and Alien turned out fine, and many people think that in that instance the action sequel is a better film than the sci-fi original. Maybe so, but the difference between good sci-fi films and good action pictures is that sci-films work best when they are intelligent, and action films work best when they are dumb. Pitch Black was an imaginative, masculine sci-fi film which stuck to its guns. Riddick is kinda dumb.

    Not only that, Riddick is ...

    Well, let me say this. I have a 14 year old niece whose favorite painter is Monet. I lent her both films and she thought Riddick was way better than Pitch Black. So let me finish the thought I had before.

    ... Riddick is for girls.

    EEEW!


     

    One more thought about Riddick. Science fiction and its cousin dystopic fiction have invariably limned a view of the future as an extension of the most fearful elements of the present. Science fiction probably tells us absolutely nothing about the future, but it always reflects the greatest fears of the present.

    • When Orwell wrote 1984, the world's greatest menace was Stalin, so the book reflected a fear of the ever-encroaching power of the absolute state.

    • Battlefield Earth saw the future of the universe drowned by greed, as conquering civilizations expand their economic empires in a manner reminiscent of 19th century England.

    • Blade Runner, a product of the 70s and 80s, saw the future as a product of class struggle, rampant consumerism, and pollution. (And the usual corporate greed, of course. That was de rigueur for the times.)

    So what is the biggest problem of our time? Religion. The cold war is resolved and Communism is all but dead except in a few remote outposts like North Korea and Cuba. Class struggle is becoming less important as the middle class expands throughout the world. So the bugbear of our time is the struggle between fundamentalist Muslims and fundamentalist Christians, two forces that between them now control several nations with powerful weapons and/or large populations

    How is that related to Riddick? Well, it seems that the film's Necromongers, the powerful conquerors of the future universe, will not do it to build economic empires. They just want to convert all the universe to their own religion. In essence, they are missionaries with powerful weapons. Not unlike today's America, in a way. If you think about it, the entire Riddick story could be viewed as an allegory for America's invasion of Iraq.

    Does it bother anyone else but me that our view of the future never assumes that we will cast away the negative elements of our times and build on the positives? I guess a pleasant and peaceful future, one in which people live in harmony and keep their religious beliefs to themselves, would make for a boring story.

    • sorry, no nudity

     

    Dead Solid Perfect (1988):

    Dan Jenkins is arguably the funniest sports writer of all time. With a great ear for the way athletes really talk, a total lack of pretension, and a raunchy sense of humor, Jenkins rocketed to the top of the profession with his profane masterpiece, Semi-Tough. Unfortunately, it ended up   an average movie with Burt Reynolds and Kristofferson.

    One of the characters in Semi-Tough, Uncle Kenny the golf hustler, later ended up with his own book - Dead Solid Perfect. The book wasn't as good as Semi-Tough by a long shot, but it ended up being made into a fairly funny movie because Jenkins wrote his own screenplay. In fact, although this was a made-for-cable cheapie, it is rated higher at IMDb than Semi-Tough.

    If nothing else, it has one of the greatest nude scenes ever. Uncle Kenny (Randy Quaid) and his scholarship girl (read golf groupie) are camped out in a motel room, messin' around, when they run out of ice. The girl (Corinne Bohrer) goes to the ice machine, but doesn't bother to get dressed. This turns them on enough that they end up using the ice for non-drinking purposes.

    Sorry to say I don't have any audio for this (it's not on DVD), but it's still awesome.

     

    Other Crap:

     

    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the links above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

     

     

    MOVIE REVIEWS:

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

     

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    ICMS

    Words, pictures, and vids from ICMS
     

    La Piscine (1969)

    Hello Scoopy !
     
    Today I'm presenting you with three clips of an actress without whom the Fun House might never have seen the light of day.

    Without her knowing it, she carried the embryo of our most beloved internet page. People who read and remember Scoop's reviews and remarks will know that I am of course referring to Romy Schneider, the first woman he saw naked on screen in his teens (reread his remarks on "l'Innocent aux mains sales"). Actually I envy Scoop since he remembers the first woman he saw on screen in the buff. Not only was she a famous beautiful woman, she was also a very good actress. I don't have such memories, I simply don't know.

    So here are 3 clips from 1969's La Piscine (The Swimming Pool) in which Romy shows breasts and buns to us and French heartthrob Alain Delon.

     

    SK Babies - episode "Die Giftschlange"

    As a Sunday bonus for the Fun House's ninth birth day - I think I read the Fun House first somewhere in July 1996 - I'm offering you 2 clips of a German actress with only 3 credits in the IMDb. It's Anya Fischer in U18-Giftschlange. What do we have? A goodlooking damsel in distress in the bath tub and a menacing snake. Do I need to say more?

     

     
    That's all for today.
     
    Yours faithfully,
     
    ICMS

    Spaz
    'Caps and comments by Spaz:

    Mostly PG-rated stuff today. After "nipple-gate" cable networks are showing alot less nudity.

    "Reluctant Angel" (1997)
    Movie starring Megan Follows from Anne of Green Gables fame showing some rare skin.


    First Wave: episode Breeding Grounds
    Blatant Carrie rip-off but without the obligatory group shower scene.


    Rescue Me: episode Alarm
    Episode revolves around a potential threesome between a twentyish fireman, his fortyish girlfriend, and her eighteen year old daughter. Yeah, right.


    Counterstrike: episode Cat in the Craddle
    Every crime series has such an episode where they go undercover at an obligatory strip joint.


    Counterstrike: other season three episodes

    • Toni Naples: b-movie actress showing mega cleavage.
    • Unknowns: porn actresses in Victoria Secrets underwear in episode "Skin Deep".


    Cold Squad: season two
    Various guest stars.

    • April Telek: cleavage as hoe.
    • Megan Leitch: Fox Mulders sister from The X Files dancing in her skivvies hepped up on goofballs.
    • Laurie Bell: nude after getting gangbanged.
    • stripper: cleavage in episode "Dwayne Douglas Smith".


    Da Vinci's Inquest: season three
    Various guest stars.


    Mutant X: season 1
    This series has some sort of gene therapy which requires the female patients to strip down to their black tube tops.

    Variety
    Kim Basinger
    and
    Mimi Rogers

    Coming to DVD December 14th. Thanks to LC for these 'caps from "The Door in the Floor". Rogers bares all 3 B's. Basinger shows us a fully nude side view with breast exposure during a love scene.

    Summer Altice Here is the tall volleyball player/model/actress/former Heffer (August 2000) going topless and showing a bit of partial rear nudity in scenes from an episode of the late night cable series "Chromiumblue".

    Hatcher and Longoria

    Sheridan and Longoria


    Gman's turn to take a look at last week's episode of "Desperate Housewives". We've seen a few versions of these scenes already this week, but personally there are two things I can never get enough of...One is Eva Longoria in her undies, the other is hot babes riding mechanical bulls. Now if only they would combine the two in a future episode!


    Mandy Moore
    (1, 2)

    The pop singer/actress at some assorted celebrity event. Her dress features a some see-thru surface area up top. If you stare long enough, I think you can make out just a hint of nipple.

    Melanie Gutteridge
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

    Señor Skin 'caps of Gutteridge topless and showing full dorsal nudity in scenes from the UK TV series, "Manchild".